This is torture

Serah sat on her bed mulling over all that Fate had told her. For one, how she'd had family here, a mother and a sister who had sadly died. It made her depressed to think how they were both gone; she may not have known them but having the possibility of having living family taken away from her as soon as she learned of their existence wasn't a nice pill to swallow.

Letting her gaze drift other her vacant room, Serah twiddled her fingers, thinking her way through the subject. Some of her first questions were about the exact details of her dead relative's deaths, despite knowing she'd never get them. Another was who her utterly unmentioned father had been. Though given the kind of place she had evaluated Pulse to be, she wasn't sure she wanted the answer.

Stretching her legs out, another line of thought trespassed into her mind. She wanted to know who Fate was. In fact, she wanted to know why the girl talked of Fang in such a personal manner. Going down that lane, each want she thought up became more and more dominant over the other as they accumulated. As it went on frustration began to bloom in her chest. She wanted to know why Fate wanted to help Fang so much. She wanted to know what was wrong with Fang in the first place. She wanted to know what had been done to Fang to make her so twisted! She wanted to know who had done it! What had done it! And most of all she wanted to know what the hell kind of world she was in that could do that to someone in the first place!

Screaming in frustration Serah grabbed her pillow and threw it at the wall. Clutching her hands she fell into a kneeling position, and took in deep breaths to calm herself. She'd made herself angry over the slightest provocation, she knew, but she couldn't give a damn. She'd been angry ever since Pulse's heads had denied her the information she wanted because it was "unneeded". This was her finally snapping. She knew who she was now, somewhat, but now that she did, Serah found that there was so much more information she was after. Much, much more. Knowing who she was wasn't anything to knowing what the hell was going on. And as it turned out, in her mind the mystery that was Fang had taken dominance. Something told her that the woman knew more than she wished to say on the subject of Serah's questions. She was a complete ball of confusion. Serah knew next to nothing about her, truly the foremost of her facts on her was her physical appearance. But that's a pitiful amount considering it quite literally takes a look to memorise.

Gnawing on her lip as she thought, Serah went through all that she knew of Fang in her head. She'd introduced herself as a woman called Atla, wore a disguise so that Serah only truly found out what she looked like when she had gone to her apartment. She had problems, big problems. She had a drug addiction. She was an agent of Pulse, and had some connection to some strange girl called Fate. Closing her eyes Serah truly appreciated just how pathetic her knowledge of the woman called Fang was.

Opening her eyes, the words echoed throughout her mind, 'Truly pathetic.'

As another thought slowly came to life in her mind, Serah mulled it over, and it wasn't so long after that that she'd slipped off her bed and her feet began moving her to the door. Twisting the knob, Serah let herself outside. The halls were filled with noisy agents, but Serah paid them no mind as she pushed through them. It didn't even hit her that she hadn't thought to lock her door. She reached the elevator and waited for it to open, then stepped inside.

There were questions that she wanted answered.

…:…

Lying on her bed, Fang stared up at the ceiling. It hadn't been a good day in her books, though she doubted it would be in anyone else's either. Serah's re-induction into Pulse and the tormenting reverie her mind dreamed up were the biggest of the mars. Another was simply the ever present enemy that was her mind. On days like this, she wished to be lying on grass, it might sound weird, but it reminded her of the fields of Oerba. The fields were lovely patches of green that spread as far as the eye could see. It almost brought a smile to her face to remember all the times the caretakers of the orphanage had found her and Vanille asleep in the soft blades of green, lullabied into dreams by the heat of the sun. This bed wasn't good enough to calm her. Smiling bitterly she thought cynically just how easily she had added another negative to her day. How much she hated this land.

Shifting onto her side she tried like all the other days to stop thinking of all the bad things, try to think of something nice for a change. But like all the other days the result was the same, the more she thought about it the more the bad clung on. It was unbanishable.

