Fortunately for Cartman it was the last class of the day so him running like a track star to his Mercedes wouldn't backfire on him.
'Not that I give a single fuck right now.' Cartman began panting heavily as he slammed the door to his car and cranked it in a single fluid motion. 'God fucking damn it! He had gotten a hard on to Kyle fucking Broflovski. Hell he had almost kissed the guy!' While he drove down the road, his little problem dissipated rather quickly, but the reality of what had transpired was seared into his mind like a brand. He would have to be careful in the future. Cartman felt bile rise in his throat. His emotions were twisting and churning causing him to have very little control of himself mentally and emotionally at this present moment. Luckily, his motor skills were based on muscle memory and as he drove to his house about 10 miles over the speed limit, remained unaffected. 'He was scared shitless about what he had almost said to Kyle'. "I want to see you before the party." What type of loser was he now?!
Cartman could no longer deny the facts. At least not to himself. He was undeniably attracted to Kyle. Cartman excused his thoughts as of late as being the conclusion of what had been inevitable for years. He had been focused on making Kyle's life a living hell as long as he could remember. First, it was because he stole Stan as a friend, then it was because he was Jewish, and then he just did it for the thrill of it. It had brought him a sense of sick joy teasing and torturing Kyle. No one else gave that firey shot of adrenaline through his veins, made his heart beat uncontrollably quick with rage, or dared to challenge his insults with ones of their own like Kyle. Butters was a very pathetic substitute as was anyone else. He decided his intense focus on Kyle for so many years hadn't helped matters. Also, the fact that the two were working on their friendship and spending time learning about each other without the venom of past encounters didn't go unnoticed by Cartman. Rarely did anyone want to spend time with him just to be around him and he honestly enjoyed the redhead's company. Even if they weren't trying to bring the other one down, Cartman still felt the same emotions he had in the past. In fact, they were even stronger than they had been.
He now felt a warmth inside his heart whenever Kyle smiled at him or touched him. Plus, though no one knew it, Cartman liked protecting people and things he cared about, so Kyle's vulnerability probably contributed as well. Yeah, that was it, Cartman told himself.
Yes, Cartman admitted to himself on the drive home from school. The surprise boner was the straw that broke the camel's back. It relieved Cartman that he was attracted to Kyle in a way because he had seriously 'wondered if he wasn't asexual from watching all of Kenny's fucking porn and not being turned on in the slightest bit ever.' However, Cartman was adamant that these feelings were lust and slight friendship and would go no further than what had already happened.
Besides, Kyle Broflovski wasn't gay and even if he was, why would he pick a person like Cartman when he could have almost anyone else he wanted? 'Cartman actually winced at the emotional pain since it wasn't like anyone could fucking see him right now anyway'. Though he had lost weight, Cartman knew he was far from good looking, lacked the ability to be a good person on any type of level, and had no idea how to date someone. He mentally corrected himself, how to have a one night stand.
The slightly depressed boy pulled into his driveway, ignoring his mom who looked questioningly at him from the living room as he stalked upstairs to fall unceremoniously on his bed. "Why do I suck so much?" He pondered quietly. He decided he would force his friendship if you could even call it that, with Kyle to be strictly platonic and not even hint at anything else. The thought of rejection almost caused him physical pain. He closed his eyes, hoping to force these thoughts away by sheer willpower.
Kyle hadn't noticed Cartman's hard on and was thoroughly confused by the entire encounter. Kyle shrugged slightly and moved to find Stan deciding he would text Cartman later.
"Kyle! Over here." Stan waved to his friend from his locker. He ran up to Kyle and hugged him tightly. "I'm so glad you're coming over today! I was scared you'd bail at the last minute. You've been pretty flaky lately." Stan scolded slightly.
Kyle smiled sheepishly, "I'm really sorry Stan. I promise I'll bring you up to speed on a few things for sure when we get to your house."
"Sweet!" Stan said as he grabbed the redhead's arm and practically dragged him to his car. He was surprised his friend's face wasn't hurting from smiling so much. Kyle couldn't help but smile equally widely. God he loved his best friend like a brother.
