I'm writin' the beginin' of this chap with my annoyin'-keyed school laptop, I'm sorry if there are a shitload of spellin' errors. Naruto meets Tsunade in the most logical way possible, he attacks her! I hate repeatin' myself...I don't own jackshit for Naruto, or the eventual continuation of my story into Shippuden. Masashi Kishimoto, you lucky bastard!
jutsu
'Quoting for perspective and phrasing very now and then'
Thoughts or emphasis
"Spoken words"
"Demon talk, person of focus or location change"
A small town in Hi no Kuni
I didn't leave Konoha just for Sensei to send Ero-baka and some blond...He looks familiar, but I've never met the br-! The buxom blonde woman's thoughts were disrupted by a boxer-sized two-tailed fox. What? Two tails...What the Hell! Before she could continue musing, the same blond boy appeared in a puff of smok next to the fox. "I'M NOT GONNA DIE JUST BECAUSE OF A COWARD'S STUBBORNNESS TO RETURN TO HER VILLAGE! SO STOP FIGHTING, OR I'LL KILL YOU AND EAT YOUR CORPSE BEFORE RETURNING TO BE EXECUTED!"
Naruto's proclamation of eating her dead body made her eyes widen and take a step back, This kid's crazy! Wait, why'd he say that he would be returning to be executed?! Surely Sensei wouldn't kill a child! "I WON'T GO BACK TO THE VILLAGE WHE-!" "You had it all..." The young man's fists were white and blood was driping from his palms while his knuckles cracked. "And you have the gall! To say you lost everything...Do you know who I am, Senju Tsunade of the Sannin? Konoha no Namekuji Tsunade-hime?! The on who lost her fiance and little brother, and disgraces their memory by running!"
The blond vanished in another puff of smoke, and the fox charged with bloodlust in its eyes. How does he know about Dan and Nawaki?! And where does he get the balls to call me a coward! She landed a punch to the ground where cracks began to form everywhere. Her grass-green haori had the kanji for gamble in a red circle on the back. She wore a sleeveless blouse with a broad grey-blue obi, that was closed quite low which showed off her large cleavage. (Cue: Ashes Remains-End of Me)
She had red paint on her fingernails and toenails, and her hair was tied in two ponytails. She looked through the dust cloud created by her destructive strength, to find the fox walking out of it without a scratch. It gave off a smug vibe, a vibe that really, pissed Tsunade off. "What the Hell Jiraiya?! We're teammates, you'd hunt me down to drag me to the village where I have nothing?!"
"Correction Tsunade-hime, we were teammates. The moment you made yourself an unaligned shinobi, our team was truly destroyed! Naruto here," He jerked a thumb at the enlarged fox, "Is the last known Uzumaki, and your distant relative if I'm not mistaken..." Tsunade was now too stunned to move, as were Tonton and Shizune. I...I-I still have family in Konoha? How's that possible, I was told everyone related to me was dead! "LIAR! I DON'T HAVE ANY BLOOD-RELATIVES ANYMORE!"
Naruto dropped the henge and glared heatedly at her, "YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU DON'T! I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE RELATED TO A COWARDLY RO FUJIN LIKE YOU!" A fox came out of his makeshift vest, under the chuunin vest he wore, and it turned into a weapon in the shape of the Senju clan symbol. "You lost the two people you loved the most, for that you've my condolences. But I won't be executed because of a Ro fujin who carries her suffering like a badge of honor and can't find the backbone to face her problems!" Did-Did he just call ME OLD!
Before she could attack, however, Naruto made a few cuts on his body and let the blood remain on the weapon. Tsunade's eyes widened considerably when she noticed what he did, this was something that didn't go unnoticed by Naruto. "Hemophobia...Now that I know your weakness, I can defeat you with ease! And I won't be the only one dying, I'm dragging your sorry ass down with me lady!"
He was upon her and slashed into her skin, drawing blood and making Tsunade's body freeze up. When Naruto turned back to her, he walked ever-so slowly towards her. "You're afraid of something that's a part of you, that's a weakness that a medic shouldn't have. How'd you do your job if you're so incompetent?!" H raised the weapon and made to finish her off, but Jiraiya stopped the weapon. "Don't Naruto! She's the only candidate for Hokage, and we need her to stop the Council of Elders from killing you and releasing the Hell you contain! If you kill her, than you're as good as dead. Wh-?"
