Lesson in Living
Chapter 7
PART TWO
By Starath
-- -- -- -- -- --
"Today's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why." –Hunter S. Thompson
"Are we there yet?"
Bryan nearly choked. He flicked on his left turn signal and waited for the streetlight ahead to change color. He glanced at his shotgun passenger and looked away before they could make eye contact. Laughing at Megatron's question while they were confined in a small space didn't seem like a good idea.
"Not yet. We have about five miles to go."
"And then what?" asked Starscream from behind him. Bryan had made sure Starscream didn't sit behind Megatron on purpose. Still, it was odd to hear the voice coming from a real, breathing person sitting two feet away. Bryan smiled to himself. So far he hadn't had a Transformer-fanboy meltdown. He was handling this well.
"Then we find somewhere to park. Then we walk to the mall."
"Will that be far? I hate walking."
"It depends on where I find a parking spot. The mall's a big, popular place and will definitely be busy this weekend."
"Make walking minimal, then, human."
Megatron snorted. "You're issuing orders now, Starscream? How typical."
"Well at least I'm not sulking like somebody—"
"I'll see what I can do." Bryan interrupted. The last thing he needed was the two of them fighting while stuck in his van. The novelty of Decepticons-as-humans would wear off quickly, then. He ignored the glare Megatron gave him and focused on the road in front of them.
The streetlight swapped red for green. Bryan guided his beat-up van through the intersection's turn. Behind Megatron, Soundwave grabbed the sides of his seat with white knuckles. It was hard to tell due to the large man's sunglasses and baseball hat, but Bryan suspected Soundwave was fighting with motion sickness. Funny how despite being machines in their real lives, they hated being inside one. Or maybe that was just with human-made machines. Megatron hadn't been thrilled to step inside Bryan's van earlier, having pronounced it "hardly fit for transporting refuse, let alone Decepticon warriors." Bryan found himself grateful his van hadn't been red, at least. He adjusted his rear view mirror so he could see into the back seat. Yep, Casey was still glaring at him.
"How you doing, Star?"
Casey shifted uncomfortably. Her glare could have broken the mirror's glass. She sat between Rumble and Frenzy, an arrangement she'd tried very hard to protest. They took turns asking endless questions, pressing their noses to the windows, and hugging her out of sheer excitement. She rocked to the right when it was Frenzy's turn to hug her.
"Oh, I'm just peachy."
The Mall of America contains over 500 stores within its walls, in addition to its amusement park at the center. The second largest mall in North America, it has practically everything, from a wedding chapel to a simulation NASCAR raceway. There was a store here to interest anybody— including Decepticons.
Starscream's sharp ears picked out the low rumble from the Mall's crowd noise and bee-lined for its source. The store he found intrigued him. The interior's front counter was designed to look like a flight control tower. On the wall facing the Mall's walkway, four screens showed off four separate fighter jet dogfights at the same time. The roar of engines was punctured by the rapid-fire thumping of a gatling gun now and again. Fixated by the sight and sounds of jets, he watched the screens, oblivious to everything else. Eventually he blinked and spotted a row of glass cases to his left. Peering inside, he grinned as he examined the small model jets. He moved to stand beside a mannequin dressed in an Air Force pilot's uniform, complete with helmet and breathing mask. He circled the mannequin twice before the others caught up with him.
"Star— er, Maverick, would you kindly not do that again?" said Casey, "I don't want to lose any of you here."
Starscream's eyes sparkled. He practically vibrated with glee. "What is this place? I hear my fellow Seekers."
"In one of those grey boxes?" asked Rumble, scratching the back of his head.
"Kinda unlikely, right?" asked Frenzy.
Ahead of them, six oblong chambers hummed as though they were alive. They somewhat resembled the body of old fighter planes without the wings or cockpit glass. Each chamber bore a number and stickers one might find on a hotshot's plane— a skull and crossbones; a row of flags counting the number of enemies shot down. Starscream let out a whine, approaching one to circle it, but found he couldn't. They were too close to the wall. He settled for hovering around the chamber's door.
