Cat, Rat, and Dog

By Matelia-legwll

A/N: Here we are. Finally. If you'll remember, Peter was having a bit of trouble trying to research in the Library:

I looked back around the library. Merlin's beard. Will that ruddy woman stop staring over here? It's like I was doing something wrong. I looked down at my book and read the title for the first time. Little Women. I let my head fall onto the table.

Why is it so hard to do something right?

CHAPTER SEVENTEEEN: Sirius

Where is that bloody map? Clothes (there's the Invisibility Cloak), Prongs's mirror (got to set that down carefully), texts (he's still carrying that one around?), old essays, doodles (how many different ways can he embroider Lily's initials?), some unfinished homework, and I've emptied out practically the whole trunk with no map. Maybe I missed it somewhere.

I rummaged back through all his clothes, checked the Invisibility Cloak once more, before the doorknob turned suddenly.

I started piling the things back into James's trunk as fast as I could. It wouldn't do any good for James to see how much I had hunted through his trunk, looking for the map. I sat on my heels as the door completely opened to reveal —

Remus?

He stood there a moment, calmly observing the state of the room (Oops. I think there's still a pair of trousers on the windowsill) and my current position on the floor, kneeling close by James's open trunk.

"What are you doing, Padfoot?" he wearily asked.

"Er..." I quickly searched for a plausible answer.

"You're looking for the map, correct?" Moony stated more than asked.

"No, no!" I immediately objected. "I was looking for the... Cloak! Prongs's Invisibility Cloak!"

Remus pointed at the trunk. "You're on bad form today. You're usually smart enough to say something that's not in plain sight, Padfoot."

I turned to look at the trunk and, lo and behold, the Cloak was spread out over the whole trunk, covering nearly everything in there. Mangy Merlin. I thought I put that in first, not last.

"I had — just found it," I protested, trying to stick with my lie, "right before you came in."

"Just admit it, Padfoot. I guessed right," declared Moony.

"And then I spread it out so I could locate the pockets to find Prongs's mirror," I continued, ignoring Moony's comment.

Remus let out an incredulous chuckle. "Today is just not your day. The mirror is right there, next to your knee."

I looked down. Ruddy mirror. Bleeding cloak. Bloody map that started this whole mess. I took a deep breath and smiled up at Remus.

"I had just barely found it," I stated again.

Moony rolled his eyes. "Please. You are not being very persuasive. You must be really flustered."

I frowned. I absolutely hated it when someone saw through my stories. It makes me even more troubled, and it just spirals downward from there like a bird with a broken wing. My lies get weaker and weaker, and the person's determination for the truth gets stronger. I might as well just give up.

Moony shrugged, then suggested, "If you can't find it there, I may have borrowed it for a bookmark in one of my texts. Speaking of..." He went over to his bed and rooted around for a moment, finally pulling away with a blank piece of parchment, of which he tore off a corner and put the parchment back with the roll.

I watched with growing horror. "You're telling me you might have ripped off a corner for a bookmark?" I exclaimed.

Remus looked stunned. "No, of course not!" he upheld, shocked and defensive. "I would've put the whole thing in as a bookmark!" He paused. "If I even used it as a bookmark. I can't remember."

"You — you can't remember?" I burst out.

"I can't remember either way. I don't remember using it. But I also don't remember not using it," Remus sighed.

I regarded him warily as he gave me a half smile and went out of the dormitories. I immediately felt a wave of guilt as Moony disappeared from sight. I'm not acting like myself. This whole map business has set me on edge. I wish Wormtail would just tell me where the ruddy thing is. Then I could go and find Moony and express my apologies for overreacting.

I looked over at James's trunk. I felt disillusioned, betrayed somehow by the inanimate trunk. Giving a sigh, I decided to glance through Moony's texts to see which option he should remember. Moony keeps all of his texts on a separate shelf.

The Standard Book of Spells Grade One, Grade Two, Grade Three, Grade Four, Grade Five: a smattering of parchment corners marked his place in all of these. A History of Magic: Several parchments close to the front, indicating, I suppose, many tries to read without getting very far. Magical Theory: Dog-eared, but no parchment.

You know, I usually take offence when I hear someone call a down-turned corner of a page "dog-eared." Then why, for Godric's sake, am I calling that book 'dog-eared?' I am really quite disgusted with myself.

