AN: Thank you all for caring so much about M. I was rather sad to let her go, and I think that all the hinting was me thinking that I could red herring this and then let her live. It didn't help that I had already decided upon her death from the moment that I introduced her. I worried about the unicorn reference. I liked how it worked out though. Thanks for the comments on this and the rest. Looks like I will need more than two chapters to wrap up things. I said that there was going to be a kind of end around chapter 55, but I think that it will maybe make it to 60. I am currently writing chapter 56 and a chapter from the next segment simultaneously (don't ask how that is working out-yikes). As always, thank you for all the support. Here is the next chapter.

Time passed in a haze. He barely remembered telling everyone what had happened. He had struggled to adequately comfort Lil. They left the hospital in a cab. Sam and Jess came with them. Sam said that they would stay in the guest room. Cas did not argue. He and Lil had stayed up on the couch. It was easier than trying to actually sleep. As the night progressed, though, they inevitably fell asleep. Cas had pulled the green blanket over her and wrapped an arm around her tiny form. What will I do? How do I make this okay? He held her and wondered how they could get through this.

The next day he found Anna and Uriel on his doorstep. He brought them in, and Gabe showed up not long after. The flow of bodies into his home was making it simultaneously easier and harder to cope. Cas had checked his phone and found that Dean was going to be checked out of the hospital later that day. He said that he would come by as well, if Cas was okay with it. He wanted to speak freely with his friends, but at the same time there was so much that could not be said. He could not speak openly in front of Lil for fear that he would upset her, and he could not speak openly about what happened without making things difficult for both Sam and Dean. Part of him wanted to just say, to Hell with all of the caution. Sam and Dean could take care of themselves. The other part of him felt as though he still needed to protect them a little. After all, A wasn't the only one to be worried about.

"Hey, Cas, what if I take Lil for a walk? You could talk with your friends a little about what is going on and such." Jess offered as though she had read his mind.

"I don't know. Is Sam going with you?" Cas asked because he was still worried about other dangers that might be lurking.

"I can go with them." Sam offered before Jess could speak again.

"Thanks, Sam. I would feel safer." Cas reached up to Sam's shoulder in a move that showed affection and gratitude. He did not feel as though they had repaired all of their issues, but he did still care about Sam.

He walked over to Lil and explained that it would be good for her to stretch her legs a bit and that Jess and Sam wanted to take a walk. She passively accepted the situation and followed them out the door silently. He watched her go with a worried expression playing out on his face. His remaining friends were all seated at the table. He was struck in that moment by just how much this was all like some twisted version of that morning some weeks ago when he had first met Dean. They all sat there expectantly, and he did not know what to offer them. He slumped into a seat across from Anna, with Uriel and Gabe on either side of him.

The silence stretched until finally Gabe interrupted it, "Well, Cas, you gotta get to the explaining. I mean, we are on pins and needles here."

Anna gave him a look of irritation and said, "Smooth, Gabe. Really, you know that he has been through Hell. Let him take his time if he needs to."

"I'm sorry, Anna, but really, we need to know what is happening." Gabe shot the same look back at her and then made a gesture toward Cas that seemed to say, get on with the explaining.

"You're right, Gabe. I have a lot to explain for myself. I just don't know where to begin." He lapsed into silence again.

Uriel reached over to Cas' shoulder and said, "Why don't you start by telling us why you were attacked. Gabe said that an associate of Mr. Crowley attacked you. He said that you were worried that your house was bugged. He also said that you left him a note that sounded like you thought that you were going to die."

"How did you know about my attacker?" Cas directed his question at Gabe.

"Sam told me. He's the reason that we are all here. He told me about the attack, that it was A, and that you were fine, sort of, and that M was killed." Gabe explained.

