I can't believe it has been a whole year since I graduated high school. Everything feels different. Gemma has made me co-manager of the Teller-Morrow garage. My mother has sort of come around to the idea of me staying here; the reason being, because I am helping watch Kenny and Ellie, which is a load off her shoulders. And Jax and I are...well we are what we are.
There is no proper title for us. In other words, since we kissed at the barbecue almost a year ago we just kind of became whatever we are now. Most nights we end up in the same bed, except for the occasional nights I stay with Opie's kids, or when Jax is on a run. I steal his t-shirts and wear them around the house after work. He brings me home take out and beer when it's been a long day. No titles, no problems, and lots of great sex.
"Darlin' we have a run today. I won't be home till later tonight. Or early morning." Jax's kisses the top of my head, while I am sipping away at my coffee. Bliss overcomes me, as I feel his lips against my head. I hold back a giggle that wants to escape from me. Jax is the only person that brings out these silly feelings inside me.
"No worries, I am sure Donna and the kids will love if I come by for a visit," I tell him, leaning my head back to look up at him. Jax hovers over me, his arms holding on to the back of my chair.
Jax smiles down at me before placing a chaste kiss on my lips. I pick up my cell and dial Donna's number. A day with my family sounds great.
Ellie is fast asleep in my lap and Kenny is sprawled out in Donna's. We had taken the two of them to the park all day. The weather outside today had been too perfect for us to do anything else except hang out outside. There had been a light breeze sweeping through the air all day, but it was still warm enough for you to wear just a t-shirt and shorts. Smiles and laughs were shared until we brought my niece and nephew home. Shortly after putting on one of their favorite movies they conked out. Now Donna and I are watching some comedy I can't remember the name of.
"Do you love him?" Donna blurts out randomly. I stop brushing my fingers through Ellie's soft hair because the question has caught me off guard. Donna and I have been relatively quiet since the kids fell asleep. They looked peaceful asleep, and neither of us wants them to wake up from us being too loud.
I look over at her, not quite sure where the question has come from. Sure I had told her about the recent development in Jax's and I's relationship, but I wasn't someone who went into details about my feelings about significant others with people. Relationships are a private matter to me. "Are you asking me if I love Jax?"
"And I don't mean love, like genuinely care about him. I am asking if you are in love with Jax Teller." Donna's light blue eyes dig into me. I know what's she's thinking.
Is it possible for someone like me to be in love with someone? All of my life I have been that spontaneous, troubling causing, little sister of Opie Winston. Nothing held me back from what I wanted, and anyone who got in my way was sorry. No one knew what I was going to do next because half the time I wasn't sure myself. Committed was not a word I would use to describe myself. If I didn't want to do something anymore, I stopped. Whenever something didn't feel right to me, I did something else instead. But, that doesn't mean I am not loyal. I would do anything for my family, and friends.
So, I understand what Donna is asking when she questions if I am in love with Jax Teller. Jax has a devotion to his club. Sons of Anarchy is in his blood; it's all he has ever known. Jax isn't ever going to leave Charming, this is his forever home. When I am out of college, I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. Hell, I may find myself half way across the world. Essentially Donna is asking if I would tame my craziness and settle down with Jax Teller. Would I give up my ways to be here for him when he comes back for a run? If the club needed my help would I give up whatever I was doing to help them? As an old lady, you needed to be there for your man when he needs you, because what these guys do isn't easy or stress-free.
Truth be told, Jax is the only person I would even consider doing those things for. But the real question is, am I actually capable of changing who I am?
My phone lights up, breaking into my thoughts. To my surprise it's Unser.
"Unser whatever it is, I promise you I have been with Donna all day. Any trouble caused today, I was not a part of."
I expected to hear a laugh in return, but when Unser speaks, he sounds upset. "Casey, you are going to want to come down to the station. I can't say anything more. I shouldn't have even made this call, but...Casey just come."
The line goes dead.
I carefully move Ellie of my lap. "Cas, what's going on?" Donna's asks me, slightly concerned.
There is no need to get Donna worked up over something that may not concern her, so I tell her it's nothing, but the second I get out of her house I run. And once I am behind the wheel, I speed like hell to the police station.
"Ms. Winston, how can I help you?" Deputy Hale asks me as I step into the station. David Hale isn't much older than I was. He is a committed young officer, one I can't see ending up on Son's of Anarchy's payroll. He is a hard-ass cop, and it annoys the hell out of the club. I find it kind of funny he takes his job so seriously when he lives in a town like Charming.
