Chapter 16

Click, click, click… The sound of her heels against the wooden floor was all she focused on. Things hadn't changed much since the last time she'd been inside of the house. It had the same tint to it, as well as the sound it made once you got about halfway into the first room.

She heard the copious amounts of laughter and the individual conversations flooding from the next room. She wanted to join them. It'd help her feel a little more at home, she guessed. However, her heels made no more clicks against the wooden floor in that direction.

Instead, she turned to off-limited territory. She only assumed this, seeing as though no one stood within the vicinity of the living room. She'd take the blame if caught snooping. Half of her pride had already been stolen from her moments before. What did she have to lose?

The space seemed the same to her. She couldn't really tell the difference if it had changed. Her memory only served her poorly of this area in the house. The only indications of change to her were the various picture frames above the fireplace and around the television set.

Placing her hands in the black cardigan covering her dress, she walked forward to get a closer look. Starting from the left, she took the first frame in her hands. As she examined a recent family Christmas photo, the warmth of the fire blazing in front of her radiated onto her bare knees.

She ran a gentle hand over the glass frame as she took in all three of their smiles. A rather large and lit tree stood behind them, setting the perfect mood to the holiday photo. Placing it back in its rightful place, she moved onto the next one.

This one was of the family in their earlier years. Finn looked about eight, sitting in an orderly pose. She smiled to herself as the little brunette looked up to the camera. He looked so happy here; a face very foreign to the one she'd just witnessed.

The next picture was one she actually remembered seeing. A young Carole smiled down at her from where she was standing. Even to this day, Rachel thought she was one of the prettiest women she'd ever seen. The dark brown color of her eyes warmed anyone looking at the photo, as the long blonde locks fell down her perfectly shaped shoulders. She smiled a smile that was assuring. Rachel wished she'd have gotten the chance to meet her.

After that, there was an array of photos. There was one of Quinn and Sam from their engagement announcement in the paper, one of Christopher and Carole on their wedding day. Two more pictures stood of Finn at both graduations; high school and college. He posed in both with a huge white smile on his face, holding up his diplomas. She chuckled to herself, feeling the sense of proudness build up in her chest.

The last picture that she came across seemed to have been taken not too long after she'd left. He seemed to look more like himself in this picture. No signs of weight loss were present and that big goofy smile that she loved so much shined through. It looked different, however. As all of their smiles were happy and genuine, his seemed forced and not convincing. His eyes also seemed bloodshot; like he'd stayed up the night before. He didn't even show any teeth like the others did.

Disney World? It appeared that that was where this photograph had been taken. Shelby, James, Christopher, Quinn, Sam, and Finn stood next to Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

"Now, that was a good time," the familiar voice rang through her ears. She jumped to put the picture back in its place. Collecting herself, she turned around to face the person. The blonde walked toward her in an orderly fashion, one foot in front of the other. With relief, Rachel smiled.

"You scared me," Rachel admitted. "I heard footsteps and I thought you were…" She trailed off to avoid the point she was involuntarily insinuating. However, Quinn caught on.

"Yeah, that was pretty bad back there…" she whispered, standing next to Rachel.

"Well," Rachel shrugged her shoulders. "I wasn't exactly expecting to walk into a white wedding or anything like that."

"Come take a walk with me in the garden out back," Quinn instructed her, checking the surroundings. In the background, the crowd conversed on in the kitchen. And by the looks of things, Finn, Sam, and the others were still greeting guests into the home.

Rachel could only bring herself to nod. She never remembered the Hudson's having a garden in the back of their house. But, as she thought when Finn crushed every hope she had of their reconciliation moments ago on the front porch, four years was a very long time.

She couldn't help but gasp at the amazement of their surroundings. The garden was absolutely beautiful. With a bunch of flowers and trails, Rachel knew that she could spend every waking moment here if allowed. Then, her focus was interrupted when Quinn spoke.

"With Grace and all of the other ladies in the house, we were at high risk of eavesdropping. Plus, if Finn or Shelby walked in, it would've been really awkward. But, we should be good out here."

"It's breath-taking out here. I don't think I've ever seen it before," Rachel admitted as their heels clicked in unison against the concrete.

"Christopher had it built for Carole about two years ago," Quinn informed her. "He came out here a lot in his final moments."

"I can't believe he's really gone," Rachel said, feeling the tears build up in her eyes. She swallowed and tried to brush the feeling off.

