It was the same dream, every time.
We were in the warehouse, Dan ranting and raving while I was tied to a chair; only this time, I wasn't able to free my hands. Like clockwork, Dan would accuse me of sleeping around—most often with Natsu, but sometimes with Gray or Gajeel—and I would hedge around the accusation to piss him off. As if summoned by his name, Natsu would appear, gun trained on Dan. The two would argue as I struggled, already knowing how it would end. Natsu would attempt to calm me down with banter, always ending with him being shot. This time, however, instead of being able to perform CPR, I would be forced to watch as he bled out. Dan would laugh and kick his body, mocking my screams and struggling. Then, he would grow annoyed and point the gun at my own head. He would ask me if I loved Natsu that much, then place the gun gently against my head. Then join him, Dan would say, and then pull the trigger. Each morning would find me tangled in my sheets, heart racing and drenched in sweat.
"Lucy?" a voice prompted me, pulling me back to reality.
"I'm sorry, what?"
Dr. Crux regarded me for a moment, running a hand over his mustache. I'd shot Dan nearly six months ago, and had been seeing Dr. Crux for the last two. Court-ordered, boyfriend-encouraged. It was slow going, and so far I wasn't making a whole lot of progress, but I had been assured that that would only come with time. Dr. Crux had enough patience for both of us, and never seemed to judge me for anything I said. He never flinched when my voice got a little too loud, and never interrupted me. When I was silent, he would prompt me gently and when I evaded, he would calmly steer us back on track. Glancing at the clock, I realized with a twinge of guilt that I had been sitting, silent, for at least the last eight minutes. I must have gotten lost in thought while telling him about my dreams. I opened my mouth to apologize for this, but he waved me off.
"I think this is a good stopping point. You've made some excellent progress today, and I hope you feel comfortable telling me the rest of your dream next week. Now, what is your affirmation for this coming week?" Dr. Crux asked, picking up his pen again. Weekly affirmations were a coping tool Dr. Crux had encouraged from our first appointment in order to battle my negative self-esteem. I had to pick something positive about myself, and look in the mirror and repeat it back to myself at least once a day. He said it could be anything, so the first couple of weeks I chose smart-mouthed phrases, such as "I have nice hair" and "My nails always look nice." Surprisingly, Dr. Crux never showed any annoyance at this. As time went on, I began to choose phrases that meant a little more to me, like "I'm a decent writer" and "I sing well."
I thought about my affirmation for a few moments.
"I cook well," I answered him. Dr. Crux smiled.
"Has Natsu been teaching you? You mentioned last week that he offered."
"Yes," I confirmed, smiling to myself. In truth, Natsu had been offering to teach me to cook for months now. Apparently, Igneel was pretty useless in the kitchen, so Natsu did most of the cooking. He told me that his first few attempts were pretty awful, but as time went on, he got pretty decent at it. When Igneel disappeared, Natsu began to really work at it, knowing how much Igneel loved food. He had wanted to cook him a feast when he returned, but was never able to. After Igneel died, Natsu stopped cooking for a while, only starting up again when Erza and Gray informed him that they just couldn't get this one dish right. Annoyed, he had showed them, and it reignited his love for the craft.
I glanced down at my watch and grimaced. I was running late. As if sensing my urgency, Dr. Crux shut his notebook and stood.
"That's great to hear. I'd like to hear more about what dishes you are working on next time. Have a good week, Lucy, and enjoy the wedding!"
I smiled a little wider as I opened the door to his office.
"Sure thing, Dr. Crux. See you next week!" I waved, closing the door behind me. I checked my phone as I stepped out onto the street, noticing a missed call from Gajeel. Dialing him quickly, I unlocked my car door and slid into the driver's seat.
"Redfox," his gruff voice greeted, sounding slightly distracted.
"Hey, Gajeel. I'm really sorry, I was in session. I know I'm running a little late, but I'm on my way to the church now," I babbled, turning onto the street. Gajeel huffed.
