Chapter 7: Phoebe

Chandler & the Sperm Donor

Girls' nights weren't as usual as they used to be, what with Monica's married routine and Rachel having a daughter, so, at the moment, the little gathering the three women were having qualified as a girls' night in Phoebe's mind.

She wanted a happy, fun night, but when Phoebe had heard about Chandler and Monica's fertility problem a few days earlier, she figured it probably wouldn't be all that happy. She was surprised when she found out Monica was about to tell them good news though.

The girls were sitting in the couch while Monica faced them, sat at the coffee table, telling everything that had happened up until that moment. Turns out Phoebe didn't know many details about the fertility test; the couple was very private about a lot of things. The blond woman couldn't really understand that, as much as she tried. For a second, a little voice inside her head teased of course they are, their friends are always meddling and making fun of everything, but she dismissed the annoying voice by reassuring herself that Chandler and Monica were just weird.

Monica used that moment to pour everything over her friends, and Phoebe wondered why she wasn't desperately crying while telling them about the inhospitable environment that happened to be her uterus. It was just weird how calm she looked, considering Monica was known as the woman of the group that had baby fever. She must be all cried out by this point, Phoebe concluded, keeping the sad implications within the borders of her mind.

"So, we had a conversation after our appointment with Dr. Connelly. We decided not to give up, and Chandler asked me what options I wanted to try. I just told him I was okay with anything but surrogacy. I decided I should be honest, so I told him that seeing another woman carrying our baby would be just too painful."

"Ugh, Monica, I can imagine how terrible it would be for you", Rachel said as she rubbed her friend's arm in an attempt to somehow make everything less painful.

"Yeah…" Monica shrugged, looking down; her face could break anyone's heart.

"So, what did he say?", Phoebe was curious.

"Well, when I told him that, he automatically discarded that possibility, obviously." Monica took a deep breath and continued talking, "But then…" her bitter tone turned into a surprisingly fun one.

Phoebe looked at Rachel very discretely to find Rachel looking back at her; her friend had the same inquiring eyes she believed she was supporting. Monica was somehow oblivious to her friends' expressions – or maybe she just ignored that, expecting them to react that way. Phoebe would never know.

"Then, he went to work, I came home, and he called me to say he would bring a colleague for dinner, I said ok, he showed up with the guy, we were introduced… Anyway, everything was pretty normal. Then, out of the blue, Chandler turns to me and asks me" She cleared her throat to give her best Chandler impression "How would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his?"

"What?" Rachel and Phoebe said in unison, not able to hide their shocked faces.

"I know!" Monica was giggling.

She kept telling the story, laughing at all the crazy questions the couple had cascaded over the poor guy. Rachel and Phoebe just laughed along, well if she's laughing I guess it's okay to laugh.

At the end of the story, Monica had that face – that one face, with the biggest grin, the one she used to have whenever Chandler had surprised her by being unbelievably sweet.

"He told me he just went along with the sperm donor idea because he thought I wanted that." She had watery eyes, and at the point Phoebe's head was flooded with too many things to even react properly to anything. Rachel wasn't at the same situation though, a hand at her chest, clearly moved, but also asking Monica if she was sure about giving something like pregnancy up, to which Monica simply replied with "Yeah, I'm sure."

"Anyway, this leads me to the big news" Monica looked at her friends expectantly "We're going to adopt!"

Choruses of oh my god and this is so great came out of both women at the same time, the two of them touched and excited about the idea, moving forward to give Monica a hug. She looked so happy it was heartwarming. Rachel asked for more details about the process, but Phoebe was still sorting out all the information she had just gotten.

When she left Monica and Chandler's apartment building, she bumped into Chandler getting home from work.

"Hey, Pheebs." Oh, look, he looks much happier too.

"Hi, Chandler! Hey, Monica just told us about the big news! I'm very happy that you guys decided to adopt, this is so great."

He carried a smile that could light up the whole world while he hugged his friend. "I know." Chandler's voice was almost faint; it almost looked like he was touched too, even though the decision had been made the day before.

"Anyway, I'm leaving now, so see you guys tomorrow."

"See you, Pheebs!"

Phoebe chose the long way to get home, taking a slow walk on Central Park. She did that when she needed to think about things – her friends would never know how cramped her mind always felt.

Her head (and body) was a mix of very strange feelings. It had a bit of worry for her friends, a lot of hope that they would be able to get a baby soon, some bitterness for knowing that of all people Monica was the one unable to conceive even though she dreamed about that since ever, and, as much as she didn't want to admit, she felt a little (a lot) guilty too.

Chandler had offered Monica the possibility of getting pregnant by another man. That was unbelievable; except it wasn't unbelievable at all. Of course he would. Since the very beginning Chandler had done everything he could to make Monica happy. He had even faced his biggest fears because of her, he had had the guts to give up a career he hated because of her, and he was ready to do anything to have kids because of her. Trying to find a man so that the love of his life could fulfill her earliest, most important wish? That was just the cherry on top. Monica hadn't mentioned it, but knowing Chandler Bing for so long, Phoebe assumed he probably thought that getting pregnant by another guy was much better than getting pregnant by him.

Reluctantly, Phoebe thought of all the moments she hinted at Monica that she could do better than Chandler, and those memories went straight through her heart, like a sharp knife, a feeling she knew was akin to the one she would have after eating a hundred cows. He really didn't deserve that; he's always doing the best he can. He really loves her. Phoebe stopped her track to look at the sky. The moon was beautiful, and she thought about David (Mike) and wondered if the scientist (pianist) would ever do anything like this for her. Maybe one day I'll find my Chandler, she chuckled at how ridiculous that would sound if said out loud and just kept walking.