"Tell me about it," Quinn took the time to wipe her own eyes. "That's why I brought you out here."

"What do you mean?" Rachel wondered.

"You can't be mad at Finn for lashing out at you like that." Quinn told her. "He's falling apart, Rachel. He's holding it all together for the sake of Sam, we can all see that. But, he's withering away doing it. He's given up on himself and is getting worse by the day. I don't even think I've seen him show any true emotion since you left."

Rachel felt like she had been punched in the stomach with the revelation of this news. It was everything that she was terrified of, the night before she walked away. Her heart broke just looking at him this morning in the church. Now, knowing all of the things that she did, her heart was no longer in her chest.

She hardly even realized her heavy breathing and pounding heart until she turned back to face the blonde. Her mind couldn't process, but when it did, she spoke exactly what she was thinking.

"I can't go back," she admitted. "To New York… I can't go back. I need to fix it."

"Rachel, he's not some broken toy."

"I know he's not, Quinn. But he's hurting and I caused that. I know it's extremely selfish of me to just walk away and come back and assume that all of his problems revolve around me. But, I know that I caused some of this, Quinn. He gave me his heart that night, and I basically stomped it into the dirt."

She could've stopped breathing when the thought popped into her mind just then. Don't get her wrong, the thought always recurred in her mind in New York. But, she was never willing to admit to it like she was now.

"What is it?" Quinn asked, knowing something was up.

"I messed up," Rachel admitted. "Running, New York, it was all… a mistake."

"Rachel, don't say that. You left for your dreams. You stood up for yourself." The blonde argued.

"But in doing so, I hurt him. So, what does that say about me?"

"What are you going to do?" Quinn asked.

Rachel shook her head, trying to find the right words. Before she could, the blonde she'd seen from before bounced around the bushes in her tall black heels, greeting the two.

"There you are, Quinn. I swear you vanished so quickly, leaving me to fend for myself against Shelby. You know how scary she is." Rachel almost jumped back at the thickness of the southern accent in the air. If she didn't know better, she'd swear she was watching some amateur Hollywood western film. Quinn reluctantly laughed, scratching her arm and looking to her shoes. Then, the girl noticed Rachel standing in the middle of them.

"Uh hi," she politely greeted, nervously flashing her big white smile in the stranger's direction. "I don't think we've met before; I'm Haley."

"Rachel," she offered in return.

Now looking at her, Rachel noticed a lot of what she hadn't before. Maybe it was the distance? She didn't know. All she knew was that this girl was beautiful and easily intimidating. Her long blonde hair and hazel eyes captured you the moment they gained your attention. Rachel knew that she probably had no problem fitting in around here.

She assumed that she was new to town. In the years she'd been here, she'd never come across her. They looked about the same age, making it a possibility that they would've passed in the school's hallways if she was from here. However, the accent was the big indicator. She had to be from the south.

When she took the girl's hand, she watched her face light up.

"Oh my gosh," she exclaimed, looking to Quinn and then back to her. "No way!"

"What's going on?" Rachel asked, looking to Quinn for reasoning.

"I'm so sorry," she excused her behavior. "Please don't mind my fangirling. It's just that you're kind of like a celebrity in this town. It's really nice to finally meet you, Rachel."

"It's nice to meet you too," Rachel replied awkwardly, seeing as though a minute had passed and she hadn't let go of her hand yet. Must be a taste of that southern hospitality, Rachel thought.

"Haley!" A random person called from across the yard. An older woman appeared from around the corner with a glass of champagne in her hand. "I'm so glad I could catch you before we leave."

"I'm sorry to cut this short, you guys," she said with a slight chuckle. She finally dropped Rachel's hand. "Trust me, being the fiancé of a mayor in this town is not as easy as it looks."

"Tell me about it," Rachel snickered absent-mindedly. Then, she took a moment to really think about the blonde's words. She caught on just in time to catch a glimpse of the rock on the girl's left hand as she walked in the opposite direction. It wasn't the small ring that he'd presented to her all of those years ago, which made her feel a bit of relief. But, still, her gut churned.

If it wasn't for Quinn standing on the side of her, she would've hit the concrete, no questions asked. However, when her knees turned to jelly, Quinn quickly reached forward and held her up.

"Quinn, w-w-what the fu-" before she could exclaim any louder, the blonde held her hand over Rachel's mouth.