"What are these, Starflight? I must know!"
"Maverick, you're behaving like a fool." said Megatron, frowning.
Casey giggled. "It's natural he'd be attracted to the sound."
Bryan read the store's sign and grinned. "A.C.E.S. Yeah, that makes sense."
"Information required." said Soundwave.
"Those are flight simulators." Casey pointed at the chambers. "They're used to train military fighter pilots, I think, but these are for fun."
Starscream approached her and put on the most pathetic pout possible. "Can I get in one? Please?"
"Um, they cost money."
"I don't care! I've been grounded too long!"
Casey shook her head. "Maybe later. We have a lot to see."
He tried appealing to Soundwave. "You have money, right? Please Soundwave? I promise I'll be good! I'll do your base duties for a decacyle!"
Soundwave folded his impressive arms. "Fulfillment of promises is highly unlikely."
Rumble and Frenzy snickered to each other. Starscream scowled at them.
"Your judgment of my character leaves something to be desired."
"Irrelevant. I know you."
"Oh, thanks a lot."
"Alright, c'mon boys." Casey waved at them, already moving past the next store. "Like I said, we have lots to see."
"But I wanna flyyyy!"
Megatron swatted Starscream on the back of the head. "Quit whining. You sound like a sparkling."
"Oh, I know. Want me to take your picture for now?" asked Bryan, pulling a silver digital camera out of his pants pocket. "With the fighter pilot?"
"You brought a camera?" asked Casey.
"Duh. You think I'd go without proof of this day?"
"You can take them home with you if you want."
"Nah, I don't think Mom'll let me keep them."
"Slag…"
Megatron chuckled. "Do not sound so eager to be rid of us, Starflight."
"Yeah, well, you're not me."
"Hey, is my picture going to be taken or what?"
Bryan bit his lip to contain laughter and held up his camera. He sighted Starscream and the fighter pilot through the viewfinder. "Hold still."
"Then we wanna turn!" said Rumble.
"Yeah, with Star!" added Frenzy.
After the pictures were taken, Casey led them to the Mall's Rotunda. The circular corridor cut through the Mall's levels; three floors straight down. She pointed at the empty stage below.
"This is where special events are held, like when a famous singer comes to town. I saw Josh Turner and Mindy McCready here a few years ago."
"Wow…" Frenzy peered over the edge of the railing. "Hey Boss, isn't this about how tall you and the others are in real life?"
Megatron gauged the distance for a moment. "Approximately, although we would never be confined to such a narrow space."
"Narrow?" Rumble laughed. "Try living in Soundwave's chest compartment."
"So… we'd be eye-level with you standing here?" asked Casey. "I mean, since I haven't met you as your, uh, normal self."
Megatron rubbed his chin. "This is more Starscream's height. I'm larger by at least a meter."
"Cool."
"Larger in ego, you mean." Starscream dodged his leader's fist. "Missed! Ha! Could the Mighty Megatron be losing his ai— OW!"
"No, I'd say my aim is just fine."
Flashing lights and music attracted Frenzy the other side of the walkway, toward the center of the Mall. "Hey Bro! Come look at this!"
Bryan followed Rumble and Soundwave, pausing behind them to snap a picture.
"Whoa, look at that!" Rumble spotted the swinging blade of a giant axe lined in yellow lights. It spun in a vertical circle while its carriage of riders was turned upside-down at the same time. "Looks awesome!"
"That's the Mighty Axe." said Bryan.
"It spins around like that and turns you upside-down?"
"Yep. Pretty cool, huh?"
"Have you ever been on it?"
"Uh…" Bryan swallowed. "I prefer seeing my meals only once, when I eat them."
"I concur with the sentiment." said Soundwave.
"Ooo, look at that, Bro!" Frenzy pointed out a green roller coaster as a cart of screaming riders went by. "Looks like fun! Wonder why they're screaming. Aren't they happy?"
"It's a happy, thrilled sort of scream." explained Bryan.
