Chapter twelve- August 20th
Chapter twelve plot- Jo's oldest daughter begins to show her feelings about her fathers death. Jo's world continues to fall apart around her just as her mother shows up.
Thank you all again for all of the love and support. Please enjoy this chapter. This is another one of my favourites. Sending you all lots of love and happiness!
"And this my darling is where all the babies come after they're born. We check to make sure they're all healthy and aren't sick," Jo tells Zara as they stand outside the baby nursery. Jo was giving her 8 year old daughter a tour of the hospital. Over the past few weeks Zara had begun to show quite an interest in the hospital.
"There's so many babies here!" Zara exclaims.
"There is isn't there? Do you see that baby over there?" Jo asks pointing to a baby boy that was in the middle of the first row.
"Yep," Zara replies.
"Mummy delivered that baby. His mummy is only 17 years old and when she came into the hospital in labour her baby was coming very fast they couldn't get a obstetrician down in time to deliver the baby. So mummy had to deliver him," Jo says.
I wonder if she understood what all that meant? Zara is a very smart kid and she always surprises me.
"That's so cool! But mummy, what's an obstetrician?" Zara asks confused.
"An obstetrician is a doctor who delivers babies," Jo smiles.
"And what's labour?" Zara asks.
Okay, so she didn't understand it all. But that's okay, I didn't really expect her too.
"You know that your baby sisters grew inside mummy's belly, right?" Jo asks.
"Yeah. You got really fat and then once my baby sisters were born you got really skinny again," Zara replies.
"Well, in order for a baby to be born you have to have something that's called labour, and that means that the baby is coming out from the mummy's tummy," Jo says.
"How does the baby come out?" Zara asks.
Wow Zara, you are a constant surprise. I didn't expect that one. How do I tell you that a baby gets pushed out of your vagina or cut out of your abdomen without scaring you for life?
"Um... There's lots of different ways that I'll tell you about when you're 35," Jo replies.
"What did the mummy call her baby?" Zara asks.
"She called her baby Brody," Jo smiles. "Now come on kiddo, let's keep walking. Mummy wants you to meet Alex. Alex is another paediatric doctor," Jo says.
"Why did daddy die?" Zara asks as they reach the open door of Alex's office. Jo freezes.
It's okay Jo, don't panic. Just breathe, breathe damn it. You knew this day would come. The kids were bound to have questions, it's only natural.
"Daddy died... Um... Daddy died... Um... Put your hand over your heart, like this," Jo tells Zara as she places her hand over her heart. Zara copies Jo.
"Do you feel that?" Jo asks.
"Yeah," Zara replies.
"Well, to stay alive your heart needs to keep beating. And when daddy was hurt in his accident his heart was hurt too. And his heart was hurt so much that the doctors couldn't fix it. So his heart stopped beating and he died," Jo replies.
"But the doctors didn't help him. That's what doctors are supposed to do. They're supposed to save everybody!" Zara says crying.
"Doctors can't save everybody honey. They do there best but they can't help everybody," Jo replies.
"They were supposed to help my daddy but they let him die," Zara cries.
"Oh darling, is that how you feel?" Jo asks as she pulls her daughter in for a hug.
"I hate doctors! I hate them, I hate them I hate them!" Zara yells before breaking free of the hug and running away.
"Oh, Zara! Zara!" Jo yells desperately as her daughter sprints down the hallway. Jo looks over at Alex, who had been watching the meltdown. She looks at him desperately before running down the hallway after her daughter.
Poor Zara, I can't begin to imagine how she's feeling. Her father was taken away from her and she's been bottling it all up. I was so consumed and wallowing in my own grief that I forgot my daughter was grieving too.
Scene break - scene break
"Ah, there you are kiddo. I've been looking everywhere for you," Jo sighs in relief as she finds her daughter standing in front of the babies at the nursery.
Jo approaches her daughter and gives her a tight hug. "It's okay to cry and it's okay to be mad. He was your daddy and you loved him to the moon and back and he loved you to the moon and back. And I know that your heart hurts, because my heart hurts too," Jo says while continuing to hug her daughter.
I just want to keep hugging her, I don't ever want to let her go.
"I just want my daddy back. I miss him," Zara replies.
"I know you miss him darling, we all do. And if I could bring your daddy back I would. I'd give up anything for you to have your dad back. But I can't bring him back, nobody can. He's up in heaven now and he's watching over us. He's keeping us safe from up in the Skye," Jo replies.
"And I'm scared I'm going to forget," Zara cries.
"Daddy is always going to be with us. I'm always going to tell you stories about him and we will always have our pictures. And pictures tell a thousand words. They help us remember things that happened. And tonight we're going to buy a seed," Jo says.
"A seed?" Zara questions confused.
"Yep, I'm going to take you and your sisters to the shops and we're going to buy a seed. I want you to pick it. And then we're going to take it home and plant it in our backyard. We're going to decorate a sign and we're going to call it 'Daddy's tree'. And we're going to watch it grow into a big beautiful tree and every time you see our tree I want you to think of daddy. I want you to think about about all the special things daddy did with you. The way he hugged you. The way he'd tuck you in at night. The way he thought he was sneaking you chocolate biscuits after you'd already had dessert. The way he'd look at you and smile. How does that sound?" Jo asks her daughter.
"I love it," Zara replies. "But what if daddy forgets me now that he's gone?" Zara asks.
"Oh honey, daddy is never going to forget you. You were the light of his life. Every time he saw you he looked at you with such happiness and he was so proud. He loved you. He loved the way you cared about anything and everything. He loved the way you'd never let him kill a spider even though you were petrified of them. Every time you laughed you made him smile. Every hug you gave him made him love you even more. He is never going to forget you, ever. Do you hear me? Daddy will never, ever forget you," Jo asks her daughter as she looks at her straight in the eyes.
Zara nods her head, "I love you mummy," Zara says.
"I love you too," Jo smiles as she wipes the tears from her daughters eyes. "And I want you to know that you can always come to me and tell me how you're feeling. You can come to me about anything," Jo says.
I think I did well. I know she's still hurting, but now she's had a good release I think it will help her understand. She's a kid and kids process things different then we do. I've just gotta keep holding on to her tightly and I have to keep loving her. That's all she needs.
Scene break - scene break
"Jo, I'm so sorry to interrupt you, but a woman downstairs keeps asking to see you. Should I tell her that you're busy?" A nurse asks kindly as she stands in Jo's doorway. Jo still had Zara and the pair were in her office. Jo was filling out some charts while Zara was doing some drawing.
Jo looks down at her daughter, "no, um, I'll take Zara for a walk and go down and see her. What did she say her name was?" Jo asks out of curiosity.
"Um, she said it was Amanda," the nurse says smiling.
"Okay, thank you," Jo replies before the nurse leaves. "Zara honey, we're going to go for a walk, come on," Jo says holding out her hand for her daughter. Zara grabs hold of it and they walk downstairs.
I wonder who this woman could be? And why does she want to see me? Is she a former patient? Or did she get a referral to see me? It is a bit odd though.
"Somebody was asking to see me?" Jo says to a nurse downstairs.
"Ah yes, she's over there," the nurse replies while pointing to the woman.
"Thank you," Jo smiles before walking over to her.
"Um, hi, I'm Dr Josephine Maidenway, you asked to see me," Jo says to the woman.
The woman smiles, "You my dear are a very, very hard woman to track down," she says.
"Oh, okay," Jo replies confused and a little shocked. "May I ask who you are? And why you've been looking at for me?" Jo asks.
"My name is Amanda Harrison. I'm your mother," she replies.
Crap, crappity, crap, crap, crap...