Cartman wasn't going to send that last text. He really wasn't, but then he pictured Kyle lying in bed, red hair splayed every which a way, with the covers pulled up to his chin and was struck by how adorable the mental picture was. This was quite easy for him to imagine, considering he had snuck in Kyle's room more times than he could count. It had started as a malicious eavesdropping/spying, but had become a guilty pleasure of Cartman's. He then fell asleep, visions of the redheaded Jew haunting his dreams.
As soon as the mall opened the next day, Stan had Kyle dressed and practically dragged him to his truck. "No friend of mine will be looking like a bum in front of his crush! No way in hell." Stan was so sure of himself and so enthusiastic Kyle didn't have the heart to discourage him.
"But do I really look like a bum? Isn't that a little harsh Stan?" Kyle was actually a little offended by the remark. He brushed his hair everyday as best he could, wore deodorant and cologne, and showered at least once a day. He also would never dream of wearing the same clothes two days in a row. 'That shit was just gross.'
Stan smiled as they entered the mall, "I do it out of love buddy. But not really a bum, just someone who knows nothing about fashion whatsoever. Which to girls is just as bad." Stan gently grabbed Kyle's arm again, "Off we go!"
'Good thing I'm not actually trying to impress a girl.'
After the third store, Kyle was getting pissed off. Stan had criticized just about every article of clothing Kyle had remotely liked for whatever reason or reasons. "Too outdated." "Too dorky." "Too cheap looking." "Too snobby looking." "Too brightly colored." "Too dark; you look emo."
He was close to ripping his hair out, when Stan's eyes widened at his current outfit. "Oh my God, Kyle. Fuck."
"What?" Kyle looked at himself in the mirror and turned around sort of in a manly twirl kind of way.
Stan didn't say anything.
"Stan, what's wrong? Does it look that bad? Don't hold back." Kyle laughed sarcastically.
"No! You look good, actually. Like, no homo, but you look fucking hot." Stan ran a hand through his black hair, trying not to make his compliment anymore awkward than it clearly already was.
Kyle blushed deeply in embarrassment. He was wearing tight black leather pants that clung to his legs and ass in all the right places and a dark green button-down shirt that was just as tight.
He really had no clue how good he looked right now. "Let me just fix this." Stan unbuttoned the top two buttons for Kyle. "There, now she won't be able to keep her hands off of you for sure. Hell, I barely can and I'm straight." Stan joked.
Kyle blushed further, "Stan knock it off." He quickly rebuttoned the shirt. "I'm not confident enough to pull something like this off. I'm just not. This is way more your style."
"Kyle, I rarely seriously argue with you but now is one of those times I'm not letting you win. You're wearing that outfit tonight just like that."
Kyle looked irritated.
"I see the way you look when everyone's talking about their girlfriends and boyfriends. You want someone too and there's no shame at all in that." Stan said sympathetically.
Kyle deadpanned, "I'm not desperate Stan and I never said any of that."
"You didn't have to. I'm your best friend; I just know things like that, whether you say it or not." He winked.
Kyle finally stopped protesting and paid for the clothes. "What shoes?"
There was a gleam in Stan's eyes. "Follow me!"
He picked a moderately expensive men's store and picked out some black pointed toe men's boots. "Try these on. And yes this is your size." Stan thrust the pair of shoes at Kyle.
He picked them up and turned them around and around. "Are you sure these are for men? They're sort of feminine-looking."
Stan just pointed to the Men's Apparel sign.
He tried them on and made sure he could walk in them.
"Well?" Stan said expectantly.
"They're weird to walk in, but comfortable all the same."
"Cool. Now let's go get the alcohol we want and get ready for tonight. It's already 12PM." Stan said after they had paid for the shoes.
Kyle had texted Kenny not to worry about coming to the liquor store.
A friend of theirs worked at Liquors R Us so that was where the boys always went. The friend's name was Kevin, Kenny's older brother, and he always looked at their IDs in case the manager was to walk in but let them get whatever they wanted as long as they had the money.
"Hey guys. What'll it be today? I heard about the big party. Hope it's kick ass." Kevin grinned.
"Better be. You coming?" Stan said as he and Kyle began browsing the huge variety of liquors.
Kevin sighed, "Nah, I'm too old for stuff like that, gotta work late anyway."
