Beyond The Past

Chapter 12 – Is There Something What She Needs To Know, Or We Can Let It Go, Now?

A/N: I dont own Resident Evil, still. If I would do, Kira would be a real character. May contains more flashback, or even something more.

Waking up next to the woman, that I've fallen in love is a real good feeling. I felt her hands around my back, holding close, forcing it to a hug. I just watched her, taking her breaths, and slowly, don't realising, that I'm watching her.

I've never watched anyone during sleeping time. I know, I got watched during sleeping, but that time, that was cute. Way amazing, how I ever felt. I just wish sometimes these hard new days could be like the good old ones…

„I never felt you so close to me, like you are now, to me, Kira…"

As the sentence runned through me, I felt my breath isn't finding a way, to the real life. I bited my lip, as hard, I didn't felt any air in me. Like a panic attack, but more harder. No breath, means old, good memory.

„Is there something wrong, sweetheart?" I felt Claire's sweet voice, breaking me out of my mad feeling.

„I don't know why I'm still having these damn panic attack things…" I sighed, as I turned to face her. I felt my face turning red, from the aftermath of the attack.

„You can tell me, if you want to, you know, you have me…" She whispered. „But if the panic attack contains a memory from the past, what contains your father, leave me out of that, I don't want my vision to break out, because of that, what shouldn't be hearable to me"

„Then I keep it inside me" I turned around, to face the walls.

I heard her sigh, and I felt how her arm is touching mine, to turn me around. I faced her, again. Yes, I could cry, just because I felt the old memory running throught my head. I could burts out in a deep pain, what I've did, since we broked up. It runned my life.

„You are my forever, Kira… Reason to breath, reason to wake up… More to explain?"

I held my hand, to cover my face, as I felt some tears running down. Wish I could end this nightmare, but there's something about having an endless love, what was a not with you, but not even without you father-daughter relationship. My past is way beyond this, and a way messed up.

„Don't tell me he gaved you the infinity beetwen your life straight to hell, while your life wouldn't end like ever?" She asked, while looking at me.

„Your soo right, Claire…" I answered, while fighting with my tears. „I don't know why I'm even here…"

„It's over, Kira. You're not his girlfriend anymore, you're mine, now. You can quit from this sadness, I don't know how to make you forget it, because first relationships, cannot be forgotten. I still survive from nightmares, because of my first relationship. We're not able to forget, if it's from a person who's still a part of our life. And we can't even forget it, but if you listen to me, and you maybe try hard to forget him, you will be able to look foward, to the hard future…" She told me.

All those hard words, hard sentences, filled with romance, and love, what he gaved to me, maked it worster. Because I was a fool, little girl, who looked for love. Found it in a starnge eye, filling it with optimism. And it maked me feel happy. Being with him, maked my days worth for living. And I think, it still does.

Memories hard to let go, and I won't fight against it. I just want Claire to know, I'm a hard person to deal with, if it's about my father…

„ - I'm sure I will be in love with you, even after if the 'possible' break-up is comming to get us.

- Make me sure I won't going to give my head to this broke-up thing.

- As long as we love eachother, there's nothing to be afraid of."

Claire held me in her arms, and let my tears to be a river, around her. I felt her hands moving away, as she held out her cigarette box to me, with her lighter. I nodded, while I moved my hand, to take the painkiller.

As my hands moved with the cigarette, I realised, how I missed smoking, after crying. I remember, how I fulled my cigarettes with the anti-virus, overdosing cigarettes, after the hard breaking up. I wish that could happen after my seventeenth birthday, because it killed my birthday.

It's almost happenned a year ago, because we're still in March. End of March. A month after my father's birthday. How ironic, his birthday is a day before Valentine's Day. It's ironic, and I still laugh at it. At the end of April, I'm having my birhtday, turning eighteen, what will makes me leave every bad memory, as a moving on, a new chapter in my life.

„Do you feel alright?" She asked, looking into my red eyes. „I don't want to see my baby sad"

„Nothing to worry, honey… I feel a little better" I tried to wear a smile, but she noticed how hard I'm trying, so she moved and kissed me, on my lips.

„Good, because now you're going to meet up with the past" She stood up, and held her hand out to me, to make me stand up, with her.

„How you mean it?" I asked.

„You're going to go downstairs, with me. And face your father, without the one you've dated with"

I looked down, without trying to blush, because of the mentoing. I shaked my head, while I've laughed, while I've pulled myself closer to her. I looked up at her, and she smiled at me. There's nothing more, I need in my life. I have everything.

„I need a little moment, I go down, I swear" I explained.

„Alright, smokey girl, you find my box under the bed" She blinked at me, then she turned around, and went out of the room.

„I'm glad that I've found you" I heard a voice behind me. When I turned around, I saw the hologram of the White Queen. I was in shock. What the hell is going on? „Not to worry, I'm not giving any information to the Red Queen, I just got a message for you"

„So my dad is missing his almost adult daughter?" I laughed. „Not so funny, but get the message, I have a meeting up with the Redfields down there, they're waiting for me"

„The Anti-Virus in your body is fully killed, yes. You're no longer under the control of the Red Queen, yes. But your memory is still int he hands of the Red Queen, you have to get it back, and you can get it only, with a fight, and getting back to the facility" She explained.

„Good to know it, sweetheart. Now, begone and tell my father I'm safe, and I'm getting back to the facility this night" I answered.

„He also says, he still loves you, no matter what happenned" The blood freezed down in me. I wish I couldn't hear that sentence…

„Tell him I have the same feeling…" As I finnished my sentence, the hologram dissapeared.

Why can't I just be a normal bisexual teenager, without having a morning with a chat of a hologram who's telling me, my memories are still disable me to look back?

A/N: Have you noticed the hints? The hints for Wesker's birthday, and for a Weskerfield song, lol. I'm such a lovable person.

Springbreak is finally over! And I'm back with this chappie. My TC's birthday is only days away, and I'm exicted for it. And I have to plan it, in the eye of my class. It's guilty pleasure. :)