"I was going to tell you," the girl looked to the ground as she revealed the secret that everyone around her seemed to be keeping.

"So that's it? He's getting married?" Rachel asked with a staggered voice. Her mind was doing somersaults as well as her stomach. "How is he getting married? I don't understand."

"Christopher arranged it a while ago. Apparently her dad owns a lot of restaurants in the south or something."

"So, she's basically my replacement?" Rachel crossed her arms.

"Finn refers to her as the step-in," Quinn informed her.

"Does he love her?" It seemed as if her whole existence depended on the next word that would leave Quinn's mouth. She didn't speak, however. She just sighed.

"Haley's a really nice girl, Rachel." Quinn changed the subject. "Any other girl and I'd be willing to claw their eyes out for you, but she's different. You'd really like her."

"Then, I have a question. If she knew about me, why did she just blurt out that she was his fiancée like that to my face?"

"That's my fault, really. She thought you knew about her." Quinn admitted. "She was afraid of how you would react if you found out. She didn't want you to hate her. So, she asked me to tell you. I completely forgot; I'm so sorry."

Rachel remained silent. Instead, she took in that gut-wrenching feeling when things weren't going your way and there was nothing that you could do about it. Her throat began to sting as she held back all of the screaming the 6-year-old version of her convinced was appropriate in this moment. That's when she couldn't see straight anymore. Her head was burning temperatures exceeding a tea-pot and the tears behind her eyes could fill up the ocean.

"Can you tell me what you're thinking, Rachel?" Quinn asked as if she was walking on eggshells. "This is my fault. I'm so sorry."

"I love him, Quinn. And, nothing that you say about that girl is going to change that." Rachel blurted out. "I just really want you to support me, you know?" "You may have grown close to her in these past few years being engaged to Sam, but we've known each other since kindergarten."

"Of course I'll support you, Rachel." Quinn assured her. "You're my best friend, if you'll still have me… I made a mistake a long time ago and I'm not going to make it again." "Haley is my friend and we're close and all, but if my best friend is in love with her fiancé, I'm going to help my best friend steal her fiancé back."

Rachel smiled, walking forward to hug the blonde. "Of course I'll still have you. I love you, Q."

"I love you too, Rach." They stayed like this for a few moments until they pulled out of the embrace and faced each other again.

"There you are," a male voice called out. Turning her head, Rachel took in Sam slowly walking in their direction. When he got to Quinn, she watched as they wrapped their arms around each other. When Sam rested his head on Quinn's shoulder, Rachel became envious of their affection.

She could instantly hint at his distress. He confirmed her ideas when he spoke. "It's just too much for me, B. All these people are here and I just want to lock myself in a closet and cry my eyes out. And then he's standing there acting like nothing happened and he's just smiling away and talking to all the people. Finn's going to drive me off the edge, Quinn." He sighed. Rachel watched as her friend ran her hand over Sam's short blonde hair to sooth him.

"He's just trying his best to cope, Sam." She assured him. "We all are. There are just plenty of different ways to do it. Plus, he's the mayor. He has to be like that in a time like this."

"That doesn't make it okay, Quinn." He sighed, standing up straight. He instantly collected himself when he noticed Rachel's presence. She looked to the ground when she caught his eyes. She could see the discomfort in his face. However, she smiled politely and offered him all of the understanding that she could.

"Hey Rachel," he greeted.

"Hey," she replied. "Sam, I'm really sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," he replied. And, with his reservation Rachel knew that he wasn't happy with her for what she did to his brother.

"I can't handle all of these people anymore," Sam told her friend. "Can we please just go home?"

"Yeah, let me just grab my coat from inside." She said, grabbing his hand. She stopped suddenly, and turned back to face her. "Rachel, you're going to be okay if I leave, right?"

"Yeah, of course," Rachel smiled. "You guys have a good night. I think I'm going to head out too."

"Hey, where are you staying?" Quinn wondered.

"Mrs. Chamberlain's B and B." Rachel answered.

"That could get really expensive. Just, let me know if you need somewhere else, okay?"

"Okay," Rachel smiled with appreciation.

As she watched them walk away, she was glad that Quinn had taken her advice after-all. They seemed like the perfect couple.

She didn't realize that they'd been out there in that garden for as long as they had. It was when she stepped back into the house that the realization really kicked in.