"That is all accurate. A thought that I had taken a key file from the evidence that M and I were using to set up the FDA case. I did not take the file. However, A did not believe me and followed me. After I left here the other night, I met up with Dean and M at Skybar, and A attacked us in an alley." Cas paused after his slightly altered summary, hoping that he had not left any holes in the story that would require further explanation.

"What happened to A?" Anna asked.

"I shot him," Cas muttered.

They seemed shocked. He could hardly look at them. "Is he dead?" Uriel asked.

"Not yet." Cas answered with a quick glance up at Uriel. "He is still in the hospital. I wish that I had killed him. I can only hope that he dies eventually for what he did to M." Cas worried a little that they would judge him, but he also needed to say it out loud. He felt like just thinking it was a dirty thing. He wanted A to die, and he felt that if he just said it out loud then he could be absolved of this sin.

"What is going to happen with the little girl?" Anna asked.

"M asked me to take care of her. We amended the birth certificate, so that legally speaking, I will appear to be her real father. It should hold up, and it should make things easier."

"I wonder what this will mean for us with Niveus." Gabe tented his fingers in front of his face then rested his chin on the tips of them.

"You should try to get away from them. I don't think that you will gain anything from any future association with them. I don't know if A attacked us on Crowley's orders or not, but everything that happened that night was because of that company." Cas leveled his gaze on Gabe hoping that he would understand the need to put distance between himself and Niveus.

"I just don't see what Lucky has to gain from attacking you. I think that there has to be more to this. No one file is that important." Gabe leaned back in his chair and seemed to be wondering beyond what he was saying.

"I wish that I had a better explanation. As things stand right now, I am not sure that I can continue working for the firm. I might need to make some pretty grand changes to my career."

"You certainly don't need to be deciding anything just yet." Anna threw out, "Take some time to grieve for M, then see how you feel. I can totally understand the need to get away from Niveus, but I don't know that you need to escape the whole profession."

"We'll see." Cas offered up noncommittally. There was a knock at the door, and Cas rose to answer it.

Dean and Bobby stood there. He beckoned them in. Dean was on crutches and seemed to be using them like a pro. Bobby was holding a small duffle bag and followed him. "You okay with a little more company?" Dean asked as he moved further into the room.

"Yeah, Sam and Jess just took Lil out for a walk. I was just sharing with everyone some of what had happened." Cas gave Dean a look that emphasized the word some as he said it.

"Well, now would you mind if I took off? I hate to dump this guy on you, seeing as he is a surly cuss, but I really need to get back to the yard." Bobby was already edging toward the door as he asked.

Cas walked toward the door with him and said, "Of course I don't mind." He decided to give Bobby a hug. It was awkward, but reciprocated. He felt like it was important somehow to let this man know how much he appreciated all of the little things that he had done in the last week. "Thank you, Bobby. Thank you for everything."

"I haven't done a thing. Just take care. Let me know if you need me to come back and haul his sorry ass out of here. He can be a right handful." Bobby smiled over at Dean then.

"I learned from the best, old man." Dean smiled back. Bobby was out the door with that and they were left with another awkward moment. They stood together with Cas' friends still gathered at the table.

"Well, I don't know about you all, but I feel like we just became the third, fourth, and fifth wheel." Gabe smirked out at Cas. He stood to go and the others stood with him.

"Hey, don't leave on my account." Dean looked from one to the next sheepishly.

"I'll come back later, but I think that maybe what Gabe is really saying is that you two should have a little time to talk without us awkwardly observing." Anna directed the others to the door. "Are Sam and Jess staying tonight?"

"I don't know."

"Well, if they aren't, I'll take your guest room and watch over the girl for you. Text me and let me know. This should get you a good night's sleep. Sam said that you have been sitting up with her all night on the couch." They had all reached the door by now.

Uriel stepped up to Cas before leaving. "I hope that you don't leave the firm. You are the only one in our little group that I find a hundred percent tolerable." Gabe gave him a mild slug on the shoulder.

"Hey, I am totally a hundred percent tolerable," Gabe whined.