"Yeah, it sounds different from normal scared human screams…"
"That looks fun too!" Rumble indicated a ride called the Screaming Eagle, one that spun its passengers upside-down. He turned to Soundwave the same time his brother did.
"Dad!"
"Can we go on the rides?"
"Pleeeease?"
"Negative."
"Aw, why not?"
"It's what humans do!"
"It's supposed to be fun!"
"Technically we are not human."
"Close enough!"
"Yeah, Dad!"
Bryan grinned and glanced behind them. "We should get back to Star and the others. She's getting antsy. Either that or she wants to kill Megatron and Screamer."
"Agreed." Soundwave grabbed each twin by the back of the neck and marched them to the Rotunda.
"Daaaad!"
"Leggo!"
"Hey, mind if I ask you something, uh, Walker?" Bryan double-timed to keep up with him. They trailed after the others down an escalator.
The large man glanced at him and gave a shrug, easily thwarting any attempts his twins made to get away. "Inquire if you like."
"Well… you're human, but are you still a Transformer?"
"Affirmative, to a certain extent. We retained abilities from our real forms."
"Really? What kind?"
When Soundwave paused a moment too long, Frenzy piped up. "Me an' Bro can play back any music we hear only once. He plays the guitar while we sing."
"Yeah, and we can still get into anything locked." added Rumble with a mischievous giggle.
Their father grunted and sighed. "Unfortunately."
"What can you do?"
"I am able to sense the presence and emotions of my Decepticon comrades."
"Wow. What can Megatron and Starscream do?" Bryan stepped onto another escalator behind them, looking ahead to the Mall's bottom floor. It figured that Casey would go this way first.
"Starscream can teleport like Skywarp for some reason." said Frenzy.
Rumble scratched his nose. "Come to think of it, we dunno what Megatron can do. Do you know, Dad?"
Soundwave's eyebrows disappeared under his sunglasses when he frowned. "Negative."
"Hmm. Maybe he doesn't know yet either?"
"Yeah, but it's not like the Boss-Bot not to know stuff." said Rumble.
"He only tells us what's important to know at the time anyway." said Frenzy.
Soundwave's frown deepened. "It is possible."
Casey's squeak of delight broke further conversation. It was her turn to have her nose pressed to the glass. Inside the Build-a-Bear Workshop, stuffed toys sat on pedestals facing the window. Children bounced in place beside tired parents, waiting to have the toy of their choice stuffed, brushed or dressed up. She moved from one toy to the other, squeaking when she paused to admire them.
"They're soooo cute! I want the teddy bear. Or the puppy. Maybe the leopard and oh my gosh the Husky is cuuute too…"
Bryan noticed Megatron's irritated scowl and slid up alongside her. "I don't think you're acting like a Decepticon," he whispered near her ear.
"Hang them. I want one, but I haven't the money Bryan…."
He took her by the hand and pulled her away. "Maybe later, if you're good."
"But I'm ALWAYS good!"
"We should go to your other favorite stores first, don't you think?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, right!" Casey took off through a crowd of people, apparently forgetting she was in charge of five Decepticons.
Starscream snorted. "What was that about?"
"She, uh, collects toys."
"Why?"
"For fun, I guess." Bryan laughed to himself. "She's a typical girl gone shopping right now. Come on, before we lose her."
Luckily Bryan guessed right where she'd go next. They found her happily trawling the tight aisles of Hot Topic. Insanely loud rock music wafted out of the shop, capturing Rumble and Frenzy's attention. They darted in to explore. Starscream also went in, curious about what Casey found so thrilling about all the black clothing. Megatron lingered at the entrance, appalled by the loud music. Soundwave elected to stay outside where he could watch other people come and go.
"I will guard the entrance, my leader."
Megatron hesitated, then patted the loyal soldier's shoulder. He found Casey and Starscream next to a display of t-shirts hanging on the wall. To his surprise, he saw printed images of himself, Optimus Prime and other Transformers on the shirts.
