Monday, June 8, 2015
I'm alive!
In the previous chapter, Hikari and Takeru found out that their brothers are roommates and befriended each other after an afternoon of playing Super Smash Brothers. Bolstered by this, Hikari starts thinking seriously about her growing feelings for Ryuji.
Digimon: Do not own. Heart. Crushed.
Note: This chapter changed a lot from its original inception, so the chapter preview at the end of chapter 10 was completely wrong. I've changed it now, but in case you remembered the old one, don't expect anything that it promised you.
All-American Girl
By ebacusta
Chapter 11:
The Eye of the Storm
The next morning, Hikari and Takeru walked to school together, vaguely aware of the potential hell that could erupt when they arrived together. Hikari was less concerned about than Takeru had been, who had asked if she was really okay with this almost before he'd greeted her good morning.
Hikari had dismissed his concern with a wave. "Psh. So she'll come at me with a few more leaking ink pins or redouble her attempts to trip me? Surely, she must be getting tired of that by now. She seems to be running out of ideas. I really don't think it can get that much worse."
"If you're sure…"
"TK, please," she said, grabbing him by the shoulders and turning him to face her. "This is our first full day knowing that our brothers have been best friends for like centuries. You're practically family. This is a cause for celebration! Forget Miyuki. Besides, I've technically known you for longer than her anyway, so I'm pretty certain I get seniority." She smiled as Takeru laughed.
He caved at last, turning to continue their walk to school. "Fine. It's so weird to think that though. You know, I looked you up in my second grade yearbook when I got home. You were the girl who always used to wear that weird ascot thingy!"
Hikari's hand flew to her face in shame. "Oh my god, don't remind me. So embarrassing."
Takeru laughed. "But you were so cute though!"
"Please stop," she moaned, unable to contain a laugh herself.
"So adorable. Completely unlike that demon I faced in Smash last night."
"Well if you don't stop with these embarrassing memories of yesteryear, she just might come back out!"
"Literally, as terrifying as that sounds, you really have got to come play with me and the guys!"
"I don't know… I'm really not that good at things beyond Super Smash Brothers."
"Come on, it will be fun! Invite Miyako. Maybe this Friday after practice you can both come over and join us. I bet Fumiko could be talked into joining too!"
"Weelll….I'll ask." By this point, they had reached the entrance of their school and split up to go to their respective lockers. However, something felt off as Hikari approached hers. She could tell by the titters from a group of girls who had "casually" gathered at the end of the row and kept glancing her way that something was up. Another trick from Miyuki? Had Hikari spoken too soon about her being out of ideas? She slowed and glanced around for any indication that their might be a trap set to humiliate her.
Did she spy any of Miyuki's cronies among that completely un-casual group of girls? Hmm, nope. So she approached her shoe locker and examined it for any indications of what might wait inside. No ink smears or smudges, no strange smells, no nothing. It looked exactly like it was supposed to. Still, she was unsettled.
She positioned herself so that the door would open towards her body, thereby protecting her from anything that might spill, squirt, or shoot out, took a deep breath, and yanked the locker open.
She waited. Nothing happened. In case it was rigged for a delayed trigger, she waited a moment longer, but nothing happened. She glanced at the gaggle of girls who were now openly regarding her strangely. Okay then… Cautiously, she peaked around the door, ready to slam it if anything looked amiss.
There was an envelope sitting on top of her shoes.
Well this certainly wasn't what Hikari had expected. She didn't move from her vigil behind the door, but strained to see whom it was from. All she could see was her name written on the front. Was this some formal declaration of challenge from Miyuki? Perhaps the letter itself was the trap! As soon as Hikari picked it up, something would pour from it that would send her flying home to her bed in shame. She was just trying to figure out how best to dispose of it without abandoning her shield (read: locker door) when—
"Kari, what are you doing?"
The brunette jumped about a foot in the air, spinning around to see Takeru approaching, looking concerned, confused, and curious.
"Uh, there's something in my locker," Hikari stammered, her heart pounding like a daiko drum. Takeru hastened to her side and peered into the locker.
"A letter?"
"Yeah, well, you know…" Hikari him-hawed uneasily. He straightened and moved around to approach the locker properly, reaching in to pick it up. "No, don't!" Hikari exclaimed. "It's dangerous! It could be from—"
"Ryuji," Takeri interrupted, picking the letter up off her shoes. "It's from Ryuji."
"What? How can you tell?" She abandoned her vigil behind the locker door and crowded the entrance to her shoe locker.
He held the letter up to her. "This is his handwriting."
She accepted it slowly, turning it over in her hands with wonderment. Why was Ryuji writing her a letter?
"What was that you said about it being dangerous?"
Instantly, she flushed red. "Well, you can never be too careful with Miyuki lurking around, you know!"
