Lesson in Living
Chapter 7
PART ONE
By Starath
Author's Note: At long last, I rise again! For some reason big life changes have called me back to this story, and I found I could pick up right where I left off. Hopefully that continues for a long time! Since I've been gone so long, I thought I'd give you guys an extra long chapter, split up cuz it contains so much awesomeness. Thanks for reading! Important stuff: I don't own "Bad Boy" by Cascada, Kari and Stephan belong to DLO, and thanks to Crab for teaching me how to make macaroni and cheese…
The vacuum hummed across the floor, picking up dirt and a new layer of fine cat hair. Casey pulled it back and forth in time with the music she listened to on her MP3 player.
"No, I don't need you again…"
She twirled, expertly tugging the vacuum's cord with her. She nudged the twin, now very-well-used beanbag chairs with her foot to get them away from the wall. On top of the refrigerator, Ravage surveyed the scene with obvious distaste.
"You never thought that a girl could be stroooong, now I'll show you how to go oooon…"
Casey booted the beanbag chairs back into place, singing merrily, pleased to finally clean her apartment. She didn't hear the front door slam shut.
"Be my bad boy, be my man, be my weekend lover but don't be my friend—" She twirled to backtrack beside the couch. "You can be my bad boy, but ---EEEEK!"
All five Decepticons stood in the formerly empty entryway, grinning. Frenzy peeked out from behind Megatron.
"I'll be your bad boy anytime you want, Star!"
Her face flushed to the shade of a good sunburn. She yanked out her earbuds and flipped the switch on the vacuum. Its continuous hum halted, and in the quiet she heard mischievous giggling.
"I don't need one, thank you."
"Are you sure?" Frenzy asked.
"Absolutely." She caught Megatron's wide, evil grin and glared at him, instantly irritated by such a smug look. "What? Stop grinning like that. Your face will stick."
Instantly everyone's smiles vanished. They scattered across the apartment to their chosen places to crash.
"Would it really stick?" asked Starscream, taking his place on the couch. He slouched into perfect couch potato position.
"Yes," Casey said, noticing Megatron's amused expression. Anything to get him to stop smiling! She growled. "And for the sake of Primus, take your shoes off! I just vacuumed! Who knows where you boys have been."
Rumble and Frenzy plopped down side by side in front of the closet, laughing together. They unlaced their shoes.
"You're awfully defensive, Star," commented Rumble.
"So what?"
"Are you sure you don't want a 'bad boy'?"
They were all grinning again. Apparently they couldn't be fooled this time. Damn! Desperate to hide her blush, she all but threw the vacuum into the closet and ran into the bathroom.
Starscream cackled with glee and made room for Megatron when he sat down on the couch too.
"It's a shame we can't mess with her back in our world."
Megatron chuckled at the thought. "Isn't it? Oh, the things we could—"
A sudden melodic tone interrupted him. He jerked, startled, and got up to investigate the source of the sound. He followed the highly annoying melody to a small electronic device on the kitchen table: Casey's cell phone. He hesitated, then reached for it. What was the harm in answering it?
Casey emerged from the bathroom after any trace of her blush was gone. How embarrassing to be caught like that, singing THAT song of all possibilities! A black lump threw itself down at her feet with a furry thud and meowed. She squeaked with happiness.
"Ravage! Are you all better now that the scary vacuum went away?" she scratched behind his ears and picked him up for a good cuddle. To her left, the TV clicked on. Starscream had the remote like usual. The twins were already on the floor in front of the TV, drawn to its glow like a pair of moths. Soundwave had tucked himself on the windowsill again, and Megatron…
The man looked absolutely horrified.
"Megatron? Are you okay?"
He had something in his hand. Ravage climbed up on her shoulder as Casey approached him.
"What's wrong?"
"I didn't mean it." He blurted. "I didn't think…"
Casey froze. "What. Did. You. Do?"
He revealed the cell phone. She snatched it from him. "You answered my phone, which I said NOT to do, and you…" she checked the 'received calls' record. "Bryan? You talked to Bryan? Oh great!"
Starscream twisted around, eager to see what kind of trouble his leader had gotten into now. The twins popped up off the floor and rested their chins on the couch's edge.
"Is that bad?" asked Frenzy.
"Yes, and this is exactly WHY I said not to answer my phone!" She folded her arms and Ravage helped her glare at him. "He knew who you were, didn't he?"