It was pretty much empty, with a few clusters of people here and there. These people were closer to the front door, walking out or saying last minute good-byes.

With that being said, the darkness of the clouds outside made the kitchen appear empty when she stepped into it. Then, she heard the moving of what seemed to be a fork. Turning to the side, she caught sight of him.

All alone at the kitchen counter, he was eating what appeared to be fragments of the food laid out in front of him. She found it hard to believe that he didn't realize her presence with the heels against the wooden floor. However, if he did, he was doing a brilliant job of ignoring her. He remained at the counter, focusing on the plate in front of him.

A part of herself told her that this was truly not a good time. He was probably enjoying the silence after a long day of "I'm sorry for your loss" and "he will be missed", or "he was a good man". She could only tell you from experience about the weight that words like that probably placed on his chest. It felt like hell for her the night of her father's funeral. However, this was the first time they'd been alone in years. She couldn't help but think that if she didn't take the chance now, she'd be nothing more than a coward.

Maybe a part of her was scared- she only assumed this because her heart was beating out of her chest and she was shaking enough to cause an earthquake. At the same time, she just didn't give a damn. She knew it'd be better to go down putting up an effort than doing nothing about her feelings.

Her feelings, she thought. She cringed in horror, thinking about the past four years she'd spent in New York alone. She didn't want to feel that way anymore. And, if this was what it took to clear everything up, she'd gain a pair and walk straight up to him. So, that's what she did. Well, sort of…

Reaching in front of him, she grabbed a plate and began filling it with food as slowly as she possibly could. This definitely caught his attention. Placing his fork down, he picked up the crystal glass of what appeared to be liquor and took a few sips. Good combination, she thought. However, she didn't blame him. Today, anything went.

Intimidation took over her when he watched her closely. When the last corner of her plate was filled, she looked up to catch his eye.

"Do you mind if I sit?" She felt like there was a concert going on in her chest.

"I can't physically stop you, now can I?" Sarcasm; at least he was showing some kind of emotion.

"Thank you," she said, climbing up on the stool next to his. As she dug into the food she wasn't even hungry for, she looked at him with the corner of her eye. He'd resumed to filling his own stomach.

"What happened to your face?" Rachel blurted out, causing him to stop and turn in her direction. She knew his agitation was rising. He looked at her with pure disbelief; like she was entirely brave for asking a question like that. She didn't think she was. It was just the first casual thing that could come to her. If she tried to speak about what was on her mind earlier, she knew he'd already be out of the room.

Although she didn't like it one bit, avoiding seemed to be his thing at the moment. She'd spotted the wall the first time she'd seen him today and she knew that it would be near impossible to break through; if at all. And she was only at step one… There was a long ways to go.

"What, you don't like it?" She knew sarcasm was his number one go-to when he was upset. She'd known this from the moment they'd first met. She sighed, realizing that the earlier version of Finn was making a comeback. "I call it love." He said, rising from his sitting position.

"What's that mean?" she asked, standing up with him. He only looked down at her as if she were the devil. She could honestly say that, even when they were fighting in the beginning of their relationship, she'd never gotten this look before.

"This, Rachel Berry, is a model of what you did to my heart." He chuckled nonchalantly, moving toward the sink. "You know, just a little less graphic and brutal. I couldn't get the guy to beat me that hard." He spat, tossing the dishes at the sink. He split the scene just after the plate and the crystal cup shattered against the side and onto the floor.

Placing her head in her hands, she rubbed her eyes and sighed. Then, she moved to discard of her plate and fork properly. Grabbing a towel and a cleaning agent she found from one of the many cabinets, she picked up the shards and wiped down the floor to the best of her ability.

It was almost 4 when she returned to the small room she resided in for the moment. Something so calming overcame her when she was able to get out of that tight dress and heels. Sliding under the covers, she reached for her phone and found the number of the person she wanted to speak to the most.

"So, tell me everything. No details left out or else I beat your ass if I find out," Rachel chuckled at the threat coming from her friend. It definitely gave her mood an enhancement.

"It was definitely… something," Rachel admitted.

"Uh-oh," Santana sighed through the phone. "What happened?"

"I feel like an idiot, Tana." "I walked into this knowing that it wasn't going to be easy. Yet, here I am getting my hopes up."

"Did you talk to him?" she wondered.

