Chapter 33 - Embroidered Words

Kou felt like he was intruding on something when he requested a private audience with Boss Tensho—then again, he was inclined to feel like he was intruding on everything, given the world he lived in. Even when his father invited him to join in.

Kou didn't exactly… fit in with that sort of thing. And he knew it. And he wished his father knew but, well. He didn't really seem to.

But he had to because, well, he had to.

It had been a casual sort of request. He had to ask Shankusu to go and ask in his place, because he felt too nervous to ask himself. Just a "Would it be all right if you and I spoke in private later?" sort of thing. Not terribly important or anything, at least, Kou didn't think so. And the reply had come back in the positive, to Kou's relief, Boss Tensho saying that he'd be happy to meet with Kou after dinner.

"You seem pleased, Young Master," Shankusu had said, seeing Kou's smile upon his affirmation. "What do you want to talk to Boss Tensho about, anyways?"

"Just… things," Kou had replied, already looking forward to telling Kiine the news.

Kiine, naturally, just straight-up asked his father to speak with her, and, naturally, he had agreed as well. Kou's stomach did a little somersault when she told him about it.

(Her confidence secretly amazed him and made him feel that much worse about his own lack of it. Though he wasn't very good at all at concealing this amazement, or his lack of confidence.)

They had already planned out what they were going to say to their fathers; truthfully, they'd arranged the plan just the afternoon before, sitting in the garden and talking over lunch. Yuki was there; Kiine, Kou noticed, seemed to be so much more at ease when he was around, rather than when Shankusu was acting as their guardian. She tended to be quieter in Shankusu's presence, letting Kou talk more. But with Yuki she talked with astonishing speed, letting her full, warm radiance out.

It suited Kou. He felt comfortable around Shankusu, whom he had known since he was maybe five or six, after his previous bodyguard left the service of his family for reasons he could either not remember or understand due to being so young at the time. Shankusu understood him and listened to him when he had problems with a tired, familiar sort of look on his face, because it always seemed like Kou was having the same problems, and Kou knew it and would apologize and Shankusu would just laugh because they were always the same old apologies, as well.

Plus, while Shankusu gently pushed Kou to at least try to practice in the dojo or do something manlier than read about how to make macaroons in a recipe book, he didn't disagree when Kou asked if he could have access to the kitchens to do some experimentation, or when he said he wanted to learn how to knit. And Kou appreciated that, more than anything.

He supposed Kiine must have had the same sort of relationship with Yuki—certainly, he didn't know how long they had known each other, but it was that same ease that fell about her when she was just with him and Kou that he found familiar. And he really thought that she was at her best when she was so enthusiastic and energetic and cheerful.

…mind, while Kou found her amazing and admirable and he couldn't deny that he liked her as a person, he didn't like her, like her. And they were both opposed to the marriage.

…even if he did eventually develop feelings for her, it would probably not go anywhere, he'd think to himself. He didn't want to be unfair to her.

(He didn't tell this to Shankusu.)

And, besides, Kou was just the sort of person that was always a friend, never anything more. He just knew that was the case. His dad had tried introducing him to too many girls for it not to be true.

(This, he told Shankusu.)

But it was because they were opposed to the marriage that they'd come up with this plan. And Kiine had done most of the planning and most of the talking, Kou only occasionally piping in with feedback. She was clever, Kiine, and shrewd, and she gave orders naturally. Kou, strangely enough, felt happy to follow them, for the most part. When she said that maybe they'd have success by speaking to each other's fathers, rather than their own.

"It's whining when we go to our own old men, and they'll just keep on treating us like babies if we do that. But if we talk to 'em like adults and handle this on our own, then maybe they'll take us seriously, yeah?" she had said, on one of those conversations where it was only him and her and Yuki—they never discussed business in front of Shankusu. And all Kou could do was nod and agree with her, and smile.

Yuki did not smile nor say much of anything throughout the entire conversation, only replying to agree with Kiine when she asked questions of him. He had a high voice, like a girl's, but there was none of a girl's playfulness or gentleness in it, whenever Kou heard him speak.

He generally avoided looking at Kou. And Kou, once he figured it out, tried to avoid looking at him, so he wouldn't make Yuki uncomfortable in return.