"Calm down, Blondie, it's fine. I was just gonna ask if you could stop by your apartment on the way here and pick up my tie? I forgot it over there last night," Gajeel added under his breath, and I could almost see him shaking his head. I giggled as I turned onto mine and Levy's street.
Shortly after I'd been released from the hospital, I'd realized that I didn't particularly want to live alone. I'd been waking up from pretty gnarly nightmares, after which I would get up to check my locks and then spend the rest of the night on the couch, watching TV. Natsu and Gray both offered for me to just move in with them permanently, but with how new mine and Natsu's relationship was, I wasn't entirely comfortable with that. Mira, Lisanna, and Elfman's house was a little too crowded for my liking, and Gajeel's apartment was a little cramped. That's when Levy stepped up to the plate. She had a spare bedroom and had been looking for a roommate for a while. Unfortunately, there was only one bathroom, but both of us were pretty clean people, so we didn't have too much of an issue with it. Living with a detective calmed my troubled mind a little, and it was pretty close to Natsu and Gray's, so I would be able to visit them often.
Living with Levy was nice. I'd recently returned to my job at Sorcerer Weekly, so we both had pretty hectic schedules. Days off were spent curled up on the couch, her reading and me writing. Her and Gajeel were still dancing around each other, but it seemed like they were becoming closer by the day. Levy had informed me that they had some stuff in their past that they were working through, but didn't go into further detail.
I pulled up in front of the church, tie in hand, and was greeted by a frantic Mira.
"Lucy, thank goodness!" she gushed, pulling me into a bone-crushing hug. I chuckled and patted her awkwardly on the arm.
"Yes, I survived downtown traffic. What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be inside, getting ready?" I asked, glancing back down at my watch. Since I had been running so far behind, I knew I'd be sneaking in just as the ceremony was set to start.
"Oh, well yes, but I had to make sure you got here okay! Come on!" Mira dragged me into the church, dropping me off with Levy and Gajeel outside of the main room. "I need to go check on the other bridesmaids, not to mention make sure the maid-of-honor has everything." She sent me a wink before sweeping away, lost in a daze. I chuckled again, shaking my head and offering Gajeel his tie. Levy took it before he could, hopping slightly to sling it around his neck and drag him down to her height.
"Ow! Watch it, Shrimp, or you'll break my spine! I can do it myself…" Gajeel griped without any real heat. Levy simply rolled her eyes.
"It's faster if I do it." She finished knotting it and spun him around, shoving him through the door. "C'mon, Lu! We gotta take our seats!"
The main hall was draped in dark purple and pale blue. The two colors surprisingly complimented each other, the blue muting the purple slightly and the purple making the blue pop. I smiled as I compared the colors to the bride and groom. It fit.
The crowd began to quiet down as music began to play. The precession made their way down the aisle, led by Natsu and Freed Justine. Natsu winked at me on the bride's side as he passed, taking his spot as the maid-of-honor. When everyone was in place, the groom made his way down the aisle, bright green eyes practically dancing with joy. He clapped hands with Natsu as he stopped opposite him. Both men turned when the music changed, signaling the entrance of the bride.
All stood as Lisanna glided down the aisle, escorted by her older brother. Apparently, their parents had passed away in the accident that almost claimed Lisanna as well, so it was up to Elfman to give her away. When they reached the end of the aisle, both Elfman and Mira were openly sobbing. Even Natsu's eyes were looking a little misty.
The rest of the ceremony went off without a hitch. Detective Conbolt's son Romeo acted as ring bearer, and Alzack and Bisca's daughter Asuka was the flower girl. Natsu dutifully held Lisanna's bouquet as her and Bixlow exchanged rings, and offered her a tissue when her happy tears threatened to overflow. With a sweet kiss, the couple was announced man and wife. Rowdy cheers filled the church, and nothing but joyful faces could be seen. Bixlow gathered Lisanna in his arms and carried her back down the aisle, calling out that they would see everyone at the reception. The precession filed out after them, Natsu sending me a happy, beaming smile as he passed. My heart warmed seeing him so happy.