Though, as she found out in a few more minutes time, it wasn't her own inner battling that stopped her thinking about the dark side of today, it was the opening on her door. But only to banish to the small troubles of today and throw her into the hell of the past.

Cursing, she sat up, deciding that she really should listen to Fate's reminders to lock her door. As the door opened she was surprised to see it wasn't who she thought it was going to be at all. Not in the slightest.

"Serah." The name left her lips with a touch of hostility, and the girl who now stood before her bed hardened her face to bare it. Seeing the intention written on Serah's face Fang figured that the girl wouldn't be frightened away by simple words, actions either, if she gauged the strength of her opponent right. So she ventured to ask, "What are you doing here?"

Serah swallowed over a lump in her throat and replied unsteadily, "I want to know who you are."

'I want to know who you are.'

Like an echo, those words rang though Fang's mind, and she froze like a deer in the headlights. Her mind registered a slight sense of confusion, but another feeling of striking familiarity ruled it out. Staring at Serah, Fang was hit with a sense of deja vu and for an instant she wasn't in her room, but somewhere else, a long time ago.

Too much to bear she turned away, clutching at her chest anxiously in an effort to reclaim her calm. Coming back down from her fright, she flashed a glance at Serah in the corner of her eye. The girl was confused by her sudden reaction, and it wasn't long before she questioned, "What is it?"

"Nothing," Fang lied, "It's just that you're not the first person to ask me that."

Serah remained confused, but chose not to question Fang further. Calm enough now that she could think clearly, Fang turned back to face Serah, "You've met Fate haven't you."

"Huh." Serah blinked, "How'd you figure that?"

"Because you wouldn't have asked me that if you hadn't, you would have asked who you were. And if I'm not mistaken, I never told you which room was mine." Fang replied. Seeing Serah take in that knowledge, she continued, "I also knew that if you were ever to come back here she would seek you out and," Fang paused, even with much trying her next words still came out unsteady, "I knew she would have told you about Light. And Rosalie, and how they died, and finally me. She'd never leave you without telling you something about me."

"She wanted me to help you." Serah mumbled weakly.

Fang looked up at her like she'd guessed as much, "Yeah that'd be it, she's always wanted me to stop being so dark. Not that she's ever managed much."

Staring at her like she'd said something wrong, Serah told her scoldingly, "You shouldn't talk of someone trying to help you like its wrong."

Fang shrugged, "So I've been told, by Fate and others, but if you must know I've long stopped caring for kind words. People can try to help me if they want, but I couldn't even give a crap for the sentiment anymore."

Pulling a face, Serah walked forward and kneeled down by the end of the bed, "Why aren't you the pessimist?" She mumbled indignantly. Ignoring her comment, Fang watched her intently, wondering what her next move was going to be.

Half looking at Fang, half looking at the bed end, Serah questioned her absently, "Fate, she talked of you so personally, who is she to you, a friend?"

"No" Fang answered as soon as Serah had spoken the words, "Not a friend, a docheryami."

"A what?" Serah quickly spurted out.

Giving her a look, Fang denied her a proper answer, "I have no reason to explain that to you, a docheryami is a docheryami, simple as that."

Serah pulled a face, "Well you're a hard one to deal with aren't you?"

"So are you if I've guessed right. Seeing as your still here I'm going to say you've decided that you're not going to be frightened off and are intent on getting what you want out of me." Fang said irritably.

"Of course." Serah replied in turn, "I want to know what made you the way you are now, what happened to you to do this."

Turning hostile at a moment's notice, Fang shot back, "I have no intention of telling you."

"And I have no intention of leaving; tell me what happened to you!" Serah countered ten times stronger.

"In your dreams." Fang spat.

Standing up, Serah cut an ominous figure as she stood over the bed and responded, "You'll have to do better than that if you want to scare me away. Tell me what happened to you!"

Snapping, fury lit up in Fang's eyes and she lurched over the bed to grab the front of Serah shirt and pull her in close, "This has nothing to do with you, you have no right to ask me this, you little hag-"

She was cut short as a powerful slap to her cheek sent to her reeling sideways.

