I take a sip of coffee, flipping the page of a book I'd found under alternate Evy's old bed. I'd been sort of delighted to know that the T.A.R.D.I.S let me find it this morning. She's still cross with me, as evidenced from the suddenly bright flashing lights all around my ceiling in the dead of night, so when I found it, I took it as a bit of an apology. It's called A Brief Guide to the Universe's Shiga Toxins. It's moderately interesting, or at least the pictures of bacteria and tissues and such are. Jenny sits across from me at the shiny metal table, arms crossed, tapping her foot so rapidly, I wonder if she's going to pop a vein.

"Careful, you don't want to take off into deep space without us, there." I say, taking another sip of coffee, and she stops tapping, letting out a sigh. She ruffles her pixie-short red hair, somehow making it look even better.

A talent she's acquired from her dad, I think.

I shut down the memories of rumpled chocolate hair before they can even begin.

"Where is Calix? He's taking forever. He's an early bird, he never sleeps in this late, and I want to get going! There's so much we could do!" Jenny says, and I shrug.

"He'll be up soon, I'm sure." I say, and right as I flip the next page, lo and behold, Calix comes through a doorway that had appeared from the back of the room. I slowly shut the book, and take in his… peculiar state of appearance.

"Calix, you look terrible." Jenny says, and he lets out a huff, rubbing his eyes and picking a piece of straw from his dark hair, "Like… Really terrible."

"Oh, that's just the absolute cherry on top after the night I've had. Thank you, Jenny." He says bitterly, running a hand over his dark hair, plucking the straw out, "This ship is a nightmare!"

"Wait, what? Why? I think she's amazing!" Jenny says, and he lets out a single, loud laugh.

"The ship! This thing," He says, gesturing to the floor, then to the ceiling, "It has it out for me. Every time I went through a doorway, it just… It was the same thing over and over. Like a broken record!"

"Which room did she loop you into?" I ask, bringing the coffee to my lips.

"The stable, with the boys!"

I snort a little, spitting back into my mug, because I know exactly why the T.A.R.D.I.S. was doing that.

"Yeah so funny, you try sleeping in the hay with an agitated pair of pygmy goats and a grumpy alpaca. I was trapped like… Like…" He sputters, then lets out a defeated sigh when he sees our amusement.

Me thinks her Time Lord is suspicious of his daughter's friend.

"Like a rat?" I say, wiping the coffee off my chin, and Jenny clears her throat to hide her laughter.

"Oh, I wouldn't say a rat! That sounds more… buggy, like a fly, or an ant. Fragile things, insects. Easily taken care of…" I hear the Doctor's voice from the doorway leading to the console room. It's light and joking, but something tells me that's not what he's going for.

Oh, please, not the overbearing-daddy-dearest act. You've got to be kidding me.

I see Calix's eyes narrow ever so slightly, his expression hardened.

I feel the Doctor stand behind me, and then his hands are on my shoulders, his cheek next to mine, seemingly snooping on my choice of reading. I try to keep my mind from reacting too strongly to his touch.

I don't want you to know just yet.

How much power you could have over me, that is…

"The T.A.R.D.I.S didn't mean anything by it, I'm sure, though. Right, Evy?" He says, giving my tense shoulders a light squeeze.

"Yeah, she just gets… overprotective sometimes. Makes her act like a complete moron." I say pointedly, bringing the mug to my lips to take another sip before I see my own spit hovering on the surface.

Right… Eww…

"Why do you all keep talking about this ship like it's a person? It's creepy…" Calix says, sidling into the seat next to Jenny. The Doctor releases me from his gentle grasp and sits next to me, giving me a wink so quick and subtle, I have to watch his face for a sign it really happened.

You are ridiculous. Playing pranks on a man 1/900th your age, like an overzealous toddler…

"Because she practically is. She's sentient, the T.A.R.D.I.S is. Our caretaker, our home, our provider. She's one of my best friends… Or, she was when…" I say, trailing off into a mutter, letting my gaze drop from the Doctor's, "Anyway the point is, you treat her like a person, got it? She just communicates differently, that's all."

"Got it… I just didn't know a ship could be sentient! That a Time Lord thing?" Calix says, and the Doctor scoffs.

"Well it's not a human thing, I can tell you that. Wouldn't expect the likes of you to understand."

Calix opens his mouth to say something, eyes locked on the Doctor, but apparently decides otherwise, fiddling his thumbs agitatedly. His tired gaze holds more than a hint of anger.

The Doctor smirks, leaning back in his chair and propping his feet up on the table, seeming pleased at Calix's silence; A tiny battle he's won against this unworthy suitor to his daughter.

I give him a disapproving sidelong glance, frowning.

I swear… If I have to sit through this much longer, I think I'll choke on the 'macho' in the air.