Even though Kiine said otherwise, he got the definite feeling that her bodyguard didn't like him at all. And while he didn't quite understand why (he certainly had a few, insubstantial theories), Kou just accepted it and did what he could to avoid conflict. Some people just didn't like you, and there was nothing you could do about it, really.

…it was a trait that his father did not look kindly upon. "Kou, son, you can't back down from anything; you know that, right?" he would say. "There's nothing to gain in just letting people walk all over you in the name of not wanting to cause trouble. You can't go without causing at least a little trouble in your life."

And because he didn't want to cause trouble, Kou just nodded and told his father that he'd try to avoid such behavior in the future.

It was strange, in a way, how Kiine inspired—no, commanded him to step forward and take this risk by talking to her father. "It'll be fine, making an effort is totally fine for starters, yeah," she had assured him, when doubts began to arise on how effective his arguments would be.

He felt comfortable, following her orders. Really, Kou was most comfortable when following the commands of anyone, really, not just with Kiine. Other people in general had better ideas of what they were doing than he ever could. What he lacked in confidence he made up for in trust, and he had more than enough trust in Kiine, despite having known her for only a few days. She just… knew what she was doing.

And she had a true and an honest belief that she and Kou, if they worked together, would be able to get the marriage called off.

But no matter what confidence she managed to instill in him, Kou still had jitters of the worst kind when he stood with Shankusu in front of Boss Tensho's meeting room the evening after his initial request. Though he and Kiine had come up with what they wanted to say, though everything was planned, he still had the feeling that he would mess up and ruin it all for the both of them.

(Strangely, he found himself wishing for her to be there. But she wasn't—and, more importantly, she couldn't.)

Boss Tensho smiled at him when he came in. His bodyguard, a man with a scar on his lip—his name escaped Kou at the moment—sat behind him with a neutral expression on his face. "Kou-kun, so nice to see you. What can I do for you?"

"Um, well… First, would you mind terribly if we dismissed our bodyguards?" Kou said. Just as Kiine had told him to say.

Boss Tensho's red eyebrows rose and fell. "Why's that?"

"It's, um. A little embarrassing, and I'd prefer it if we spoke alone, thank you…" Kou replied. Just as Kiine had told him to say (though a bit more hesitantly than he would have preferred).

Boss Tensho seemed to understand, though Kou couldn't imagine how. "Nobu, wait outside, okay? I'll call if I need you."

"You too, Shankusu. I'll be fine, I promise," Kou added. Shankusu patted him on the shoulder before leaving. Boss Tensho's bodyguard closed the door behind him.

"Come a little closer, so I can hear you better," Boss Tensho said, beckoning to Kou with his hand. Kou reluctantly stepped forward. He remained standing. "So, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"It's…" Kou swallowed. "It's your daughter, Boss Tensho."

"Kiine?" Boss Tensho had a strange half-smile on his face, and he laughed a strange half-laugh. "What about her?"

"Well, as you probably, uh, know, she and I have been spending a lot of time together recently…" Kou said.

"Yes, and?" Boss Tensho said, when Kou did not continue.

Kou swallowed again. He could hear Kiine's voice in his mind: Don't worry about it, just do it, yeah!

"This is… in no way against you or my father, sir, but… I'm sorry, I just can't marry her."

Boss Tensho's face hadn't changed its expression much. It was unreadably half-amused, half-something else. "And why is that, Kou-kun?"

She'd known he would ask. "Well I found her… charming, at first. But she's really starting to… get on my nerves." He tripped over the truths and sped past the lies. He didn't know if Boss Tensho would notice.

A scoff. "Get on your nerves, does she?"

"A bit. She just… well, she talks a lot, she's crude, and crass, and so…" He searched for a word, because the list that Kiine had given him, vast as it was, hadn't exactly made a home in his mind.

(But all he could think of were nice things, when it came to her.)

(So he settled for that, and reversed it for his purposes.)

"…inelegant. I just don't really like her, sir," Kou said. He fidgeted with true nervousness. "I don't think we'd be a good match."

Boss Tensho just shook his head, there. Smiling. "Oh, Kou-kun. My daughter? A talker though she may be, she ain't at all crude or crass."

"Well… maybe she's a different person in private…" Kou said, softly. She certainly seemed to have two sides to her, from what he'd seen so far. The quiet, cool public image, and the raging fire that was her at her truest.