Clutching her cheek Fang got back up to look at her assailant. Serah stood over her now equally, if not more furious, than Fang herself had been a moment ago. Staring up at her wide eyed Fang could do no than cover her ears as Serah exploded in a fit of rage.

"And what right do you have to call me a hag you bloody cry baby! So what if you have problems, so what if you don't want to tell me it? What will locking it all inside ever do but destroy you! I don't care if you don't want to tell me, I'm not giving you a choice!"

Staring back frightened, Fang let out a measly "No."

Calming down, Serah sucked in a breath, "I thought I told you that it wasn't your call to make." Watching on as Fang continued to stare away from her in stubbornness, Serah went on, "For starters, will you tell me what your relationship with my sister was. You stare at me like you're looking at a ghost; I highly doubt there could be anyone you're seeing in me but her."

Sneaking a sidewards glance at Serah, Fang let up on her stubbornness ever so slightly, making a strange arm gesture that waved a hand with clamped fingers up and down in front of her face, she mumbled, "These are not things we say in words."

Nodding, choosing not to be confused by Fang actions, Serah chose to speak another question, "Well how about this? The word docheryami is foreign, where do you come from?"

This caught Fang's attention, and the woman's eyes locked on to Serah the instant the words had left her mouth. They had the strangest look in them, but Serah did her best to brave it out instead of cowering under the overpowering look. Many moments passed by in that fashion until finally Fang's stare loosened up and she answered in a wavering voice, "It's Oerban."

Now it was Serah's turn to be caught off guard. Oerban, she said Oerban. If she had said anything other than that she would have been able to take it easy, but Oerban, that was just too impossible to believe. "You're Oerban!" she yelled in disbelief.

Fang nodded, "Yeah."

Running a hand though her hair, Serah tried to grab hold of her thoughts as they raced through her head. "Oerban ok," she mumbled to herself, "didn't expect that, nope nada, not at all.

Watching Serah freak out, Fang interrupted her weakly, "Is it really that strange? You don't have to react like that you know."

"Yes I do!" Serah shot her down, coming closer and kneeling back by the bed end, "You're Oerban Fang, Oerban. You come from the most isolated continent on the planet!" Letting her sentence hang in the air something important hit her like a tonne of bricks. How. How did she get here from the most isolated continent on the planet?

Realising this, it was almost with fear that she asked "Fang, how did you get here from Oerba?"

Fang bit her lip, and Serah half wished that she could take back her words for how much they upset Fang, but she didn't because the question had to be asked. When Fang looked back up to her, Serah was surprised to see tears in her eyes. Not enough to even fall, but tears nonetheless. She had never seen Fang cry.

"Cocoon." The woman said, voicing the evil words with hate. Serah had to harden her resolve as tears began streaming down Fang's face. Haunted eyes shone dimly as she breathed the next part of her tale. "They burned everything, the whole village. Everyone died, and then they took us."

"Us, Fang who's 'us'." Serah cut in, hoping that Fang could register it, for wherever she was now it wasn't here. A part of Serah wanted to be proud that she'd manage to trick her into telling her everything, but the rest was just scared of those eyes. Those haunted eyes that spoke of a distant hell.

"Vanille." Fang muttered, in a tone void of emotion. Blinking to clear her eyes of the tears she began again. "I remember thinking that I saw hell in those flames, but I didn't know hell. Cocoon was the true hell. I found little solace there; Vanille and Jihl were my only comfort. I served that Corporation for ten years, I killed many people at their orders, and my hands will never be clean again. They are blood soaked evil because of them." Closing her eyes, Fang finally began to sob, and emotion seeped into her words at last. "I defected from them, and I left Vanille unprotected doing so, and now she's dead because of me Serah, dead. It's all my fault; I should have never left her."

