Harley screamed as she felt herself being pulled off the platform, trying desperately to seize onto the edge with her free hand. And then her free hand was caught by someone. She looked up and beamed. "Mr. J!" she gasped.
"Hang on, kid," he muttered, trying to pull her back up despite Ricky's weight dragging her down. He looked up and saw the Joker, and grew furious.
"No!" he snarled. "You will not come between us again!"
He wrenched on her arm, making her slip in Joker's grip. Harley screamed as Joker lurched forward, sending her closer to the batch of chemicals. And then Joker was seized by Batman, who began pulling all of them back up.
"Oh…I get it…" gasped Joker. "You'll save…Harley from falling into the chemicals now…but not me back then! That's sexist, Bats!"
"Shut…up!" hissed Batman, straining to pull them the last few feet. Harley fell into the Joker's arms as Batman grabbed Ricky by the collar and hauled him over the edge.
"You shouldn't even be here, Batman!" growled Ricky, glaring up at him. "You're supposed to be taking care of the bomb!"
"What bomb?" demanded Batman.
Ricky chuckled. "Follow the alphabet, you caped freak! Next is E."
"News flash: there's nothing funny about alphabet jokes, you humorless nutjob!" snapped Joker.
"News flash: there's nothing funny about you!" shouted Ricky. "You're a destructive, psychopathic child who doesn't amuse anyone except himself! You accuse others of having no sense of humor, but really you're the one who doesn't know a joke when he sees one!"
Joker gaped at him. "You're a lunatic!" he gasped.
"See why I couldn't tell the difference between him and you?" demanded Batman.
Joker's shock instantly turned to fury. "All right, punk, you're going down!" he hissed. "I can maybe see your imitation as a kind of flattery. I can maybe sympathize with you wanting Harley. But I cannot excuse you telling me I have no sense of humor!"
"What bomb?" repeated Batman, shoving Joker aside and lifting Ricky up to face him. "Where is it? When is it going off?"
"Oh, in about five minutes!" laughed Ricky. "I'm trying to prove a point to you, Batman. I'm trying to help you see how futile and useless your struggle is. You're fighting against crime and evil, but crime and evil are inflicted upon millions of people every day! There is no stopping it, because it is inside everyone! Even the most innocent seeming, the most beautiful people," he whispered, staring at Harley. "All of it is lies. The world is chaos and evil, and the innocent dreams of children are destroyed and burned on a daily basis. Why shouldn't everyone see that life is suffering and misery? It's chaotic and unfair and cruel. You're never too young to learn that."
"Geez, you ain't a cheery guy, are ya?" asked Joker. "This clown schtick is all wrong for you…"
"East Gotham Elementary School," said Batman suddenly, releasing Ricky and tearing off into the darkness. "I'm warning you, Joker! Don't kill him!" he shouted back.
"Oh, too late for that, Batsy," muttered Joker, glaring at Ricky.
"You don't love her!" growled Ricky, tugging on Harley's wrist again and wrenching her out of Joker's arms. "Not even a fraction of how deeply I do! It's not right that you have her! I knew her long before you ever laid eyes on her!"
"Yeah, well, it doesn't work like that, Ricardo!" snapped Joker, tugging Harley back into his arms. "It's not finders keepers! It's Harley's choice!"
"Yeah, and I ain't a tug-of-war rope!" she shrieked. "So stop pulling me between you two!"
"She is the only thing worth living for in this bleak, miserable world," whispered Ricky.
"Oh, take some Prozac and cheer up, pal!" snapped Joker. "I hate people like you! Yeah, life is crazy and random, so rather than have some fun and find some joy in that, you mope about how unfair it all is! You're worse than Batsy – at least he actually takes some action!"
"I am taking some action," whispered Ricky. "I am taking the only action I can take. I am taking Harley," he hissed, yanking her away again and placing his handcuffed arm firmly around her waist, and the other around her throat. "And I will become the Joker. And we will be together forever," he said, stepping backward toward the edge of the platform again.
Joker sighed. "Y'know, it would take more than a dip in that to become me," he said, nodding down. "It would take a whole sense of humor transplant, since it's pretty clear you ain't got one. See, if you're the Joker, it's all about the gags!" he said, spraying a jet of acid from the flower on his buttonhole straight at Ricky's arm around Harley's waist. The acid landed on the chain and it sizzled, freeing Harley. And then, before anyone could react, Joker whipped out his gun and fired a boxing glove on a spring straight at Ricky. It collided with his face, knocking him back off the platform.
But instead of landing in the acid, the punch threw him a bit farther, causing him to bounce off the edge of the vat with a sickening crunch, and land on the hard ground with a loud thud. "Ricky!" shrieked Harley, racing down the steps and rushing over to him. Blood was already pooling beneath him from his cracked skull, and he stared up at her with eyes whose life was seeping away just as fast.
"Harley," he whispered. "My head really hurts…I think I'm bleeding."
"Yeah," she murmured, tears in her eyes as she knelt beside him, pulling him gently onto her lap and taking his hand. "Yeah, you are, Ricky. But don't worry. The pain's gonna go away real soon. I promise."
"I'm scared, Harley," he murmured. "You were never scared. Help me be brave like you."
"I ain't brave, Ricky," she whispered, letting her tears fall. "I know it seems like I am, but I ain't. I just pretend to be…whenever I'm afraid…I just…smile."
Ricky managed a small smile. "I wish…we could go back to the park, Harley. And play on the swings. I wish I could have had one more day like that…with you. But you won't leave me again, will you, Harley? You'll stay with me, until the end, won't you?"
"Yeah, Ricky," she whispered, kissing his forehead. "I will. I promise."
The end was not far off. Ricky managed a few more labored breaths, and then his eyes, which were fixed on Harley, suddenly went out. His hand dropped from hers, revealing his scar again. Harley continued to hold him, crying silently.
"He had to die, Harl," murmured Joker from behind her.
"I know," she whispered. "Nobody could have saved him. And I wouldn't have wanted him to live any longer…the way he was. I don't think Ricky…the real Ricky…would have wanted that either," she said, stroking his hair back from his lifeless face. "It's just…a shame that this had to happen to him, Mr. J. He never deserved this."
"Nobody deserves anything, Harley," murmured Joker. "He was right about one thing – the world is a crazy, random, cruel place. Crazy, random, cruel stuff happens in it, and it happens to good guys the same way it happens to bad guys. Life ain't about justice or fairness or right. That's what the Bat can't understand. He's like…like Ricky was, I guess. He sees the world as something to fight against. But that's a crazy thing to do. The only sane response if you can't beat the crazy is to join in. You'll just make yourself miserable otherwise. And you don't wanna be miserable, do you, kiddo? Doncha wanna be happy?"
"I've always wanted to be happy, Mr. J," she whispered.
He knelt down beside her, tilting her chin up, and smiled. "There's the gal who drove a man to madness," he murmured. "Can't say I really blame him for that."
Harley smiled through her tears, and then broke down, hugging Joker tightly and sobbing into his chest. He held her and let her cry as the night fell around them.