Stiles chuckled in Derek' mouth and kissed him back slowly.
Derek sighed into his mouth, enjoying the feeling of the kiss.
Stiles started to kiss Derek' neck and chest, nipping here and there.
Derek groaned quietly and pushed at his chest, "Switch." he whispered, kissing his ear.
Stiles groaned "Okay.." he whispered and relax in Derek' hands.
Derek slowly pushed them so that he was straddling Stiles' thighs, he leaned over and kissed his face quietly, letting his hand run down Stiles' chest.
Stiles moaned quietly and arched from the bed.
Derek smirked and started kissing his neck, nipping once in awhile. He dragged his hands down to his hips and rubbed his thumbs against the soft skin.
"Der..." Stiles moaned and bared his neck, tugging at Derek' hair.
Derek groaned softly and bit at the base of Stiles' neck, just hard enough to sting.
Stiles groaned and bite his lips. Gripping at Derek' hair hard.
Derek licked at the new mark, moaning at the feeling of his hair being gripped.
Stiles moaned and pulled Derek in passionate kiss.
Derek groaned and kissed him back.
Stiles moaned in Derek' mouth and arched from the bed.
Derek pressed him back down as he started mouthing his neck and chest.
Stiles moaned loudly and pulled at Derek' hair.
Derek sighed and ran his hands up his side, as he nipped his neck, and tugged a little.
"Derek...S'good." Stiles groaned and pulled Derek in a kiss.
Derek kissed him back groaning.
Stiles moaned in Derek' mouth and pulled at his hair.
Derek licked his lips and moved his hand to flick at his nipple.
"More...Der..." Stiles moaned and arched from the bed
Derek moaned and kissed his way down to Stiles chest, sucking at the bud.
"Babe...that's good.." Stiles groaned and griped Derek' hair tightly.
Derek grinned and kissed his chest again before going up to kiss him, deeply.
Stiles moaned again and kissed Derek back as passionate as he can.
Derek sighed into the kiss and playfully bit his lip, grinning.
Stiles smiled at him and pulled him in slow passionate kiss.
Derek kissed him back slowly, just enjoying the feeling of his lips.
"I love you, babe." Stiles whispered against Derek' lips.
"I love you too, Stiles." he murmured, kissing him softly before pulling away and smiling at him.
Stiles raised his eyebrows "Have something in mind?"
Derek shook his head, "I just enjoy seeing you like this." he mumbled quietly, kissing his chin.
"Like this?" Stiles whispered.
"Relaxed." Derek said quietly, kissing his cheek, "Calm." he kissed his other cheek, "Happy?" he kissed his nose.
"Very happy." Stiles smiled and kissed Derek' lips gently.
Derek smiled and kissed him back, bringing up one hand to cup his face.
Stiles wrapped his hands around Derek' neck and licked Derek' bottom lips.
Derek let out a low mewling sound and opened his mouth for him.
Stiles smirked before he kissed him more passionately.
Derek kissed him back a little bit harder, and rolled his hips against him.
"Der...mmm." Stiles moaned and thrusted against Derek.
Derek moaned into his mouth quietly and moved his hip until he was rubbing against Stiles'.
"Derek..." Stiles moaned and throw his head back.
Derek shuddered and started mouthing his neck, slowly thrusting with him.
"Babe..." Stiles groaned and gripped Derek' hair tightly.
"Yeah?" Derek breathed into his neck before biting it. Still thrusting painfully slow.
Stiles body shook with pleasure. "More...babe...wanna more."
Derek smirked against his abused skin, "What do you want babe?"
"You...doesn't matter what...just give me more." Stiles groaned.
Derek nodded and kissed his neck and he reached down wrapped his hand around Stiles' slowly thumbing the head.
Stiles moaned and thrusted in Derek's hand.
Derek sighed and started to slowly jerk him off, while kissing his neck.
"Babe...kiss me please." Stiles panted.
Derek slowly leaned up and kissed bruisingly.
"That's good." Stiles moaned and started to kiss Derek' neck.
Derek bit his lip and nodded, leaning his head to the side as he let his hand go lower to tease Stiles' hole.