As I entered the reception hall, I was startled by an icy hand on my arm.
"Sorry, Lucy!" Gray, the owner of said icy hand, exclaimed, holding his hands up apologetically. "I didn't mean to scare you!"
"It's cool," I waved him off, rubbing some warmth back into my bicep. "So, did you enjoy the ceremony?"
"Yeah, it was great. Natsu was crying, the pansy-ass," Gray laughed, dodging out of the way of my jabbing elbow.
"Hey! There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting emotional at weddings!" I defended. Two familiar, warm arms wrapped around my shoulders.
"Yeah! You should listen to the lady, Gray. She's smarter than you," Natsu taunted. I smiled warmly, relaxing into his hold. He rested his chin on my shoulder, using me as a human shield.
"Like I don't already know that," Gray agreed, ruffling my hair slightly. "But don't think you'll get away with insulting me by complimenting your girlfriend."
Gray opened his mouth, most likely to let loose a jab, only to be tackled to the ground by a streak of blue.
"My love!" Juvia called, cuddling up to him. "You looked absolutely dashing as a groomsman! Juvia loves the suit. Oh, hi Lucy, Natsu!" she acknowledged us, waving slightly.
"Hi, Juvia," we intoned together, laughing.
"So, are you gonna go for the bouquet?" I asked, resting a hand on Natsu's arms, tapping twice. He immediately let me go, stepping to the side to give me space. A fire lit itself in Juvia's eyes.
"Oh yes," she practically hissed. "And Juvia is going to catch it. Juvia will be the next one to get married, mark her words!" she announced, standing tall and haughty. I couldn't help but laugh at how pale Gray's face had become.
"Maybe you should check in with your groom-to-be first, hmm Juvia?" Natsu advised, also laughing at Gray's expense.
We moved to our seats at the bridal table, cheering for the newlyweds and laughing at the speeches. Natsu's was fairly heartfelt, even if he did promise no one would even miss Bixlow if he ever hurt Lisanna. Cake was cut and consumed, and then the happy couple shared their first dance. As the rest of the guests joined them on the dancefloor, I rested my chin on my hand and observed. Lisanna was practically glowing, laughing as Bixlow dipped her. He brought her back up and pulled her close, whispering in her ear. She smiled softly as she listened, nodding along to whatever he was telling her. Sighing happily, I closed my eyes and let the feeling of peace wash over me.
When I opened them again, I found Natsu twirling Wendy around the floor. Her long blue hair was pulled up into an elegant bun, her pale pink dress caressing her like a gentle breeze. She was laughed, using both hands to spin them both around backward, their hands still connected. I giggled as I remembered the help teaching me that move when I was a little girl. Mrs. Spetto was particularly fond of doing that one while we danced to old Beetles records. I sighed again, focusing on my energetic boyfriend.
His pink hair was slightly disheveled from all of the dancing, his face pink from laughter. His hazel eyes sparked with mischief as he lifted Wendy high, spinning her around as he did so. His pale blue tie had loosened since the ceremony, though he had managed to keep it on at least. His eyes met mine and warmed, a smile sweeping across his lips. He whispered something to Wendy, then headed over in my direction.
"Good evening," he greeted me. He offered me a hand. "May I have this dance?"
I smiled as I took it, "Of course, good sir."
He led me to the middle of the dancefloor as a new song started. A familiar whistled tune filled my ears, and I relaxed into Natsu's embrace. This particular Shawn Mendes song was one of my favorites, even if it was a little inappropriate for a wedding. With one arm wrapped protectively around my waist and the other hand clutching mine, Natsu swayed us across the floor, singing the lyrics softly into my ear. My heart warmed pleasurably, and I felt tears build up behind my eyes. How had I gotten so lucky?
