Chapter six- July 15th 2028
I had a few guest reviews for this chapter so I'm going to try and address them now because sadly I can't PM you a reply.
To to the first guest: oh, I'm sorry you feel that way. But it's okay. You're entitled to an opinion.
To the 2nd guest: thank you so much. Turners syndrome needs more attention and I'm happy to be talking about it in my story.
To the 3rd guest review: your review is alarmly similar to my first guest review, and given that guest reviews take a while to show up on the story there's no way you could of coppied what they said without knowing what it was that was said, I'm pretty sure you're the same person, lol.
Thanks again for the reviews, follows and favourites! Please enjoy this chapter! Sending you all much love and happiness.
Chapter six plot- Jo attends a therapy session while continuing to keep her tragic secret to herself.
"Jo, you've had three appointments and you haven't said a word. Is there something on your mind?" Dr Milton asks.
Jo continues to sit on the couch and continues to stare at the therapist.
"You know you still have to pay for these appointments even though you haven't said anything. You've had three appointments and this is your 4th. I'm not cheep, and these appointments cost $200 each. So so far I've made $800 without you saying a word," she explains.
"I really don't know why I'm here," Jo says un-corporately as she sits on the lounge in the therapists room.
"Your husband is dead," she replies.
Great, she's a therapist that rubs it in. I thought they were supposed to make you feel better, not worse.
"Oh, gee, thanks. Rub it in why don't you. You probably have a husband and children at home who have a father. How do you know how I feel? How can you possibly explain what I'm feeling to me when you haven't felt what I'm going through?" Jo asks unimpressed.
"I do have a husband and I have three children at home who do have a father. So you're right, I don't know what you are feeling. But that's why you're here. You're here to talk and I'm here to listen so I can understand what you're going through," she explains.
I don't think I like her...
"Great, so I'm paying you $200 just to listen to me. You know my friend Steph could do this. Best of all, it wouldn't cost me anything," Jo says.
"Jo, being hostile and mad at me isn't going to change the situation that you're in. You're in it weather you like it or not. Now it's time to accept it," Dr Milton replies calmly.
"I'm fine," Jo says adamantly, "I don't need you to go all shrinky on me," She adds. "You know what. I don't even know why I'm here!" She replies frustratedly.
"Your husband is dead," Dr Milton replies.
Yep, I definitely don't like her...
"Again with the jealousy thing. You don't need to remind me every thirty seconds that he's dead. I know that!" Jo replies.
"Jo, I gave the answer to the question you asked me. It just happened to be the same question you asked me two minutes ago," she replies calmly. "I know that you're not happy to be here because Dr Bailey is making these sessions mandatory. You'd probably be much open and receptive about coming here if you decided to come here yourself. But I am here to help you," she says calmly.
"Look Dr Milton, please stop yelling at me, I am fine! I don't know why everybody thinks I'm not fine. I am doing just fine. I really am fine. So please, just stop pestering me about it," Jo says franticly as she gets up from the couch. As she gets up off the couch she flings her arms out and knocks over a white vase onto the floor and the vase breaks. She and Dr Milton look down at the now broken vase. "Okay, so maybe I'm not fine," Jo replies reluctantly as she gives a small smiles and sits back down on the lounge.
Crap, I've broken the vase while having what I'm sure she thought was a mental breakdown. I'm not okay...
"Jo I'm going to start with a basic question, just to ease you into it. How do you feel?" She asks.
Jo looks at Dr Milton for a while and Dr Milton gives a persistent look back, "damn it, I hate you," Jo says giving in. You wanna know how I feel? Alright then, here goes," Jo says breathing in and out deeply. "I am pissed and so bloody angry that he is gone. He doesn't get to leave me with four children to raise all by myself. It's hard and I don't want to do it by myself any more and I don't think I shouldn't have to do it by myself. And frankly I'm pissed at myself. I supported him being in the Navy even though I knew it was a dangerous career. What if I made the wrong choice? He could be alive right now. I could have a husband and my children could have a father!" Jo vents, "how's that for easing into it?" Jo asks.