"Define talking," Rachel replied.

"Did words form in your mouth?" she restated her question.

"Well, first he brushed me off like I was a gust of wind. Then, I probably went a little too far, he blew up, and I had to clean up shards of glass from the kitchen floor."

"But, I don't blame him, Santana. With Christopher and everything, even Quinn said that he's a pure mess."

"You talked to Quinn?" Santana asked.

"Yeah," Rachel smiled on her end. "I guess one good thing came out of today. I showed her Cleo and she called me her best friend again. It was a good catching up."

"That's amazing, Rachel!" the girl laughed through the phone. "I can finally hang up my claw-retractor that I had saved for her visits to the city."

"Real funny," Rachel commented.

"So, other than Frankenteen's mood swings, is everything okay?" She asked.

"No, they really aren't, Santana." She told her. "I don't think they're going to be for a long time. With Christopher gone, and…"

"He's getting married again," She added. "And, she's blonde and beautiful. I mean, I could probably kick her ass if I tried, but the whole town would side with her in the fight. Everyone likes her. She's like the perfect candidate for the Mayor's wife. She has the ability to take any effort that I ever put into that title and just chuck it out the window."

"What's her name?" Santana asked.

"Haley," Rachel replied.

"Ugh, she sounds like a bitch," Rachel laughed at Santana's joke.

"That's the thing…" she sighed into the phone. "She seems like she would be, but she's the exact opposite. And this makes me hate her even more because I physically can't hate her… Ugh, Santana, what am I going to do?"

"You're going to do the respectable thing… You're going to smile to her face as you slowly steal her man," her friend instructed her.

"He's hot too, Santana… I know that this sounds so terrible. But, the whole time he was in the front of the church giving his eulogy, I was checking him out. He's lost a lot of weight and he's like built now. It's really weird, and I shouldn't look at him like that with everything that's going on. But, I can't stop myself."

"He was your boyfriend, Rachel." Santana reminded her. "It's perfectly normal. Just, why don't you take little nap or something? It's got to be like 4 over there or something, right?"

"Yeah," Rachel confirmed.

"You're stressing yourself out too much. Get some rest. You even sound exhausted. And, is that thunder I just heard?"

"Yeah, the weather's been pretty bad all day," Rachel told her.

"See, perfect sleeping weather…"

"I miss you, Tana," Rachel whispered into the phone.

"I miss you too, kiddo," she smiled, thinking of how Santana was acting like her mother. "When do you think you'll be coming back? You can't keep blowing our life's savings at Mrs. Chamberlain's."

"I know, but I don't really think it's going to be soon, Santana. It might take some time. I might just try and go home tonight."

"Are you insane?" The girl exclaimed, too loud for Rachel's liking.

"Do you really think I'd be here if I weren't?" Rachel joked. "Just, if I don't answer my phone for a whole day while I'm over here, jump on the nearest flight and come check on me."

"Deal," she laughed.

"I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay," After that, she was left to look up to the ceiling. With the sound of yet another storm brewing outside of the window, Rachel took her friend's advice and drifted off. She wasn't disturbed until a slight knocking presented itself outside of her door hours later.

Rubbing her eyes as she sat up from the bed, Rachel noticed light was no longer seeping into the room. Crap, she thought. She must've overslept. Leaping from the bed, Rachel found Mrs. Chamberlain waiting behind the door.

"Hey," Rachel awkwardly commented, running her hand over the doorknob.

"Hi sweetie, "she older woman smiled. "I was just coming up to remind you that check-out is in half-an –hour, unless you need to stay another night. I can bring the card processor up to you."

"No thank you," she answered politely. "I think I have another place to stay for tonight."

"Oh, okay dear." She nodded. "Well, just meet me downstairs by 5:30, okay?"

"No problem," she replied before closing the door.

She stepped out of the location at 5:36 with her suitcases in her hands and not a clue as to where she'd be staying tonight.

Then, it turned to 6:04 and she was pulling her suitcase out of a cab, standing in front of the home she was so relieved to be driving away from four years ago.

It amazed her how different the place looked. It had been renovated on the outside; the streetlights revealed that much. The bricks had been bleached it seemed, and a garage appeared to be installed in the front.

She was scared. She wouldn't lie about that. When she walked back into the front door, things would change. The lights seemed to be off or low in the house from the look of things. However, the garage doors were closed so she couldn't see who was in the house. Maybe they'd be asleep. If she could just go in, sneak into her room, and set an alarm to wake her up before they did, she might be okay.