He swallowed. "Affirmative. But I didn't know—"
"You couldn't have known; that's why I created that rule! Bryan is a big Transformers fan," Casey explained. "He knows practically everything about… us, or at least what that show says."
The room became very quiet.
"Oh," said Starscream, no longer enjoying the situation.
"Yeah. Now you know." Casey stomped down to her room. "Hang on. Maybe I can do some damage control." She brushed the cat off her shoulder. "Ravage, go see Soundwave. You smell funny."
Casey paced in a circle while the phone rang. It clicked.
"Bryan's Crab Emporium."
"Bryan! I… uh, sorry I missed your call, my Uncle Mike—"
The young man's low voice interrupted her with a bark of laughter. "Girl, why didn't you tell me you had Megatron at your place?"
"He's not—"
"Ha! He's the worst liar ever, Casey. Who else is there? Is it just him?"
In the background, she heard a door slam shut and she sighed. "Look, this isn't as great as you think it is."
"Oh, I bet! Don't go anywhere. I'm coming over." The rumble of an engine drowned out his voice. "I'll be there in 45 minutes."
"But you live an hour away, Bryan. Honestly, stay home."
"I'll drive fast. You think I would miss this? Who else is there? You mentioned you had friends there now—five of them?" The screech of tires nearly deafened her. "Whoa, I'd better pay attention. See you soon!"
The connection broke off before she could say anything more.
The Decepticons turned to face her when she came down the hall. Their expressions were anxious but curious, all expectant. Casey slipped the cell phone into her pocket and threw up her hands.
"Guess what, boys? We're gunna have company!"
Another "How to Behave" speech and thirty minutes later, Casey stood in the kitchen with Starscream in front of the stove. She adjusted the heat under a boiling pot of water. She pointed to the blue and yellow box on the counter.
"What does it say to do next?"
Starscream grimaced. "Why can't you do it?"
"Because I'm tired of hearing about you being hungry all the time. You've been here two weeks now. The twins and Soundwave learned how to make this already, so can you."
In front of the TV, Rumble and Frenzy sat watching an old tape of Darkwing Duck episodes with heaping bowls of macaroni and cheese in front of them.
"It's not that hard Screamer." said Rumble, and laughed so hard he choked on a noodle when Darkwing ran headlong off a cliff shouting, "Geronimooooo!"
Frenzy pounded on his back. The small elbow macaroni flew out. Ravage pounced on it and made it disappear.
Starscream huffed and grabbed the box, attempting to put his meager ability to read Human to use. "It says, uh, 'The noodles must cook for seven to eight minutes.'"
"Right. Set the timer on the oven and pour the noodles in."
He made a face, about to protest how he was far too good for this task, when his stomach growled. He dumped the noodles in.
"So Starflight, when is this friend of yours supposed to arrive?" asked Megatron, watching them from the recliner.
She checked the clock, ignoring the flutter of nervousness in her stomach. She wasn't sure who she should be more worried about when the time came— the Decepticons or Bryan.
"Anytime now. Do you want anything, Megatron?"
"I'll eat later. I'm eager to meet your companion."
Casey stopped fussing with the burner's heat and glanced over her shoulder. "What did I tell you about plotting?"
"I'm not plotting."
"Good."
"I'm scheming," he corrected, and easily caught the potholder she threw at his head.
"Screamer, are you stirring? If you don't the noodles will stick together."
He reluctantly picked up the wooden spoon. "I'm stirring, I'm stirring."
"Good job." Casey frowned, noticing the dark bristles peppered across his chin and face. She scanned the others. The twins didn't have anything, but Megatron and Soundwave looked pretty scruffy too.
Suddenly the door buzzer went off like a giant bumblebee: BBBZZZZZZTT.
Everyone jumped. Rumble paused the videotape. "What was that?"
She swallowed, going to the speaker by the door and pushed a little black button.
"Bryan?"
"I'm here!" Static obscured the voice. "Can I come up?"
Casey noticed absolutely evils grins on every one of the Decepticons. Well, except Soundwave, but he still looked guilty of evil anticipation.
"Proceed at your own risk."
Moments later three heavy knocks rattled the door. In the middle of instructing Starscream how to mix in cheese powder, Casey wasn't fast enough to answer the door. Frenzy got there first.
"I'll get it!"