"I thought you said Miyuki was running out of ideas," he replied, staring at her bemusedly.
Hikari sputtered, paranoia preventing her from coming up with an adequate response. Instead, she made an attempt at a joke that she ruined by sounding harsh and accusatory, "Why'd you come over here anyway?! Stalking me perhaps?"
Takeru looked startled, but replied without missing a beat. "You were taking forever to get your shoes, I thought something might be wrong." From the way his eyes shifted, Hikari knew in a flash exactly what he meant.
That I'd been getting bullied, she thought. God, she felt stupid. Despite having told him not to worry, Takeru was obviously not the sort that could do that. A wave of gratitude and admiration for the boy swept through her, easing her embarrassment enough for her to make a successful jab at a joke, "That's what all stalkers say!"
"Perhaps, but methinks the lady doust flush too much," he grinned, quirking an eyebrow mischievously as he glanced at the letter. "Has thy heart been sent aflutter by a confession from thy beloved?"
Hikari just stared at him and then turned away, changing shoes quickly before beating a hasty retreat. "I can't even talk to you after that," she said. The girls watched her carefully to see if they could divine the contents of the letter from her face, but lost interest when they realized she hadn't even opened it yet.
"But lady!" Takeru laughed, chasing after her.
"Get away from me. Shoo!"
"Psh, I can't do that. What kind of stalker would I be then?"
"The best kind in my book." But Takeru only grinned back at her as they made their way up the stairs.
"Well, for a girl who just received a potential love confession from the object of her affection, you certainly don't seem that over the moon about it," he ventured.
She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "Are you an Agony Aunt now?"
"What? I'm just curious!"
"Then riddle me this, Miss Agony Aunt. A letter? That doesn't seem very Ryuji like."
Takeru shrugged. "He can be pretty charming when he wants to be." They reached their floor and strolled down the hallway toward their classroom, Takeru greeting basketball teammates and friends as they did so. Hikari was reflecting on what he'd said. So Ryuji was charming, but hard to hold on to.
…Great. As if she hadn't been apprehensive enough before. This boy had "proceed with caution" written all over him. They reached their classroom, but Hikari paused. Ryuji was probably already inside. She didn't want to read the letter with him watching her expression.
"Go ahead, I'm gonna—"
"Read the letter. Got it," Takeru said. He raised his hand by way of salutation and entered the classroom ahead of her. Hikari moved to the set of windows that overlooked the courtyard and glanced the envelope over one more time. It was plain, but of good weight. He'd probably taken it from one of his parents, she thought, because she couldn't imagine him investing in stationary. Her name was written across the front, not in the most careful manner, but he certainly had slowed his hand enough to make sure it was legible and relatively neat.
She flipped it over. Nothing was written on the back. Instead of sealing it, he'd just tucked the flap into the envelope itself, lending a sense of casualness to it that wouldn't have come across otherwise. She relaxed. At the very least, it didn't seem like anything as serious as a love confession. She opened the envelope and removed the folded piece of paper from inside.
Hikari, he'd written. Thanks for yesterday. Would love to do it again. How about tomorrow before school? I know a great place on the way to school. Ryuji.
Another date.
But she couldn't. Or shouldn't. At least not right now. She needed more time to think things over. She shored up her resolve with a firm nod, returned the paper to its envelope, and turned to head into class.
"Hey Hikari," Ryuji said. He was standing right behind her—or rather, in front of her now, wiping his hand on his handkerchief. Of course, he'd gone to the bathroom, the one day she was hoping he'd be in the classroom. Despite herself, she traced his stark features—the defined jawline, the smooth, blemish-free skin, and those beautiful amber eyes. He seemed really happy to have run into her. He smiled at her, and she averted her eyes immediately.
Resisting the urge to put her hand to her chest to soothe her now racing heart, Hikari tried her best to be breezy. "Oh hey, Ryuji. How are you this morning?"
He smiled. "I'm doing great, thanks. Did you get my message?" It was then he noticed the open envelope in her hands. "Oh, guess you did. So, you down?"
Hikari froze, mentally berating herself for her flakiness. Hadn't she just said she would follow this through no matter what? Yet, it was so much harder to say no with him standing right in front of her. Realizing she'd been quiet too long, Hikari forced a laugh. It sounded awkward and strained.
Ryuji frowned. "Uh, you okay?"
"What? Yeah. I'm fine! Haha!" More nervous laughter. Hikari, stop, she told herself firmly. Abruptly, she fell silent. Ryuji looked slightly disconcerted. Awkwardly, she cleared her throat. "Uh, anyway. Yes, I got your message. Thanks. I had fun yesterday. But, uh, I don't know that breakfast is such a great idea."
"But you just said you had a good time," Ryuji replied without missing a beat, though his brow did furrow slightly in what Hikari assumed was confusion.