That's exactly what she did. And it seemed to be working. The same key hid underneath the flowerpot on the side of the entrance. Hearing the click, she slowly pushed the door open and tiptoed inside.

The only thing she noticed was the way the house smelled. It was different than what she remembered. There was more of a masculine scent radiating in the air. There were a few lamps lit in the living room. The sound of the TV was also playing in the near distance. The kitchen lights were still on as well. So, it was safe to say that people were probably still awake.

Getting on her tippy-toes, she could see the recliner arched a little back. Her heart dropped, knowing that she had to be extremely careful. That was about the same time the door mat caught her foot, sending her forward with the coat hanger in the process. She knew she was caught.

She didn't even bother to get up. Instead, with the two suitcases on the floor next to her, she kept her face on the floor, guarding it from James or Shelby; whoever would find her first.

She could've sat down and explained all of the things she expected to happen in that moment. The range was from hugs, crying fits, and physically being kicked out on her ass. However, what happened next never even crossed her mind.

"Rachel?" the familiar voice asked.

Slowly raising her head, she took him into view. His dark brown locks were drenched, noting that he'd probably just gotten out of the shower. In nothing but a pair of dark blue pajama pants, he held a beer in one hand and a remote in the other.

Her face got hot just looking at him. She was definitely right in assuming there was something under that suit earlier in the church. She blushed on as she remembered her conversation with Santana earlier. Then, she remembered that she was still spread out across the floor, staring at him.

Using her palms, she slowly pushed herself to her feet, trying to prop up the coat rack she'd just taken with her to the floor.

"Finn, Hey," she replied with every bit of awkwardness present. Brushing off her knees, she moved to pick up her suitcases.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, looking over her appearance.

"What are you doing here?" she wondered, looking around. "Where's Shelby?"

"At her house," Finn replied.

"So, she's here?" Rachel assumed.

"No," he shook his head.

"I'm confused," she admitted.

"Of course you are." He sighed. "We switched houses. I couldn't be in my dad's house after he died, so she decided to take it. I moved in yesterday."

"Oh," she nodded. "I'm really sorry for breaking into your home then. I was going to try and go back into my room. I didn't have enough money to pay Mrs. Chamberlain for another night."

"I take it New York wasn't as kind as you thought it'd be?" he asked.

"How'd you know about New York?" she asked, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Quinn may have mentioned it."

"Right," she said, looking to the floor. A silence enveloped them as she wondered how long it'd be until he shoved her out of the front door.

"You've changed," he observed. "You cut your hair. I almost didn't recognize you."

"So did you," she motioned in his direction. She instantly regretted it when he turned in discomfort.

"I started working out a bit, to blow off anger and stuff. I actually should thank you. You were my motivation most of the time." She knew that he used this as a way to get to her.

Instead, she processed his blow, grabbed her suitcases, and turned for the front door. The faster she could get the hell out of there, the faster she could figure out where there was left to go.

"Rachel," she called, stopping her immediately in her tracks. Turning around, she took in his face. She knew that this was hard for him. His mouth was open, as if he were struggling to come up with the right words for the situation.

"There's a guest room upstairs," he informed her. "If you have nowhere else to go, you can crash in there."

"Thank you," she whispered. He only nodded, heading back into the living room to leave her on her own. Getting up the stairs, she wondered why he didn't suggest her old room. Turning the knob to the dark room, she switched the light to see why.

She didn't recognize the space. The furniture was in ruins on the floor, there were shards of glass in some places, burn sites on the carpet, and a giant hole in the wall. She didn't hear him behind her, so when he spoke, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

"That's why I suggested the guest room," he said over her shoulder.

"You did this?" she asked, taking in the vicinity of her old bedroom.

"I used my dad's hammer to break all of your furniture, and then sat in a hospital that night as they placed a cast over my left foot." He informed her, pointing to the hole in the wall. "As for the shards and the burn spots, pictures of you that I couldn't delete were broken from the frames and burned. My dad paid for the repairs, but Shelby used his money on other things I guess."

"Finn, I-"He cut her off.

"You left me in this town like I was nothing but trash to you. I only thought it was fair to do the same to all of your stuff."