"Wait, I think I should—"
He'd already turned the doorknob and pulled. "Hi!"
The face of Optimus Prime stared down at him. "I knew I would find you here, Megatron."
Frenzy bolted backward and slammed the door shut. "IT'S PRIME!"
"What?" cried Casey.
Megatron was up in a flash, ready to engage his mortal enemy. "Prime! You track me even to THIS realm?"
"Rumble, Frenzy, Operation: Defend Refuge." called Soundwave, and instantly his Cassetticons were at his side.
Thinking too quickly, Starscream grabbed the cheesy wooden spoon. "I'll get him!"
Casey squeezed past the advancing warriors and blocked off the hallway.
"Stand DOWN!" she shouted. In the second they obeyed, she hurried out and shut the door.
She found Bryan lying on the floor, laughing so hard he could barely breathe between howls of glee. A discarded Movie Optimus Prime Voice Charger helmet sat against the wall, staring at them when Casey stormed up to her friend.
"Bryan! That was NOT funny!"
""Y-y-you should have seen their faces!" he gasped. "It was great!"
"You just scared FIVE Decepticons into battle-mode, moron!"
"I… I… bet the little one shit his pants! HeeheeheeHAHAHA!"
Casey crossed her arms. "Yeah, and I'll have to do Frenzy's laundry. Get up off the floor, doofus." She retrieved the Optimus Prime helmet. "They'll destroy this thing, just you watch."
Bryan removed his glasses so he could wipe the tears of glee out of his eyes. "I don't care. There's like a million of them out there." He heaved himself up to his full 6' 1' height and grinned. "That was worth it…. no matter the cost."
Casey thrust the helmet into his hands. "Ha ha." She stood up on tiptoe and pulled some dead grass out of his blonde hair. "You won't find it so funny when you walk in there."
"Maybe, maybe not." He shrugged, tucking the helmet under his arm. He flashed a roguish smile. "Been awhile, Casey."
"Hasn't it?" she finally smiled back. "Haven't seen you since before Christmas."
"Too long to go without my old high school buddy." He gave her a gentle noogie and turned to her apartment door. "So, five of them, huh? And you've been dealing with them all by yourself? That's amazing."
"I've had some help from Kari when things were rough a few days ago. They think I'm a Decepticon disguised as a human. Megatron and Soundwave know the truth, but it's important the others keep believing the opposite, okay? Even though, to others, I'm supposed to be a normal human."
"I think I can manage that. Is it okay for me to call you "Star", though?"
"I guess so. It's what they call me anyways." She sighed. "Let's get this over with."
Total silence greeted them both when they stepped inside the apartment. The room felt so icy Bryan shivered. Casey made sure to keep herself between the Decepticons and her old friend. "Uh, boys, this is Bryan. Bryan, meet Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, Rumble and Frenzy."
He glanced at each of them and shifted uneasily. "Umm… hi."
"Not Prime," said Megatron through clenched teeth.
Bryan adjusted the Optimus Prime helmet under his arm nervously. "Nope, just his empty head."
"I would find that amusing if I did not have the burning urge to KILL you."
"And I would gladly assist!" said Starscream, brandishing his cooking spoon.
Casey snapped it out of his hand. "No you won't. It was a joke. Get over it."
Rumble clenched up his beefy fists. "I didn't find it funny! Let's take him, Bro!" They began to march forward when Soundwave caught them both by the scruff of the neck.
"Although warranted, not necessary."
Frenzy strained against the grip. "But Daaaaad!"
Bryan started to chuckle when he smelled a faint odor. "Hey, what's burning?"
"Huh?" Casey's nose twitched. She yelped and dashed for the stove. "Screamer! You were supposed to take it OFF the heat!"
"I was? No, my noodles!" he cried, and hurried into the kitchen.
Suddenly Bryan found himself standing in front of Megatron, exposed. The older man wasn't much bigger than him but he had a presence that loomed larger than anyone he'd ever met. A chill passed through his bones. Unnatural red-brown eyes glared at him with such intensity they nearly pinned him to the wall. He tried to shrug off the feeling of ultimate doom. This might be Megatron, but he was only human now… wasn't he?
"Come here often?" Bryan tried to break the ice.
After a long pause Megatron finally blinked. "You may be Casey's friend, but you had best watch yourself, boy."
"I'll let you know when I'm worried."