Boss Tensho just kept on smiling. "What do you really not like about her, Kou-kun?"

Kou had to think, hard. "…she makes fun of me," he said.

Boss Tensho's eyes were surprisingly knowing. "But she's never truly insulted you, has she?"

"Well, no, but…" And Kou stopped, trying not to wince. "No, actually, yes, she has insulted me. And my father. She isn't nice to me at all, Boss Tensho."

"What's she said about your father?" Boss Tensho's eyes narrowed very, very slightly.

"That he, um…" Kou thought. "That he's a fool who doesn't know what he's doing. She says that neither he nor I should be here. She wants us to leave."

"Tell it to me like you mean it, boy," Boss Tensho said.

Kou blinked. "…excuse me?"

"I don't believe you for a moment. If you need to lie to get someone on your side then y'need to sound like you mean it, you got me?" Boss Tensho continued. He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. "Siddown, Kou-kun. Let's have a little talk, shall we?"

An awful, familiar sensation began to rise in Kou's chest, spreading to his shoulders, his arms. "Oh, no, I don't think we need to. I'm sorry, forget I said anything." He began to turn, to leave.

"Kou-kun, siddown. No need to be nervous, I'm not mad at you or anything," Boss Tensho said. There was a playful sort of tease in his voice, a familiar tone, though the one that Kou knew was lighter, higher. "Come over here, we're just gonna talk. Man to man. Okay?"

Kou was always better at obeying others than following his own bad ideas. He sat down in front of Boss Tensho.

"I'm guessin' that my daughter sent you here," Boss Tensho said.

"No, she didn't-"

"Your dad's told me a lot about you, Kou-kun," Boss Tensho continued, anyways. "Says you got the brain of a Boss but the heart of a lackey. And I'm guessin' your dad knows you pretty damn well, Kou-kun."

His father had told him that more than once. "Yeah, I suppose he does…"

"And I know my daughter. She's a bossy girl. You should see how she directs Yuki-kun around." A dry little laugh came out of his mouth. "Scares me a little, sometimes, how persuasive she can be. Just like her mother…"

"Persuasive…?" Kou said.

"Oh yeah. She could get that little guy to do just about anything for her. It's gotten him in a fair amount've trouble from time to time," Boss Tensho said. He shook his head, slightly, pulling his lips together beneath his mustache. "Point is, I wouldn't be surprised if she got to you, too. 'specially given what your dad's told me."

"That's not… true, I'm here because I want to be here, not because she told me to come here," Kou said. It was a half-truth, and it bolstered his voice just that much.

It was enough to make Boss Tensho tilt his head, slightly, his eyebrows lowering critically. "A little better, but you're better off just givin' it a rest, okay?" There was comfort in his voice, his eyebrows lifting as he spoke. "She told you to come an' talk to me. I know. So stop tryin' to tell me otherwise."

Kou lowered his head, admitting, "It was her idea, but I'm here because I agreed with her, not because she's forcing me to…"

"Ah, finally something that I can believe," Boss Tensho said. He breathed out, through his nose. "This is really about your marriage, innit."

"Well, sort of, I mean…" Kou said, but he found himself floundering for words; Tensho had hit the nail right on the head.

"I may be old, Kou-kun, but I'm not ignorant, an' I'm not stupid," Boss Tensho said. "Kiine hasn't been taking this situation well an' I almost expected her to turn you against me eventually, or at least try, if you two didn't hit it off."

"Oh…" There was a strange sort of squirming in Kou's gut there, and he wondered what it meant. It was out of place, whatever it was, and neither terribly uncomfortable nor terribly pleasant.

"Really, your dad an' I were really hoping you'd at least get along a little," Boss Tensho continued. "I mean, it seemed like you two were hittin' it off just fine, to us. Are things really that bad between you two?"

"No, not… really," Kou said. "It's just that, well…"

"Well, what?"

Kiine hadn't told him a thing about what to say if it came to this; in her confidence, she had assumed that if Kou bad-mouthed her enough that he'd at least piss off her dad a little, or at least convince him that he just didn't like her.

(She didn't count on Kou having such a good heart. But he couldn't have helped that)

He grabbed for words and figured that the truth would serve his purpose well enough. "I just think it's kinda unfair, sir. To her and to me."