"Der...fuck..." Stiles moaned loudly and bit Derek' neck.
Derek moaned quietly, and let his finger slip deeper.
Stiles groaned and bit Derek's neck harder.
"Adding to the collection?" Derek panted as he slipped his finger out and reached for the lube.
"Wh-what collection?" Stiles mumbled looking at Derek hungrily.
"The other two marks on my neck." Derek said quietly as he coated two fingers and kissed him, "Spread your legs, babe." he whispered against his lips.
Stiles bit his lips to stop the loud moan and opened his legs widely.
Derek bit Stiles' lip, "No. You told me you wanted to hear me, I want to hear you." Derek breathed, as he slowly pressed on finger in.
Stiles moaned loudly and thrusted back on Derek' finger.
Derek groaned and slowly slipped in the other one, curling his fingers.
Stiles groaned and ran his hands down Derek's back dragging his nails.
Derek shuddered, and kissed him. Still opening him slowly.
Stiles kissed back and bit Derek' bottom lips after that, moaning.
Derek groaned, and pulled away to kiss his shoulder.
"Babe..please...fuck me with your fingers...please." Stiles moaned and thrusted back.
Derek groaned and picked up the speed of his finger just slightly.
"Faster...Derek...wanna more." Stiles whispered looking at Derek' eyes.
Derek shuddered, and nodded as he started moving faster.
"Babe...my nipples...please...do something..." Stiles moaned thrusting back on Derek' fingers even faster.
Derek shook his head, and leaned forward to kiss his ear, "I want you to come with just my fingers." he whispered.
"Please...Derek...just touch them...please...please...do something." Stiles mumbled arching from the bed.
Derek sighed and thrusted faster, before leaning down and sucking on one of them, hard.
"Babe...fuck...I'm so close...wanna...wanna...cum...Der." Stiles panted and closed his eyes tightly.
"Then cum." Derek whispered with a sharp thrust trying to hit his prostate.
Stiles cried out in pleasure and ached from the bed as he cum.
Derek groaned and kissed him as he pulled his fingers out to milk Stiles through his orgasm.
Stiles moaned in Derek' mouth.
Derek pulled his hand away and pulled away from the kiss.
Stiles panted loudly, still enjoying the pleasure.
Derek kissed his temple, "God, you're beautiful." he whispered.
Stiles chuckled. "Thank you, gorgeous."
Derek rolled his eyes fondly, smiling.
Stiles smirked. "That was intense." he whispered.
Derek shook his head, and kissed his forehead, "Yeah."
"And it's all your fault." Stiles smirked and kissed his cheek.
Derek groaned, "Whatever you say baby." he said kissing him, "I thought you were the one responding to everything."
"Responding to everything? That's not true." Stiles said.
Derek looked at him and raised an eyebrow questioningly.
"It's not...don't look me like that." Stiles mumbled.
Derek frowned, "Like what?" he asked quietly.
"Like I'm really responding to everything. I'm not." Stiles said. "And shut up you have neck fetish so..."
Derek snorted, "Shut up yourself, you've got one too." Derek grumbled showing his neck.
"Like you don't like it." Stiles chuckled.
Derek bit his lip, "I kind of do. Maybe just a little." he mumbled kissing him.
"A little?" Stiles smiled at him and kissed him back.
"Yeah, a little." Derek mumbled against his lips, grinning.
"If you don't like it then I can stop doing it." Stiles teased. "But that will be pity, because I really want to try something." he smirked.
Derek pulled away to look at him, "What could you want to try with my neck?"
"Maybe to see if you can cum only from me messing with it, but you said you don't like it so much so..." Stiles teased, smirking.
Derek raised his eyebrow, "I doubt I can cum with you just messing with my neck, babe." he said shaking his head.
"But I'll lick and kiss and bite and mark and talk." Stiles smiled.
Derek tilted his head, and smirked challenging, "Are you going to try it?"
"I don't know you doubt if I can make you cum like that so..." Stiles teased.
"Wouldn't that be more reason to try it out?" Derek asked grinning at his teasing tone.
"Maybe. But you said you don't like it as much as I through you do so why to try?" Stiles smirked.