Kyle found what he wanted in a flash, "That's a bummer man." He picked up his favorite Patron and placed it in the cart.
"You sure you don't want a smaller size, Kyle, fuck that's a lot of alcohol." Stan was impressed.
"I'm sure. I've been so stressed lately that I feel like I could use the extra." Kyle said.
"Alright dude." Stan added his favorite Jack Daniels to the cart.
"Hey how about we go half and half on something decent for Kenny so he doesn't just have PBR like last time?" Kyle suggested.
"Yeah, I don't mind that at all. I have a little extra anyway." They decided on this drink called Hypnotik. "Worst case scenario, the drink tastes like shit and the bottle's pretty. He better not try and use it to get my sister drunk, though." Stan mused.
As the boys made their way to the checkout, Kyle couldn't help recall the earlier conversation with Cartman. It couldn't hurt to grab him a little Jager. If the setting wasn't right, then he and Stan could always drink it themselves. Kyle picked up the medium size Jager bottle and added it to the counter. "I didn't know you drank Jager Kyle." Stan piped up.
Kyle laughed nervously, "Doesn't hurt to try something new every so often."
"Uh huh." Stan replied skeptically. Kyle was a creature of habit if there ever was one and this fact didn't go unnoticed to Stan.
They paid and left for Stan's to get dressed.
Stan wore a dark blue dress shirt and black pants that were form fitting but not as much so as Kyle's. They headed over to the party site about an hour after the official time. Being too early was lame, but so was getting there too late. Kyle had tried to convince Stan not to make him unbutton his shirt, but his best friend had whined so much, Kyle eventually gave in.
The two boys had scarcely knocked on the door when Kenny gave them both a huge hug in answer, "So glad you guys made it." He wasn't drunk yet, just having a good time.
"Nice look Kyle, just damn." Kenny winked as he ushered them both in.
"Before I forget, we brought you something Kenny." Stan and Kyle both handed him the bottle. "Thanks guys!" Kenny grinned widely. "Now we can get this party really started."
The music was good and loud. The food was set up and looked amazing. Everyone present was either drinking or had a drink in their hands. Kyle said hey to everyone he saw from a drunken Butters with his arms wrapped around a girl from West Park to a slightly bored Token who was trying to catch the end of the soccer game on TV despite all the noise.
No Cartman yet. Kyle tried not to be disappointed. Just because they were now considered friends didn't mean much at least Kyle tried to tell himself that.
Stan spotted Wendy, "Hey Kyle would you mind putting the Jack in the kitchen? Wendy's waving me over."
Kyle nodded, "No problem. Want me to take that for you Ken- Nevermind." Kyle was offering to put the Hypnotik in the kitchen as well until Kenny had proceeded to drink a hefty amount straight from the bottle.
Kyle walked into the kitchen placing the drinks down and turned to go when a loud familiar voice startled him, "Did you bring my drink?"
Cartman was standing over his shoulder and he hadn't even noticed him move there. He was smiling at Kyle. There was a red solo cup in his hand filled with some type of clear drink.
Kyle turned around fully crossing his arms over his chest. "Depends. Did you bring mine fatass?"
Cartman inhaled sharply. Kyle's confidence coupled with his choice in clothes was irresistible. He momentarily forgot how to breathe.
"Cartman? Are you okay? You're turning awfully pale." Kyle leaned toward him worriedly.
He shooed the shorter boy away, "I'm fine, Jew." He was glad his voice wasn't shaking or anything gay like that.
Cartman stepped around him and opened the freezer, "It was really cheap and on sale. But it practically jumped out at me." He tried to make it seem like he hadn't deliberated for nearly 45 minutes trying to find a suitable alcohol he thought Kyle might like.
"Wow, Cartman? Watermelon Belvedare Vodka? I've never tried it but I heard this was really pricy stuff."
"Don't flatter yourself Jew. Like I said it was on sale." He waved his hand dismissively. "Oh before I forget here you go. This seems kind of shitty in comparison though." He handed Cartman the Jager. Their hands touched a little longer than would be normal.
"Thanks Kyle!" Cartman moved to hug him and then hesitated, deciding not to at the last second, but Kyle hugged him instead. It was a relatively short hug, but Cartman relished in the feel of Kyle's bare skin against him for those few seconds.
