"What's up with this guy?! No style, no funny, just gruesome!" exclaimed Joker, as they stood outside the abandoned hospital which Batman informed them Ricky was using as his base of operations. It probably wouldn't have been that hard to find even without his help – there were corpses of his victims scattered around the outside, contorted in random positions and missing limbs, with smiles carved onto their faces. "You explain the joke in those morbid trophies, Harley!"

"You told me never to explain the joke, puddin'," replied Harley. "Anyway, I don't think Ricky makes jokes – he just wants to cause as much damage as possible, because like many people who don't really understand you, he believes your purpose in life is to just kill as many people as possible."

"It isn't?" asked Batman.

"Not unless it's funny," retorted Joker. "I ain't the Joker without the jokes. I'm a comedian first and a criminal second, Batsy, you know that."

"I don't see what could possibly be funny about killing people – it's all just gruesome to me," retorted Batman. "So frankly I don't see a huge amount of difference between your two styles of crime."

"You're either blind as a bat, or you have no sense of humor," said Joker. "Probably both. But see, I know you, Bats. I could tell a real Bat from a fake, if some loser started going around impersonating you."

"Nobody would ever dare do that," said Batman.

"Yeah, cause you ain't got a hot girlfriend everyone wants," agreed Joker. "Although I guess Harvey does want her, come to think about it."

"What is this about Harvey and Selina?" demanded Batman

"Oh, they're together," replied Joker, grinning. "I went to see Harvey and found him playing with the Kitty in bed, and from the looks of things, they were doing more than just heavy petting," he giggled.

Batman said nothing. "Well, that's fine," he said at last. "We broke up. She's a free woman. She can do what she wants."

He started toward the door. "Of course, I had hoped that doing what she wanted wouldn't have involved sleeping with a supercriminal," he added, with annoyance in his voice. "I mean, I thought she had moved beyond a life of crime, and being involved with criminals – it just seems like a step backward for her, and I think I'm allowed to be annoyed about that."

"Maybe she was just sick of dating a goody-two-shoes and wanted a bad boy for once," said Harley, shrugging. "Women do like 'em, y'know."

"That kind of thinking is incredibly unhelpful, Harley," snapped Batman. "It's that attitude that drove Ricky to this. He knew you wouldn't love him unless he was as evil as the Joker, and look at the result!" he said, gesturing to the corpses.

"Then maybe I wasn't the girl for him, Bats," snapped Harley. "What happened to Ricky wasn't my fault. I can't help who I love, and people have to accept that. You shouldn't ever change yourself to try to impress someone else."

"A lesson I see you don't follow in your own life," growled Batman.

"Hey, I didn't become Harley Quinn to please Mr. J!" snapped Harley.

"No, she did not," agreed Joker. "I never asked her to do anything of the kind. I certainly wouldn't wish Harley on the world, or on me!" he chuckled.

"Harley Quinn is who I am," she continued. "Deep down inside. Mr. J helped me realize that. He set me free. I finally feel like the real me, and it's all thanks to him. Ricky's tried to twist himself into something he's not to please me. There's a difference, and his way is sad. More than that, it's tragic."

She shoved past Batman and headed for the door. "You boys should stay out here. I wanna talk to Ricky alone, and the sight of you two will probably be the opposite of helpful."

"What if you get in trouble going in there alone?" demanded Batman.

"I can take care of myself," she retorted. "And if you wanna keep an eye on me, I'm sure you can sneak in and observe somehow. Maybe through a window," she said, nodding up. "You're good at that, Bats. But I gotta confront him by myself."

She opened the door without another word and disappeared into the darkness. Joker and Batman shared a look, and then Batman sighed, reaching for his grappling hook and grabbing Joker's arm. "Try not to make any noise," he muttered, shooting the hook up to a higher window.

"Not like Harvey and Kitty, then!" chuckled Joker.

"I will drop you," warned Batman. "The fall won't kill you, so you know I'll do it."

"Geez, Bats, lighten up!" chuckled Joker as Batman reeled the hook in, pulling them both up to the higher floors. "All that gloominess is probably the reason Selina prefers Harvey – at least he's only miserable half of the time. Probably the time that he's with Selina…ow! Don't worry, Batsy, I'm ok! I landed on my spine!"

…

Harley walked down the dark, empty corridor of the deserted hospital, feeling herself shivering. And not just because the place was cold – the whole atmosphere gave her the creeps. The doors to large, empty rooms gaped wide, like dislocated jaws, leading her further into the mouth of darkness. "Ricky?" she called, hoping her voice didn't sound too nervous. "Ricky? Are you here?"

There was no response – just the dripping of water leaking through the building's roof. "Mr. J never woulda picked someplace like this for his hideout," muttered Harley to herself, rubbing her arms. "It's too creepy, and there's no gag in it. Not like a funhouse or an amusement park or a…"

"It's where people go when they're sick," said a voice behind her. "It's not meant to be a joke. It's just where I feel most comfortable now."

She whirled around to see Ricky standing behind her, wearing the same makeup and clothes. "And it made me…think of you," he continued. "You went to medical school and interned in a hospital, didn't you?"

"A...mental hospital, yeah," stammered Harley.