"Look familiar?" Casey grinned at them. "You wanted to know where I got my Starscream shirt from." She pointed out a grey shirt identical to the one she was wearing.
Starscream smirked. "Excellent choice, Starflight."
"I thought so too. Like I said, I'm a Seeker in my other life."
Megatron studied the shirts, battling a sense of pride and revulsion at the same time. His image was bold and fierce on one of them— stark white outlines on a black background— and he had to be proud of that, yet… he was looking at himself… while human. And humans wore his image not as support for his cause, but merely because he— like Optimus Prime— were cultural icons, and nothing more. What would you think of this, Prime? Would you be disgusted like me? Megatron forced himself to look away and jammed his hands into his pockets. What he would give to have his fusion cannon right now… its comforting weight, its capacity for absolute destruction…
"I also have a "Megatron for President" one and one with the Decepticon symbol, too. Naturally I'd support my true cause."
If Casey was looking for any gratitude on his part, Megatron didn't feel like giving it. "Admirable."
"Oh come now Megatron, you sound as though an astroflea has drained your enthusiasm." Starscream pulled him into a mock-hug, gesturing at the t-shirts on display. "We're icons! How many can attest to that?"
He glanced at the hand on his shoulder and growled. "Remove yourself or you will require a jacket with only ONE sleeve."
Starscream let go. Quickly. "I am only trying to cheer you up."
"If you want to please me, Starscream, take a long walk off a short spacebridge."
"Guys!" Casey flailed a bit to get their attention and put a finger to her lips. "Remember your nicknames! People here will recognize your voices."
"How can they above this ceaseless racket called 'music'?" Megatron turned on his heel and stomped off.
"Whoa." Once he was out of earshot she asked, "Is he okay?"
"Who knows." Starscream shrugged. "I don't think he's feeling like himself right now."
"Oh. Poor guy."
"Hah. It's about time he learned some humility."
"Like you're one to talk."
"That's beside the point. Uh oh, looks like the Twins found something to show us."
At the other end of the store, Megatron spotted the Twins carrying a blue shirt between them. A shirt that… looked like Soundwave's front? The image had the Decepticon symbol, cassette window and buttons at the bottom. They eagerly showed it to Casey and Starscream. He could hear them laughing from where he stood. He gritted his teeth. Could this get any more absurd? Again he wished he had his fusion cannon, but caught himself and cast the fantasy aside. He didn't have it right now, period. He was just human. Was he even truly Megatron anymore? With each passing day he lost something of himself, and for the first time in recent memory, he felt powerless in the face of it. My identity is vanishing before my eyes, he thought, and not for the first time, wondered, what am I here for? What is any of us here for? I should know! I'm the leader!
A brief white flash blinded him. When his vision cleared, he saw Bryan sheepishly holding his camera.
"Sorry. The flash came on automatically."
Megatron snarled and advanced on him. "You've chosen the WRONG moment to IRRITATE me, boy!"
"Er… sorry!" Bryan retreated to Casey and the others.
He tried to follow but ran into an end display instead. Something fell off the hook and landed on his black boot. He bent to grab it, fully prepared to tear it to pieces. When he realized what he had, though, anger vanished. The shiny fake leather of the fingerless gloves reflected lights overhead. He flipped them over, intrigued. Black. Like his hands were supposed to be.
"Come on Dad, buy it!"
"It's a shirt that looks like yourself! It's perfect!"
Soundwave exhaled loudly and turned Rumble and Frenzy around to face the store's interior. "Negative. Put it back."
"Can I take a picture of you guys with it?" asked Bryan.
Casey laughed at the face Soundwave made. Starscream nudged him in the side.
"Come on Walker, it is perfect for you."
Megatron approached them shoved the fingerless gloves under Casey's nose. "Buy these for me."
"Huh?" She backed up a step and took the gloves." "Um… I would, but they're thirty-five dollars."
"I care not about the cost."
She started to protest, but thought better of it when Megatron's face hardened. "Um, maybe Walker can help me pay for them." She passed the gloves to him.
