Okami-san and Jared and The Striptease Escape Plan
"For heeee's a JOLLY GOOD FELLL-OOOOWW, for he's a JOLLY GOOD FELL-LOOW, FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW WHICH NO ONE CAN FRIGGIN' DENY!"
The sound of somebody who is really drunk—and I mean, really drunk—blasts me from my feverish dreams. The door of my bedroom opens wide.
Jared stumbles into my room. A few of his fellow kitchen boys stand outside in the hall. They're still singing, only now it's 'Happy Birthday'.
"'Ey! Youuuuuu. Yer missin' din-err." A half empty bottle of booze is in his hand.
"It's Johnny-boy's birrrffday, an' you can't even show up, at his friggin—" He burps.
"-party."
I roll my eyes.
"Carol-san wasn't kidding about you getting drunk off your ass."
He chuckles. "We're all drunk, Princess. Er, Sweetie… Sweetheart…somethin' like that, hellifiknow."
I laugh, and try to sit up. A bout of nausea hits me.
"Jared, go away. I'm sick."
"No, c'mooon. I made a bet with Carol! If you don't come, I gotta do a strip tease for everybody. Don't make me do it!" he whines.
"It's your own fault for getting so wasted! And out of order."
"I'm not out of order. You're out of order. The whole, damn system is out of order!"
"Yeah, yeah."
"Pleeeeeeaase, pretty please Sweetheart I am begging youuuu!"
I frown at him.
"No."
"Booooooo. Boo, Sweetheart." Jared whines. He turns and yells down the hall, "Everybody! Boo on Sweetheart!"
I am unanimously booed.
Fed up, I struggle out of bed and shove his chest lightly. Normally he wouldn't even lean away from the weak push, but his balance is so bad, it does all the work for me.
"Hey, wait a minute! Sweeeetheeeaart! I don't want 'em to see my Spiderman boxers!" He howls at the door. I close it in his face.