Sokka convinces the group to go see The Boy in the Iceberg. She's very excited when they agree.
The curtain rises to reveal a set that is supposed to look like the South Pole seas. Katara's actress is an older, more robust woman, and Sokka's actress… Well Sokka's actress is a sight to behold. Her outfit is tight and very revealing. Sokka can't help but think that if she wore something like that she would freeze in the South Pole. There is a very deep collar that shows off her very ample cleavage, and a skirt with two big slits up their sides, showing off the actresses long bare legs.
Katara's actress sighs. "Sokka, my only sister! We constantly roam these icy South Pole seas, yet never do we find anything fulfilling!"
"All I want is a man!" The Actress playing Sokka says. "I'm desperate!"
The audience laughs and Sokka cringes. She already regrets her decision to come to the play.
"Is a man the only thing on your mind?" Katara's actress says with a frown.
"Well, I'm not too picky." Sokka's actress says, leaning over the boat, putting even more of her cleavage on display. "I'll take anyone at this point."
"I can't believe this!" Sokka says leaning towards Katara. "This might be the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me."
"I'm sure much more embarrassing things will happen." Toph says with a nasty grin.
The actress playing Katara is now standing up in the canoe. "Everyday, the world awaits a beacon to guide us, yet none appears. Still, we cannot give up hope! For hope", the woman says, starting to cry. "is all we have! And we must never relinquish it, even… even to our dying breathe!" A light starts to glow on stage. Both actresses stand in the canoe. "It appears to be someone frozen in ice, perhaps for a hundred years."
"But who?" Sokka's actress says and she pulls herself up onto the iceberg in a weirdly provocative way. "Who is the boy in the iceberg?"
"Waterbend! Hi-yah!" yells Katara's actress and then Aang's actress appears and for a few moments Sokka can enjoy that rather than fretting over her own actress. "Who are you, frozen boy?" asks Katara's actress.
The actress laughs in a very high-pitched voice. "I'm the Avatar, silly, here to spread joy and fun!"
"An airbender!" cries Katara's actress. "My heart is so full of hope," She drops to one knee, "that it's making me tear bend." The actress grab's Aang's actress's leg and sobs dramatically.
"What're you, like 12?" Sokka's actress says looking at Aang. "Too young for me." She says with a sigh.
"Actually I'm 112!" Aang's actress says cheerfully.
"They you're too old." Sokka's actress says with a sigh. The audience laughs and Sokka drops her head in her lap.
Sokka has to admit that Katara's pretty right about the guy playing Zuko reminding her of what Zuko used to seem like. But once again she's left to feel embarrassed by the way they portray her at Kyoshi Island- uninterested in the warriors since they aren't the men her character's apparently so desperately looking for.
"You know, if you tried smiling, I think you'd be pretty cute." says Sokka's actress. She currently tied to a tree while Zuko's actor stands in front of her with his arms crossed. "You know if you untied me, I'd probably stay. It's been forever since I've been around a guy my age."
"I don't have time for flirting!" says Zuko's actor. "I have to regain my honor!" Zuko and Sokka both avoid looking at each other.
Sokka thought that part was bad, but it gets worse. She watches her actress and Jet's actor get lowered on a small rope platform. A large blue banner pulled by a stagehand crosses the stage.
"I wiped out that nasty town just for you Sokka." Jet's actor says grabbing Sokka's actress by the waist and pulling her close.
Sokka's actress just about crawls on top of him. "Oh Jet, you're so bad." They kiss as the prop is lifted back up.
Sokka wants to disappear. Toph laughs.
It gets worse when they get around to the Northern Water Tribe parts. Actress Sokka and Actress Yue stand in front of a Northern Water Tribe background.
"You know, I've been with a lot of guys since this journey started, but Yue, you're so pretty I think I want to be with you too." Sokka's actress pauses. "Wanna make out?"
"I don't like you like that Sokka." Yue's actress says. "Now, I have to go. I have important moon duties to take care of!" She exits on a moon prop.
"Well if you can be with her, be her." Sokka's actress says before pulling out a hair clip with a streak of white hair clipped to it and pinning it in her hair.
Suki laughs. "So that was the infamous Princess Yue?"
"It didn't happen like that." Sokka grumbled, crossing her arms.
Actress Aang prances around in a Koi costume and then it's finally intermission.
The group finds a place to sit during intermission. "So far, this intermission is the best part of this play." Zuko says.
"Well I'm sorry I made the mistake of wanting to come here." Sokka says with a big frown. "Apparently, the playwright thinks I'm just a person who goes around kissing people."
"I thought you did kiss Princess Yue." Suki says.
"And I know you kissed Jet." Toph adds.
Sokka huffs upset at both girls. "Okay! Fine! Maybe!" She says angrily. "But I don't dress like that!"