Breaking down sobbing, Serah climbed onto the bed and wrapped her arms around her, cooing her softly she patted her back soothingly, "Shuu, it's ok sweetie, it wasn't your fault, you can't control life and death. It is something out of our control."

Holding the crying Fang in her arms until she was calm enough to talk again, Serah asked her softly, "What happened then sweetie, what happened when you came to Pulse?"

Holding back another sob, Fang answered falteringly, "Then I met her, Light."

"And what happened with Light then?" Serah asked, but Fang struggled in her arms when she asked the question and answered strongly,

"I don't want to talk about her."

Patting her hair softly as she held her, Serah jumped to another question, "Then can you tell me what else happened at Pulse sweetie?"

Resting her head in Serah's lap, the emotion faded from Fang voice once more and her eyes took on that haunted look again. "Pulse were nicer than Cocoon, bad not kinder. They sent us on a mission a couple months after I came here, me and Light, as well and ten others. It was practically a suicide mission."

Doing her best to keep a straight voice Serah asked. "And what happened on this mission sweetie?" Whatever Fang was going to tell her now had to be one of the major reasons for all her problems. She just hoped she was strong enough to hear it all.

The memory was alive behind Fang's eyelid as she sucked in a breath to steady herself. Opening her mouth she began to speak.

…:…

Blood dripped down the side of her face. Everything that could go wrong had. They had split up at the half way point like planned, with Light taking one group and her the other. But it had all been for nothing. Cocoon's people had been lying in wait, she didn't know how, she didn't know why, but they had known they were there. They had been tipped off somehow, whether it had been from some slip up during the mission or from a spy it didn't matter. Because half of her squad had been killed, and her and the two last remaining members were tied and bound as they were led deep into the bowels of Cocoon's Eden HQ.

Fang blinked as a drip of blood slivered down her eyelid. She felt pain from every inch of her body. She had been beaten raw with a metal pole, the two beside her no different. The two men that had been in the group were the unlucky ones; they had been killed almost as soon as the battle started, for the men who captured them made it obvious that they had no interest in them. The lone girl who had met her death had only done so because she had been killed in the heat of battle. They hadn't meant to kill her; they wanted to keep the girl's alive they said, they screamed better.

Their words chilled Fang, for she knew that they could only indicate one thing. She could fight the tugging chains held by her captives or even just stop walking completely, but it wouldn't halt their journey to where they were taking them. Their destination was an inevitable part of their future.

Fang blinked and the memory fast forwarded. She was thrust into a dank cell in some dark hallway far below ground level that was filled with the dismal stone structures. A man came in with her and forced her to the ground. He grabbed a pair of shackles that were connected to the ground and bound Fang's hands above her head. Grabbing the shackles by her feet he did the same with them before leaving the room and baring the door behind him.

Left alone, a solitary tear trickled down Fang's face. She knew what this place was, it was the torture chambers. The chambers that were built below all Cocoon HQs to torture Pulsian prisoners, either for information, or just for the sake of giving them a slow death. Biting her lip a single thought came to Fang before her weariness overwhelmed her.

She hoped Light was safe.

The next Fang woke many hours had passed. She had no device to tell her the time, or a window for light, but her weariness had subsided completely. The only problem, her body still ached horribly, and the slightest movement made it flare up in pain. Pulling uselessly on her bounds, she tested them. They held strong, far stronger then she had wished they would, but they weren't completely restrictive. She could still move somewhat with them, but no vast amount. Playing around with the shackles a little longer, she let her arms fall back to the ground. Closing her eyes to the stone room, she was made to open them again when she heard the sound of the door opening.

A figure walked closer to her from the doorway, but in the dim light she couldn't make out their features until they were right up close.

Her eyes widened as she recognised the man before her, "Rosch." she croaked, cursing how dry her throat had become without her noticing.

The man smiled, and took in the sight of the woman he held captive with glee. "Nice to see you too Fang, it's been awhile hasn't it?" He gave her a self-satisfied smile and laughed. He laughed, laughed and then laughed some more. Grinning he snarled, "Do you know for how long I've dreamt of doing this to you, having you at my whim. I could just slit your throat right now and be done with it."