"Thanks Cartman. That was um, really nice of you to get that for me." Kyle blushed slightly. 'So fucking cute'. Cartman thought.
Cartman glanced to make sure no one had seen the hug. Not that he really gave a fuck what other people thought, but he figured if people teased Kyle about it then he would lose any fraction of a chance he might otherwise have.
"Take a shot with me." Cartman said. "I can put the Red Bull in it or not. Since you've never had Jager, right? I'll let you pick."
Cartman set his cup down and placed two clean empty shot glasses that seemed to have appeared from nowhere in front of Kyle and himself.
"I don't really drink energy drinks." Kyle said with slight apprehension.
"Okay, then straight Jager it is." Cartman gracefully poured the shots without spilling a drop, though Kyle guessed from the redness on his cheeks and his overly friendly mannerisms that he was at least a little tipsy. Kyle decided that Cartman had beautiful hands as he watched him pour the drinks.
He handed Kyle the shot. "3, 2, 1 go!"
They drank it together; Kyle trying to decide if he liked the taste while Cartman enjoyed his favorite drink.
"Not bad, not bad." Cartman slung an arm around Kyle's neck and continued to smile at him in that way that made Kyle feel very, very warm inside.
'Was he already fucking drunk? Why did he feel so warm?'
Before he had fully thought about it, he had already said it. "Take a shot of the vodka with me. After all, you paid for it." Kyle was impressed with his own boldness tonight that was for sure.
"It was a gift, but fine, I'll drink a shot with you, but don't share it with anyone else." Cartman said seriously. 'Wow, possessive much?' Still, Kyle couldn't help but find that kind of attractive.
Kyle poured the drinks this time and handed Cartman his. Kyle drank his fastest because he enjoyed the taste of vodka. Cartman wasn't used to drinking vodka straight and almost gagged, but kept his composure just barely.
"How the hell can you drink this stuff straight like that Kyle?"
Kyle was smiling widely now, "That was amazing. Thanks Cartman." He made eye contact with the larger boy. Neither guy looked away as Kyle tried to decipher the expression in Cartman's eyes and vice versa.
Suddenly, a loud crash was heard. "Ugh, damn it! What the fuck are you fags doing in here?" Bebe had knocked someone's beer bottle over. She was obviously drunk as her eyes were unfocused and she usually didn't speak so coarsely.
"We're not fags, Bebe. We are clearly having man conversation and drinking manly drinks so just fuck off." Cartman was so dismissive Kyle had to stifle a giggle.
"Whatever buttfuckers. Come out and be social with the rest of us, besides at least Kyle's good looking enough to get a girl, unlike you." Bebe tried to grab Kyle's arm and drag him out while continuing to insult Cartman.
"Bebe, let go of my arm." Kyle gently tried to pull away without hurting her as she was obviously not fully in control of her actions. A drunk Bebe was also surprisingly strong compared to a sober Bebe.
Cartman stood over Bebe, all trace of joking gone from his expression, "Seriously, Bebe. Let go of him. He doesn't want to go anywhere with you."
Bebe shoved Cartman so roughly that he hit the corner of the table hard. He didn't think she would actually touch him. He was beyond shocked. 'That shit hurt.'
Bebe was silent for a bit as Cartman glared at her arm on Kyle's barely acknowledging that she had hurt him outwardly at least.
She gasped sharply, "Oh my fucking God! Are you serious? I was just kidding, but this shit, this will make school headlines."
Kyle just looked confused as he continued to try to pull away from Bebe. And Cartman continued to look murderous.
"The school emotionless fatass has fucking gay feelings for sexy little Kyle here. I saw that look Cartman. See Kyle, you need to stay away from him. Now he's going to try to rape you or hurt you, because that's all that worthless asshole can do."
Kyle had turned to look at Cartman's face when she had said "see Kyle" and had seen a look that almost physically caused him pain. Cartman's face was filled with such a deep pain and sadness and right when Kyle thought he was going to severely hurt her, Cartman covered his face and ran from the kitchen.
Kyle finally succeeded in jerking away from Bebe. "Now where were we Kyle?" Bebe reeked of alcohol as she tried to kiss Kyle. He shoved her lightly, "WE were nowhere. Fuck off. You went too fucking far." He ran off after Cartman.
Kenny entered the kitchen just as Kyle was leaving it. "Is there a problem in here guys? Cartman just ran upstairs covering his face. Did you punch him Kyle?" He joked.