Derek bit his lip than let out a loud sigh, "Whatever you want to do Stiles." he said shrugging.
"Whatever I want to do? And what about what you want me to do?" Stiles asked.
"I want you to do whatever you want to do to me." Derek answered.
"It's not all about me, Derek. What you want is just as important as what I want." Stiles whispered.
"I know that, Stiles." Derek answered quietly, "and I know you'll listen to me if I told you I wanted something, like I listen to you when you want something."
"Then tell me what the hell you want." Stiles said, looking at him.
"Why are you mad?" Derek asked frowning.
"I...I don't know...I just wanted to try something...something new which I through you'll like and then you told me to do whatever I want...and...it's sounds like you...don't even care and...I don't know...it's...hurt." Stiles mumbled. "Maybe...that was mistake." he whispered with tears in his eyes.
"No. No tears." Derek said quickly, "I'm sorry I do care. You know I care. Remember this is new, every single thing we do is new. It's literally our first night together. If you want to try something, than I want you to try it. It's your first time doing any of this so I want you to explore and find out what you liked, because I didn't have that. I want to give you a good first night of sex, and if you did or do something I don't like I will tell you that. I've told you what I've liked so far and I'm going to keep telling you what I like and don't like. I trust you enough to let you do whatever you want with me." Derek said looking at him.
"Don't you see, Derek? All we do all night is sex and...and fight for stupid things. I don't mind the sex of course because it's amazing but...how we are supposed to be together if we can't stop fighting. I can't do that...I can't fight with you all the time...because in the end of this you'll hate me...and I can't take it...knowing that you hate me. It would kill me." Stiles whispered, crying.
Derek frowned and shook his head, "Baby, I'm not going to hate you." he said hugging him, "I'll never hate you. And yeah we fight, but that's how we work. We're not going to be like Allison and Scott all lovey dovey or anything like that. We're going to fight, and yell at each other, and we're going to make up, and we're going to still love each other." Derek whispered, "We'll stop and just hang out with each other. We can talk, or watch a movie, or go cook something, just don't think I'll hate you, or that I'll just walk away from you, because I'm going to be here right next to you for as long as you want me to be."
"But I don't want to fight with you...I don't want to hurt you, Derek...and that's what I'm doing...even if you don't hate me..I would hate myself...because I love you so much I can't let anyone to hurt you. I can't let myself hurt you." Stiles said still crying.
"Stiles, for the first two years of knowing each other all we did was fight." he said quietly, "But we worked together, better than any other team in our pack. Yeah you're going to hurt me, and I'm going to hurt you, but you'll make it better. That's how we grow, Stiles, don't hate yourself for hurting me because sometimes people that love each other the most hurt each other. You're my weakness and that's just how things are. Just please don't cry okay, we can try to fight less, and everything, but we're going to have to learn from each other. It's a learning process."
Stiles shook his head and only start to cry harder.
Derek was so confused and worried, he didn't know what to do. He sat up quickly and pulled Stiles onto his lap and hugged him close, "I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry. Please stop crying. Please please please stop crying. I love you, you mean the world to me. I swear if you don't stop crying I'm going to start singing really stupid Disney songs, and you don't want to hear my singing voice. Please babe."
Stiles smiled a little at that still with tears in his eyes. "Maybe that's the reason to continue crying."
Derek shook his head quickly, "No, there is no reason to cry, trust me by the end of it I'll start crying and everything would just get uglier from there."
"No. Don't cry. I don't want to see you sad. I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. I love you. I love you so much." Stiles said, trying to stop crying. "God I'm crying like a girl." he mumbled.
"That's insulting." Derek said shaking his head, and kissed the top of his head, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you cry." he whispered, wiping his tears away with his thumbs.
"I know...it's really not your fault." Stiles whispered and wrapped his hands around Derek' neck.
"It is. I made you feel like that, and I didn't mean to." Derek said hugging him, "I'm so sorry baby."
"It's okay I just...I through what is the right thing to do and...I can't stop myself." Stiles mumbled, hiding his face in Derek' neck.
Derek sighed quietly and held him close, "I love you, no matter what happens." he whispered.