Baring her teeth Fang glared back at the vile man with all the hate she possessed. In return he smirked, "Oh don't think I'm going to kill you, not at all, in fact-" he said kneeling down so that he lent over fang's chained body, "I think I'm going to have some fun with you."

He smiled evilly as Fang's eyes widened in realisation of what he was about to do. Struggling in her bounds she screeched in her panic, "No, no!"

"Words will do nothing to help you in this situation Oerban rat." Slipping his fingers insides the rim of Fang's pants and slowly pulled them down, Rosch ran his hands across her soft skin. Letting go of them when they got to her knees, he leaned forward and slid his hands behind her back. Struggling violently in his hold, Fang felt tears well up in her eyes. She didn't want this, anything but this; she would have taking getting shot in the head better than this. Anything but rape.

She flinched as the man placed a kissed on her neck. She tried to pull away from him but he held her in place. He hands worked their way back to her front and he tore her shirt open. Slipping his hand into her shirt he unclasped her bra and tore it off straps and all and flung it across the room. Groping her exposed breast with one hand, he started sucking on her neck, gradually working his way down to her chest. Slowly, he began to undo his fly.

Sobbing Fang pulled with all her might against the chains that held her, futilely, she yelled though her tears, "Stop, please stop I don't want this!"

Raising his lips from where they had found themselves sucking her tit, Rosch smiled, and whispered evilly, "And why would I do that Fang? I'm having too much fun." To re-enforce his hate to stop he pulled his face close to Fang's, "Too much fun indeed." And grabbed the back of her head and forced his tongue inside her mouth.

Screaming as his tongue explored the insides of her mouth, Fang began her struggles anew. Ignoring his victim's thrashes, the vile man began to strip his pant off, underwear and all. Throwing them away once he was rid of them, he let go of Fang for a second to take his shirt off. Now completely naked the man ripped off what was left of Fang shredded shirt, lifted her up and dived into her cleavage. Sucking on her breasts one of his hands roamed downward to grope her ass. Whimpering as she felt Rosch's hard manhood press into her, more tears began streaming down Fang's face. So far gone was she now that words were almost beyond her, "P-please don't." She sobbed brokenly.

Smiling like always Rosch lowered her back to the ground and held her arms above her head, "And what did I say about how I was having too much fun to stop Fang?" That said he began grinding his hips against hers.

Slowly, sensually did Fang feel him coming inside her. Sobbing desperately she repeated like a broken record, "Stop please, I don't want this, I don't want this."

"You've already said that Fang." Rosch dismissed her lightly. Grunting as he sped and thrust himself inside her.

She screamed when she felt his hot sexual organ come inside her. Whimpering she was too worn out to struggle further when Rosch let go of her arms. Leaning over her again Rosch's hand wandered all over her body, fondling her breast as his lips braced her neck and sucked, groping her ass and his tongue found its way back into Fang's mouth. Every inch of her body did he explore as he thrust his manhood in and out, in and out. He moaned as his tongue played with Fang's.

Fang blinked though her tears, she felt a sensation in her abdomen building and no matter how she fought, nothing stopping Rosch as he continued to thrust himself inside of her. She screamed as a sudden striking pain flared up from somewhere deep inside her. It made every thrust of his dick agony and she hissed in pain with every motion. But it didn't deter Rosch in the slightest, if anything, he sped up. And just as the pain was subsiding something worse happened. The feeling in her abdomen climaxed and with a final trust Rosch came inside her. Moaning in pleasure as he climaxed he dug his nails into her breast. Fang could find no strength in her to anything but scream.

Lying on top of Fang, panting, Rosch pulled himself out of her. Catching his breath he retrieved his clothes. Dressing fully the man got up and so to strip Fang of her last remaining dignity, he tore her pants off from around her knees. Leaving her completely naked, with nothing to cloth her but his saliva and cum.