Megatron smirked. "You wouldn't have the time." A potholder came out of nowhere and smacked into his face. He sputtered. "What was that for?"
Casey had another one ready, holding it like a frisbee. "For ruining your dramatic effect. Be nice."
"Megatrons do not need to 'be nice!'"
"Is there more than one of you?"
"No! Don't be absurd!"
"Then stop saying things like that. It's annoying."
Bryan stared at them both. "You actually talk to him like that, Star?"
Megatron scowled. "Regularly."
"Something you should be used to, huh?" Casey ignored his growl and tugged on Bryan's shirt, leading him away from the kitchen. "Hey, can you help me with something?"
Bryan stashed his Optimus Prime helmet on top of the refrigerator, out of immediate reach of anyone who might do it harm. "Yeah sure, what do you need?"
"Um… these guys need to learn how to shave."
That stopped him for a moment. "Oh… okay."
Casey shrugged. "I can't exactly show them by example. Well, I could, but it'd probably be as awkward as teaching them how to potty. I already put supplies in the bathroom, they just don't know what it's all for yet."
"You taught them to do what?"
"Bryan…"
"Wow." He eyed her with a new sense of respect. "You deserve a medal for that."
She groaned. "Don't even get me started. I'll rally the troops after Screamer is fed. Oh, and if you see a black blur, don't step on it. It's my new cat."
"Really? What'd you name it?"
"Ravage."
Bryan laughed. "Of course."
Casey headed into the kitchen in time to help Starscream salvage the burnt remains of his lunch. Bryan took the opportunity to investigate the bathroom and the materials necessary for shaving. When he emerged into the doorway, he found his path blocked by Rumble and Frenzy. They were both shorter than him by at least ten inches. Faced with their scowls and folded beefy arms, however; Bryan realized size didn't matter with these two.
"Can I help you with something?"
He guessed it was Rumble, in the blue shirt, who answered first. "Star told us you're an old friend from school."
Bryan nodded. "That's right."
"And that's all you are to her?" asked Frenzy, in the black shirt.
"Yeah…"
"She also told us to be nice to you," said Rumble.
"But let's get one thing straight," said Frenzy, "she's my girl. Don't you mess with her."
"Or we'll mess YOU up, got it?"
"She's your girl?" Bryan glanced at Casey, who was arguing with Starscream to get him to eat his macaroni and cheese. "Does she know this too?"
"Of course she does!" snapped Frenzy. His eyebrows disappeared under his sunglasses when his scowl deepened.
"Uh huh…" Bryan doubted this didn't go without protest on her part. He knew her well enough to know that, and Casey preferred taller, older guys anyway. Still, he thought it best not to argue. "Okay, I understand. We're just friends. You don't have to worry."
"See that it stays that way."
"Yeah, or else!" Frenzy smacked a hefty fist into his palm for emphasis.
Being human certainly hasn't changed their attitudes any, thought Bryan, and he nodded. "Got it."
"Good. Let's finish Darkwing Duck now, Bro."
"Yeah! I wanna see what happens when that love potion wears off. People are stupid when they're in love."
Just like that, the Cassetticon Twins hopped back in front of the TV. Bryan shook his head. That was a little… odd. He'd just been threatened by a pair of Decepticons over his best friend's affections. It felt like high school all over again.
"I don't CARE if it tastes funny, you made it, so eat it anyway!" Casey flopped onto the couch next to Megatron and threw up her hands. "He complains about everything!"
"He's Starscream," Megatron said, as if the statement explained it all.
"I heard that!"
"Shut up and eat!" Casey looked at Bryan, who was biting his lip to contain laughter. "Yes, I talk to him like that all the time too. You might as well teach Megatron and Soundwave while Screamer's feeding."
Megatron groaned. "What else could we possibly need to know?"
She glanced at him, then Bryan again. "The art of shaving facial hair."
"The what?" Rumble and Frenzy asked together.
"You two are too young to be worrying about that. I leave the rest of you in Bryan's capable hands for this lesson."
"Does it hurt?" asked Megatron, rubbing his prickly chin.
Bryan shrugged. "Only if you do it wrong."
After a somewhat confusing explanation, Starscream stood in the bathroom doorway. He watched Soundwave and Megatron shave while he finished his bowl of macaroni and cheese.
"You look better already," he told his leader, smirking.