"I did. It's just, well, I… promised I would have breakfast with Miyako tomorrow and—oh hey! Great idea! Why don't we all go together? Like a group breakfast. Sounds fantastic, don't you think?"
"Well, I guess… but I was kind of hoping you and me could—"
"Great! I'll let Miyako know! Around what time do you think? 7:15? Let me know when you've checked your schedule, okay? I'm really looking forward to this. See you in class!" she interrupted. She jammed her words together so he'd have no opportunity to speak and then fled as soon as she was done. It was a cheap way to play the game, but Hikari was at a loss for how else to play it. That smile of his was a category of cheap shots all its own.
Takeru sighed, leaning forward onto his elbows, Kuriyama's voice lulling his mind into oblivion. He supposed it was for the best since, when he was thinking, the only thing he could think about was his impending doom. Miss Kinoki had looked positively triumphant that morning. He thought about sending Yamato a flurry of desperate texts in a last ditch effort for sympathy or pity or something, but that was pointless.
Ugh.
He let his head roll to the side a bit and paused. Hikari was leaning over her desk, clearly not paying a lick of attention as she gnawed at her bottom lip. Evidently he wasn't the only one with worries weighing on his mind. She had tucked a piece of paper in her textbook and seemed to be agonizing over it. (Okay, so maybe he was the only one agonizing over anything right now, but she was at least very focused on it.) He tried to catch her attention, to see if he could find out what was worrying her to further distance himself form his own inescapable problem, but she didn't even seem to be on planet Earth anymore.
"So, even though your assignment isn't due for a couple weeks, I'm going to assign your partners so you can start considering what you want to write about loneliness, isolation, exploration into the unknown. This is the final composition for this unit, so, as you might imagine, it accounts for a significant portion of your final grade. You will want to spend considerable time on it."
What? Final composition? Takeru lifted his head, confused, and glanced around for someone who could explain this to him. Beside him, Hikari came crashing back to Earth, looking just as confused as he felt. Guess she was out. He tried to make eye contact with Ryuji or Akari from across the room, but the two of them were too busy laughing over something one of them had mouthed.
Lot of help they were. He turned back to face the front as Mr. Kuriyama began walking down the aisles, Miss Kinoki's pencil jar in hand, allowing every male to take a slip of paper. Takeru would just have to ask his partner what the assignment was or ask his friends after class. Mr. Kuriyama stopped in front of him, and, dutifully, Takeru drew out a slip of paper, opening it as his teacher moved on. Though he was sure his partner would—
The whole world to slid to a stop, the sudden lack of momentum hitting him like a punch in the gut. Surely, this was some kind of sick, cosmic joke.
"All right, let's start over here this time," Mr. Kuriyama said, getting his roster, but his voice sounded so distant, Takeru didn't even register it at first. Nor did he register the voices of his classmates, calling out the names of their own partners.
Yumi. Himiko. Asuka. Hikari. Ruki…
Slowly, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The air felt like knives on his throat. Then, he made a wish that this was all a terrible dream, and that he'd open his eyes and be staring at the ceiling of his bedroom. Okay, that didn't work, he concluded as his eyes focused right back on the offending paper clutched in his fingers. Clearly, Takeru was due for some major karmic payment.
"Takeru. Takeru?"
"Hey," a voice half-whispered at him as a leg kicked his from across the aisle. He looked. Hikari, nudging her head toward Mr. Kuriyama. Oh, right! The name. Mr. Kuriyama was just starting to raise his eyes from his roster to see why Takeru hadn't responded yet. The blond looked at the paper again and suddenly realized his throat was dry, so he swallowed—he only wanted to have to say this once—and cleared his throat. In the steadiest voice he could manage, he said, "Miyuki."
A hush settled over the class as gazes lifted and began shifting between the exes. And even without meeting anyone's stare, he knew the question they were asking: How was this going to play out?
Dread flooded Takeru's stomach as the muscle cramped painfully. Eyes wide, frown etched into his brow, he turned to look at his friends. Daisuke looked stunned, Ryuji, horrified, Toshi—well, he looked like Toshi with that stupid smirk on his face—and Akari looked apologetic, regretful, and a little relieved. Trying to keep the sigh building in his throat to himself, Takeru turned and looked out the window, unable to acknowledge his classmates any longer.
Why me?
Hikari had run—no, sprinted was probably a better word—from the classroom the minute Mr. Kuriyama dismissed class. She could practically feel the movement of Ryuji turning toward her through the air. The hallways were just filling with students hurrying to buy bread for lunch. She ducked into the bathroom, scooted into a stall, and pressed the door closed with her feet as she shot off a quick text to Miyako: Bathroom. 911.