And Boss Tensho paused for a moment. "Is that so."

Kou nodded. "I mean, it'd probably come to this for me, 'cos I'm so hopeless when it comes to girls and I'm gonna need a wife someday, but…" He closed his eyes, and opened them. "Kiine-chan, I think she deserves to have a choice. Because I know she can do better than me. She shouldn't have to settle so soon."

And then Boss Tensho laughed. "Kou-kun, I think that's the most honest thing you've said to me all day."

Kou squirmed and looked away. His stomach was doing acrobatics somewhere in his chest.

"You honestly think she can do better than you, huh?" Boss Tensho continued.

"A whole lot better," Kou replied, nodding vigorously. "Really, I'm kinda embarrassed, in all honesty… I mean, I understand why this is happening and all, but, again, I just don't think it's fair. For her, at least. I mean, I'm sure I'd be just fine if it were any other circumstance, but, just…" He inhaled, and lowered his eyes as the breath escaped him. "Well, I knew from the moment I saw her that she didn't want anything to do with me… Even if I had to be given a bride, I'd want one that actually wanted to get married, I think…"

Boss Tensho took a long time to reply. "…man, your dad was right, you are a strange kid," he said.

Kou began to seriously regret what he had just said.

(Even though he had meant every word. Especially the bit about him being absolutely fine with the idea of an arranged marriage. Kou had long since accepted that he'd probably have to rely on one in the future, but he at least wanted one or both parties to be willing to the idea.)

(In a perfect world, Kou would have been able to ask for a bride when he felt ready and been able to pick a girl who was equally interested in marrying him, even if it was only for his money, or his power. He knew he wasn't much of a catch in the looks department, doughy as he was.)

(But he hadn't asked. And neither had Kiine.)

(Somehow, it felt more unfair to her, no matter how he looked at it.)

"I get that you kids are having a tough time. But your dad and I both think that it's what's best for our clans, and for the both of you," Boss Tensho said, after rubbing his thumb and forefinger around his chin, ruffling his beard for a time. "You know how much I worry about my daughter sometimes? She's got a bad habit've sneaking out at night an' doing heaven knows what. Visiting gambling dens, clubs, things like that."

The feeling in Kou's stomach intensified. He still had no idea what it meant, but he had no time to think.

"I haven't been too worried 'cos she's got Yuki-kun with her, but I can only trust that boy so much," Boss Tensho said. He sighed. "There's a lotta mean fuckers out in the world, Kou-kun. An' I thought that it was only a matter of time before she picked up one of 'em as a boyfriend. I've been lucky so far, but suppose I wasn't? Suppose he hurt her, or did somethin' to her?"

Kou saw Boss Tensho's hands tightening their grip. A layer of discomfort draped itself over his stomach, but he wasn't sure where it came from: from Tensho's strange and vulnerable honesty, or from Kou's own inability to accept the idea that Kiine would even waste two seconds on a guy that mistreated her? He couldn't even imagine it.

"There's only so much I can do, as her father. I worry," Boss Tensho said. "I wanna make sure she's taken care of, Kou-kun. That she's in the hands of someone I can trust. An' I trust your dad, an' I trust you." And his voice got surprisingly soft. It hardly suited him. "You understand, Kou-kun? She can't get much better than a guy like you. She needs a guy like you. Because her other choices ain't nearly as good."

Kou couldn't help but nod, his discomfort intensifying to an almost unbearable degree. Thousands of conflicting concepts and words swam in his head, competing for space.

"So don't let her boss you around. She'll warm up to the idea, an' she'll warm up to you, if she hasn't already. You got a responsibility, y'know?" A warm smile spread across Boss Tensho's face, but Kou did not find it terribly reassuring, as he was sure it was meant to be. "Wedding won't be for a while, so you'll have plenty of time. Besides, I like you, kid. Stay strong for me."

Kou swallowed again as he nodded, again. "A-absolutely, sir," he replied.

Boss Tensho didn't say anything for a while. And when he finally did, he preceded it with a clearing of his throat. "That was a pretty good talk, I think. You got anything more you wanna say to me, Kou-kun?" he said. Kou shook his head. "Well, then. I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow."

And Kou just nodded and bowed and thanked Boss Tensho for his time and got out of there as quickly as he could.