Quidditch through the Ages: Well thumbed, and the pages are starting to wear. Not surprising, as he had lent it out to everyone. A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration: I snorted. I could hardly remember the days when we studied out of such rubbish. Magical Drafts and Potions contained just a few torn corners of parchment, stuck in there randomly as far as I could tell. Even Break with a Banshee, one of Remus's favorite texts, didn't contain a whole sheet of parchment.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was heavily graffitied. I took pleasure in noting that the whole section on werewolves was crossed out and rewritten by our resident werewolf. One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi, however, had no markings. It almost looked as if he had never touched it. Hogwarts, A History and Advanced Transfiguration were both relatively used looking, but with only scraps of parchment marking different places. Numerology and Grammatica had numbers written all over the different margins, but no parchments.

Crumpets. I looked around, searching for another book. Surely Moony had another book somewhere. Something that housed the map. But, where? I had turned in a complete circle before diving for that cover of the book I felt sure had to house the map: Hairy Snout, Human Heart. The new book by an anonymous werewolf.

I eagerly flipped through the pages, growing anxious once more when no bookmarks appeared. I hesitated, then turned the book so that the pages were to the floor. Surely Moony would forgive me if I lost his place trying to find the map. I shook the book, holding it by its cover, and waited for something, anything to fall out of it.

No such luck. I shook it harder. Come on! No, please! Please be there. I sighed, disappointed. Where else could the map be? I looked under Peter's pillow, I looked through James's trunk, I even looked through all of Remus's books. Where else could I look? I huffed, frustrated.

Stupid rat. Hang on... what if he thought to trick me by hiding it in my things? I faced my fourth of the room, and winced. I probably should clear up my stuff sometime before the end of the year, but hey, it's only Easter. I've got plenty of time. Same amount of time I have to study for the OWLs. I snorted. Like anyone would ever catch me studying.

Speaking of which, why am I spending all of my time up here in the dormitories? There's a prank to plan. Easter Sunday is tomorrow. I exited the Common Room, pausing outside the portrait hole. Where'd James take Lils? The kitchens, right? Of course.

I started off for the kitchens. Lunch.

I'm starving. I wonder what I can get off of the house elves.

I paused in my stride for an instant. Evans. Wasn't she trying to tell me something? Before? Oh well, I shrugged and continued on my way. I forgot. I don't even remember her clues. Must not have been too important. I wish I could say sorry somehow without James noticing. I fought a grin for a minute before I realized I was all alone and free to grin as I pleased. James and Lils. James and Lily. Bonding down in the kitchens, and James doesn't even know it.

Hang on, I know what I can do. This ought to be fun to watch.

I grinned evilly as I thought through my plan. Who said anything about me watching?

Peter's List

Check. Item one: Hide the map.

Check. Item two: Tell Sirius.

Check. Item three: Laugh off any weird questions.

Item four: But don't laugh when an ironic situation comes up.

Check. Item five: Take a deep breath if the subject comes up.

Check. Item six: Don't hyperventilate when others are discussing cats or Evans.

Item seven: Just stop reminding myself that the cat is Evans.

Item eight: Change the subject if it is hitting too close to home.

Item nine: Don't look suspicious.

Item ten: Don't tell anyone the real reason for this list.

A/N: Well, this is just not my summer, is it? I meant to post this before I went on vacation, but life just got in the way. After I mostly recovered from my wisdom teeth, I totalled my car by crashing into the van in front of me. The airbags popped and everything. My first accident, and completely my own fault. So yeah. That was the Tuesday before I went on vacation. I am currently on vacation and count myself extremely lucky that my parents haven't found me on my grandma's computer yet. My wireless on my laptop isn't connecting again. Ugh. So, yeah. Sorry for the extreme wait. This is the longest I made you wait yet, and I thank you for your patience.

Well, what do you think about this chapter? What's your favorite part so far? Any good dialogue or good rants? Any suggestions? I'll take them into consideration, I promise. Any questions for me?

Can you think of anything to add to Peter's list? Tell me in a review or PM, and I'll find a way to use it. My only request be that the list consist of rather obvious or pathetic notions, and that it would be absolutely hilarious to make Peter follow through on. Keep them coming! Please! The most I have right now is twenty-one. Great job, but can we make twenty-one a good twenty-five or maybe even thirty? It's only a couple more chapters until he adds most of what I have to his list.

I'm trusting you, my lurking reader, to step it up and send me a little note. I'm trusting all my stalwarts to keep up the excellent reviews. Keep reviewing, please. I promise I'll respond to all reviews. Even to anonymous reviewers, as long as you include an email address.

Oh, and I've been updating my profile avatar image to correspond with something in each of these chapters. Go ahead and visit my profile, especially if you are waiting for the next chapter. I try to post the next picture during my editing stint.

Thank you for reading!