"Unser called me, asking me to come in. Trust me, I don't spend time here when it is unwarranted." I rest my elbows on the reception window, giving Hale a small grin. He is pretty fun to mess with because he tends to be uptight. Hale knows I like to have a laugh at his expense, but he never calls me out on it.
"That is a nice change from the normal Casey Winston way of coming in, in handcuffs." Hale's snarky comment doesn't affect me whatsoever. In fact, it makes me laugh.
"Hale if I didn't know better, I would swear you were flirting with me." I give him a wink as Unser comes out to greet me. Hale rolls his eyes at me, but I swear I see a small smile as he looks down.
"Casey, you are going to want to come with me." His voice is lower than usual, and I can see the sadness in his eyes. Whatever he is going to tell me isn't something he wishes he had to. Whatever it is, I can handle it. There is nothing I can't handle. I am Casey Winston, us Winston's can take anything thrown in our direction.
I walk out of the police station in bewilderment and animosity. My hands are trembling from anger, and my mind is running wild. I feel like there is something I need to do, but what could I do? There is nothing that will change this.
The revving of a motorcycle only deepens my anger. I am not mad at the club, because when you become part of the club, you know exactly what you are signing up for. But, that doesn't mean I can't be livid at one particular member. Although I know he is no longer going to be riding with my boys, I know he's out there, and my brother is no longer a free man. Because of him, my brother is behind bars.
I jump off the back of Jax's motorcycle, deep in thought. Had the police called Donna? How is she going to react when she figures out? What will Donna tell Kenny and Ellie?
Two arms wrap around my shoulders, and I lean my head down against them. "Cas, we will figure this out-"
"There isn't anything this club can do. You have done enough."
Jax and I break apart, turning to see Donna walking towards us. I hadn't seen her car, or her when we pulled up, but I had been distracted.
"Let's go, Casey. We don't need to be here anymore, or ever again for that matter." She practically spits venom with every word. Well, looks like I have the answers to most of my questions.
Yes, the police called Donna. She decided to hate the whole club when she figured out. And she was probably not going to tell her kids the truth about why their father is behind bars.
"Donna I know you're mad, but I think I should just get you home so you can rest. There is nothing we can do tonight. The club is bent out of shape about this too, just as you are." I go to wrap Donna in a hug. Something I am sure she needs right now.
SLAP. Pain radiates in my cheek. If this were any other circumstance, I would retaliate with a punch to the person's face, but Donna is my family. The pain I feel isn't just physical, it's emotional. I look up at Donna, my mouth parted in an 'o'. Jax wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me to into his arms. He whispers into my ear that it's okay, that she is just mad right now.
"Of course you would take their side. This club has you so brainwashed, and you don't even see it! I guess you have made your choice, now you will have to live with it. Don't come near my kids, Casey, don't come near me." Tears leak from her eyes, as she shouts at me.
I shake my head, not allowing myself to get worked up. Donna is mad, and she has every right to be. Opie is going to go to prison for arson. She is losing more than just her husband. Donna is losing money, support, and more. All of this means that Donna is basically going to be a single mom until he gets out.
Donna walks away, tears of anger flowing down her cheeks. Her eyes are red and puffy. I want to hug her. But, I know I have lost her. Donna is a stubborn woman, and strong headed. She isn't going to forgive me right now. She isn't going to forgive the club, because in her mind they had hurt the only person who made her bend, the only person who can her change her mind. They had hurt Opie.
"Darlin' let's go home." Jax is standing at the end of the bar, watching me drink. I lean the cup that previously had an amber liquid in it and spin it slightly.
"Opie gets prison and Hobart gets away. Doesn't seem like something that should be happening." I look over at Jax, my eyes jaded over, quite similar to my emotions right now.
I won't let Donna's words ruin me, because she's wrong. The club didn't do this, only one person did.
Kyle Hobart and Opie had been sent to burn something down, and when Kyle heard sirens in the distance, he bailed. Hobart left Opie behind to get caught by the police. If Kyle hadn't of run, Opie and I would be enjoying a beer together. And now because of Hobart, I will be estranged from my mother, a woman I thought of as a sister, and my niece and nephew. With one stupid move, he took almost everything from me. And this man is just walking around, getting away with it.
"Cas, darlin', I promise Hobart will never set foot in this town again. We have a lawyer who is going to get Opie the best deal she can." Jax's words are meant to be comforting, but my anger just boils. I want him to set foot in this town again, because the second he does, I will do a lot more than excommunicate him.