"But the right thing to do is...let you go, Derek." Stiles whispered and pulled away to look him in his eyes.
Derek sighed and looked away, "You want to leave me. Before we even started."
"I didn't say leave I said let you go…for your good. And I didn't say I want to do that." Stiles said.
"You're not making sense." Derek said frowning.
"I said that to let you go is the right thing to do .I didn't say that I want to do it." Stiles whispered.
"Then why are you doing it?" Derek asked pulling away from him, putting some distance, "If you don't want to do..." Then he started thinking about Kate, and Jenifer and how they used him just foe sex than hurt him. Stiles was doing the same thing. He felt something crack in his chest, "Oh." he said quietly before getting off of the bed, and picking up his clothes. "Okay."
"Derek...what are you doing? Where are you going?" Stiles asked, biting his lips trying to stay in control.
"I'm leaving." Derek said shaking his head, "I got the message, Stiles, I understand. I hope you got what you wanted out of this." he said putting his jeans on roughly, not bothering to look at him.
"What I want?" Stiles asked and get off the bed to stand before Derek. "Oh my god you...you think that I want sex...that I used you because I was bored and horny. I told you that I love you...do you hear any lies in that? Do you? Because I wasn't lying! Because I love you with my all heart. I love you like I never loved before. I said that the right thing to do is to let you go because you can find someone better...someone with who you wouldn't fight so much. I never said that I can do that. I'm too selfish to let you go, Derek. I love you too much to let you go. And I know I'll hurt you sometimes and you'll hurt me, but...I let you go that would kill me. Because right now you're...you're the only reason for me to live. You're the best thing in my live...And I can't stop you so...if you want you can go, but know that I love you more than anything." Stiles said looking at Derek, tears running down his cheek.
Derek looked at him and shook his head, "I told you that I don't want someone better that life would be boring if it wasn't you I was fighting with for the rest of my life. I don't even know anymore, Stiles, you said you think it'd be better to leave me because of me, and that doesn't sound right at all. I opened up to you, and I told you that I loved you. I hadn't told anyone that since..." he took a deep breath, "You can't expect me to stick around if the first solution you decide will be to leave me. I don't care if you're just talking about it." he looked away, "I don't trust people, and I hardly open up to them, and you...I'm trusting you with a lot more than you're trusting me right now."
" .I trust you. I trust you with my life. I love you. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I want to make you happy. I'm sorry, Derek. Please please don't leave me. Please. I'm sorry..I can't...please...don't leave me. I need you...I...please." Stiles whispered crying. He looked at Derek' and just dropped to his knees before him crying. "Don't leave me alone again please...I can't take it anymore."
Derek stared at him for moment, "We didn't think this through." he whispered dropping to his knees and cupping Stiles' face, feeling his own eyes sting, "We went too far when we weren't ready, and now..." he sighed looking at Stiles' face, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize...I'm not leaving you alone, I'm not turning away from you, but this...this isn't healthy. We're too deep for something that just started. We need to take a step back and talk. We shouldn't have done...anything until we've talked this through."
"No. Derek. Please. That wasn't mistake. It was perfect. It wasn't...please." Stiles said looking at the floor still crying.
"I never said it was a mistake." Derek said quietly, "Just that we needed to think it through, to talk about us before making an us."
"Talk about us? What about it? We want to be together we can be together..it's simple." Stiles mumbled. "If you still want me of course."
Derek pulled his hands away, "You just proved it isn't that simple. We're both...broken and if we just 'be' it'd end up in disaster. I don't want to hurt you, I never want to make you cry like this again."
"I just want you. Here with me. I want you to be happy. I'm sorry for what I said I didn't mean to hurt you. Can you...can you just hug me please." Stiles asked, his whole body shaking.
Derek looked at him, before reaching out and grabbing his hand, "I'm sorry I made you feel like this." he whispered.
Stiles looked at him with wide eyes. "You...you don't want me anymore, do you? You...didn't hug don't want to touch me anymore." Stiles whispered.
"I never said I didn't want you." Derek said quietly, "I always want you, but...I just want to be careful with you."