The two chatted enthusiastically as Stan dragged Kyle towards Stan's small 2 door truck. "Sorry for the mess." Stan added unnecessarily as Kyle hopped into the slightly lifted red truck.
The boys swung by Kyle's so he could pick up his insulin and clothes for the next two nights. Due to the encounter earlier, Kyle elected to run inside alone. "Hey dad." Kyle grinned in genuine relief that his mom wasn't home yet.
Gerald sat his paper aside and took his reading glasses off, "Hey son, listen, about last night."
"It's okay Dad. I get mom's side, too I really do." Kyle really didn't sympathize with his mom's view at all but really didn't want to talk about Cartman right now anyway.
Gerald shook his head gently yet firmly, "No, Kyle, just listen. Please. I promise I'm not going to scold you."
Kyle fought the urge to roll his eyes and pursed his lips. "Don't give me that look, son. Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm proud of you and I trust your judgment when it comes to almost anything. You're not a kid anymore, Kyle, and nobody should treat you like one."
Kyle's eyes widened. This was awesome; his dad trusted him for the most part.
"Try telling mom that." Kyle quipped pensively.
Gerald sighed. "Kyle, if it was just up to me, you'd have a car and be driving right now. God knows we have enough money to get you one. But I know Stan's outside and you're in a hurry so we can discuss that some other time."
Kyle grabbed his already packed bag from behind the kitchen counter and hugged his Dad. "Thanks that means a lot Dad. Honestly."
Kyle went for the door.
"And one more thing. As far as I'm concerned the jury is still out on your friend Eric. If anybody can bring out the good in him, it's you Kyle. I trust you. Have fun at Stan's and your party tomorrow." He smiled and waved.
"-What party?" Kyle tried to play it off.
"I'm not as easy to fool as your mother. Have some fun! You deserve it. Off with you, Kyle. Be safe." Gerald turned back to his coffee and newspaper, signaling the end of the conversation.
Kyle closed the door lightly, re-entering Stan's truck.
"Party on!" Kyle grinned at Stan as he sat in his truck.
No one else was home yet so the boys went upstairs to talk a bit.
"Huh, weird," Stan commented as he scrolled through his phone. "Kenny left me a voicemail yesterday but we're not supposed to go get drinks until 6 tonight. Better see what he needed."
Stan moved the phone to his ear. "Wait!" Kyle grabbed Stan's arm. Stan looked at Kyle like he had grown an extra head. "What's wrong?"
"Umm, about that. I know what Kenny wanted." Kyle looked away from Stan.
"There's no easy way to say it Stan. Kenny and your sister Shelley are kind of talking and are meeting up at the party."
Silence permeated the room. Stan hadn't even blinked for what Kyle swore was 5 minutes.
He lightly tapped his best friend's arm. "Stan, I'm sorry. I only found out yesterday early afternoon and only waited to tell you because he said he would himself. He only did a voicemail because he ran out of minutes."
Stan shook his head. Shock finally registering on his face. "I knew she was talking to someone new. I just can't believe it's Kenny fucking McCormick."
"Oh well, whatever. If it makes her happy, then I guess I'm happy." Stan shook his head one more time then turned towards Kyle. "So is that why you've been acting weird and secretive lately?"
"No dude. Like I said I found out probably 30 minutes before he left you that voicemail. I promise."
"I believe you. Now what's your big secret Kyle?" Stan leaned closer to Kyle smirking slightly.
Kyle really didn't know what to say. He still didn't want anyone knowing about his illness since he hadn't received a definite answer yet. He decided on the partial truth. "My head had been hurting a lot so I finally went to the doctor."
Stan just gave him a look that said please continue. "Doctor said he figured it wasn't anything too serious, but I have to go back in a month for more tests to make sure." Stan looked worried. "Easy, Stan. It's just a precaution." Kyle faked a laugh which Stan readily believed and laughed with him.
"Take care of yourself Kyle. Let's have fun! Which game? Call of Duty or World of Warcraft? You can pick!"
Kyle grabbed Call of Duty without a second thought. "Your ass is going down!"
A/N: There's a reason Cartman is coming to terms with his feelings long before Kyle. And don't worry Cartman's not going to get too dark, just emotional which is kind of how I picture his character anyway. Hope you liked this chapter.