"I'm as good as dead either way, Ero-sennin! If she's gonna be the next Hokage, then Konohagakure no Sato is doomed! I have misgivings about Kakashi, but he'd make a better Hokage than this coward/coward!" Kyuubi had seen and heard everything, and if there was at least one thing he hated more than Naruto, it was a coward. The young man transformed back into his twin-tailed fox form and ran at Tsunade. When Jiraiya and Shizune went to stop him, he leaped over them and headbutted Tsunade into a building.
Dropping the henge to talk to her, he said, "You fought in a war, you took on Hanzo of the Salamander, you are a Sannin. A student of the Sandaime Hokage, the Purofessa, Shinobi no Kami...And yet, you can't even stand up when you see blood? Where's the Densetsu no Kamo? Where's Senju Tsunade, the most revered and feared kunoichi in the world?!" His rant was over quickly, Tsunade's eyes had a dangerous gleam as sh said,
"She's...RIGHT HERE, YOU LITTLE BRAT!" She made to punch him before he shoved a Rasengan into her stomach. "It's a good thing I trained in the Rasenringu before training in the Rasengan!" Although the attack was weak, it still hurt like a sonovabitch. Tsunade was out cold, getting Naruto to smirk victoriously and made Shizune, Tonton, and Jiraiya sigh in relief.
Jiraiya spoke up, "Let's get going, we don't want Orochi-teme to catch up to us, we've had enough trouble with him for one month..." He picked Tsynade up and carried her bridal-style with Shizune, Tonton, and Naruto following behind him.
On the path back to Konoha no Sato
Tsunade was not amused. Jiraiya had resorted to using seals to keep the Slug Princess from escaping and or attacking them. Naruto was his secondary fox form, carrying a bitching Tsunade. "Let me go." Jiraiya and Shizune had taken turns in saying, "No." "Let me go. "No." "Let me go!" "No." This was the routine for the past few days, forcing Naruto to tune them out so as to remain completely within sanity. They'd been on the road for about a week, and everyone was getting ready to kill each other. Even sweet and benevolent Tonton looked ready to attack somebody.
It was about the fifth week when they saw the gates of Konohagakure no Sato. Shizune, Tonton, Jiraiya, and Naruto were relieved while Tsunade was just waiting for her chance to get away from the village. Naruto passed the struggling blonde buxom woman to Jiraiya as he returned to his normal form. After they reached the gate, Naruto was then glomped by one Yamanaka Ino.
"FOXY-KUN! YOU'RE MINE AGAIN!" She then proceeded to smother the poor boy, who was still stunned into stillness. It was after four minutes of her smothering, until Naruto began to struggle for air. "MM MMPH M MMM MM!"
"Come again Foxy-kun? You want me to keep hugging you?" Naruto's body tensed all of a sudden, She wouldn't! He thought, only to be proven right. For Ino's smothering increased and no matter how much he struggled, he couldn't escape her obsession.
While this was going on, Jiraiya pulled out his notebook and wrote down what he saw in explicit detail. After half an hour, Naruto's patience just went Screw it And he transformed into a large fox with two tails and a relieved look on his face. Ino started petting him, and his resolve disappeared in the blink of an eye.
A random woman began to narrate the events as they unfolded, until Naruto returned to normal and threw a shuriken into her. "A narrator!" "OW! SONOVOASHIT!" Sakura came out of the crowd to see Naruto with a downed woman.
"Naruto! What the Hell?" "The narrators, can't you hear them?" Before the woman could speak again, Naruto threw another shuriken, into her throat. "I feel better." Kakashi came to them as well, "You know Naruto, you remind me of the babe..." Naruto, Jiraiya, Ino, and Sakura all said,
"What babe?!" "Babe with the power..." "What babe?!" Kakashi stopped, "Naruto, haven't you seen Labrynth?" "Couldn't tell you if I have, Kakashi-sensei-senpai-san-sama!" Kakashi and Sakura now looked fearful as they said in unison, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!"
Needless to say, Naruto's superior smirk calmed them down. (Please tell me someone got the reference earlier) then, out of nowhere, two figures in cloaks with red clouds on them walked up to the group. Naruto and Jiraiya figured out who they were easily, "Akatsuki!"
The taller of the two made a sound reminiscent to a gurgling groan. "See what I mean, no one let's you introduce yourself these days!" Naruto ran at them, fusion form ablaze, when he saw the shorter man's Sharingan.
