Chapter 7: Pride is a weapon against oneself
The day went by slowly for Lumina, the snide remarks spilling from her mouth without stop. She attacked Alyssa with cruel words, like poison. Alyssa wasn't innocent, of course. She's usually do something sly to provoke the words, or she'd come back with something just as snide.
However, Hope only ever seemed to notice when Lumina said something. He'd scold Lumina and tell her off, and Alyssa would play the victem everytime. But Lumina didn't try to defend herseld. She didn't see the point since Hope knew Lumina this way. It wasn't just Hope, but everyone saw Lumina this way. They'd never think twice if someone said Lumina had verbally attacked them. They wouldn't even listen to her side and always assume she was the bad guy. Lumina had accepted this, though. And today only proved it. Even despite becoming close with Hope, he still didn't hesitate to believe Alyssa, who had betrayed Serah, Noel and him once. But Lumina would never betray anyone, she never had. Even in that world, she had never betrayed Lightning. She stuck to her role and took care of Serah soul just like she was tasked with. So why?
It angered her, but there was nothing she could do. She didn't see the point in changing it either. She had decided to be that way. If they wanted to see her that way, despite being close to her, then so be it.
Lumina, Hope and Alyssa were sat in their last lesson for the day. Everyone was chatting and working, including them three. Despite having to scold Lumina a lot of the day, Hope was still in a good mood, involving her in the conversation. However, Lumina had no intentions to play nice.
"So, how long have you two been buddies?" Alyssa asked. "I never really imagine you'd be hanging around with her, Hope."
"Was that meant to sting?" Lumina smirked, inturrupted Alyssa's little giggle. Hope gave a nervous chuckle.
"Yeah, me and Lumina have a lot in common. We've been friends for a while now, too. Really, Alyssa, I know you two will be great friends."
"Oh, you think? Then I hope-"
"Pfft, what are you trying to say, Hope? That I'm on the same low level as her?" Lumina leaned back in her chair, putting no a fake, hurt look. "Ouch, Hope. Ouch."
"Lumina.." Hope sighed.
"Oh, and don't give me that 'Lumina' either." She leaned forward in her seat again. "I think I deserve some credit. I didn't betray anyone and I never intended to. I was never a bad guy."
"Neither was I" Alyssa cut in. "I did what anyone else would do in that situation."
"What situation? You were working beside the director, coming up with new plans to prevent the damage being worse. It was clear and obvious it was unavoidable, yet you were all working to lessen the damage. How is turning your back on all those years of researched that everyone worked so hard for acceptable?" Lumina's smiled dripped with venom, her words sending a chill down Alyssa's back.
"I...I was scared!" Alyssa shook her head, trying to reason her side. "It was getting closer, and I was going to be a part of it all. That man, he told me...we all do things out of fear. I knew Serah and Noel couldn't save us all."
"So you were going to trap them in the void beyond? After all they'd done for you and everything they were risking? Serah's very life was at risk, but she kept going. She knew she'd die, yet she kept fighting without fear. Sure, Caius won in the end, but it didn't change that those two put in every bit of effort and determination into saving everyone rather than run away from their fates like cowards" Lumina giggled "Unlike a certain girl I know"
"Lumina, that's enough." Hope frowned at Lumina, raising his hand in front of her as if to back her off. Lumina's eyes narrowed at Alyssa, who was curled up, trembling in her seat.
"Oh, she's crying? What a surprise." Lumina rolled her eyes. "You can't just cry about it, you know. What good will that do? It just proves how weak and pathetic you are. Lightning had lost her sister, she had lost so much and has always been fighting, yet she never cried or ran away. Serah was like that,too. All of them were, even Hope. So why does that make you any different?"
"LUMINA!" Hope yelled, everyone in the room turning to them. Hope continued to frown at Lumina, his eyes full of hate. Lumina felt a lump in her throat, a sting at her eyes. Why did it hurt to hear him say her name so angrily? To see his eyes looking at her with so much hate? She swallowed the lump, a big smirk forming on her face as she pushed her chair out and stood up.
"I see she's brainwashed you already, Hope. And I thought more of you, too. Shame, really. But oh, well." She sung, grabbing her bag and ingnoring the stares from everyone as they watched her leave.
"Lumina, you can't just leave." The teacher tried, but Lumina twirled around to stop them from wasting their breath.
"I can do whatever I like. That's the great part of being an independent individual that doesn't need others." She smiled bitterly before continuing off.
Hope was in shock, he didn't even realise how cruel his stare was until he turned back to Alyssa and his face relaxed. He suddenly felt a wave of guilt wash over him, but there was nothing he could do now. Lumina was such a hard to read person, he never knew what to do. He had really thought the two of them had become good friends, but there she was, being the same girl he knew he for. But she had been so different, so why was she acting that way again? He was angry..no, it wasn't anger he felt. It was...disappointment. The girl he had become so close with and seen another side to, she had changed with the snap of the fingers.
