JJ felt nothing..
No grief, no sadness, no pain..
It was like she had surrounded herself with big pillows that numbed her.
The world around her was moving. But she wasn't part of it.
She saw her mom stroke Bobby's arm.
A voice inside her head told her vaguely that she should feel something. Some emotion.
Before she knew it her body was moving.
Walking away from the scene.
It was as if her mind only realized this seconds later and had to chase after her body. Trying to keep up.

"JJ?" a voice in the distant got caught in the pillows and never reached her consciousness.

Her feet just kept moving.
This man had killed her mentor.
This man had murdered one of the persons she'd left from her hometown.
This man had killed all those other women. Every doubt it had disappeared together with Smitty's death.
This man had known his sister right before she committed suicide.
This man had threatened her mother!
But she would never, ever, let him touch her.
This ends tonight!
No matter what...

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She drove back home.
The one person she needed to see was her boss. Her boss who she had trusted all those years she worked with him. Trusted his intelligence, his skills.
Maybe he'd even have a name by now.
The fog in her head had faded.
The thought of her mom, the thought of Smitty and that of her sister sharpened her senses and focused her mind.
I will catch this man, she whispered to them.
Once she'd reached the drive lane, she quickly got out of the car and entered the house.

"Hotch?" she said with a voice that she didn't recognized as her own.

The living room was empty.
'Ofcourse, the guest room' JJ said to herself.

She ran up the stairs and opened the door.

"Hotch I.." the empty room cut off her sentence.

What was this? Where was Hotch?

She looked out of the window. His car was missing as well. Where did he go to?
An eerie, unsettling feeling crept up.

JJ reached for her phone.

Four missed calls and a text message.
She was able to breathe again. At least he had tried to contact her.
JJ clicked on them.
'Four missed calls: Will.' It said.

She bit the inside of her cheek.
Will! She had totally forgot about him.

JJ quickly read the text he had sent her.

"JJ, please talk to me. I don't know what's going on but don't shut me out. If you can call me, pls. I don't want to be this guy. We need to talk! Henry is fine btw."

Guilt entered her heart. Those last four accusing words poked in her conscience. Henry... she hadn't asked about him. She hadn't really thought about him. It threw her off her game. Confused she pushed it to the back of her mind.

She could deal with Will later, there were more pressing matters.

Hotch! Where was he?

JJ took a deep breath and dialed the number of her friend.

"Penelope Garcia" her voice radiated happiness to the other side of the line.

"Garcia, it's me JJ" she said unable to sound as cheerful as her.

"Oh JJ! How are you? So good to speak to you.. It's so boring without you here. You should hear what Reid.." she rattled.

"Garcia!" JJ sharply intervened "do you know where Hotch is?"

It was silent at the other end.

"What do you mean?" she said slowly, all the happiness in her voice was gone "are you guys together?" she asked confused.

"Garcia.." but this time JJ got cut off.

"Wait, are you working a case together? Why all the secrecy JJ?" her friend genuinely sounded hurt and disappointed.

It was time for JJ to come clean.

"Yes Garcia, it's a very personal case. Hotch came to help me. But now I need all of your help. I can't find Hotch.." her own words scared her.

"He called me this afternoon. I asked me to look at a few names for him. I gave the addresses of two men: Jason delGaro and John Roy Felton" Garcia's voice was drenched with worry.

"Okay sent me those addresses!"

"Ofcourse, but JJ I won't let you go alone! I'll sent the rest of the team to you guys. Please JJ don't go in alone" her friend pleaded desperately, but both knew that there was nothing she could do about it from behind her desk in Quantico.

"Garcia, if something is wrong, they will never be in time. I have to!" she hated herself for saying this to her friend.

"Be safe JJ! Stay on the phone with me okay?"

"Okay, I'll call you from the car. Can you trace Hotch's cell in the meantime?" she asked.

"Yes, yes of course, ofcourse" Garcia repeated.

They ended the call. And JJ rushed out of the house with only one thought on her mind: Oh God please not Hotch too!

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Left, right..
Left, right..
Something was dangling in front of his eyes.
Something beautiful..
A light, a shiny white light.
But it was all too blurry to make out what this beautiful light was.

"Aaron Hotchner"

His name, the light was saying his name.
He didn't want to close his eyes. He wanted to continue watching the beautiful light that hypnotized him in its movement from the left corner of his eye to the right.
But he had to close his eyes. His lids were too heavy.
For a second he gave in to the heaviness and let gravity pull down his eyelids.
A second that he immediately regretted.
A hard slap brought him back into reality.