"How'd it go? Whatever you did in there," Shankusu asked, once they were far enough away.

(He had respectfully not listened in to their conversation, and neither had Nobuhiro. Both of them knew that if they were meant to hear it then they'd be told about it after the fact, after all.)

"It… went fine," Kou replied, truthfully unable to really say what had happened in there.

He found himself feeling strangely weighted down by the overwhelming feeling that he'd utterly failed at what Kiine had told him to do. But there was a new insistence, now, that he had a responsibility to keep the engagement together, that she didn't know what she was doing, because this was all for her own good.

…but it felt wrong, this weight, this new role. Because Kiine did seem to know what she was doing, mostly. Her confidence, her ability was undeniable. And Kou was sure that at least her meeting with his father had gone well. They had that going for them, at least. Maybe they still had a chance.

(But she needed a guy like him, and nobody else, and there was a different feeling in his stomach, a squirm of discomfort rather than…)

Kou spent the night mostly awake, thinking all of it over. His dreams, when they eventually came, were pastel-colored and soft and formless.

Kiine leaned in to whisper to him at breakfast: "How'd it go?" She seemed cheerful enough, smiling, at least.

"I'll tell you after breakfast," Kou decided, and didn't say much of anything else for the meal. He tried to ignore Boss Tensho smiling at him, almost expectantly, from across the room, and his father leaning in to whisper things into his ear.

He had to ask Yuki to leave, when he and Kiine managed to find a room together in the compound that wasn't occupied. He was going to need confidence, and Yuki's icy presence (sometimes literally—Kou swore that the air was somehow colder around him, sometimes, but he had only a vague idea why) would do nothing to aid it.

(Even though Kiine had offered for them to use her room, Kou stammered that he didn't want to do that, so they settled for one of the many rooms in the main house for displaying art. This particular room held swords in polished wood stands.)

"So how'd it go with you and my dad?" she asked again, leaning in expectantly. She had her hands on her blue silk lap, and a smile on her face.

"…tell me how it went with my dad, first," Kou said. He kept his eyes on her hands.

"No, you first. I've been dying to know, yeah?" she said.

Kou couldn't really resist. "I don't think it went well at all…" he admitted.

"…what makes you say that?"

"He kinda didn't take me at all seriously when I said all those things about you, for starters…"

Kiine scoffed. "Yeah, I had a feeling… But, hey, at least you tried, yeah? What else?"

Somehow, Kou was not comforted. "Well then he asked me why I was here and he knew you put me up to this."

Her silence lasted for an age. "What, you feel like I am puttin' you up to this?" she said. There was a dangerous color of anger in her voice.

"No, no, not at all! That's just what he said…" Kou replied, shaking his head. "I'm doing this because… I think that this marriage is… unfair to you, and that's what I told him, but…"

"But, what?" she said, like her father.

"But then he started telling me all this stuff about how I shouldn't feel bad and how he's just worried about you and that it's because he doesn't want you go get hurt." It didn't even make sense to Kou, the way he'd phrased it, so he tacked on an "I suppose" to the end.

Kiine scoffed, there, and loudly. "Oh, that is just typical, yeah," she said. "Let me guess, he told me that he needed you to 'take care of me,' didn't he?" Kou couldn't help but nod. "That's just… oh, that's just…" She sighed again. "Why am I even surprised…?"

"I don't… know?" Kou said, when she didn't say anything further. "I'm… guessing you've heard him say this before?"

"He probably gave you the same lecture he gave me when came back from Konoha," Kiine said, sarcastically. "About how there's bad people out there and he wants me taken care of by good people." She scoffed again. "Like I need to be taken care of… And assholes are not my type, yeah!"

(Truthfully, Kiine vastly preferred men who were less assertive than she was. There was a reason why she and Yuki got along so well.)

(And Kou.)

Kou found himself more than a little shocked at how right she seemed to be. "It… sounds pretty similar to what he told me…" he said.

Kiine shook her head. "Well just don't listen to anything he says, yeah?" she told him.

Kou twisted her words into a command, and he found himself feeling just a little bit better about his failure, for some reason. His stomach twisted this way and that.

"…so, um. How did it go with my dad?" Kou asked, after suppressing his smile.

