Batman had managed to get to the elementary school and deactivate the bomb in time, much to his relief. He was suitably annoyed, however, upon returning to the hospital, to find that Joker has disobeyed his instructions, and that Ricky Sorkin was dead. But to their credit, both Joker and Harley had stayed with the body until his return, and were led back to Arkham without protest.
Harley seemed very despondent for the next few days – she kept to herself, which was very unlike her. Normally she was spreading smiles and cheer throughout the asylum, bouncy and happy and carefree. But Jonathan Crane knew the reason for her depression – he had been dragged back to Arkham at around the same time, and when Harley finally entered the Rec Room at last, he was the first to rush over and greet her.
"Harley, if there's anything I can say or do to make up for…"
She held up her hand. "It's ok, Johnny. I know you didn't mean to hurt him, and I ain't angry at you. I ain't angry at anyone. What happened…to Ricky wasn't anyone's fault really…but it's made me realize some things. It's made me realize how important my friends are to me, and how important it is that I show 'em that I appreciate 'em," she said, hugging him suddenly. "I don't wanna lose another one," she murmured. "I don't wanna lose anyone close to me ever again."
Crane was utterly ecstatic, and held her against him for as long as possible, making the hug last for longer than it really should have. Harley pulled away at last, turning her attention to the Joker, who sat watching TV on the sofa.
"It's also made me realize how much I love my puddin'," she said, giving him a long and lengthy kiss. "I hope you didn't mind me needing some alone time, sweetie."
"Hell no!" he chuckled. "It was a relief not to have a needy dame clinging onto me all the time, demanding stuff and trying to be affectionate!"
"Well, get used to it, because I ain't gonna be alone anymore," she snapped. "You're stuck with me, pal, whether you like it or not!"
"Wow, Harley, that's a really great way to show people how much they matter to you," said Poison Ivy, sarcastically. "Tell them they're stuck with you no matter what."
"Well, at least it shows she cares!" chuckled Joker, patting Harley's head. "Personally I've found threats of death to be very effective ways of showing people how much I care about them. Gotta show the people close to you that you care, doncha, Pammie? Or else they might stray."
"Is that a hint?" asked Ivy, raising her eyebrows. "Because I don't care about you, J. You threaten me with death all you like."
"It was a hint, yeah," chuckled Joker. "But it wasn't meant to be about you and me. It was actually about you and Harvey."
"What about me and Harvey?" she asked.
"I just thought the reason he's taken in stray cats is maybe because you didn't show him you cared," said Joker, shrugging.
"Stray cats?" she repeated. "What the hell are you talking about? Harvey can get a pet if he wants one – I don't see what that has to do with me. Especially since we're not together anymore, and I won't have to deal with the pet."
"But you see this particular cat on such a regular basis!" giggled Joker. "I would think it'd be a little awkward."
Ivy seemed to realize what he was talking about suddenly, but that did nothing to lessen her confusion. "Wait…are you implying that Harvey and Selina are together now?"
"Well yeah, if you're gonna explain the joke," sighed Joker.
Ivy stared at him. "Are you being serious?"
"Well, this particular joke is only funny because it's true," said Joker, nodding.
Ivy said nothing. "Well, I don't care what they do," she sniffed at last. "It's no concern of mine. Harvey's single now. Selina's single. Good for them. Hope they're happy."
She was silent for about a minute. "Still, you think they could have told me," she muttered. "And y'know, it's pretty crap for a friend to date your ex. That's like an unwritten rule of womanhood, that you don't do that. I think I'm allowed to feel a little betrayed."
She put down her magazine suddenly. "And nobody betrays Poison Ivy," she growled. "Not again."
She slammed her fist down on the table. "Harvey's mine, dammit!" she shrieked. "I'll make that catty bitch pay for daring to sink her claws into him! And then I'll make him pay for letting her! Hope you've told Selina and Harvey how much you care about them, Harley, because they're both dead!"
She raced out of the Rec Room and Joker giggled, sitting back down on the sofa. "Ah, revenge is sweet, Harley girl," he chuckled. "I'm sure the ongoing feud between Selina and Pammie will more than make up for that terrible bedroom advice they gave you."
Harley nodded. "Maybe when we get outta here, we can try that whole romantic getaway thing again, huh, Mr. J?"
He chuckled. "No, no, no, pooh bear. I ain't leaving Gotham again anytime soon. Firstly because I don't want some random imposter taking my place again. And secondly because it's the only place that really makes me smile. Got my Batty nemesis, and my goofy girlfriend," he said, ruffling her hair fondly. "Plus plenty of boring, serious people who need me to cheer 'em up. What more could a guy ask for?"
"You're such a sweet, generous guy, puddin'," sighed Harley. "Always wanting to spread some smiles!"
"That's me, Harl," he agreed, nodding. "Selfless and heroic. Putting a smile on everyone's faces whether they want it or not! I tell ya, it's good to be the Joker. There's nobody on earth happier than me!"
"Except me, puddin'," she said, cuddling against him and beaming. "Except me."
The End