Anxiously, Hikari ran a hand through her hair. The door opened once, and she listened as two girls chatted while they washed their hands and left. Another came in to use the bathroom. Her phone buzzed with the arrival of a new text, which she flipped open to read immediately. It was from Ryuji.
Heeey, partner. Meet by the tree for lunch? (:
The brunette bit her lip and frowned. How was she gonna respond to this? Uhh… In the stall next to her, the toilet flushed. A second later, the faucet fired up, and Hikari hurriedly tapped out a response. Can't. Have to meet Miyako by the pool. Sorry. ):
The door swung open again, and Hikari heard Miyako's voice. "Ah, excuse me." "Sorry." "Oh, thank you." The door swung shut, and then, "Hikari?"
Dropping her feet, Hikari opened the door and rushed out, just as her phone buzzed again. "Miyako, thank goodness! I need your advice."
"Yeah, sure," Miyako nodded, her brown eyes flashing with worry. "What's going on?"
"Ugh, god, this day is a disaster," Hikari sighed, running her hand through her hair again. She started to pace, but Miyako stopped her, grabbing her shoulders firmly.
"Hold up. When did you become such a drama queen? Hikari, what's going on?"
Hikari bent down to check the stalls, and then said, "It's Ryuji. I went on a date with him on Sunday, and now I can't get away!"
"What? You guys went a date? How was it?"
The brunette sighed heavily. "It was good!" she said in the same indignant tone you might use when accusing someone stealing your cookie.
Miyako frowned at her, confused. "Wait, am I missing something here? You say that like it's a bad thing."
"It is a bad thing!"
"Hikari, I thought—" she cut off abruptly as the door swung open. The two friends watched the girl duck into the stall by the entrance, and then moved over to the sink farthest away from the door. Miyako continued in a whisper, "Hikari, I thought you liked him."
Frowning and glancing at the stall, Hikari flicked the knob on the faucet and set about washing her hands, for no other reason than to drown out their conversation. "I did! I do! I don't know!" Hikari responded in a harsh whisper, her voice changing from defensive to insistent to annoyed. Miyako stared back at her, bemused. "He's just…different, I don't know. Do you know how many girlfriends he's had?"
"No, I don't."
"A lot. That's how many."
"I'm sorry, but I really don't see why—"
"Because, Miyako—" Hikari started to exclaim, her former activity of washing her hands long since forgotten. However, she stopped short as the other girl flushed the toilet, and stepped out to wash her hands. Hikari took a deep breath, and turned away, watching the water slip through her fingers a moment, Takeru's words flashing in her mind. 'Ryuji is like water, easy to catch, but hard to hold.' She turned the water off and dried her hands slowly on her handkerchief. She waited until the girl slipped out the door to finish. "Because, Miyako, if he went through that many girls just since entering high school, how quickly do you think he'll get bored with me? I'm not stupid, you know. I know that a lot of the boys are just interested in me because I'm exotic, because I just got here from America. As soon as that novelty wears off…"
"Hikari, what are you saying? You don't think he'd want to stay for your personality? I mean you're pretty awesome!"
"I think some of the girls he's dated were probably pretty awesome, too." She paused and then turned to look at her bespectacled friend. "I just got out of a very serious relationship. That didn't end voluntarily, might I add. And in general, I don't do very well with flings. TK says he might be different with me, and maybe he would be. But I don't know if I want to take that chance." Her phone buzzed again in her pocket, and she exasperatedly stuffed her kerchief in the pocket of her skirt and fished it out. "And it's impossible to figure it out with him constantly trying to talk to me!"
She flipped her phone open and read the two messages from him. The pool? Going for a swim? and then Hey, did you drown?
She started to type out a hurried response, something about cleaning and checking chlorine levels, but fortunately, Miyako stopped her. "Okay, why don't you just calm down for a minute?"
"I mean, you know, Ryuji. He's calm and easy to talk to and funny and self-assured. But when he's drunk, he's a total mess! On Friday, he was falling all over himself."
"A lot of people do that when they're drunk, Hikari."
"Yeah, well, maybe I don't want someone who's drunk every other weekend." Her phone buzzed, and she exited out of her first reply without saving it, and clicked into his new message: Room for one more? She clicked her phone closed, as she groaned, "And, we need to get to the pool."
"What? The pool?"
"Yeeaahh, I kind of told him that I couldn't eat lunch with him, because I was meeting you by the pool. Annnd, now he's on his way there. Sooo, we need to hurry!" Hikari scooted her way out of the bathroom and down the hall.
"Hikari!" Miyako replied behind her, annoyed, but she hurried after her anyway.
"I know! I'm sorry." They rushed down the hall, took the steps down to one of the side doors that led out to the practice fields, and skirting the track and cutting across the soccer field to the pool. They skid to a stop next to bleachers, just as Hikari spotted Ryuji crest the stairs that lead from the walkway down to the pool.