"The problem is right there." Kyle muttered pointing at Bebe. "I'm going to go talk to Cartman."
Bebe looked crestfallen as she turned to Kenny and tried to cling to him, "Why doesn't Kyle think I'm pretty? Why does he care about that asshole?" Kenny looked up as Shelley walked in and hugged him after he managed to put Bebe at arm's length.. "Bebe, I think you need to get someone to take you home. You're all kinds of fucked up." Shelley gave her a look as she and Kenny exited the room.
Kyle knocked on the upstairs bathroom door, "Cartman? Can I come in?" Lucikly downstairs the music and drinking games had gotten so crazy that no one was really missing Cartman or Kyle at the moment.
Kyle could have sworn he heard crying, but then the door unlocked. He walked in the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Cartman was sitting on the floor, his hands covering his face, his body shaking slightly.
Kyle approached with slight caution as he sat beside him without touching him. He felt like he was walking on eggshells. Cartman could be terribly unpredictable.
"Hey." Kyle began carefully.
Cartman sniffed, "Why are you here? Aren't you just going to agree with her?! Like everyone else."
He looked up at Kyle. Tears running down his cheeks. "You probably want to laugh at me. Go ahead. I can't blame you."
Something in Kyle's heart twisted with Cartman's pathetically hurt voice. He walked over to Cartman and wrapped his arms around him, holding him as close to him as he possibly could.
Cartman flinched and tensed up. Kyle gently touched his side. He lifted Cartman's shirt up slightly to see the bruise Bebe had inflicted. It would heal, but it was turning a sickly purple color and the skin was broken a little. He gently ran his hand over it. Cartman inhaled sharply.
"Sorry!" Kyle said pulling his hand away. Cartman took this opportunity to pull Kyle into a very intimate hug where Kyle's head was flush against Cartman's chest.
Kyle blushed hard at being in such close proximity but hugged him back. The position was awkward because both boys were sitting on a floor in a bathroom, but it was still a sweet scene. After nearly ten minutes, Cartman let go, refusing to make eye contact.
He stood up to leave. Kyle then grabbed his hand pulling him back down. "Cartman, I'm not drunk you saw me I only drank two drinks and I want you to listen to me. Bebe is a fucking idiot. She's totally wrong about you. You have a heart and you do have feelings. And well, I can't stand seeing you look so upset. Please say something, anything."
Cartman breathed heavily, "Thanks, Kyle. Even if you are just trying to be nice. That makes me…" He didn't say anything for a long time. "Happy." He whispered.
Kyle stood up now. "Stop that! You're Eric Fucking Cartman. Don't worry about what some girl thinks. Hell, you don't care what anybody thinks and that's one of the things I like most about you. And she's wrong about me. I don't think any of that shit she said. I really think-"
He was cut off by a soft chuckle, "What do you really think?" At least he had stopped crying now that was good.
Kyle stared at Cartman feeling empowered, "I really think your actions prove that you wanted to protect me and to me that counts for something." That wasn't exactly what Kyle was going to say, but his first thought scared him so he picked safer territory.
"Now we're going to go out there and have fucking fun, okay? Forget Bebe. Forget anybody who has some stupid shit to say to either one of us." Kyle was absolutely perfect in this moment in Cartman's eyes and he smiled when he realized that all of this confidence and passion was his effort to make Cartman feel better. It made him feel very special.
"Okay. Um, Jew can you not tell anybody about this?" Cartman said insecurely.
Kyle looked incredulous, "Obviously, dumbass." He flashed Cartman a smile and extended his hand to help the larger boy up.
Cartman took it and followed Kyle downstairs, their hands entwined the whole time. Cartman's mind was reeling at Kyle's statement, "one of the things I like most about you." He took this opportunity to look at the gorgeous Jew holding his hand walking slightly in front of him down the stairs. What all the girls said was totally true. Kyle's ass was indeed, amazing.
A/N: Whoa guys. So this literally wrote itself. Hope you guys liked it. Also, don't focus too much on any types of alcohol. I do drink, but only occasionally and none of that expensive shit so I just googled some stuff to see what was really pricy. I know Belvedere is an actual alcohol but as for if it really comes in watermelon I couldn't tell you. :D I wanted to make it a special gift sort of thing plus I like watermelon.