"Yes, it's a Time Lord thing. Bigger on the inside, sentient, all of that junk." I say, smacking the tops of his lace up boots, and he begrudgingly slides them back onto the floor where they belong.

"Dad?" Jenny says after a strange moment of silence across the table.

"Hmm?"

She blinks a few times, taking a deep breath.

"I just… I can't help but notice you don't seem to… Well, you're not acting very welcoming towards Calix." She says, her delicate eyebrows knitting together in frustration.

"Not true, I gave him his very own customized bedroom and everything!" He says, keeping his face completely straight, blank of the amusement I can feel oozing between the cracks in my mental walls.

"She's not an idiot, love." I mutter, fiddling with my hair when I realize what I've called him.

He doesn't seem fazed in the slightest.

"I'm just looking out for you. I don't know him, he could be one of the Slitheen, or a very believable hologram, or-"

"I would never hurt Jenny, if that's what you're implying!" Calix says, standing up from his chair, and the Doctor does the same, leering aggressively over the table towards the poor boy.

"I don't know that! All the things I've seen over the years, if there's one thing I've learned, it's to never trust the ones you love with strangers." He growls, and Jenny stands up, leaving me as the last sane one in the room. I swallow nervously, all the excited, feverish emotion brushing up against my mind enough to make me want to run a marathon.

Note to self: One angry Time Lord, I can handle. Two?

Maybe a little much.

"I know him, though! I know him, and I think I'm intelligent enough to pick someone at least trustworthy, thank you!" Jenny says furiously, her face becoming a shade of red to rival her hair, "And who are you to tell me who I can be with, anyway?"

"I'm your dad, that's who, and it's my responsibility to make sure you're safe!" The Doctor says, and I sink down into my chair as my feeble little walls struggle to hold out the mental shouting match they seem to be having.

How did this turn from a quiet breakfast with a book into an alien screamfest?

"And where have you been the last 50 years? Hmm? Where were you when I first changed bodies? Where were you when I was confused and alone and lost?" Jenny shouts, and I cringe as a few of her thoughts leak through into my mind, images of bright regeneration light, screeching metal, and the beeping of a crashing ship.

The memory tastes like fear and solitude.

"I didn't know-"

"Exactly, and you still don't know! You're just so afraid to let people in, so afraid that you refused to believe in me! All you had to do was wait, but you left me on that planet because you didn't want to believe I could be like you! You were a coward who didn't know, and you still are!" Jenny shouts, gesturing in exasperation to me, and I slouch, wishing she'd leave me out of this.

Okay, so the family problems run deeper than I thought…

Suddenly the cloister bell begins ringing.

"What's that?" Calix pipes up, and I get to my feet, glad to be given an excuse to leave. Brushing past a rather stricken Doctor, frozen in place, I rush into the console room, planting myself in front of the diagnostic panel, but…

My hands flutter uselessly over the brand new buttons and levers.

I have no idea how to work you anymore, old girl…

I grasp the monitor and bring it around to face me.

I can hear the Doctor's voice still coming from the kitchen, with Jenny fuming over him.

Honestly, Calix seems harmless to me! What's his problem?

I wonder…

You know what? No. I need to focus on whatever this issue is with the T.A.R.D.I.S.

"Uhh… Interactive Vocal Command… 72?" I say uncertainly, and instead of a diagnostic report, a movie begins to play on the monitor. Two knights are fighting.

"Tis but a scratch!"

"A scratch? Your arm's off!"

I can't help the incredulous laugh that escapes me.

Really, was Monty Python important enough to program as a vocal command?

"Okay, different one, different one, let's try… Interactive Vocal Command 27!"

Thankfully, the two knights disappear, and the diagnostic report shows up on the screen. I don't understand all of it, but the points I can understand tell me that we're in for a bit of a wild ride.

The time rotor and vortex thrusters have started up on their own.

I let out a weary sigh.

"Everyone, you'd best shut up and hold on to something!" I shout, and the squabbling from the kitchen stops.

The Doctor only has time to walk through the doorway into the console room before it lurches around us.

"What did you do?!" He shouts, latching onto the railing and holding on for dear life. I tumble backwards from the console, towards the stairs leading to the first floor level of the room.

Well, shit.

My hands grasp in front of me uselessly for anything to hold on to, but it's all in vain. I tumble backwards down the stairs, rolling and bumping my head against the stairs a few times before coming to a stop at the bottom of the short little staircase. I remain curled up on the humming metal floor until the T.A.R.D.I.S has finished her temper tantrum, or whatever this is.

"Evy! You alright?" The Doctor calls, and I hear his footsteps across the metal above me. I rub my head, groaning in response.

"Good. Jenny?"

"Fine." I hear her curt voice.

"What was that?" Calix asks, and I lift my head, peering through my hair up towards the console.