"Went pretty well, I think," Kiine said, casually. She leaned back, balancing on her hands, lolling her head about her shoulders. "Dunno if we really got much of anywhere. Your dad really knows how to change a subject, yeah."

"Yeah, that sounds like him…" Kou said. His father was incredibly fond of gossip, as well, and when the two were combined, you could hardly get anything through to him.

"I think I managed to get something in to him," she continued, "'bout how I wanted to choose my husband and stuff, but he just laughed at me all patronizing-like and said that I could keep a concubine or somethin' if you really didn't live up to my expectations."

Kou cupped his forehead in his hand, running his fingers through his bangs. "Did he really say that…"

"More or less. I told him that he was full of crap, though, so don't worry," Kiine said, leaning forward, a surprisingly kind smile on her face. "Even if we did get married, I wouldn't do somethin' like that to you, yeah? You're too nice." She patted him on the shoulder as she said this, and Kou peeked at her from between the fingers on his face, an uncontrollable smile budding on his mouth.

"Well, thanks…" he said.

"…kinda funny, really…" she said, when she took her hand off of him, when she returned to leaning on her hands again. "The other stuff he said to me. It… kinda reminded me of my papa an' the stuff he'd say."

Kou had taken his hands off of his face, as well. "How so?" he asked.

"There was a lotta talk about 'take care of my son' an' stuff," Kiine said. Her tone was detached, airy. "Said he worries that you'll never have another chance. I said that you totally had your pick of the girls," she added, with a hard sheen of sudden confidence. "I mean, with your status, you could have a girlfriend delivered to your house any time you wanted, yeah?"

"Somehow I doubt this…" Kou said, his smile growing sheepish. He knew he was blushing.

(And he knew she was right, again.)

"Eh, I guess not. But really," Kiine continued. "It's just, the way he was talking about you, it made me wonder who was really the bride in this thing, yeah?"

Kou wanted to cover his face, again, but he didn't. "How so…" he asked again, but more quietly, this time.

"He talked to me like I was a groom takin' you into my family or somethin', I dunno," Kiine replied. The detached tone returned to her voice. Her eyes remained lazily fixed at some point on the ceiling. "That he wanted you to have a wife that'd take care of you or… something. I dunno." She sat up and shrugged. "That's just what it sounded like, 'specially the way he phrased it."

"Ah, I see…"

"Yeah, so that's what happened," said Kiine. She crossed her legs, there, and rested her arms on her thighs. "Dunno how much help I did, but… at least we made an effort, yeah?"

"Yeah, at least there's that…" Kou replied.

They were quiet together, for a while.

"…so what are we gonna do now?" Kou finally asked.

Kiine shrugged again. "Stick to our guns, I guess. We've both said what we wanted to say."

(This was, on both sides, somewhat of a lie. But she wasn't going to admit that, and neither was Kou.)

"And just sit tight, right?"

"Yeah."

Kiine suggested that maybe they go do something together, after a good minute or two went by without either of them saying anything, and Kou could do nothing but agree.

"You said you were gonna try baking something for me, yeah? So come on, are you all talk and no show, or the real deal?" she said, playfully, lifting him up off the ground by his arm.

"Well, I'm told I can bake a mean cream puff," Kou replied, an uncharacteristically sharp grin on his face. It faded in an instant. "But I mean, if cream puffs aren't your thing then I can make something else. I can make... crepes, cookies, muffins…"

Kiine's laughter quieted him. "I've never had cream puffs before," she said. "Let's see how they are, yeah? Kitchen's this way. I can get you what you need."

Yuki was still waiting, obediently, outside the door, and he followed them silently as they walked together to the kitchen.

Kou hardly noticed that he'd wrapped his arm around Kiine's, nor that the strange squirming sensation in his stomach, the not-quite-uncomfortable-not-quite-pleasant one, had returned, and it had not abated since Kiine had started smiling again.

(Kiine, in all honesty, didn't notice much, herself, nor the fact that she hadn't stopped smiling since she'd asked Kou to do something with her.)

(Yuki kept his face emotionless and tried not to notice any of these facts.)

(He hadn't been nearly as tactful as his brother or Shankusu, listening to their entire exchange, and attempting to process it as he aided them in the kitchen, bringing them ingredients and putting on a vague air of enjoyment.)

The cream puffs turned out wonderfully, anyways.