"Okay, that's good. So you're pissed that he died, you have a right to feel that way. And you are pissed at yourself. Tell me more about why that is?" Dr Milton asks.
"What if my children blame me for his death because I didn't stop him from continuing a dangerous career. I knew that he could die doing it but yet I choose to let him keep doing it anyway. And now that the time I knew would come eventually is here, I'm not ready," Jo cries.
"Your husband died doing an honourable thing, he died protecting our country to make it a better place. Your children can't blame you for that. He was a very honourable man," Dr Milton replies
"I'm a doctor, I'm a surgeon, I was at the hospital in the waiting room while my husband was dying. What if I could of saved him?" Jo asks.
"What was the extent of your husbands injuries?" Dr million asks.
"He was badly hurt. There were multiple gunshot wounds, one to his leg and one to him arm. There was massive head trauma that consisted of compression fracture and Intercerberal hematoma. His heart was also under a lot of strain," Jo cries.
Why would she make me relive that? I don't want to remember the hell and pain he went through.
"Jo, you're a surgeon. In your professional opinion, after hearing the extent of his injuries, what would the likelihood be that he could of survived?" Dr Milton asks.
"It'd be almost impossible. Does it really sound like somebody could live after all of that? It was a miracle that he survived long enough to get to the hospital. The medical evacuation took two hours," Jo replies. .
"You tell me? Does it?" She asks.
Jo pauses for a moment, "no. It doesn't sound like somebody would be able to survive that," she replies.
"Exactly. It doesn't sound like somebody could survive those injuries. Like you said, it was a miracle that he survived as long as he did. The feelings you're feeling are perfectly natural and a normal process of grief. There are stages and while you're probably not ever going to get over his death, you will learn to live with it," Dr Milton replies.
"Then why do I feel like it is?" Jo asks confused.
"Because you are human and it's gonna take time to get over the man that you loved and the man that you'll always love," Dr Milton replies.
"I feel like now there is an unifiable void in my heart. It's just this empty hole that's longing for him to fill it, and right now it is killing me that he's not here to fill it. He was supposed to be the guy that I'd build a life with. And while we started built a life together, he was supposed to be there to finish it. And I now I have to finish it without him because he's not here and he's not coming back," Jo cries.
"Are you okay?" Dr Milton asks, "can you look me in the eye and tell me that you can continue to go about your life like you used too. Now I know you need to provide for your children, but to provide for them you need to be Okay. Not just physically healthy, but emotionally. You need to have grieved the loss of your husband because he was your husband, he was a man you fell very much in love with and but judging the ring that's still on your finger I'd say he's a man you are still very much in love with," Dr Milton says.
"My husband is dead and I'm a widow, and that's not okay. I have to raise my children without a father, and that's not okay. I have to try and rebuild my life without David in it, and that's not okay. I'm not okay," Jo admits crying.
Dr Milton hands Jo a box of tissues and allows her to cry, "I'm going to end our session now. I want to see you back here tomorrow," she says.
Damn it, she is a very, very good therapist. I've never spoken about David's death to anybody and in a matter of an hour she's unwrapped all my feelings on it. Now I have to like her…..
"What? You're just going to let leave while I'm having a breakdown?" Jo asks. "We've just made progress. Do you want me to fail? If I leave now you're just going to undo everything we just did," Jo protests.
"Jo, you are crying, you're getting all your emotions out that you've been bottling up. You need time to cry," she replies. "Once you've cried the emotional healing can begin," she adds.
Scene break - scene break
"Hey, are you alright?" April asks Jo as she sees her sitting at a lunch table. Her eyes were all puffy and red, as if she had been crying.
Quickly Jo, pull yourself together. She doesn't need to know. Nobody needs to know what you're going through.
Jo quickly wipes her eyes, "um, yep, I'm fine, I'm fine," Jo replies.
"Are you sure?" April asks unsure.
"Yep, I am sure," Jo replies.
"I have a five year old in the ER. He has a severely sore and swollen abdomen. I could get Alex to take a look if you're not up to it," April says.
"No, no, I'm fine. I'll head over there now," Jo replies.