"Careful...like I'm crazy or something. I just want you to touch me because I feel...because you're the only person that can make me feel comfort and calm." Stiles whispered and pulled away. He sat on the bed with his knees to his chest and hide his head in his hands. Crying silently.
Derek shuddered at the scent of tears and pain coming off of Stiles. He felt his wolf whine when he pulled away from him. Derek moved to the bed and kneeled before it facing Stiles, "Baby please stop crying, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way, I love you so much and you mean the world to me. I know you're not crazy. I just want to be careful with you because...because everything I've ever loved and touched as been broken." His voice cracked, "and I don't want to break you and I feel like that is exactly what I'm doing."
"You're breaking me right now...staying away from me." Stiles whispered, looking at him.
Derek's heart ached more and he got on the bed moving to hug him.
Stiles whole body was shaking so he just let Derek to hug him.
Derek held him close, burying his nose into Stiles' hair, looking for comfort he wasn't sure he could get.
Stiles hugged Derek' tightly. "I love you. I'm sorry, Derek. That's all my fault. Please forgive me?"
Derek shook his head, "it's both our fault." He whispered, "I love you too."
"Well it's started because of my big mouth...if I was just do what I wanted to...we would be happy right now" Stiles mumbled.
"You don't know that." Derek disagreed, "we got what we needed said. How about we take a shower and go make something to eat, than take a nap? Because I'm exhausted."
"I...okay." Stiles whispered.
"You what?" Derek whispered back.
"No nothing. Let's...let's go." Stiles mumbled.
Derek didn't move, "what is it?"
"Just drop it..You wouldn't understand it...you will think that something is wrong with me and...you wouldn't want it so...just forget it." Stiles said, looking at him. "Come on you wanted a shower let's go."
"I want to understand." Derek persisted, "you told me what I wanted just as much as you what you do."
"I...Probably something is really wrong with me but...I need touch to…to be sure that everything between us is okay. I need prove that you still want me...that I still can make you feel good. I want to...to try this thing with your neck and...I'm sorry. I'm freak...let's go to shower." Stiles mumbled and get off the bed, looking at Derek.
Derek frowned and kissed his temple, "We're okay." Derek whispered, "You don't have to prove anything. I swear, I still want you."
"But you don't want me to try...of course...I...come on...go to take a shower. I'll make something to eat." Stiles whispered.
"We just had a huge…" he sighed, "Babe I don't want you to feel like I stopped /wanting/ you. I don't want you to feel like that. I-I just don't know if..."
"If you can let me touch you like this right now? If you even can get hard? If I don't disgust you? Go take a shower. I'll be downstairs." Stiles mumbled, looking for his jeans.
Derek kissed him, "I'm sorry." he whispered, getting up from the bed, "You don't disgust me, I swear."
Stiles looked at him, sadly. "But you don't know if you can get turn on or let me touch you." Stiles whispered and pulled away from Derek to get sweatpants from his wardrobe and put it on. "What do you want to eat?" he asked quietly.
Derek looked at him sadly and shook his head, "I can, and I want you to, but...not right now." Derek mumbled, and looked away, "I don't want anything to eat." he whispered.
"I don't want anything too." he mumbled. Stiles go to the window looking at the street with his back to Derek. He bite his lips to try to stop the painful noise what wanted to get out.
Derek looked away from him, knowing that everything was ruined. "I-I'm so sorry, Stiles." Derek whispered his voice cracking, "I wish I could be what you need right now." he wanted to reach out to him, to hold him, but...
"But you can't let me have you." Stiles whispered.
"Would that help?" he asked quietly, feeling his chest clutch "If you took me?"
"Go to shower, Derek you wanted to do it for an hour or so. I'll be fine." Stiles whispered.
Derek flinched, "I don't believe you. I need you to talk to me. Tell me what you need me to do to make this better."
"Don't do anything because you think I want it...I told you that already. Do whatever you want. I'll...I'll be...fine I guess." Stiles whispered hugging himself.
"You're not fine, and I want to do what you need, Stiles." Derek said quietly, "I want to make you happy again." not daring to move to him.
"You can't make me happy doing something you don't want. I told you what I need already...you don't want it. End of the story. Go to take the shower. I...I'll do...I don't know what." Stiles said turning to look at Derek.