"Aaron Hotchner!" a voice yelled at him "wake up!"

The aggressive tone triggered the memory of the SSA.

"John" he let the name roll out his mouth together with a moan.
It caused an irritated sigh from the man.

"Yes. You thought you'd found me, but you know that's not entirely true. See, I found you first" John said.

Hotch tried to focus on the thing before him. Slowly the blur faded and Hotch could see that what once seemed like a beautiful light was actually a knife.
Reaper...
He could still feel the pain from the stabs as if it was yesterday.
Such a sharp pain that had never found his equal in his life.
And there it was again.
A man kneeling next to him with a knife just a few inches from his face.

"You know I did some research on you, since you are Jenny's boss and all. And guess what I read. You where stabbed like a dozen times by a man that murdered your wife. Did it hurt?" he taunted.

Hotch didn't say a thing.
He tried to gather his strength.
John looked at him, waiting for an answer. When that didn't came he spat on him.

"Well it doesn't matter. I will find out soon " his tone was harsh like stone.

"I don't" Hotch had to catch his breath "I don't think Jenny will like that."

An empty high-pitched laugh filled the room.

"Well I think I'm going to do a lot of things that Jenny doesn't like."

A shiver was sent down his spine.

"If you touch her.."

"Don't!" John interrupted "don't act like some hero! You're not Jenny's hero. You don't mean nothing to her!"

"Oh no? I know her so many years, I know her far better than you will ever..."

A hard slap in his face shut him up.

"Know her? You know nothing about her! You don't know her smell, her past, her roots. She is mine!" the man frantically spit the words out. His eyes seemed like they could pop out. He held the knife closer to his throat.

"Okay, okay, she's yours.. But she is only second best isn't she?"

His body froze, his arm unable to move. Suspicion appeared in his eyes.

"What?" he said through his teeth.

Hotch swallowed, he didn't know if he was doing the right thing but he had to gamble and take the risk.

"You heard me. She wasn't your first choice, was she?"

His face twitched.

"Don't, don't" he stuttered, lost his balance, lost his arrogant attitude.

" Rosaline" Hotch said very slowly and clearly.

"Don't speak her name!" he hissed and closed his eyes. He lowered his knife, like the energy was drained.

"You loved her.." Hotch nudged.

He looked fierce at him, angry..

"You will never know how much I..." he stopped talking, as if he had reminded himself not to speak about this subject.

"But she didn't love you back did she?" Hotch kept pressing, kept throwing salt in the wound. He wanted to see him suffer.

The nervous twitches multiplied.

"She would rather die than be with you isn't that right?" he guessed.

Hotch closely observed the man in front of him. He brought his fists to his head and started banging them softly against it. The knife still attached to one of his hands. His ego taunted to the bone.

The focus was shifted from Hotch to the painful memories of John.

"And now you're seeking revenge. But you know you can never beat Rosaline. She stole that opportunity away. So now you're killing all these other women and girls, but none of them can satisfy you. The only one that can is Jenny. And even back then you failed in killing her little sister. A little girl. You couldn't even do that right.."

"Stop it!" he shook his head heavily "stop it, stop it!"

He dangerously lifted the knife when they were interrupted by a buzz.

Hotch held his breath and look to his right where the sound came from. It was his phone.

He breathed heavily. Closed his eyes. Pain was written all over his face. But then he relaxed. He straightened up, looked at the agent with a regained composure.

"The only reason I let you live, is because your death will draw too much attention. I planned this for a long time and I won't let anything disturb my moment with Jenny you hear me? So you take this call and you reassure everyone that you're okay. I don't care what you have to say. If you don't Jenny will pay for your mistake."

He handed over Hotch's phone.

He looked at it: Garcia.

"Put it on speaker" John hissed.

Hotch swallowed. Then took the call.

"Hey Garcia" he said trying to keep his voice normal.

"H-Hotch?" Garcia stuttered, stunned that he actually picked up the phone.

"Yes, what is up?" John slowly pushed the knife against his throat.

"Hotch, where are you? JJ and I got worried. I've send JJ the addresses of Jason delGaro and John Felton. She is heading there now to search for you" he barely heard what Garcia said next.

His heart skipped a beat. JJ couldn't come here! She couldn't walk into his trap.
John's mouth fell open. His eyes got a weird, excited expression.

"N-no Garcia" he swallowed, felt the cold metal against his flesh "I'm okay, you can call JJ back. I'm uhm heading home there was an emergency with Jack."

John warned him.

"Let her come" he whispered in his ear.