"Don't distract me." Grumbled Megatron. He ignored Ravage when the cat slid around his legs and hopped up onto the toilet seat. Soundwave, unfortunately, eyed Ravage a moment longer than he should have.
"OOOOOWWW!"
Ravage bolted away to hide under the couch. Soundwave dropped his razor and knocked his sunglasses into the sink. He pressed his palm to the underside of his jaw and blinked repeatedly as tears came to his eyes. Megatron stared at him in shock.
"That is the loudest cry I have EVER heard you make for as long as I've known you. That's not right."
Casey already had her first-aid kit open. "Here's another band-aid."
Bryan passed it to Soundwave over Starscream's shoulder. Soundwave peeled apart the wrapping and pasted the band-aid over the cut, grumbling. At least he was even now, with another band-aid on the other side of his face to match. Megatron had only needed one band-aid so far, despite Starscream's efforts to increase his injury count.
"Hey Star, what are we to do after this?" asked Starscream.
Megatron nearly sliced into his chin. Why hadn't he been asked?
Soundwave saw his leader's jerky movement and shook his head ever so slightly. Megatron met his gaze in the mirror and snorted. At least someone else noticed that everyone had developed a habit of asking Casey instead of the rightful commander.
"Um, I dunno." She selected another band-aid just in case. "Do you guys want to do anything? You were already out once today."
Bryan grinned. "Oh, I know. Let's take them to the mall. Let the public deal with them."
"The mall? Hell no! There's too many people there! Who knows what they'd do."
"I was just joking…"
"Don't SAY things like that, Bryan. Geez. That's asking for trouble of the worst sort."
Megatron's interest perked. He set his razor aside and examined his reflection. He looked better now… sort of, if you didn't count the band-aid stuck to his chin. "Now why would you say that?"
Casey froze. "Urk..."
"Yeah Star, we went to WalMart okay!" said Frenzy.
"What's the big deal about a Mall?" asked Rumble.
"Assuming we do, in fact, create trouble there?" Starscream's smirk might have been more menacing if not for the cheese around his mouth.
"Maybe it'll be fun!" said Frenzy.
"Better than staying here all day!" said Rumble.
Casey's face shifted to the color of blank paper. She whirled on Bryan and slapped his arm. "BRYAN!"
He dodged the next series of slaps. "It was just a joke!"
"Now they WANT to go!"
"I don't think you're helping by freaking out!"
"I am NOT! Hold still, doofus!"
Casey closed the first aid kit and swung the plastic container at him. Bryan danced away and put the couch between them. "I see you're still violent with random objects!"
The twins laughed and got out of Casey's way. "She used her shoe the other day!"
Casey darted around the couch, growling, and stopped short when something pulled hard on her impromptu weapon.
"Starflight… You have neglected to answer our questions." Megatron said, smiling. He easily yanked the kit from her hand.
Casey sputtered and considered hiding from that evil smile in a paper bag. Or something. "Bryan means the Mall of America. It's really big, full of people, stuff to buy, and it has an amusement park in the center. It's got all kinds of stores and restaurants that sell all sorts of things. I really don't think it would interest you guys. Besides, I don't have the transportation or the money."
"I think we should be the judge of that," said Megatron, still smiling.
"It sounds like fun! We've never been to an amusement park before." said Rumble, then thought about it. "Well, one we haven't been there to smash up."
"Or one even the right size for us," added Frenzy.
"You told us practicing to be among humans was a good thing," said Starscream.
Casey made a grab for her kit and missed when Megatron held it out of her reach. "But— Soundwave has to work!"
"My shift begins at 7:00 tonight. It is currently before noon."
"I can drive." said Bryan.
"Then it is decided." said Megatron, nodding. "We go."
She looked them over. The Twins gave her pleading expressions. Starscream smirked. Megatron had that I-dare-you-to-argue-with-me glint in his eyes. Soundwave wore an I-dare-you-to-argue-with-HIM face while managing to look bored at the same time. Bryan just smiled and waved. Outnumbered six to one. She attempted to shove Megatron to the side, and passed by him to march to her room when he allowed it.
"I'll change clothes. Bryan, I'll kill you later."
"Aw, you worry too much."
"I worry because they're Decepticons!"
"It'll be fine. What's the worst that could happen?"
Casey pelted both palms over her face with an audible double slap. "Don't you know you're NEVER supposed to say that, EVER?"
--
To be continued…