Chests heaving as they tried to catch their breath, Hikari waved her hands toward herself, and said, "Just, quick, pretend like you're telling me a problem!"
"But you're telling me a problem."
"Yes, but I don't want him to hear about my problems!"
"But my problems are okay for him to hear?"
"My problems are about him!"
"Oh. Right. Okay."
"Miyako, come on, quickly!"
"Okay, okay, jeez, don't get your panties in a—"
"Hikari!" a voice called out. Behind Miyako, she could see Ryuji approaching, hand raised in greeting.
"And he said, he said no!" Miyako wailed suddenly, her hand flying to her face as though she were crying.
"Oh, Miyako, I'm so sorry," Hikari replied, pulling the taller girl into an embrace. Then frantically, she waved at Ryuji to stop with the universally recognizable symbol of a hand cutting across the neck rapidly. Don't come any further. And then she mouthed, 'Not now.' Ryuji did stop, faltered a second, and then nodded.
'Everything okay?' he mouthed back. And Hikari just gave him a thumbs-up.
"Hikari, are you talking to someone?"
"What? No, no! Of course not, oh, Miyako," Hikari said, quickly petting her friend's hair in what she hoped looked to be a sympathetic manner. And then she widened her eyes at Ryuji and jerked her head to the side and mouthed, 'Go.' He nodded, waved, and beat a trail back towards the school. Hikari watched him go, still petting Miyako's hair.
"Is he gone?" Miyako asked into her neck.
"Almost…annnnd, gone." She released the girl and heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank you. I owe you one."
Miyako turned and looked at the doors Ryuji had just disappeared in to. "Wow. He came alone. I guess he means business."
Hikari fixed her with a stare. "And that, my dear Miyako, is exactly the problem. What am I gonna do?" A moment of silence fell over the pair of them as they stared at the door. Hikari slapped a fist lightly against her palm as a thought came back to her. "Oh, and before I forget, you and me have a breakfast date with Ryuji tomorrow at 7:15. I love you forever!"
"Hikari!"
Hikari was not the only one to flee the classroom the moment Kuriyama dismissed class. Takeru had followed at an equally quick pace, and it wasn't because he wanted to beat the lines to the bread counter. Though he followed the same course, instead of turning toward the inner courtyard, he headed toward the track and hid himself behind the chalk shed. He didn't want anyone—not even his friends—to find him. He needed to have his mental breakdown in peace.
Without even wanting it to, the scene replayed in his mind. Miyuki hadn't reacted much when he'd said her name—just the corners of her mouth had ticked upward—but he could feel her pleasure radiating from her like powerful denpa waves, slowly filling the entire room. Add that to the excited whispers about the promised drama, and Takeru had found it more than a little difficult to breathe. In fact, it had been suffocating.
Even as he crouched behind the chalk shed, air wasn't coming easily. He knew she was already scheming, plotting, and strategizing. He knew exactly what she was thinking: this was her chance.
It was hard enough to resist her advances in a room full of people. How was he supposed to do it alone? When she was waging a full-scale war for the affections of his heart? When they were supposed to be working on a project about loneliness, a feeling he had grown acutely more familiar with in the last couple of weeks? A feeling that had grown specifically from the absence of her?
He grunted in frustration, tangling his fingers in his hair as he rested his arms on his knees.
Had breaking up with her really grossed this much karmic payback? He had been trying to be a good person! Well, no. That wasn't exactly true. He had been trying to do what was right for him. He knew it would hurt her. Someone won and someone lost, but isn't that how break-ups always went? Was this what happened when you only thought about yourself?
As if he didn't have enough to worry about already! He didn't need this too! He dug his phone out of his pocket to ask Yamato one more time to cover him. Surely, now, he would understand that he had to do this for Takeru's sake! The younger boy had no other options at his disposal, and wasn't this what older brothers were for? To protect you?
From danger, Takaishi, the quiet, but sensible voice in the back of his head supplied. Not from consequences.
Takeru's fingers froze over the send button. That voice had been awfully quiet as of late. Of course, it picked the worst time to show up again. He tried to ignore it and press send anyway, but he couldn't make his finger to move. After a minute of intense mental struggle, the blond caved and exited out of the message without saving.
He did have another option. He could get down on his knees and beg the strict Kuriyama to make an exception and please, please, please let him change partners, just this once. The likelihood of success was low, but surely, even Kuriyama wasn't that cold-hearted. If he promised to be a model student, to do extra assignments, to bring the journals to the teacher's room every week for the rest of the year, Kuriyama would see how desperate and serious he was. That determination would surely move his Japanese teacher's heart.
Surely. Firm resolution in mind, Takeru made a beeline for the teacher's room. Surely.
"Hikari!"