Picking up Fang's torn clothes up from the floor of the cell Rosch went to leave, bidding her goodbye with the parting words, "I had fun today Fang, I'll definitely be back tomorrow." Then he walked through the door and left.

All alone Fang could do nothing but cry. She had let that man touch her! Touch her god damn it! He had come inside her and fucked her! Sobbing she berated herself for not being able to stop what which she couldn't. Staring up at the blank ceiling a tear dripped down at her face as she thought.

He had ruined her, completely ruined her.

The memory flashed forward again, so fast that only bits and pieces were legible. She saw the times when she was tortured for information that she refused to give them no matter how hard they drew the lash across her back. All the times Rosch had come to her cell periodically and raped her. The time he had horrified her by coming into her cell and dropping a lock of pink hair on her chest, telling her that that pink haired slut was dead. He hadn't even raped her that day; she had been too hysterical to attempt. There were others things too, vague things that she couldn't remember properly. Black points she called them, blanks in her memory where the only thing left of what was there was the knowledge that there had been something there. Nothing more. The black spots scared Fang, for without even knowing how she became sick, really sick, and angry and all sorts of other emotions that she couldn't even name.

And then on one day something in her snapped and she tore her chains from the ground. Then she strangled the man who came in to see what was happening. So they cut her leg off as punishment and burned the end of it to stop the bleeding. But she stole the fire and burned off the face of the man that did it. And taking the flame with her she escaped her cell after seven months of imprisonment. She didn't get too far though being out a leg, her hobbling injured body could only get her so far. But the Gods smiled upon her in the form of a man from the science department who went against Cocoon and sided with his integrity. He was a good man, who when he met her decided against handing her back to the torturers and imminent death, and instead helped her escape.

He took her to a secret safehouse of his. As it turned out he wasn't the most average Cocoon employee, and had helped many Pulsian spies who were injured in the past. But it was no disloyalty that fuelled those actions, just a good heart. When he took her to this safehouse he introduced himself as Cid. He also had a wife, a pretty woman with glasses called Shera. They took care of her, they couldn't do much for her sickness, but Cid created a bionic leg for her. As it was, bionics happened to be his specialty. It was just her luck that it had been him to find her, anyone else and her death would have been most likely sealed.

Unfortunately, new limb and all, her sickness only got worst. Until finally, Cid and Shera were forced to hand her back over to Pulse to help her. It was against her wishes, because by this point she couldn't give a crap about living or dying, but they didn't want her to die, so they went against her. Even at Pulse she wasn't much better off, and her sickness continued to worsen until it became her usual routine to slip in and out of a coma. It was just in the nick of time that they located the chemical in her blood that was making her ill. They all said it must have been planted there when she had been in the torture chambers, but she couldn't remember anything like that happening. So she put it down to being one of the black points.

After that she got better, and by the time she had recovered enough to form words many of her friends had gathered around her bed side. The memory was clear in her mind when she told them all that she wanted to die. It shattered all worlds, for she had been the last person they'd think would be saying things like that. No one but Cid came to visit her after that. It hurt a little at the time but she didn't care too much.

Soon she was released from hospital, and allowed to live life normally. But she would never be able to live normally again. Not after what happened to her, not after when getting raped multiple times a day by an uncountable number of different men became common place. Not after getting tortured til she succumbed to the pain and passed out. Not after that. Never again would she be sane.

Pulse offered her no help; they just branded her as a broken agent and cleaned their hands of her. If they gave her missions she'd do it, but no more, no less. In fact the only thing that stopped her from going to the roof and jumping off was one day when Cid came into her room with Fate.

He sat her down on the bed in front of her and told her, 'If Light was no longer around to be her mother, than why couldn't she be so in her place.'

…:…

Serah held Fang as the woman sobbed in her arms. Closing her eyes she laid her head atop Fang's. She'd always wondered what had damaged her so that she was the person she was today.

Now she knew.