Derek remembered this feeling and looked at him, shaking a bit. "If you need that than do it." he whispered, eyes stinging "Because I don't want to leave you like this. Even if it is just for a shower. I don't want you angry at me."
"I'm not angry." Stiles whispered stepping closer to Derek. "And I can't do it like this...I don't want to do it like this if you don't want. I'll be fine...just give me a minute and I'll be. Go and enjoy your shower I'll just wait for you."
Derek looked down to his lap, feeling like he screwed up majorly. He stood up and walked to the restroom, not bothering to say anything. He felt his entire body shaking up.
Stiles looked after Derek sadly. He sighed and sat on the bed, trying to stay calm. Trying to don't cry, because he knows Derek don't like it and all he ever wanted was to make Derek happy.
Derek stood in the bathroom, and fell to the floor, feeling his chest aching more than it had in a long time. He buried his face into his knees and just sat there. He knew Stiles wasn't happy what so ever but he knew that if he did what Stiles wanted he couldn't give him. He knew he wouldn't be able to please Stiles' in what he needed.
"Derek are you okay? You're there for a long time...I understand if you don't want to look at me right now but I'm...worried." Stiles said from the bed, knowing that Derek will hear him.
Derek sighed and got out not bothering to shower. He walked to him and gave him a determine look. He leaned to him and gave him a quick kiss, "I love you." he whispered.
"I love you too. But are you alright?" Stiles whispered back looking at Derek.
"I'm fine." Derek answered kissing his cheek, climbing over the bed and onto him, "I'm good, and I want you to be good."
"I'm fine. Don't worry. I'm sorry." Stiles whispered.
Derek shook his head, "I'm going to worry." he mumbled running his hand over Stiles' arm.
Stiles nodded and smiled at Derek a little.
"I'm sorry I haven't been able to make you happy the way you need." Derek whispered, kissing his ear, "Forgive me?"
"You don't have to be sorry Derek. It's okay.." Stiles whispered.
Derek nodded and kissed the back of his ear, "Are you sure?" he whispered.
"Yeah...you don't have to do something you don't want...I just wanted to...to know that I can still make you feel good, but I'll be fine." Stiles said, ruffling Derek' hair.
Derek sat back onto Stiles' lap and sighed, "You can make me feel good." he whispered wrapping his arms around his neck, "I swear you can."
Stiles nodded "Okay." he whispered.
Derek sighed, "I love you, and want to you to reassure you that you can make me feel good, I swear after we both sleep a bit, you can try what you wanted." he whispered.
"Okay go to sleep. I'm not tired." Stiles said.
"I'm not going to sleep. I'm saying after we go to sleep. I'm not tired either." Derek said.
"Okay. I...I understand." Stiles whispered.
Derek sighed and kissed his neck, "I'm sorry, baby." he whispered.
Stiles pulled away from the touch. "Don't do that please. And I know you're sorry. I'm sorry too."
Derek sighed and nodded, looking down.
"I'm sorry. Just...I already feel...if you continue doing it I'll forget...I'll let myself to enjoy it...and you'll have to stop me because you don't want me to do anything right now and... and then I'll just feel terrible..." Stiles whispered.
"I understand." Derek whispered, and looked at him, "Thank you."
Stiles nodded and kissed Derek' neck quickly "For you always. You know I'll make everything for you." he whispered.
Derek got off of him slowly, and grabbed his hand once he sat next to him on the bed.
"What?" Stiles looked at him with worry.
"Nothing." Derek whispered shaking his head, "You're right and if I stayed on you I'd push until you do something, than you'll feel bad."
"Push? I through you don't want me to do anything, Derek? And I'll feel bad if I try to do something and you push me away." Stiles said looking at Derek.
Derek sighed and leaned against the head board, "I don't want you to do anything, because it wouldn't feel right but I want you to feel better." he took a deep breath, "That's why I got off of you."
"Just tell me. Do you want me to do something? Not because you think I need it or it'll make me feel better. Just because you want it. Not me...you." Stiles asked.