His voice stopped the brunette in her tracks. Hot and sweaty from running sprints in sports fest practice, it took her a moment to reorient her mind from its goal to get into the shower as soon as possible to the voice calling her name. She turned, scrubbing her arm across her forehead to rid it of sweat. Though the camaraderie of the class had increased since they'd started their seemingly endless practices for the sports fest, there was still a long way to go and with the sports fest three weeks away, Hikari knew these practices were about to get a whole lot longer and more intense. Which only fueled her desire to get away as quickly as possible. In case Miss Kinoki decided that they should try to get a few more sprints in while the sun was still up.
The voice was Ryuji's. He was jogging toward her easily, dressed in his own gym uniform. White t-shirt and loose green gym shorts. She sighed, her chest still heaving from her last attempt at the relay. Since her heart was already racing, she couldn't be sure whether it was reacting to the boy running toward her (as it had been doing all day). Regardless, she could tell that it wasn't going to be easy to separate herself from him. When she'd got back to the classroom after lunch, he'd complimented her on her insights in Japanese class. As they waited for Geography class to start, he'd asked her opinions on the latest action thriller. From his easy body language, she could tell he was on a similar mission now. Miyako had suggested she keep deflecting him, and perhaps he'd take the hint to back off a little, but Hikari was having serious doubts about that hypothesis now.
"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to join the guys and me tonight at—"
"Thanks for the invite, Ryuji, but I can't," Hikari cut him off. She swiped the sweat off her forehead again, avoiding looking into his eyes. Miyuki's lackeys were hanging around, pretending like they were lagging behind to have a conversation, but Hikari knew they were watching the two of them like hawks. No doubt ready to report anything and everything back to their illustrious leader. "I have to go meet my brother."
Ryuji looked a bit put out. "You and your brother hang out a lot, don't you?" he asked, his voice slightly sharp. Considering he had been inviting her to things all day, and she had refused just about every invitation, she could only imagine he thought she was just hitting him with all kinds of excuses, which she sort of had been. Still, his response was a bit rude. She wasn't his toy; she was completely entitled to accept or reject his advances however she saw fit.
Her eyes narrowed a bit. She responded, a slight edge in her own voice, "If you call helping him out with a school project 'hanging out,' then sure." Ryuji's face colored, but Hikari was already walking away.
"Wait, Hikari, I—!"
"See you tomorrow, Ryuji," Hikari replied and jogging into the girls' locker room. Possessed with a sudden urge to be as far away from Ryuji as possible, Hikari didn't even bother showering. Instead, she changed into her uniform and hurried home.
Takeru stood outside of the auditorium, his heart hammering, and his hand hesitantly outstretched toward the door. Was there even really much need to knock? He was almost certain that his heart had already announced his presence, but still, it seemed impolite to just enter. Though if he was totally honest with himself, he was completely content to just hide out here until Miss Kinoki thought he'd forgotten about their meeting and gave up on him. And if she persisted, he could always book a ticket to some random place abroad. Perhaps a small farming island somewhere in the Mediterranean?
This was stupid. He was being stupid. What he should do is go out and drag Yamato back here because singing was always his thing. Why was Takeru having to take the fall for his selfishness? Granted, it seemed that musical talent did at least run in the family—Takeru wasn't horrible. But it also wasn't his thing! He was a writer. And didn't Yamato know that a person was only allowed to excel in one creative talent or else the world would explode? And there was no way Takeru was giving up writing to excel in something his brother was already good at and actually enjoyed doing.
But there was no time. He was standing here already, and if he didn't do this, he was going to fail Math. His mother would never let him hear the end of it. And wasn't it his fault that he failed in the first place? So forcing Yamato to clean up after his mess was unfair, and would probably make Yamato feel as Takeru had felt just a moment before. He hunched his shoulders and heaved a deep sigh. There was no getting out of it. He would just have to sleep in the bed he had made.
Then best get this over with. It was the moment he'd been dreading all day. The moment when he'd have to make good on his promise and audition for the school musical. He took another deep breath and, before he had another minute to reconsider, he knocked and pushed the door open.
Miss Kinoki was seated in the middle of a row about halfway down the aisle. Her seat selection placed her at almost the exact center of the room. She turned when she heard the door open.
"Ah, Takeru," she smiled. "I was worried perhaps you were waiting for me in the homeroom. I'm glad you could make it." Takeru could only smile weakly in return. She stood. "Let's get started, shall we? I appreciate you coming here after sports practice. It's getting late, and I know you've probably got some other things you'd like to do. So the school musical, as you may or may not know, is Beauty and the Beast. I would like you to audition for the part of the Beast."