"Garment function?"
"Maintaining identity."
Soundwave tilted his sunglasses up. Their eyes met and held for a long moment. He nodded. "I will purchase them."
Casey blinked, unsure of what passed between the two men. "Okay, but we should make sure these fit you."
"I already made sure."
They hadn't left Hot Topic for five minutes when Megatron ripped the packaging from the gloves and slipped them on. He secured them tightly around his wrists. He flexed his hands, watching the fake leather move over his knuckles.
"Ah, at last!"
"Feeling better, leader?" asked Starscream, walking beside him.
"As a matter of fact, I do!"
Bryan made sure he had Casey between himself and Megatron. "Uh oh. The universe isn't safe now."
"The universe will again tremble at my name!" Megatron let out a maniacal cackle that made people stop and stare.
Casey sighed and put her face in her hands.
Bryan was among those who were staring. "You really do sound like that when you laugh."
"Yes," he said dryly, "I practiced every day for two hundred stellarcycles."
"And look how he turned out." Starscream avoided another punch in the shoulder by teleporting to Soundwave's side. The large man punched him instead. "Ow! Not you too!"
"Where should we go next, Star?" asked Rumble.
Frenzy hugged her from the side, nearly knocking her over. "This place is huuuuge!"
Before she could answer Megatron announced, "I require refueling now, Starflight."
"For the LAST time, Uncle Mike, just say you're hungry and need food."
"That's what I said."
Casey rolled her eyes and attempted to peel Frenzy off. She stuck out her tongue at Bryan after he snapped a picture. "The food courts are back up on the third floor. You should have said something sooner."
"I didn't need anything then."
Bryan took another picture when she glared at Megatron. Who would have the nerve to give him that look, after all?
"See what I have to put up with here, Bryan?" she cried.
"But aren't we fun?" Frenzy grinned at her.
"An absolute joy. Let go of me."
Megatron only gave her a knowing, evil smirk. Bryan always thought the best thing to do when the Decepticon leader looked like that was to hide. But not Casey.
"Alright, dorkbot. Come on."
The bustling north food court offered many choices for a meal: Taco Bell, Panda Express and Dairy Queen all shared space with other fast food restaurants along the strip. Neon lights meant to attract customers to the counter did little more than blend together in a colored, confusing blur. Casey stood beside a table with Bryan and the Decepticons-in-disguise, wondering what on Earth Megatron would eat out of all the possibilities. There was a pizza shop here too, but maybe he'd try something different?
"Hey, Casey?" Bryan nudged her. "Why are people staring at us?"
"Huh?" She broke off her gaze from the neon signs and glanced around. People sitting at nearby tables— mostly young women— were gawking at them. Passersby also slowed in their hurried rush for the next shopping stop. She watched a group of women point and talk among themselves like plotting vultures. The Decepticons, distracted by the prospect of food, were oblivious.
"They're not staring at 'us', exactly. It's the boys."
"Really? Not me too?"
"Duh. Three uber-hot guys and two beefy, handsome teenagers. Help me look after Screamer. He attracts girls like fruit flies."
"Until he opens his mouth, you mean."
"I wish. He's a practical clothing model."
"Uh huh. So which one do you like best?"
"WHAT?" Casey's shriek had everyone's attention who heard it.
Bryan grinned. "You said they were hot."
"That didn't mean— ew no— NONE of them!"
A sudden thud from behind made her rock forward. Frenzy stretched to rest his chin on her shoulder. "Except me, right baby?"
Casey growled. Bryan took another picture.
Megatron approached them, frowning. "Enough idleness. What is the delay?"
She attempted to force Frenzy to let go by sitting down. Unfortunately he took the seat first and looked all too happy to have her in his lap. The fact that he was shorter than her didn't bother him one bit. Casey made her weird sound of aggravation and gave Bryan the finger when his camera flashed.
"But you look so cute together!"
"We're not— oh for the love of Primus— let go!"
"Why, don'tcha like sitting with me, baby?"