"She took her own course of action, for whatever reason. I couldn't stop her, I don't know how to do anything on the new console…" I say, getting to my feet and fixing my rumpled clothes.

"Why, though? It's extremely rare, especially with an older model, for a T.A.R.D.I.S to fly itself." The Doctor says, and I drag myself back up the stairs to stand behind him as he flurries about the console.

"Is it? She's always seemed independent enough to me…" I mutter, stretching my now sore body.

"Fly itself? Where are we, then?" Calix says, but the Doctor ignores him. Jenny glowers at her father, taking Calix's hand and heading for the doors.

"We'll just find out ourselves." She says, and I take a step towards the doors as well, only to hesitate, turning to glance at the Doctor.

He's hidden from my view, on the other side of the time rotor.

"You two be careful, okay? Try not to wander too far, we'll catch up in a moment!" I say, and once it's just us in the console room, I hug my arms to myself, make my way around the console to him.

He's bent over the buttons and levers before him, knuckles white on the edge.

"Hey…" I say, sidling up near him and leaning on the console. His green eyes dart to mine for a moment, vulnerable and fragile, then back to glaring at the console.

"She's right, you know." He says, a bitter smile forcing itself onto his lips, "About everything."

I let my mind's walls down just a bit, tendrils of myself reaching for him hesitantly. His consciousness is deceptively calm, instead of the passionate roiling and tumultuous self-loathing I'd have expected. He eagerly accepts my mind's embrace, and I sense that he's relieved I stayed to speak with him.

It makes me feel a little guilty, how thankful he is for something that would have simply been expected in the past…

"Of course she is, she's your daughter," I say lightly, but when he doesn't respond, I coax his hand to loosen its death grip on the console, bringing it up to hold in both of my own, "I can't say I agree with the whole coward thing, but I do understand that you're afraid…"

He remains silent, watching my fingers play and intertwine with his, just as I used to do in another life.

"Yesterday, I drew the Gallifreyan crest in the sand, and she had no idea what it was… Maybe if she understood why, if you told her more about Gallifrey, about your life, she'd understand why you couldn't believe… Why it's hard for you to trust, and love... Letting people in is a gamble with you, but with good reason. She should know." I say, gently replacing his hand on the console.

"She doesn't need that weighing on her. To know her father is… well, you know." He says haltingly, frowning deeply, and I vaguely feel shame lace through his thoughts.

"Maybe she does though. She's not strictly just your daughter, you know. She's a Time Lady, and I think she's strong enough to know the truth. How can you expect her to get over this feeling of abandonment without understanding you? Without understanding where the two of you came from…"

"No, she's too young… You don't understand the instinct to shield them from anything harmful, even the truth. You'll never be a parent so-" He says, stopping himself just a little too late, and I close my eyes against that old scar, throbbing a little painfully.

"Yeah, I won't be, but that doesn't mean I don't understand the instinct… Just think about it, alright? She has to understand you and you have to understand her if you want her to stick around. Otherwise, she'll always resent you…" I say, turning away before another thought comes to my lips.

"And hey... Be nice to that boy. He's important to her. He was there when she needed someone, and if that isn't enough for you…" I say, leaving the rest as food for thought as I head for the doors.

"When did you get wise on me, Crenshaw?" He calls, and I scoff, shrugging before I get to the doors.

"Please, I've always been the wise one, I think we both know that."

I step outside, closing the doors behind me, resting my head with closed eyes on the doors for a moment. It takes effort to rebuild the little breach in my walls, and I almost feel as though I don't want to.

But no. I can't do that, not yet. I can't trust my very soul with someone that I don't even know loves me anymore.

That would be asking for a world of pain, now wouldn't it?

I turn around to open my eyes and promptly have a heart attack.

My boots sit upon water, standing as if it were solid ground. I can see Jenny and Calix off in the endless distance, hand in hand... On the water?

I'm going to drown any second, sink into that deep, blue abyss below.

An image of thick, black tentacles rising to drag me towards an inky, watery grave forces itself to the forefront of my mind. A memory of alternate Evy's, that I remember seeing in her timeline when the universe was ripped apart, when my life was turned on its head.

Even though I know logically that I can't be standing on water, and I know logically that there's no gigantic Kraken-octopus-squid creature trying to eat me right now…

Panic grips my throat in an iron vise, and I press my body against the doors, fumbling with the key around my neck. My free hand smacks against the doors over and over, and I don't realize I'm calling for the Doctor until the doors swing open and he's there.

I fling myself inside, clutching at the Doctor's body as a drowning person might, my instincts already having set the appropriate action into motion. I'm practically climbing him at this point.

"Whoa, hey, hey, slow down, watch the bowtie, it's fragile!" He exclaims quickly, but his arms grasp me securely, and I can breathe again.