Takeru nodded dumbly as he made his way numbly down the aisle towards his homeroom teacher. "Uh, well… I don't know much about singing. I, uh…usually just sing in the shower, so…" He hoped that perhaps his inexperience might make Miss Kinoki reconsider her choice to put him through this. But she just brushed it off.
"Don't worry, Takeru. All you have to do is sing. Anything that comes to mind. Why don't you just go ahead and hop on the stage there? Don't forget to project."
Takeru looked at her in disbelief. She wasn't serious. Part of him had just been hoping that she was just going to go through the motions and pretend like she was going to force him into this, just as a punishment, a reminder for him to do better next time. But when she just continued to stare at him expectantly, he stumbled forward and dragged himself up to the stage.
He paused. On second thought, was there a trash can anywhere? He suddenly felt sick.
Takeru was beat—both mentally and physically. He collapsed on his bed face down wishing it would do him a favor and just smother him. Kuriyama, it turned out, had a heart made of ice. He had seemed at least somewhat affected by the sincerity of Takeru's request and his promises to bring the journals before Kuriyama even asked for them (among other things), because he promised to think about Takeru's request. But when the teen had stopped in his classroom to pick up his things after aud-a-au—he couldn't even say it—doing that thing Miss Kinoki made him do, there had been a note in his desk that had almost brought him to tears.
Takeru decided that Kuriyama's heart was probably a stone that had grown so cold, it had generated its own ice over the years and now was encased inside glacier. Really, it was a wonder if even fit inside his chest. If getting on his knees and begging his teacher to help him out didn't make a dent in it, nothing would.
Which meant that sometime in the near future, it was him, Miyuki, and loneliness on an awkward date for three. His stomach cramped, and he rolled on his side, hoping to quell the pain.
Beside him, his phone vibrated with a text.
Hikari: This day…
Takeru smiled. At least he wasn't the only one.
Takeru: You can say that again.
Hikari: But at least it's almost over.
Takeru: ~*\(*^o^*)/*~!
Hikari: Are those pom-poms?
Takeru laughed, the tension melting away a bit as he texted back a reply.
Takeru: …Maybe.
Hikari: Sounds like you need… coffee?
Takeru: God, yes.
Hikari: ! See you in 20?
They met at the coffee shop that had Hikari's favorite hazelnut blend. Takeru went for tea, which he found soothing and less caloric (aka less impactful on his basketball diet) than its bean-brewed cousin. He took a sip of his tea and glanced out the window as he savored the taste.
"Sorry for calling you out like this, but I'm glad you could come. I was going a little bit crazy just staring at the wall at home."
"Believe me, you are not the only one. Today was just…"
Hikari winced, reacting only to the information she knew. "Ouch, yeah, Miyuki. How ya feeling about that one? Or if you'd rather not talk about it, that's cool too."
Akari and Ryuji and even Daisuke had tried to get Takeru to talk about it at various points during the afternoon, but Takeru had stoutly refused. What was there to say? At that point, he had still been holding out that Kuriyama would save him. He had, after all, seriously gotten on his knees and begged. (Thinking back on it now, Takeru felt a belated sting to his pride.) But now, there was absolutely no getting out of it, and maybe there was even less to say. Still, he felt like he could say what little there was to Hikari.
"Well, I didn't tell my friends this, but that sent me into such a panic that I actually went and got on my knees in the teachers' room and begged Kuriyama to let me change partners."
Hikari winced again, her eyes narrowing in empathy. "That excited, huh?"
"That excited," Takeru agreed. He stared at the cup in his hands.
"Did it work?" Hikari asked after a moment of silence. Takeru was surprised to note the hint of hopefulness in her voice and expression when he looked up.
"No," Takeru replied with a chuckle of disbelief. "Though he did offer me the choice to take a zero on the project and not worry about it all."
"Oh."
"Are you seriously not excited about working with Ryuji?"
Hikari startled, looking up from her own cup. Her words fell over themselves as she tried to make excuses that wouldn't offend Takeru on his friend's behalf. "Well, no— I mean, it's not that—It's just that—But chuno—And I don't—But it's not!"
Takeru stared at her, and then burst out laughing. "So the only thing I understood from that is that yes, you're not excited to work with him." That shut Hikari up. He chuckled again. "But I thought you liked him."
"I did!" she said, defensively. Then amended her statement, "I do." Then changed her mind again and admitted miserably, "I don't know…"
"Sounds complicated."
"You have no idea." Hikari rested her elbow on the table and let her head fall forward into her hand. Takeru recognized the pose well, because he found himself making it often as of late when thoughts of Miyuki snuck up on him at inopportune moments. A pose born from the heart's confusion: wanting to give up, but unable to stop fighting.
Ryuji was excited to work with her. He had told Takeru as much on their way home that evening, but he was worried that he had offended her, because he felt like she was avoiding him. At the time, Takeru had flashed back to his conversation with Hikari the previous night, but Hikari had admitted that she liked him. Maybe she was just being shy, he'd thought. But now, Takeru felt a twinge of guilt. Had he caused this?