"DON'T call me that! ARGH!"
Soundwave cuffed Frenzy's ear. "Release her."
"Owwww…" Reluctantly he did so.
Casey took a moment to straighten herself out before facing Megatron. "I was trying to figure out what you'd eat."
"Surely it cannot be that difficult."
"No, Uncle Mike, it's because there are many choices here that you're not used to. Do you know if you'll eat a hamburger? Or nachos? Chow Mein with orange chicken?"
"Isn't there any energon?"
"No… we've covered that. Maverick, stop waving at the girls."
He dropped his hand. "Why? They're being friendly."
"They want to get into your pants."
"They what? Why would they want my pants?"
"Never mind."
"Um, if I may offer some advice?" asked Bryan.
"By all means, please." Casey fended Frenzy off by putting a chair between them. "No more hugs today."
"Awww…"
"This is horribly stereotypical, but guys like meat. Lots of it." He pointed out Arby's. "Try that."
"I'm hungry too," said Rumble.
Casey face-palmed. "You just ate at home!"
"But we're hungry now. This Mall stuff is hard work." said Frenzy. "Can you get us something, Star?"
"Ask your father."
Soundwave gave her a brief, oh-gee-thanks look.
"I can help with that." said Bryan. "You two like anything, right?"
"At least once!"
"Yeah, especially when we're hungry!"
"Okay. I'm a Taco Bell guy. Mind if I take them over, Walker?"
"Negative. Bring me something as well."
"Can do. Let's go."
Bryan led them to the line in front of the Taco Bell counter. Casey tugged on Starscream's jacket. "Are you hungry too?"
He continued smiling at a group of women two tables over. "No, I'm satisfied."
"Good. Walker, can you two watch over our table?"
He sat down in direct line with the women, blocking Starscream's view. He pulled on the Air Commander's arm, forcing him to sit across from him. "Affirmative."
"Alright. C'mon Uncle Mike, let's get you fed."
Megatron followed after her, once again a large, silver-haired shadow. "I am perfectly capable of retrieving my own sustenance, Starflight."
"Oh are you?"
He held out an open hand. "Give me some currency. I will prove it."
Casey cringed. "I don't think—"
"Do you doubt my abilities?" His red-brown eyes took on a dangerous glint.
She attempted to glare at him. "It's not—" His expression made her shiver. She fished out her wallet and gave him a ten-dollar bill. "Okay okay. This should be plenty to pay for your meal. I want the change back. You can get yourself a sandwich and a drink with that."
"I knew you'd see it my way."
Megatron left her and stood in line at the Arby's counter. He was easily a head taller than anyone there and people attempting to get by gave him a wide berth. At least, at the Mall, he blended in with the assortment of people here… sort of. Not many held themselves so proudly. Casey sighed. I wish I could stand like that. It's admirable, even if he's irritating as hell. When it was his turn at the counter, she squirmed with worry. The cashier gave him a confused look during the exchange, but a few minutes later Megatron came back with a tray of food and a triumphant smirk. Casey crossed her arms.
"You asked about energon, didn't you?"
"It was worth a try."
When they returned to their table, Rumble and Frenzy were already nose-deep in a shared plate of nachos. Soundwave thoughtfully examined a bean burrito in front of him. Bryan smiled over his pile of Taco Bell goodies and tossed a soft taco in Casey's direction. She caught it.
"I know you like those."
"Ah, thanks."
"Are you sure that's not sentient?" Starscream asked Bryan, gesturing to Soundwave's burrito. "It looks like something I saw burrowing in an energon mine once."
He choked, in the middle of swallowing when he started laughing. "No, it's not. It's perfectly safe."
Megatron carefully unwrapped his double-layer beef-and-cheese sandwich. He made a face. "This will not corrode my interior, will it?"
"No, it won't." Casey finished her soft taco and helped herself to one of Bryan's napkins. She pushed away from the table. "While you boys are eating, I'm gonna go look at the toy store down that way."
