A/N

This is my first debut into the world of writing so expect a lot of stuff to be… less… than ideal. Expect some dark themes, and I'm not gonna lie, I want this Fic to be fucked up but also very sweet. I'm gonna go into Nick's past and his shady dealings a lot. Anyone hoping for just a feel good story, this ain't it but I am going to have many feel good and sweet moments. I am a fluff lover after all ;)

To Camoss and OneWolfe (If either of you bother reading this dumpster fire of a story) I love you both, thank you for the kind words and advice over the PM's I received from both of you on my previous account, I simply cannot state my gratitude.

Anyway, without any further interruptions, ladies and gentlemen, may I present you forgiveness…

--

A crash of thunder shook the ground beneath Zootopia, the deep rumbling sent tremors across every Condo and Duplex in Savannah Central. It was a cold, December night in the district, and winter brought with it thunderstorms as a yearly occurrence that plagued the city since its founding. The rain attacked the district in sheets, blanketing every surface with ice cold water and drenching every mammal that dared to venture outside during the night.

One mammal in particular however, had no choice but to weather the storm. Slumped against the wall of a small alleyway near the heart of the district, sat a young red fox tod, soaked head to paw. The fox wore a light blue Hawaiian shirt and khaki dress pants. The shirt had a large diagonal slash across the chest, a single gash from shoulder to hip. Red liquid stained the garment and matted the tod's fur as the fluid poured from the cut in time with the fox's heart beat, which was remarkably slow, likely due to blood loss. The liquid seeped out from the corners of his lips and down his jaw to drip onto the grimy floor of the alleyway, the low wheeze the fox made signaled that he was alive, barely. The sudden screech of tires on pavement made the fox fling open his eyes, revealing two spheres of emerald, bloodshot and wide with panic. Slowly hauling himself to his hind paws and turning on the spot, he started to run in the opposite direction of the screech but he could only make it a few feet before having to catch himself on the edge of a nearby dumpster, his legs felt like jelly, his head spun with pain as his lungs burned with every breath he coarsely took.

Steadying himself on the dumpster, he turned to face what would surely be his end, expecting to see the barrel of a handgun and the smell of gunpowder as he took in the face of his personal grim reaper. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on who you ask, that wasn't what the tod saw. Bathed in the light of a nearby streetlamp, were two medium sized cars that had seemingly collided with each other, their owners stepping out of their vehicles and onto the street, starting a shouting match with one another. How he hadn't heard the impact, the fox didn't have a clue but seeing as it wasn't his assailant, he felt relieved and turned back around to begin to make his way out of the alleyway. Deciding on a direction, he limped farther into the district.

Dazing in and out of consciousness, the fox had barely realized that he had made it to his destination, a small cellar door in the deadend of another alley, this time it was familiar to the tod. He lost track of time winding his way through the many alleys and streets of Savannah Central, he kept his focus completely on staunching the rapid flow of blood that had now covered the entire front of his chest. Throwing the door open and leaping inside, the reynard found himself surrounded by darkness and for the first time, he couldn't see. Usually his night vision would have kicked in by now but he was blind in the sudden black abyss he found himself in. Spinning around, he slammed the small wood door closed and tried locking it, with some difficulty. His paws trembled as he struggled with the latch. A whine of distress left his lips before he could stop it, eventually locking the door, he backed away from the entrance until his back hit cold stone. Sliding down the smooth surface until he sat, he stared into the dark as he waited for his nightvision to return to him. Not being able to see in the room he knew so well terrified the tod, the thoughts that his attacker could be in the room with him had him panicking.

Tears began to stream down his cheeks. There were no sobs, only silent tears of immense grief. Slowly bringing his paws to cover his face, the fox spoke only to the darkness.

"I'm Sorry". His voice hoarse and filled with regret, he was living in his own personal hell. He had only himself to blame for the events of the night, and he would have to live with them for the rest of his days.

The sound of someone approaching the door brought him out of his sorrow.

"I'm sorry…" as the sound grew closer, Nick Wilde braced himself for his end. Resigning himself to join those he lost tonight, he closed his eyes and waited without even noticing, he slipped into unconsciousness. As flashing lights of red and blue beamed from outside the windows of the cellar like lightning in a thunderstorm…

--

His eyes opening up to see the dimly lit ceiling of the same basement he had just been subjected to hell in, Nick felt something ridged beneath his back. Rising to sit up, he found himself in the oversized dresser that he called his bed. Staring at the dim light seeping in through the windows on the far side of his cellar. "Another Nightmare". They had plagued him every time he slept without fail, nothing had been able to stop his mistakes from haunting him, even in his dreams. Nothing held back his pain, his guilt. Wiping away the tears that had been falling down his cheeks, he simply stared, no particular object in mind. A Pained expression adorned his muzzle, the thought of that night still burned into his soul like it had been yesterday, even though it was nearly a decade ago.