"You weren't excited about the letter either. Was this because of what I said last night?"
"Huh?"
"Because Ryuji really is a great guy. And he spoils his girlfriends. He'd treat you well—"
Hikari's hands flew up in the universal sign of wait a minute! and waved back and forward, frantically. "Whoa! Hold up, hold up, hold up! Yes, kind of, but you just confirmed something I already suspected. Do you know how many girlfriends he's had? Stupid question. Of course, you do. You two have been friends for forever." Oh. There was no denying that. Sorry, buddy, I tried, Takeru thought, feeling suddenly miserable on Ryuji's behalf.
"And he likes to party, right?" Takeru resisted the urge to bite his lip. Couldn't argue with that either.
"I'm just not sure if that's really my style for a guy. I'm not much of a party girl. I'd much rather be with someone I could talk to and hang out with, just doing whatever, and whatever, to him, is just as much fun as going out for a night on the town, you know?"
Yeah, he knew. Those rare nights when he and Miyuki had been able to just stay at home and talk, watch TV, look up beauty trends on the Internet—though he had to admit he had more fun doing the former two things than the latter, but it had made her happy, so he'd tried his best to be interested—had been some of his favorite "dates." Those nights when he'd been able to just hold her in his arms were the ones he dreamt about.
"And Ryuji's great. He's so easy to talk to, and he's charming, just like you say, but… he's just coming on a little strong, and I'm just not sure if I can do charming yet," she was saying. She glanced up at him hesitantly. He must have been making some sort of face, because her tone changed suddenly after she looked at him.
"Anyway, sorry. This is like total girl's talk. I'm sure you're not interested in it at all. We should totally talk about something way cooler like basketball or something—" She let out an awkward laugh between phrases, so Takeru knew he must have made her self-conscious.
"No, no, you're fine! I don't mind talking about it. I understand what you mean. You want a best friend, not just a boyfriend, right? That's fair. I think I'm the same. Maybe that's why Miyuki and I—"
Oh, hell.
He'd started speaking without thinking about what he was going to say, but now it hung heavily between them, growing more awkward with each passing sentence. He had to finish it, if only to save himself from being crushed by a self-created elephant. "…didn't really work out." His face felt hot. He chuckled, awkwardly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say that."
"It's okay," Hikari said, as though this were a perfectly normal conversation for her to be having with a boy she had really only come to know the previous evening. It really did feel like he'd known her all his life. "And now you're working on a project together."
"And now we're working on a project together," he agreed. And then added, because the irony was too much for a writer like him to not appreciate. "About loneliness."
"About loneliness," she echoed.
A comfortable silence settled between them as they sipped their respective drinks, reflecting on the conversation they'd just had. Takeru felt that something unspoken had also been communicated, hidden in the spaces between their words, but he wasn't sure what. So instead, he went back to focusing on his problems, both the one he'd shared, and the one still haunting him like a note echoing long after it had been played.
"And to think, it's only Monday," she chirped, suddenly, and grinned at him.
"Seriously, this week can't get any worse," he grinned.
"Don't say that, TK, 'cuz it always does."
And, of course, she had been right. Miss Kinoki could have warned him before posting the final cast for the school musical on the information board for every single student to see. She could have at least been kind enough to tell him that he'd gotten the part before telling the entire school so he could have had time to figure out an appropriate reaction to the news and wouldn't have had to show his mortification to his friends, several classmates, and gaggle or two of first years when he was alerted to the development in front of all of them. Better yet, she could have not cast him at all.
Yes, she could have done any of that.
But she didn't.
o-o-o-o-o-o
In the next chapter, Miyuki strikes back at Hikari in the worst possible way, causing Hikari to abandon her friendship with Takeru and make a dangerous mistake.
Thanks to all who reviewed the previous chapter: , Bhals4, savetheday, Digidestined Ninja of Sunshine, take the blame, Fijiii, sam, Monkey Girl xD, Shire Folk, Eowyn the Fair, MoD366, Together Again, RosesOfTruth, Funkymonkey713, nightwatcher55, Final Genesis, Jade Lynne, authorgal282, Topazled Hannah, KHLostEmpress, x0Arisax0, joeshen.
Thanks for your reviews, even though they were many years ago! This story has been through many time lapses. If you're still reading it even after all these years, thank you so, so much. It means so much to me! The last couple years have been really difficult, but I am trying so hard to get back into writing. I'm not going to make a promise on when the next chapter will be released since I have broken the last three (probably more) that I've made, but I will say that the next two chapters are already written. So hopefully, they will be up soon.
Please leave me a review and let me know how you enjoyed this chapter!