"At least the Sokka actress kind of looks like you." Aang says angrily. "That woman playing the Avatar doesn't resemble me at all!"
"I don't know, you are more in touch with your feminine side than most guys." Toph says.
Aang stands up irritated and groans. Katara tries to calm everyone down by pointing out that the portrayals aren't accurate, but Aang and Toph both shoot her down.
Toph seems to be the only person happy with her portrayal. Things are pretty okay to watch from then on, until Jet shows up again. Jet's character is brainwashed and then hides underneath a rock, but it's Sokka's actress's reaction that really irks Sokka.
"Come back!" The actress wails. "I only got to kiss you once!"
Soon it shifts to the Crystal Catacombs.
"I have to admit Prince Zuko, I really find you attractive." Sokka's actress says, nearly on Zuko's actor's lap.
"You don't have to make fun of me!" Zuko actor says with a frown.
"But I mean in!" Sokka's actress puts her hand on Zuko's thigh. "I've had eyes for you since the day you first captured me!"
Sokka tries to look every which way but at Zuko. She hears Suki gasp and she looks up to see that Actress Sokka and Actor Zuko are both very passionately making out. Sokka stands then and storms out into the lobby.
The rest of the group comes out during intermission. Sokka can hear Suki talking about the team losing a lot, and then Katara makes a comment about Suki getting captured by Azula. Sokka breaks into the conversation because she doesn't want it to turn into a fight.
"I hate this play!" She says angrily.
"I know it's upsetting, but it sounds like you're overreacting." Katara says making Sokka feel immature.
"I'm not overreacting. All of you know I'm nothing like that!" Sokka grumbles.
"What I didn't know was that you kissed Zuko." Toph says with a smirk.
"I didn't kiss Zuko! That's not what happened in there." Sokka whips her head towards Zuko. "Tell them!"
"Yeah, all she did was touch my face." Zuko says quickly.
"We don't need to hear all the dirty details." Toph says still grinning.
"Ugh!" Sokka groans. "You know what?" Sokka turns on her heel. "I'm gonna go give that actress a piece of my mind." Sokka storms off before they can stop her.
Sokka jumps out in front of the actress playing her. "Can I help you?" The actress says.
"Yes, please." Sokka says with a little glare. "I'm a pretty big fan, and I can't believe you're playing Sokka like that!"
"Aww…" The actress coos. "I have a fan? That's so awesome. Do you want an autograph?"
"I.. uh… Sure?" Sokka holds her poster out to get signed. "I just mean, why would you play a character that just kisses everybody? Or more accurately, why would a character like that exist?"
"Woah, woah, wait." Her actress says. "There's so much more to my character than that! Like sure, she's kissing everybody, but think about it." The actress finishes signing the poster and hands it back to Sokka. "She's a teenager. And she has to go off and travel with the Avatar. And she comes from some tiny little village. Of course she's gonna want to kiss people. And be with people. Like there's nothing wrong with it. It's what normal teenagers do. I mean, maybe she wants some sense of normalcy in what seems like a pretty stressful life." Sokka just stares at her in shock. "Well, anyway, I gotta go! The last act starts soon!" The actress runs off and Sokka just wanders back to her seat, still pretty shocked.
The actors playing them go to the Fire Nation, the actress playing Aang doesn't die, Katara's actress plays the Painted Lady and cries more, Sokka's actress gets a sword and doesn't flirt with Piando which soothes Sokka a bit, and the Invasion starts.
Katara's actress says she loves Aang like a brother, and Actress Aang is fine with that, but if the way Aang tenses is anything to go by, the real Aang is not.
They make it to the Royal Palace, but like what happened in real life, no one is home.
Actor Zuko enters. "Actually, I'm home, and I want to join you."
Actress Sokka drops her boomerang and leaps into his arms. "I was hoping you would say that." She says giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"Well that was terrible." Sokka says standing up, "and thankfully that's it. The play's all caught up to the present now."
"Oh?" Suki says lifting an eyebrow. "Ae you going to jump into Zuko's arms and give him a kiss?" Sokka shakes her head furiously. "Well then sit back down, the play's not over."
Sokka sits. "But it is over, unless…" Sokka pauses for dramatic affect. "this is the future."
The future that plays out on stage is not a good one. Azula kills Zuko and Ozai kills Aang.
The group walks back to their lodgings. Katara and Aang walk further behind the group talking about something.
"That wasn't a good play." Zuko says.
"It was horrible." Suki says.
"You said it." Toph agrees.
"I dunno, I thought my actress was pretty good." Sokka admits. The other three look at her like she's crazy.
"I just said I was confused!" She hears her sister yell before Katara speeds up to catch up to the rest of the group. Sokka thinks she can hear Aang saying that he's an idiot, and Sokka wants to find out the rest of the details so she can figure out if she agrees with him or not.
But there's time for that later.