Cas gave Uriel a slight pat on the back as he passed into the corridor. "Thanks for that." He smiled then turned to Anna. "I'll text you later Anna."

With that he closed the door and turned to Dean. He didn't have to speak; he just had to move. Dean spread his arms out a little with the crutches still wedged up under his arms. Cas slipped into that space. He pressed his head to Dean's chest and forced himself to just listen to the thumping rhythm of his heartbeat. The steadiness of it was comfort in an unsteady world. He could feel Dean teetering though with the extra weight pressed into him, so Cas took a step back. He tipped his head toward his couch and Dean took a seat. Cas helped him adjust his position so that his leg was elevated and then sat down next to him, resting his head in the crook of Dean's arm.

All of this passed in silence. He could not bring himself to speak. Too much could go wrong with words. He feared that he would just keep losing people if he was not careful. He was not ready to lose anymore. Dean broke the silence though. "Do you want to talk?"

"No."

"Okay." Dean seemed comfortable with the silence, and with Cas' desire to just let it surround them. Dean's phone buzzed. He turned it on and flicked over to the messaging app. "Sam." Dean looked over at Cas' face. "He wants to know if I'm here yet. He said that you weren't answering your phone." Dean moved his thumb over the keys seemingly sending off an acknowledgement of the message. Then he added, "He said that they are going to eat at the diner. He said that Lil was hungry."

"That's good. I was starting to worry about her. I didn't know if one should force feed a grieving child or not. She hadn't eaten anything substantial since I dropped her off in your room before…" Cas stopped not wanting to say anything more. Dean just kept a firm hand on his arm and rubbed back and forth with his thumb.

"I'll stay as long as you need me. I just want you to know that. In fact, I don't think that you get any say in whether or not I stay. I would lose it if I had to be somewhere else, wondering if you were safe." Dean pressed his lips to Cas' head and then lingered there.

"I want you to stay." Cas lapsed back into silence after that and let the moment cover him in its warmth. He could feel the slow in and out of Dean's breath tickling through his hair. The light in the room was dimming as it was getting on into evening and the sunlight outside was the only contributor to the room's brightness. It reflected his mood and the feeling that everything was drawing to a close. He felt his breathing hitch in his chest and with it he squeezed in closer to Dean. He didn't want to cry anymore or think anymore. He wanted to sleep and wake up to a day in the past. He looked up into Dean's green eyes and was reminded of the light across the water from Gatsby's house. He had finished rereading the book some nights ago and found that certain moments from the tale had pressed in on him, more now than when he was a desperately naive teenager. The light had pulled at Gatsby in a way that was inescapable for him. He had to harken back to Daisy, his great love. He had to keep seeking her light out in the darkness. He had to because, without it he was alone, without hope. That would be a type of death, and Gatsby was too full of life to accept that inevitability.

Cas didn't break the gaze and neither did Dean. His green eyes drawing in Cas. He reached up and pulled Dean closer until their lips met. He could imagine losing all of this, and it was easier for him to just live in these stolen moments. Gatsby had died for his efforts. Cas could not follow that path. It had been too close to that reality that night in the alley. Their lips still pressed together, the kiss deepening, Cas ran his hand up into Dean's hair. He would hang on for a little longer. It could not hurt to have this for a little longer. It could hurt later. He had to think of Lil. He had to plan for how to keep her safe. Here wasn't safe. Maybe Dean will go with us. Maybe he can give up this mission. But deep down he knew that Dean would see this all through to the end. He was married to this cause with a bond that was unbreakable. There would be no running away for him, and so Cas knew the end game. He held on though. He held on because he could. Dean held on too. Both of them carrying each other in a sea of their own thoughts and desires, each one clinging to a light of their own that could only burn out for all of its brightness.

Review, Fav., Follow. Hopefully, tonight's season premiere of SPN is wonderful. I am really looking forward to Dean's karaoke. :)