"Finn, the reasons why I left had nothing to do with you. I loved you so much and it kills me to see-" she tried to explain before he cut her off again.

"Sleep tight, Rachel. I have an early morning tomorrow. So, just make yourself at home. Goodnight," He said, heading to her mother's old room, which seemed to be his now.

She tossed and turned that night. No matter how many times she tried to reposition herself, the conversation shared hours before haunted her brain. It was beginning to round 3 am when she decided that she couldn't take it anymore. Sleep was entirely out of the picture.

Pushing the sheets back, she rose and made her way to the next room. She knew that she was absolutely insane and would probably get it big time, but she didn't care. She needed to help however she could at putting her mind to rest.

When she pushed the door open, the arctic air nearly shocked her. However, she wasn't surprised one bit. This was one of the many things she knew about him. Finn could only sleep soundly when the room temperature was near below freezing. She learned this when her mother wouldn't be home and they'd decide to take naps in her bed. As she shivered her ass off in those times, she'd always move into Finn's side as closely as she possibly could. She was never disappointed either. He was like a big teddy bear. Those were some of the best sleeps she'd ever gotten.

Closing the door behind her, she tiptoed further into the room. She thought he was sleeping soundly until she heard the mumbling from his pillow.

"I'm pretty sure stalking is a felon in all fifty-states, Rachel." Sitting up from his bed, he flipped his lamp on and rubbed his eyes before looking up at her.

"My head's really loud right now and I couldn't sleep," she explained herself, nervously fidgeting with her thumbs. "Has that ever happened to you?" She instantly regretted it.

"All the time; it's the side effects of having your heart ripped out of your chest." He replied, looking over her with those same eyes from earlier. "Then again, I'm not sure how you're experiencing it, since you are the bitch that ripped mine out."

The bitch, she thought. Finn had just called her a bitch. It hurt like hell but she knew that she couldn't be mad. He was only speaking from hurt that she caused.

She stood still for a moment, before turning to head out of his bedroom door and leave him alone for the night. Then, like before, he called her name. "Rachel, wait… I didn't mean it."

Turning around, she spoke. "Finn, please… I'm begging you, just… I miss you so much right now… Please, let me in just a little. I'm so sorry. I love you." She cried as she stood there like an exposed idiot. He turned to sit on the edge of his bed. For a moment he watched her, not saying a word. Then, he placed his head in his hands before rubbing his face and looking back to her. It seemed like he was thinking things through before his face went blank and he spoke again.

"Come here."

She didn't even wait for confirmation on what he said. She only launched herself forward in his direction. It was when their arms met that she felt it. It was like the last four years of longing, crying, and thinking of only him were just a bad dream. When he took her in his arms, she felt 18 again, sitting on that porch with him. That was only when their arms met. When their lips met, she didn't know how to explain the feeling. It was like taking the first breath after struggling for so long underwater.

It lasted for what seemed like hours. With the impact, he fell backwards onto his pillow. One moment his hands were running up and down her back, the next she was straddling him. In another moment, he was flipping her over and getting on top, the next he was placing kisses down the sides of her neck while running his hands through her hair. Then, she was back on top running kisses down his neck and her hands through his hair. It felt like cloud 9. The way he whispered "baby" in her ears; the comfort she felt in his arms, it was heaven.

That's when she came crashing down from her high. In the smallest fragment of a second, she felt it. His restraint became obvious as he was pulling away from her. She was still sitting on top of his waist when this happened. Straightening up, she only looked at him with all of the confusion, wondering what she did wrong.

He was winded as he spoke. "I'm sorry, Rachel. I can't do this. I shouldn't have let this happen. Not after everything." "You can stay tonight, but tomorrow you have to go."

She only looked at him for a few more minutes before feeling like the biggest idiot in the world. Nodding her head in acceptance and defeat, she slowly maneuvered herself off of him.

"I understand," she whispered. "I'm just really sorry for everything that I've done to make you hate me so much."

Collecting herself the best she could, she moved for the door as fast as possible. To her dismay, his voice stopped her again.

"That's the worst part, you know." He called out as she leaned into the door, refusing to face him again. Her tears fell like rain as she heard the break in his voice. "After everything that's happened over these past four years, hating you has never been an option for me. I physically can't no matter how hard I try."

She opened the door and rushed out of there as fast as she possibly could. The guest bedroom in her old home was where she fell apart that night.