Bryan jumped up after her, pulling her aside when he whispered in her ear. "Casey, don't go."
"Why?"
"I… uh, don't want to be alone with them."
"Why not? They won't hurt you any."
"I know, but… it's just that I pissed off Megatron earlier."
"Oh. Don't worry about it. If he wanted to get even he'd have done something by now. Soundwave keeps him in check anyway."
"Yeah, but…" He fidgeted. "During all this it kinda just hit me that ohmyGOD they're the real Decepticons and it's really freaky."
"Believe me, I know the feeling. You'll be fine. You can send the twins to get me if you have to. Better sit back down before they eat your lunch for you."
"Okay, but if I get fusion cannoned I'm blaming you."
She laughed. "It hasn't happened to me yet."
Walking into ToyCorner always made Casey feel giddy. Away from the Decepticons for now, she freely skipped from aisle to aisle, gleefully prodding at toys that beeped, squawked and honked. She admired a crystal growing kit and moved on to a three-foot tall T-Rex skeleton made of wood. Hopping over the dinosaur's tail, she went to the back wall of the store and stared. Every imaginable stuffed animal was there: Puppies, kittens, giant frogs and bright pink lizards poked their heads out of the fluffy, colorful mess. Casey fiddled with a tiny lobster with magnets in his claws and tail, giggling as she stuck it back on the metal pole upside-down. She stroked the heads of a cheetah and a snow leopard sitting side-by-side. She caught a toy raccoon as it fell off the shelf and gave it a tight hug.
"Hopefully you'll go to a good home soon."
She put it back carefully; pushing the raccoon among its identical companions so it wouldn't fall again. She turned to her right and was faced by a smiling array of teddy bears. These were her weakness. Her gaze lingered on a white bear with black pads on its paws. Standing on tiptoe to reach it, she pulled it out and smothered the bear in a hug.
"Someday…"
She checked the price tag and whined. "Twenty bucks. Someday's not today, buddy."
She returned the bear to its place and stepped back. Smiling sadly, she left the stuffed animals in peace.
Casey's next order of business was investigating the store's Transformer collection. She couldn't take any of them home, but that was beside the point. Slipping past a heavyset young man in the same aisle, she ignored the upcoming Transformers movie toys and examined the ones from the Classics line.
"Looking for a gift?" the young man asked.
She looked up. He didn't look like much, but it never hurt to answer a question. "No, for myself."
"Not for your boyfriend or something?"
"No… I'm a Transformers collector."
"Me too." He rattled some of the movie toys on the hooks beside her. "I have a huge collection. Stuff from the 80's you've probably never seen before. Never opened, unless I have a double. They're in my vault. It's pretty impressive."
Casey suppressed a groan and thought, oh, here we go…
"Do you know what the very first Transformers universe was?"
"G1 and G2. Duh."
"No, the others."
"Oh. You mean the comics? I'm more well-versed in Dreamwave's stuff, but I have some of Marvel's old comics too. They're pretty good. Where it all started, besides the commercials."
A slight pause. "Not many know that. And in the beginning, though, the gods Primus and Unicron fought it out—"
"Order and Chaos, yeah. The opposing forces. Transformers mythos is cool." She nearly face-palmed. Was she out-geeking a Transformers fanboy? And what was he quizzing her for, anyway? She dug to the back of the Classics toy racks, hoping to find one she hadn't seen yet.
"I can't wait for the new movie. It's going to be awesome. See this one?" He picked out a Leader Class Optimus Prime toy and held it up proudly. "Got it already. In my vault."
She spared him a glance. He was in a white t-shirt and cut-off jean shorts, obviously in need of more exercise. Harsh, maybe, but he was a far cry from the handsome, muscular men the Decepticons were. Who I should NOT be thinking of like that! Argh! "Yeah, I don't pay attention to the movie toys. The designs are hideous. Give me old school G1 or Beast Wars any day."
A longer pause, then she heard the sliding of Optimus' box going back on the shelf.
"Beast Wars?" he asked.