"Take a piece of my heart, and make it all your own, so while we are apart, you'll never be alone," Natsu serenaded me, his lips brushing against my ear. A shiver ran down my spine, and I leaned my cheek against his. I tightened my grip on his shoulder and hand, pulling him closer. Pulling his face away from mine, searched my eyes, concern filling his.
"Are you okay? What's wrong?" he asked, letting go of my hand to push a lock of hair behind my ear. I used my newly free hands to cup his face and bring it down to mine, giving him a feather-light kiss. He returned the gesture, brushing his smile against mine.
"When did I get so lucky?" I breathed, pressing my forehead to his and moving one of my hands to rest on his neck. His smile grew, and he rubbed his nose with mine.
"I should be asking you that," he said, nuzzling me further. I breathed a sigh of perfect contentment. "Would you change it?"
"What?" I asked, not quite following. Hadn't I just told him how lucky I felt?
"If you could go back, would you change anything?" he explained, looking deep into my eyes, keeping our foreheads connected. I thought for a moment, going back through the last three years of my life. To me, the answer was so simple.
"No."
He started to pull away slightly, but I held him in place.
"No, I wouldn't change anything. Every choice I've made, every experience I've had, brought me to this moment. They made me who I am today," I clarified, nuzzling his forehead with mine.
"Even the bad stuff?" His voice was small, and I knew exactly what he was thinking about.
"Yes, even the bad stuff. It is because of Dan and all of the terrible things that he did that I got to meet Levy, and Gajeel, and Gray, and Erza, and Juvia, and you. No, I'm not happy or proud that I shot him. I didn't want him to die," my voice wavered, tears threatening to fall. Natsu held me closer, apologies for bringing it up falling from his lips, but I silenced them with one finger. "But it…it…" I took a deep breath. "It is not my fault. I…I didn't ask for anything that happened. A wise person once told me that Dan didn't deserve me." I was shaking now. "And that I…I didn't deserve any of what happened."
Natsu held me so tightly, I was afraid I might break in half.
"I am so proud of you," he breathed, burying his face in my hair. "I know you don't completely believe that yet, but I will keep telling you that until you do."
I tightened my grip on him, letting him share part of the burden. A small hand rested on my shoulder, and I looked over to see Levy smiling at me. Gajeel's giant hand fell on top of my head, jarring me slightly. Gray rested his hand on my other shoulder, and Juvia held my hand tightly. I smiled through my tears, waving them all off good-naturedly. As Natsu and I danced to another song, whispering congratulations to Lisanna and Bixlow as they passed us (thank the gods that they didn't see my minor breakdown), I realized something. While I was nowhere near okay yet, I knew that I would be again someday. I wasn't alone anymore, and as I received another soft kiss from Natsu, something told me that I never would be again.
Juvia caught the bouquet. Gray promptly passed out.
And there you have it, guys! This has been a wild ride from start to finish, and while I never did get to everything I had outlined, maybe I will in the future. ;)
The final song is "Never Be Alone" by Shawn Mendes, which I view as the ultimate NaLu song, post 1 year timeskip. I heard it for the first time and was like, "This is totally Natsu singing to Lucy."
For anyone who has been following my weird real-life, my master's thesis proposal was accepted! So thank you so much to everyone who sent me encouragement and positivity about it! I was originally going to finish this story right after I have my proposal, but then things got crazy. I graduated with my Bachelor's degree yesterday, so I decided to sit down and finally put this story to bed. Y'all have been so wonderful with your feedback, and I look forward to writing more NaLu stories in the future.
I would like to give one last thank you to everyone who has reviewed, followed, and favorited this story since I posted the first chapter. You guys are the real MVPs, and I wouldn't have finished this story without you. Your warm words and encouragement of the story really kept me going, and so for that, I thank you.
Thank you for sticking with me till the end, and I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I did writing it.