"That's where you met him," he murmured. "Me. That's where all the madness started. Our mad love began there," he said, stepping toward her. "You thought you could help me, Harley, that you could cure my sick mind…but the truth is, you can't. You can't. I'm the Joker, and I'm incurable."

"Ricky, please, this ain't you," whispered Harley. "I know you. And I know what happened to you was awful, but…I gotta believe the real Ricky is still in there somewhere. My friend," she said, holding out a hand to him.

He took it in his, holding her fingers gently against his scar. "You're so beautiful," he whispered. "Even like this, with that clown face hiding away all your beauty…" he said, using his free hand to touch her cheek.

"Ricky, this is who I am now," she murmured. "Harley Quinn."

"And this is who I am now," he agreed. "The Joker."

"No, Ricky, you ain't," she said. "You're Ricky Sorkin. You're the boy who climbed a tree to get my scarf after the wind got it stuck in the branches. You're the boy who shared his ice cream with me after mine fell on the ground. You're the boy who used to stay up late with me telling ghost stories until we were both too scared to go to bed. You must remember all that, Ricky. That's the guy I want you to be. Not anyone else."

He shook his head. "But you pretend to be someone else, Harley," he murmured. "When you're really Harleen Quinzel. My best friend, and the girl I have always loved. We were meant to be together, don't you see? And then you…you left me. You went off to Gotham, and you changed...into this."

"I haven't changed, Ricky," she whispered. "That's the point. If you remember me as a kid, you remember that I was always mischievous, headstrong, adventurous. I wanted to do crazy things, and be different from the other kids. I wanted to live a life of constant fun. And I am, Ricky. I forgot for a while, when I was studying and working, who I was and what I wanted to be. Mr. J helped me remember. But you…you never wanted any of that. And you never wanted to hurt anyone. This isn't you, Ricky. The Ricky I knew was such a nice, sweet boy. And I know he's still in there somewhere," she said.

He shook his head slowly. "You're right, Harley," he whispered. "I never wanted the hurt anyone. The only thing I ever wanted, the only dream I ever had growing up, was to be with you. If you feel that strongly that your purpose in life is to be Harley Quinn, I feel just as strongly that my purpose is to love you. And to prove that love to you, whatever the cost."

"But Ricky, I ain't ever gonna love you," she murmured. "Not the way you want."

"But you will love the Joker," he whispered. "And I will become him completely. For you."

He pulled her down the corridor. "Come with me," he said. "I have something I want to show you."

Harley followed him, glancing up into the rafters and trying to reassure herself that Batman and the Joker weren't far behind, although she didn't see them. Ricky opened the door to a large room, where a giant vat had been set up in the middle of the floor. There were stairs leading up to a platform high above it, and as Harley reached the top, she caught her breath in horror as she saw the vat was filled with a bubbling, glowing green chemical.

"As near as I can tell, this is the same concoction that the Joker fell into, that turned him into what he is today," whispered Ricky. "If I too immerse myself in it, I will become him. It's not enough, I see that now, to try to replicate his crimes or copy his look – to become him, I have to go through the same process."

He turned to look at her. "Will you come with me, Harley?" he murmured.

"What, in there?" she asked. She shook her head. "No, thank you, I ain't that nuts!"

"But we'll be together, don't you see?" he whispered. "And we'll be mad together. What happens to me will also happen to you – we'll share the same mind and the same appearance and the same experience. We'll share the same soul, more than you and the Joker do now. We will have the truest love which ever existed, as we always should have. We were made for each other, Harley. And now we can be re-made together."

"Ricky, I'm real flattered, but I'm happy with who I am," said Harley. "True love ain't just about the similarities, y'know – it's about the differences too. Mr. J and I don't need to be exactly the same to love each other, and being exactly the same wouldn't make me love you either. You should be happy with who you are too, Ricky Sorkin…"

"No, I'm not!" he roared, suddenly angry. "I'm not Ricky Sorkin! You don't love Ricky Sorkin! And I will be the man you love, however it takes! I won't let you destroy our love, our love that was so perfect until you threw it all away for some crazy clown! You had no right to do that, and he has no right to have you! He doesn't know you like I do - he wasn't there for every step of your life, like I was! Was it all a joke to you, Harley?! Is that all we ever were?!"

"Ricky…" she began, but he reached into his pocket and snapped a handcuff onto her wrist. He placed the other end around his own wrist, chaining them together.

"I'm sorry, Harley, but I have to try," he whispered. "I have to try, or I'll go mad. I can't just give you up – it's not possible. Every part of my being loves you. And if I can't have your love, I have nothing."

He walked toward the edge of the platform, dragging Harley reluctantly behind him. She clung onto the railing with her free hand, but he was stronger, and prised her off.

"We should plunge into our new life together," he whispered. "Our hands chained together, as our hearts soon will be, for all eternity."

"Ricky, no, please, don't jump…" she stammered. "You don't wanna do this…"

He looked at her, and nodded. "I do," he whispered. "I'm doing this for us. We'll never be unhappy, don't you see? And we'll always be together, as we always should have been. No matter what happens."

He squeezed her hand tightly, and then jumped.