"Yeah. I have a few of the toys. I used to play with them, but some are unopened because they're rare."
"Do you know about Beast Wars II?"
"I have Screamer 2 and BB." Oh my God I sound like a dork. But that bit of info got him to shut up…
He laughed quietly and shook his head. "I'm looking at myself."
Casey sighed. "No you're not. I'm too short."
"You know, I graduated from high school early. Gonna go to Harvard with a scholarship. I work on my uncle's farm now, and he says he's never seen someone work as hard as me."
Oh dear Primus. Who are you trying to impress, kid? She moved down the aisle, hoping to escape. So it was true about what fanboys did when they met a fangirl… My brother warned me about this.
"…I'm gunna save up my money and build a bigger vault for my toys. Seen the original Transformers movie?"
"Yeah."
"The original one, you know, the cartoon."
"Duh. The other one isn't out yet."
"VHS or DVD?"
"Twentieth Anniversary VHS."
"I have the original VHS, unopened. Like my toys. But I watch the DVD all the time."
Casey rolled her eyes. What's the deal with unopened stuff? You're supposed to play with the toys, not let them suffocate. "Uh huh. Orson Welles does a great Unicron."
He just stood there. "I'm looking at myself."
Sure you are. She tapped a package containing a Star Wars toy. "They're supposed to be making crossover toys of Star Wars and Transformers stuff soon. Like, Darth Vader turns into his Tie Fighter. Personally sounds like a joke to me."
"Are you for real?"
"No, I'm a figment of your imagination."
"What's your name?"
For a moment she seriously considered telling him it was Starflight. "They call me… Casey."
"My name's Josh."
"Nice to meet you, Josh." Now please go away…
"Where do you live?"
"St. Paul." A nice, big city where he couldn't find her. Ever.
"I've been there. Not as cool as Minneapolis though. So who's your favorite?"
"I grew up with Beast Wars, but lately I've been into… G1 Decepticons."
"Know them well?"
"Personally."
"Know which of Soundwave's Cassetticons—"
"Hey! Hey Star, where are you?"
"Here you are!" Rumble's face popped out from around the corner. The store lights gave his sunglasses a brief flash. He grinned. "Figures. By our toys."
Oh thank you God, she thought. Thank you thank you thank you. "Hey Elwood."
"She's over here, Bro."
"Baaaby!" Frenzy darted into the aisle and hugged her with a thump.
For once Casey didn't push him away. "You have nacho cheese on your mouth."
He wiped it clean with the back of his hand. "Bryan sent us to get you."
"Uh… did Uncle Mike decide to cannon him?"
"Nah." Rumble leaned on the aisle's end piece. "You friend Kari's here with somebody named Stephan. He wants to take Dad and the others clothes shopping."
"He what?"
"That's what Screamer said."
Casey glanced at Josh, who looked to be on the verge of terminal collapse. "You mean Maverick, Elwood. That's just his nickname." She jerked her thumb at the young man.
"Oh, er, yeah."
Frenzy took notice of Josh and frowned. "Hey, is this guy bugging you, Star? Want me to take him out?"
"No no, that's okay Jake." For the first time she wrapped her arm around his shoulders in a hug. "We were just talking about Transformers stuff, but I'd better go with you two now. Bye Josh."
Her hug tactic worked, thankfully. Frenzy rewarded her with a tighter hug and the biggest smile possible. He let her lead them out of the aisle. Rumble started to follow, then glanced back at Josh and tilted his head.
"Man, you don't look so good."
An audible WHUMP! could be heard just as they left the store. Rumble went to the check-out counter.
"Hey lady, there's a guy by the Transformers toys. I think he just fainted or somethin'."
The cashier's face lit up with alarm and she hurried off in the direction Rumble pointed.
Casey could no longer contain herself. Her laughter reached the Mall's high glass ceiling and bounced elsewhere to scare pigeons sitting outside. Frenzy had to let go when she doubled over to hold her aching sides.
"What's so funny?"
---
To be continued in Part Three…