He sat like that for what seemed like an eternity, attempting to regain control over his mind and preparing himself for what the day held for him. Hauling himself out of his bed and taking in the cramped space, nothing was different from yesterday. The same tiny, dingy basement that he knew all too well, the same grimy windows plastered in the dust and filth from decades of neglect, the same sturdy cellar door that kept the world at bay and the only reason he could sleep at night. Moving across the room, into a small bathroom, Nick found his reflection in the mirror. He was still as sickly as he had been for the last 20 years, remarkably thin for being above average size for his species, the fur around his eyes were damp and the emerald pools he looked into were bloodshot and swollen, small tear tracks traced the outline of his face. Ears flat against his skull. Taking in the look of himself, he placed a paw to his bare chest, thankful that his scar couldn't be seen through his fur. Turning the shower on hot, he brushed his teeth as he waited for the room to fill with steam. Eventually he climbed into the plume. Still mulling over his nightmare, like he did every morning, Nick sat on the floor of his shower and let the water wash over him. Pulling his knees to his chest and resting his head on them, he closed his eyes, the burn of the scalding water reminding him that he wasn't still dreaming, that he was safe and that no one was coming to hurt him. The sudden sound of a 'Ding!' back inside his bedroom, if you could call it that, snapped Nick out of his stupor. Not bothering to turn off the water or put on any clothes, he stepped out of his bathroom and searched for the origin of the sound, his eyes coming to rest on the illuminated screen of his cellphone, sitting atop his dresser/bed combo. Striding over and plucking the device from its charging cable, Nick smiled as he saw who had texted him.

"U busy?" Nick smiled at the name placed above the question.

"I was in the shower ;) what's up?"

Nick, realizing he was still soaked, stepped back towards the bathroom with his phone in paw.

The reply came a few minutes later. Satisfied that he successfully embarrassed the other party, Nick smirked as he continued to wash his fur.

A ding sounded from the device sitting on his sink.

"U wanna hangout tonight?"

Nick smiled as he typed his reply.

"Do you even need to ask? ;)"

Nick watched the three dots in the corner of the screen disappear after a few seconds then pop back up, and vanish again.

With another few minutes of no reply, the fox finished his morning grooming and dried himself. Stepping over to his bed/dresser, he went about looking for a suitable outfit for the day and decided on a black button-down shirt and dark blue jeans. Today was the start of his final week as a civilian. He decided to make it count since the next time he saw this drab dwelling, we would be a cop. Law enforcement. He still couldn't believe that he was actually going to the academy, he had his distrust for police ingrained into his soul for many years now but… he couldn't help himself from being happy at the thought, the thought that he could actually do some good for this city, his city.

Satisfied with his choice of attire he set about getting dressed for a few errands he had to tend to. Putting on a load of laundry from the previous day, he laid back into his bed and occupied his time scrolling through the various news sites and social media pages. Something caught his eye however. On the main page of ZNN was an article 'Gruesome murder scene in meadowlands, prey activists claim retaliation!'

Nick frowned and sighed seeing this.

'Of course, exactly what the city needs, more bullshit to scare everyone'. The city was still recovering from the crisis that was the Nighthowler incident and the media were still trying to cause civil unrest. Some things just never changed he supposed.

Suddenly a notification sounded from his phone, seeing a banner with the word Carrots pop up with two carrot emojis on either side. He tapped it with one of his claws and read what she had sent him.

"You know you love me ;)". This gained a chuckle from the fox as he typed out his reply.

"Do I know that?" He smiled as he waited for her reply once again. Watching at the three dots in the corner or the screen showed themselves again.

"Yes, yes you do :)". The tods eyes softened at the text.

'This bunny is gonna be the death of me'.

As the sun started to peak in from behind the curtains of his dreary basement, the fox felt a strange new feeling somewhere within him, he had been felling this for sometime now but he couldn't place what exactly it was. Before he could ponder it further however, an incoming call popped up on his screen. Seeing who it was, he immediately answered, a wide grin plastered on his muzzle. "Hey fluff". Nick said softly. On the other side of the line came a small and sweet voice that he would never tire of hearing.

"Hey Nick".

A/N

And that's a wrap on chapter one! Hopefully at least someone enjoyed this. Like I said at the very beginning, this is the first time I actually sat down and tried to write something half decent. This has been many years coming and I only now had the time to dedicate to this project of mine. After probably 10 or 15 rewrites over a span of a couple years I finally have something I'm at least somewhat happy with. This chapter being shorter than I would like it to be but apparently the human body needs sleep, whatever that is.

Anyway, if anyone would like to see more of this, feel free to leave a review or PM me with suggestions for the next chapter because really all I have is some plans for scenes in the future and no real plan to get there.

But before I start rambling, this concludes chapter one of Forgiveness. I plan on this being a story of many, many chapters but it may be a while before I get the next one out.

Have a good night everyone, I'll see ya next time.

-JSK