"Tsukuyomi" that one word spelled Naruto's doom, for the moment he said that, Naruto was experiencing his Hell. The two men then both disappeared in clouds of smoke. "DAMN IT!" Kakashi 's display of concern made everyone do a double-take.
"That jutsu lasts seventy-two hours, we can't wait that long to catch them! DAMN YOU ITACHI! " Sasuke came onto the scene after sensing his brother's presence, " Where is he?!" One look at Naruto, and he knew his brother had been there. Naruto's body transformed into his twin-tailed fox form and made a ruckus of loud yowls of sorrow, yowls of sorrow that met the ears of Mitarashi Anko.
"What in the raging Hell is that racket?" She looked to Naruto like a he'd never seen him before in earnest. "Who's pet?" Ino, very confused, answered the question. "It's Foxy-kun Anko-san, remember? Your surrogate son/little brother?"
Anko looked at her like she grew a new gave, "Since when? I've heard of his pranks, if this is one, than you're all dead. Almost everyone in the village's having memory problems since yesterday..." As if on cue, Ino looked around confused and then saw the scared fox at her feet and looked sympathetically to the little thing.
Kakashi had a surprised look on his (damnable) masked-face, "Strange, I left just yesterday, and I'm just fine?" "That's 'cause, it happened while you're away Kashi-kun. No one can remember what happened, why it happened, or how it happened. All I know, is that it's inconvenient as Hell!" Fuu had heard everything and came to them, "What the fuck's up!" Her aggressive tone became even more so when she saw Naruto on the ground whimpering in terror.
"WHAT THE FUCK'D YOU DO! WHY'S HE ON THE GROUND!" Ino, Anko, Kakashi and Sakura held their hands up in an unarmed gesture. Ino said, "I-IT WASN'T US! IT WAS THOSE TWO GUYS IN THE CLOAKS WITH RED CLOUDS ON 'EM!" Fuu was still stewing on the inside, she looked ready to murder an entire village given the chance or encouragement. Suddenly all of the people in Konoha, minus those at the gate aforementioned, heard Itachi's voice say, "Forget..." And that's what they did, everyone forgot everything Naruto did except for his pranks and troublemaking.
Ino, Anko, Sakura and Sasuke all held their heads and fell to the ground in pain as their memories were rewritten. Naruto's cries turned from whimpers into yowls of horror and agony, accompanied by his friends' cries of pain were all over the village before his friends' cries died down and his was all alone. It was as if, he knew that they forgot who and what he was, it made those who remembered have heartaches.
Kakashi saw what he'd created, Naruto...I'm so sorry, so so so so so sorry! I'll make sure you're never forgotten again, I promise, I promise a promise of a lifetime! No sooner had he said that, then Naruto's friends got up and looked to the writhing fox on the ground. Before anyone could even flinch, Naruto stopped abruptly and got up then charged at Kakashi with hatred in his eyes. "Damn you Itachi, can't you lay off of Tsukuyomi for even one little boy!"
His demand was met with Naruto's twin tailed fox form headbutting him, then Kyuubi's voice rang out of the fox's throat. "You humans know nothing of kitsune or of demons in general! We don't feel fear, we feel...Hatred!" That growl of a voice, made those present shudder involuntarily for fear of the kitsune daiyoukai's wrath. Those fears were obliterated instantly, "It is not I you should fear, but Ningen's. He hates this village and what it has done to him and his surrogate family in Mitarashi Anko, but now she's forgotten everything! He has nothing, and no one to turn to now! He has nothing holding him back, the memories they've shared are only his now and he will leave this village for fear of being ostracized by those he trusted!"
Jiraiya got his hand ready to use the Gogyo Fuin Naruto's voice rang true, "You touch the seal, and I open the gates! I've little to nothing to lose now Jiraiya, let's leave the village for a while. Tsunade, be a good Hokage, or I'll eat."
With that, Naruto and Jiraiya left the Village Hidden in the Leaves.
;XXXXXXXZZZ
That's a fuckin' wrap ladies, gents and other. Slight spoiler; Princess of Snow... Sorry for the short chapter 'gain, I know a few of ye accept the apology, but I have to unless I feel guilty. Without my medication for my ADD, I can't function very well, and my muse is bein' a total bitch. SEE YA!