Author's Note: Yeah, another one already. This story's gonna be updated quite frequently cause I really enjoy writing it.
Chapter 2: He Who Reveled in the Sins
"Who the fuck was that?!" Panty asked, shaken from the entire situation.
"I have no idea." Stocking responded. She looked in the rear view mirror and saw him catching up with the car. "PANTY GO FASTER!" she screamed!
Panty pushed the pedal to the floor, making them go as fast as they physically could. They then realized that they were a little too close to the church.
"SHIT!" they shouted in unison.
See Through smashed through the doors and collided with Brief on the way in. They missed Garder and the altar by a hair and crashed into the wall.
"Guys! Are- are you alright?!" Brief shouted.
They poked their heads out of the wreckage and gave cheesy smiles. "That was nothing!" Panty yelled.
"Thank the lord he didn't butcher the two of you," Garder sighed.
"Hey Afro, are you feeling alright?" Stocking asked.
"Yeah, you usually don't give two shits about what happens to us," Panty added. "What's going on?"
He looked at the hole in the wall and glared. "Actually, you'll just have to ask him yourselves."
They looked at the opening and recoiled in terror. "It's h-"
"Don't get your tampons in a twist. He can't lay a finger on any of us while we're on this sacred ground."
"Sadly so. Garderbelt, it's been a while."
"It has been quite some time, Pierce." he spat. "Care to explain to the girls who you are and to me what the hell you're doing here?"
"Sure thing, Bible thumper." Garder growled at the comment. The way he talked was unlikeable by everyone in the room, yet personable at the same time. Like he was having the time of his life, and simultaneously couldn't give a damn about what was going on. "Do I have to give an origin story or somethin'?"
"It'd probably help, yes," Garder commented.
"Alright then. Origin story time!" he cheered. "Several thousand years ago, I died."
"This story smells a lot like bullshit," Panty hollered.
"He is indeed telling the truth, ya hoe bag. Continue, Pierce."
"Thank you, Father Lingerie." Garderbelt grimaced. "I was impaled by guard under Egyptian pharaoh Cheops' command after I looked at some 'classified information' about the Great Pyramids. Garder witnessed this during his time in Egypt at that point in history.
"The passing was blissful, to say the least. I was welcomed through the pearly gates, and since my death was 'unjust' and sin count at zero, I was given the choice to become an angel. I accepted Judgement's offer and started my new life." The contrast in his voice was unusual. He seemed a lot more calm and intellectual when retelling his life's story.
"But things changed when I was adjusted to the lovely conditions of Heaven. The food was luscious, and all the women's curves were even more so. The men were pompous asses an irritating amount of the time, and there was always someone that had something that I didn't, so it'd drive me to get so many things I didn't even need. Life was cush enough that I didn't really have to do anything, but anything I did do, I was pretty damn proud of." That evil look in his eyes had returned as he looked upon the group. "I wasn't even given the chance to go to Earth and buy myself back into Heaven after an insane amount of random acts of kindness. Because I reveled in all of the sins. To such an extent that it left Judgement disgusted. I didn't even have the comforted privilege to be 'cast' down to Hell. Judgement stomped my ass down to create an even deeper circle of Hell with the bottom of her heel, just for me.
"I found myself hating that place. Not because of the 'everlasting torture' or whatever bullshit they've fed you on Earth or the 'diabolical entities' we've been warned of in Heaven. It was because I couldn't do anything I wanted. The food was shit, everyone dressed and acted the same, and it was all because of the rrrruules."
Both Panty and stocking grimaced at the pronunciation of the word.
"Yeah. You know who I'm talking about. And apparently jolly ol' Lucifer isn't the 'Hell raising party demon' I thought he'd be. Turns out the Demon Sisters got their morality crap from him. The whole 'make a deal' thing was true. Though that made sense, seeing how much of a corporate assbag he is. In short, he gave me a ticket to get in and out of Hell whenever I want. In return, I had to find a way for him to get into Heaven. Signing the deal also gave me the eyes of a demon because they allow me to see a being's energy and their weak points. I accepted his terms and went back to Earth.
"It had been over 5,000 years since I had taken a breath of Earth's fresh, lovely air." It seemed like he was reminiscing the thought. "After noting the fact that everything functioned like it did in both Heaven and Hell, I was accustomed to this new Earth relatively quickly. The first thing I set out for was an all you can eat diner, a hotel, and a fine pair of legs. Or three..."
"Damn!" Panty interrupted. "You've got some experience." The look in her eyes hinted that she wanted to go a few rounds with him to get a taste of what getting him surrounded.
Pierce noticed and smirked. "Sorry, hon. Unlike you who fucks the brains out of everything with a Y chromosome, I choose my companions wisely." His eyes darted up and down, examining her. "Besides, you're a little too boney. I like a little cushion when I'm pushin'."
The amount shock and irritation on Panty's face was beyond words. And for how much Stocking and Garderbelt laughed, just goes to show how priceless it was for the others. Except Brief, who shared her offense. "That's a little far, isn't it?" he said.
Pierce glanced at him. He scanned him thoroughly and completely. Like a book. "What offended you? The fact or the opinion?"
"Op- uh... well, both."
Pierce grinned. "Oh. What was that? Opinion? Care to tell me how it felt, then? Wanna prove me wrong?"
"Uh... I- er..." Brief flustered a deep red and started stammering.
"Somebody's embarrassed," he teased.
"Stop teasing the geek, thundercunt!" Stocking snapped. "Are you done gloating about how much of a badass you are yet, or do we have to sit for another five hours?!"
Pierce flinched. He looked at her for a moment. "I..." His eyes turned down a bit and he sighed. "Sure." He sounded sad. Depressed. "I tried, Mother," he said to himself. "And... I fucked up again." He wandered to one of the benches, sat down, and slumped his head into his lap.
A/N: I'm about to destroy him now |:)
...Emotionally.
Feel free to comment and review and maybe make suggestions on where I could take this. I'm just kinda going with it.