I bury my face into the crook of his neck to anchor myself, and get this trembling under control. One of his hands holds my back, the other secured behind my head, buried in my now short hair.

"What happened? Jenny, where's-" He halts, though, and I feel him relax, "Oh, right, right."

His embrace tightens, his hand stroking my hair.

"It's alright, we can get Jenny and Calix and just get out of here." He says, and I pull away to look up at him, confusion starting to muddle my head.

"What just happened to me?" I squeak, and he raises a brow.

"You're terrified of being out in deep water, you've got a phobia of it. Isn't that what happened?" He says, as if I've gone looney.

Um… Is it?

"No, I don't have a phobia of water, since when do I have a phobia of water?" I say, angling myself so I can see out the doors, and then I begin to question myself, as the sight of the open ocean sends shivers of terror up my spine.

What could be below the surface? What could be waiting for me?

Oh, why would the T.A.R.D.I.S bring us to such a horrifying place on purpose?!

Jenny and Calix run into view, looking quite alarmed.

"Is she alright? What happened?" Calix calls, and they begin to run toward us, back to the T.A.R.D.I.S… Across the water?

You know, I'm no physicist, but I had always been pretty sure that liquid water has never been a good surface for running, or walking, or… anything but swimming, really. Floating, sure, but running?

"She's fine, it's the open water, she's been terrified for years! Isn't that such a relief?" He says, and for some reason, in his voice, there's a note of… triumph? Happiness?

I look up at him, and… Yes, there's happiness there in his green eyes.

"I'm not afraid of open water, I've never been afraid of anything but spiders! I don't understand…" I say, stepping back from him, annoyance rearing its ugly head.

Yet… I can't quite make myself look at the vastness of it, waiting to swallow us up, feed us to its many hungry creatures…

"Yes you are, ever since we went to Hache! Oh, that was years ago! Six years, don't you remember? You're remembering, aren't you?" He says, suddenly very close again, his finger tapping on the side of my head as if that will jar my memory.

"No, stop it!" I say, swatting his hand away, "I've never been to a planet called Hache… Right?"

"Yes you have, I almost lost you that day, and that night… Well… Let's just say I found you." He says, straightening his bowtie, his eyebrows waggling, and his cheeks reddening almost imperceptibly.

No, but that happened after I fell down that ravine, and he'd thought I'd been eaten by the… slithery snake people?

Right?

I search my memories, trying to discern between what the tear in the universe showed me, and what is true in this timeline. My timeline… Not hers, or any other Evy I'd seen, just mine.

I remember the sickly green of the special swimming suits we dressed in, unaware of the horror below us.

I remember losing consciousness as my lungs screamed for oxygen, clawing at the slippery tentacles wrapped around my legs.

I remember the feel of his lips on mine, coughing up the water in my lungs before he held me, his body shaking with silent sobs of shock and relief.

"No!" I say, shaking my head adamantly, "That wasn't me. I thought you said this wouldn't be a problem, that the tear in the universe was fixed."

"It is fixed! You're just the metaphorical thread I used to sew it up, so… Ah… There's bound to be a few glitches."

"Glitches?!"

"Tear in the universe?!" Jenny asks, but we don't have time to elaborate.

Suddenly a crackling noise whips through the air, and the water that had been solid beneath Calix's feet disappears. I can hear his shouts of surprise echo, as if he's falling very far indeed.

This water doesn't act like water at all. What is it? What's happening?

"Calix!" Jenny shouts, crouching to look into where he'd fallen, but the Doctor grabs her, practically yanking her onto the T.A.R.D.I.S.

"LET GO OF ME! I can't lose him, please, he's all I have." She whimpers, fighting him to get back out of the T.A.R.D.I.S, "I love him, please, I have to go after him!"

The Doctor freezes at that, watching tears of fury and fear well up in his daughter's amber eyes. He glances at me, his green gaze holding mine intensely for just a moment.

I almost regret keeping my walls up, because normally, I feel as though he'd be telling me something important…

Maybe I should…

Then he kisses Jenny's forehead quickly and strides out of the T.A.R.D.I.S, hesitating for just a second before crossing his hands over his chest, and leaping into the hole in the water.

"Geronimo!"

The sound of his voice echoes just like Calix's, trailing off into shouts of enthrallment, like a child on a roller coaster, before silence follows.

I blink in shock.

"Doctor?" I say, as if he might pop his head out of that hole in the water, and answer.

"Evy, c'mon, we have to go after them!" Jenny says, tugging on my hand, but my feet are firmly planted in the safety of the T.A.R.D.I.S.

By a fear that isn't even mine.

By water that isn't even water.

"Evy!" Jenny says, exasperation in her voice, before she scoffs and lets go of my hand. She walks out onto the water, but before she can reach the hole in the water, a new one opens up beneath her.

And with a squeal of surprise, she's gone too.

And I'm alone.