A/n: No internet which means no Fanfiction or southparkstudios. The least I can do is write. Also, this is a hint as to why this fic is rated M, besides the language of course. I hope it doesn't disappoint. Enjoy!

Kyle texted his mom while he and Stan were driving over. He knew from past experiences that his mom would be more than happy to set an extra plate out for Stan, a text was more than sufficient notice.

Stan suddenly realized something, "Do your parents know?" Kyle shook his head vigorously. "And I intend to keep it that way indefinitely. They would freak out and disown me."

Stan replied smoothly, "Your mom definitely might, but I think your dad would be accepting."

Kyle clicked his teeth together thoughtfully as Stan's truck pulled into his house's driveway. "You might be right on that one, but that's who I'm worried about Stan. My mom has always had this idea in her head that I will marry a pretty, smart Jewish girl and have lots of perfectly Jewish children with her. Oh, and that I will be a lawyer, that she's pretty dead set on too." Kyle looked a bit perplexed as he finished speaking.

Stan smiled sympathetically. "I know you want to be a surgeon Kyle. What I don't understand is why your mom has such a problem with it. Surgeons can make just as much if not more than lawyers. Plus, not everybody's a kid person."

Kyle cut in before they stepped out of the truck, "Money isn't her concern, neither is what I want. She wants me to be as normal, boring, and cookie cutter as possible. Or as she says," he imitated her nasally voice at this point, "We only want what's best for you Kyle."

They ended the conversation and walked through the door. "Hey mom, we're here."

"Smells amazing Mrs. Broflovski," Stan complimented. Why couldn't Cartman be as flattering and kind to his family as Stan, Kyle thought. Then again, maybe he'll prove all of us wrong Wednesday. 'Ha'.

Sheila now looked completely normal. Her mind was still on her earlier conversation as she wondered if she had done the right thing. The person hadn't even specified how they would teach Cartman a lesson, hopefully it was something harsh enough to keep him away from Kyle.

Gerald was working late at the office and Ike was still grounded for "inappropriate behavior", so dinner was pleasant but silent.

Kyle decided in front of Stan was the best time to bring up the Cartman dinner. "Hey mom, what are your plans for Wednesday?"

Sheila smiled sweetly, "No plans right now. How come bubbie?"

"Well, I was wondering if I could have a friend over for dinner."

She continued to smile a smile that Stan couldn't help think was either fake or forced. "You know Stanley is always welcome here, anytime."

Stan could tell the conversation was about to go south, so he turned his full attention to the potatoes and gravy that remained on his plate. 'Nope, fuck that shit, I'm not getting in the middle of this. Kyle you're my bro but your mom can be downright frightening.'

"It's," Kyle cleared his throat, "not Stan mom, it's Eric." Kyle wasn't even 100% sure why he had said Eric instead of Cartman. He guessed it was subconscious, but since they were getting closer, Eric seemed like an okay name to use, every once in a while.

"Eric Cartman?" Sheila deadpanned. Stan was getting really up close and personal with his potatoes while Kyle was steeling himself for a reaction of epic proportions.

She sighed heavily, her voice retaining only a hint of venom, "You're not letting this go are you Kyle? Fine, have him over for dinner! But the first backhanded insult or poorly veiled racial slur and you will both regret this, got it?!" She threw her hands up as she stood up to busily clear the dishes.

Kyle released a breath, thinking she was done. But before he could thank her, she turned on Stan.

"Stanley, you're a straight edged boy." Was it just him or had she put extra emphasis on the word straight for some strange reason? No, Kyle tried to calm his rapidly beating heart, that had to be his imagination.

"Has the Cartman boy changed towards you?"

Why did she have to do this right now and spur of the moment too? Just my freaking luck. Stan decided to tell the truth. "Truthfully, he acts the same towards me but I have noticed him being a lot kinder towards Kyle. They worked on that project together you know? Plus, Cartman doesn't make racist jokes hardly ever anymore." Okay the last part was an outright lie, though he hadn't heard anything directed at Kyle in at least 3 weeks, Cartman still loved his black and gay jokes.

"Hmm," Sheila responded passively. "Thank you. I know I can trust you Stanley." She looked pointedly at Kyle.

Kyle rolled his eyes, "Let's go up to play video games."

"Sorry man, I have to leave, Wendy's supposed to call later and since I'm still in the doghouse I might want to actually answer this time. See you later Kyle." They hugged and Stan left.

Kyle felt uncomfortable. His mom continued to stare intensely at him. "What?"

She pursed her lips, "Nothing. I just hope you know what's best for you and don't get sidetracked by anything or anyone."

'How fucking informative. Without another word he went up to his room to play video games alone.

He decided to text Cartman a little. The friendly banter turned questionable about the fourth text.

"So what are you going to wear Wed?" Kyle asked.

Nothing. Jk whatever I want to wear, didn't know this was formal.

Kyle blushed at the thought of Cartman wearing nothing even though he knew he was just kidding. He didn't know what to say back, luckily Cartman texted again.

What are you wearing right now?