"No." Derek answered, "I don't want you to do anything. I want to you to wait until the morning, when we're calm and centered."
"Okay. I wouldn't touch you." Stiles said and go to sit in his computer chair, openning his laptop.
Derek sighed and moved to lay down on his back staring at the ceiling.
Stiles just sat there staring at the laptop.
Derek sighed, not moving at all.
"I can't believe you. You almost let me do something you don't want to make me feel better." Stiles mumbled, still looking at the laptop.
Derek didn't turned to him, "I want to make you feel better, and you told me the only way to feel better is to do what you wanted to me." he mumbled feeling ashamed.
"Yeah and did you through how that will make me feel after that? When I understand that it was fake? That the thing that makes me better don't make you even good. I understand that you want to make me happy but do you think that doing that will make me feel better? I through we...that we made...love...but it's look like it was just fucking." Stiles almost yelled getting up from the chair.
Derek sat up quickly and turned to face him, "Every single thing we did tonight up to the point of this fight was love. We made love we didn't fuck." he spat the word, "I knew you weren't going to let it get to that point Stiles! I knew I could trust you with my body even when I was giving it so willing to you! Every reaction you got from me was real, and how I felt. Do you understand that? Nothing I will ever do to you or for you is fake. I'm not like those people that have used me like that."
"But you let yourself to me...to use you. Yes your body maybe would enjoy that but you wouldn't. And that called use. And you'll let me do it just to be happy." Stiles whispered.
Derek looked at him, "I'm sorry." he said quietly, "I would do anything to make you happy. I wanted to reassure you that you could still make me feel that way. That you could still get me hard, and make me feel that way. You thought I thought you were disgusting and that I wouldn't want you anymore, and that thought never once crossed my mind. You're beautiful and wonderful and so amazing and I can't even imagine a time where I wouldn't want you."
"So what you wouldn't feel bad ifyou let me do whatever I want?" Stiles asked and crossed his hands over his chest.
"Before I wouldn't have, because I was proving to you something. Now I see your view on it and see what was wrong with that plan." Derek answered.
Stiles nodded and sat at the end of the bed. "I know I shouldn't told you about that."
"Shouldn't have told me?" Derek asked frowning.
"That after everything that happened...after this stupid fight I want you...need you. It was a fucking mistake." Stiles mumbled.
"This fight was a mistake?" Derek asked frowning and looking at him.
"I was talking about that I told you that I still want you even after the fight but...yeah wasn't it? Because if we wasn't fight now we'd be happy. And probably already sleeping tired of all the things we did of pleasure. So I don't know was it this fight a mistake?" Stiles mumbled.
"I don't think this fight was a mistake." Derek said shaking his head, "I think we've talked about it. We can still be happy and everything, we've just had to talk through everything that's happened...when you told me you still wanted me I figured it was your way of saying, "We'll fix it this way' type of thing. I- I don't know. Can we get passed this and learn from it?" he asked quietly.
"Okay. Can you...just hold me? I'm...not good and I just need you." Stiles whispered.
Derek nodded and opened his arms for him, "Okay. I need to hold you, also." he mumbled.
Stiles smiled and got on the bed on Derek' lap. He wrapped his hands around Derek' waist and hide his face in his neck.
Derek wrapped his arms around Stiles' back and buried his nose into his hair.
"I'm sorry." Stiles whispered.
Derek shh'd him, "No more apologizes, we move on from there." he whispered into his hair.
"Okay." Stiles whispered back. "Just...I want you to know that I love you. I'll always love you no matter what. I'll always be there for you. Even when I'm mad or angry or sad...even if I'm telling you that I hate you or want you to leave...you should know that that's isn't true. I'll always love you and want you here with me. You're the only one. There'll be no one else for me...just you. You are the only person that can make me feel alive...whole. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I never meant to because everything I want to do is make you happy. Because when you're happy..I'm happy too. When you smile and I know it's because of me...it's makes me feel useful and loved. So...I love you babe." Stiles said looking at Derek' eyes.
Derek looked at him and nodded at him, "I love you too, Stiles, and don't want you to feel the way you felt today ever again. I love you and will always want you to be happy." he whispered not looking away from him.