I walk out of the courthouse. Well, it was more like I was kicked out. Apparently voicing how much this trial is bullshit, is not something you should do. Opie is going to be in prison for five years. I won't see him free for five years. Just like I predicted Donna and my mother won't speak to me. I haven't seen Ellie or Kenny in a year, and I couldn't stand it. I have been living with Jax, trying to go on like normal, but even I notice the change in me. And I hate it. The boys are acting differently around me like they were afraid I would turn on them too. Nothing is right.
Suddenly I see a familiar face across the street at a gas station. The one person who shouldn't be in my available reach right now, Kyle Hobart.
"Opie will be out in six months." Donna and I are sitting on a bench at the same park Ellie had seen me at three months previous. The reason being that Opie was able to convince Donna to let me see the kids. Before Donna had been persuaded, I hadn't seen my niece and nephew in six years. Now we see each other almost every day.
I work at the garage until the afternoon, then I pick up Kenny and Ellie from school. Afterward, I hang out with the kiddos until Donna comes home from work. I have even run into my mother time to time, but she doesn't talk to me unless absolutely necessary.
"Yeah, I can't wait for him to be home with you and the kids. I know they miss him." I tell her, with a small smile. I have also missed my big bro.
"Casey, I don't want him going back to the club."
I don't know what Opie is planning on doing when he gets out. I know he is dedicated to the club, but he is well aware how Donna feels about the club. One thing is for sure, I am not getting in the middle of it.
"Donna, you and I should not talk about the club. " I lean against the picnic table, the wood digging slightly into my back. Our relationship is still strained, but it has gotten better.
Heels clicking against the concrete cause both of us to look behind us. Coming towards us is none other than the wicked bitch herself, Wendy.
"Do you know her? I think she is coming to talk to us." Donna looks apprehensively at me, then over to Ellie and Kenny who are still running around the playground.
"Donna go play with the kids. You probably won't be interested in hearing what I will have to say to this girl." My black aviators cover my eyes and most of my expression. But my voice lets Donna know I am not happy to see Wendy coming towards me.
Like I had suspected, her staying away hadn't lasted long. She had been stopping at the clubhouse every day as Jax was getting off. He seemed to not be as loving as someone should be towards their wife, but I am not exactly the master of relationships, so what do I know. Wendy may not speak to me, but she gives me dirty looks every time she lays eyes on me. I just wave and smile, because it pisses her off. And it's pretty entertaining to see her get mad over something so little.
Donna heeds my advice, walking over to her smiling children. Thankfully she has, because if Wendy had said something off-putting to Donna, I would be going to jail for more than just simple assault.
"You know stalking me isn't going to scare me away. It just makes you look even more like a psycho." I don't look her way when I hear her take a seat behind me, across the wooden table.
"Don't you think I have better things to do than stalk you?"
"Obviously not, because you are approaching me, uninvited." I talk with an annoyed tone, because talking to her is like listening to someone mess with styrofoam, it kills my ears.
"I came to tell you Jax won't be leaving me anytime soon. So keep your whore hands away from him."
I sit up, positioning my body to look her in the face. "Wendy, it would be in your best interest to never threaten me. This is the first and last time I will tell you that. Now, do me a favor and fuck off."
Wendy's chapped lips curl into a wicked smirk that I will gladly slap off if she doesn't leave me alone. "I have a present for you." Her hands pull out a clear plastic baggy, with some sort of stick looking thing in it. She pushes it towards me, never breaking eye contact.
For a second time stops, everything freezes in place, and all I can do is stare. Even though I tried to not let it happen, my jaw clenches. Wendy lets out a low laugh, meaning she saw that what she had shown me affected me. But, I quickly recover.
With only seconds to compose myself, I look up at her with the biggest smile I can give, cocking my head slightly to the right. I slide my black aviators slightly down my nose, looking her directly in the eyes. "It's okay. I know Jax won't let his kid turn out to be anything like the psychotic bitch you are."
Wendy's composure changes. That bitch really thought I was going to break when she showed me this. Sure, it hurt to know the man I love is having a kid with someone else, but a kid wouldn't hold him to her. Jax Teller isn't the common man, and she clearly doesn't understand that.
Her hand snatches up the positive pregnancy test, huffing at me as she does so. Right as she was about to turn around I let her know exactly what's on my mind.
"Wendy, I don't know think you know what you got yourself into. You should have thought more about this before you went poking holes in condoms or lying about birth control, whichever your demented ass did. Because now you won't just have me to worry about. Now you will have the whole club ready to get rid of you the second you mess up. And we both know you will mess up. Congrats hun, you just bought a first class ticket to hell."