Kyle responded, pajamas…creep. Lol

You ruined it. Lol you have to be more descriptive. Anyway we're not going to that Jewish church thing after we eat or something are we? Because I'm pretty sure it would burst in flames if I went in there. XD

Kyle laughed aloud. You mean the synagogue? And nah only once a week on Saturday is more than enough, believe me haha.

Kyle felt bold, and since you asked so nicely. I'm wearing long cotton bottoms and a metallica t shirt.

Cartman's face flushed as he imagined Kyle sitting on the bed wearing that. He felt slightly aroused from the thought alone, just think what a picture would do. Cartman smacked himself lightly in the face. 'Fuck. My. Life.'

He knew he shouldn't, like seriously. At all. But he couldn't resist. He took out a few pictures he had of Kyle at a distance and slowly began stroking himself. 'God why did the ginger have to be so damn enticing?!' He kept his moans soft or silent but began increasing his pace. His phone buzzed, demanding his attention elsewhere.

Did I make that too weird? I figured you were just kidding. My bad?

'Kyle was too fucking cute for his own good'. Nah nah lol just got distracted. What do you want to talk about?

Kyle decided one last bold question couldn't hurt. What are you wearing? He held his breath. 'Now watch him get called a flaming faggot. Real smooth Kyle.'

The response was better than Kyle had hoped, Just black gym shorts.

Kyle was slightly turned on by this but decided not to appear shocked by the response and talk about something else.

What do you do for fun, besides hang out with us and stuff? Kyle realized how lame this sounded only after he had sent it but oh well he wanted to know.

Party and get laid LMAO. By you in my dreams Cartman mentally added. That was only partially accurate. Anything with Kyle he wouldn't want to be a one time thing. He knew for thinking this that it made him such a pansy but he really didn't care.

Kyle laughed seriously?

Don't steal my word! But no just chill with Mr. Kitty or photography stuff. U?

Whatever, and pretty much study or get in trouble. You know how my mom is. But you'll have to show me your photography sometime even though it probably sucks.

Aye! It's really good I'll have you know. And ummm maybe. Anyways it's getting late. Goodnight Kyle.

I'll be the judge of that and goodnight Eric. Kyle decided he would test the waters over text and if he wasn't cursed out before the dinner for calling him Eric then maybe he would call him that more often. Come to think of it, he wasn't entirely sure why they didn't just call him Eric. He fell asleep musing over Cartman's potential reaction, too scared of his mom walking in to take care of his little problem.

Cartman wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes. Kyle had actually called him Eric, albeit it was over text, but maybe this meant something. Unfortunately, his erection had come back full force with Kyle's interest in his photography and using his actual name, just the thought of his name on Kyle's lips turned him on further. He took out some more of his photographs, not that he really needed them. The redhead haunted most of his dreams anyway. This was the reason he really didn't want Kyle to see them or know much about them period. The pictures were mostly of him. Some were of him sleeping, others were group pictures, and a few were at a distance. He knew having these made him a total stalker and beyond any help, but he decided he had passed that point a while back. The ones that weren't of Kyle were of Cartman himself, Mr. Kitty, or Cartman and his mom.

His favorite one that he had was a rare one taken about a year ago when Stan had gone through another emo phase and only hung out with the goth kids. Kenny had been balls deep in some random chick at the time, so Kyle was the only one in the group to hang out with. The particular photo was of the two of them at Stark's pond. Kyle was laughing and had his arm loosely, almost possessively around Cartman's shoulder. Cartman was smiling slightly in the picture. After this fun time, they had gone back to acting like enemies but Cartman hoped that never happened again. He hoped this time, against all hope, that he himself could truly be Kyle's friend and that Kyle was genuinely giving him a chance as well.

He decided just to try to sleep his boner off when he heard his mom still washing dishes downstairs.

Kyle had come over at a moment's notice. Cartman was sick and in bed complaining of being cold. Kyle happily got in bed to warm him up, muttering sweet things to him and touching him everywhere. One thing led to another, Kyle's mouth was on his dick. He was bobbing back and forth, deepthroating him senselessly. A huge wave of pleasure went through Cartman, before climaxing, he yanked Kyle's pants off and returned the favor, thoroughly enjoying the sensation of the smaller boy's member in his throat. They switched positions so the two could both be pleasured, Kyle began sucking him off while he returned the favor simultaneously. They came together. The two always snuggled afterwards because this wasn't their first time. Cartman stared into the green eyes that he loved so much and then he kissed Kyle passionately. The redheaded boy kissed back with just as much fervor. "I love you Kyle, with all my heart." Cartman confessed passionately.

"I love you too Eric." Kyle replied with just as much conviction.

Cartman awoke panting, with a throbbing in his dick and an emptiness in his heart. It was the same dream most nights and 'it would always only be that, just a fucking dream.'

A/N: How was it? No, seriously let me know. The worst you can say is it's horrible and I'll cry, no but I've never done lemon/lime/anything so honesty is best. I will say it's choppy and fast paced because it's a dream and I don't want anyone thinking it's real for too long. XD Also, I feel like Cartman's really angsty but my idea is that he's trying desperately not to screw things up with the guy he loves and has for a while, while thinking the object of his affection only thinks of him at best as a friend. So, he's going to have some emotional turmoil, understandably.