Hope shook off the unpleasant feelings brewing inside of him and turned to comfort Alyssa some more. The blonde was still trembling in her seat, but Hope managed to calm her down and make her crack a smile eventually. It wasn't long until the teacher came over to talk to them both about what just happened though, and Hope didn't really know how to explain it, either.
Meanwhile, Lumina walked down the halls and made her way to the exit of the building, where she could see dark clouds moving slowly across the sky.
"Great, it's going to rain." She sighed, looking down at her black dress and pump shoes. She certainly wasn't wearing suitable clothing for rain. She was wearing the same dress she had wore while being trapped in that place, except she took off the sleeve, shoulder parts and the long jacket she had wore over it. She kept the long socks and shoes, too (taking off the decoration on the shoes, though). She let out a sigh and began walking home. It was only when she got to the gates that the rain started pouring, but she didn't run or try and get under cover. She continued to walk slowly in the rain like it was nothing, and honestly, it was nothing. It felt nice.
She made her way to the cafe that Vanille and Serah worked at, heading inside, drenched from head to toe.
"Lumina!?" Serah called, noticing her pink haired friend soaking wet. "What are you doing? You could catch a cold!" Serah gently escorted Lumina through the back.
"Sorry, Serah." Lumina mumbled.
"Lumina, you need to remember to take a coat or umbrella in with you" Serah sighed, handing Lumina a towel. "Weren't you heading home with Hope and Alyssa today?"
"I don't recall that." Lumina lied. "Besides, I came to see if...maybe I could work here part-time."
"You want to work here?" Serah turned to her, blinking in shock. "Well, Lumina, I don't really know if my boss will allow a college student working here for only a few days a week."
"Please!? I'll work after college hours, too." She begged, clasping her hands together and backing Serah to the wall. "I just want to earn my own money instead of relying on everyone else and nowhere else will have me."
Serah pursed her lips, looking away from the begging girl. She found it too hard to resist her and not give in, and with a heavy sigh, she rolled her eyes and nodded.
"Alright, Lumina. I'll have a few words with him" Lumina's features lit up and she hugged Serah tightly, jumping up and down.
"Yay! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"Lumina, you're still all wet!" Serah tried prying Lumina from her waist. "You wait here while I go and speak to him." Lumina let go and nodded, sitting in silence while Serah left.
"Hey, boss." Serah smiled, stepping into the room.
"Serah, how can I help?" A middle aged man smiled, sitting in his black chair in a formal suit.
"Well, I have a friend and she's looking for a part-time job to work around her college and I was wondering it-"
"You want me to give this friend a job here, right?" He cut in, a smirk tugging at his lips. "Serah, Serah...I can't just give these jobs to anyone."
"She's my cousin." Serah lied. Well, she wasn't really lying. Lumina really was family, in a way. "And she's really cute. Trust me, she knows how to use her body."
"Oh?" He stood up, walking over. "You better not disappoint me, Serah. Bring her in." Serah nodded, walking out and comging back with Lumina following behind.
"This is Lumina Farron, my cousin." Serah smiled, gesturing to Lumina standing beside her. The man grinned, eyeing the young Farron up and down. "So?" Serah inturrupted.
"Yes, I like her." He nodded, slowly taking his gaze off Lumina's body. "Serah, leave us to discuss some things. I'll take it from here." He smiled, dismissing Serah.
"Alright. I'll see you later, okay?" She nodded towards Lumina, who nodded back before Serah had left.
Now it was just Lumina and this man alone. He walked over to his door and locked it, heading back to his desk and sitting down.
"Please, sit." He smiled. Lumina did as she was told, and sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk before he continued. "So, tell me why I should let you work here, Lumina." A smirked plastered on his face again.
"Because I need it. I'm sick of relying on everyone else for money. I want to make my own money, even if it's only part time." Lumina nodded with determination. "And I think I'm good enough for this job. I'm cute, I know how to play with words and draw people in."
"Oh?" He chuckled, leaning in. "I like that, Lumina. You're honest about it."
"Why wouldn't I be?" She shrugged.
"Tell you what." The man leaned back in his chair. "I'll give you the job, work out the times...but why don't you show me how good you are first." The smug grin grew wider as he eyed Lumina from across his desk, her small frame and clothnig still a little wet from the rain. "Don't be shy, Lumina. We don't have time for shyness in this business. If you really want this job, the show me, prove it."
"I don't understand.."
"Do you not? Then let me come and show you a little bit of what I'm getting at." He stood up, walking over to her and leaning over her. She leaned back in the chair, her eyes looking up at his sleezy face. His brown hair hung down from his face, hazel eyes hungrily gazing into hers. "Lumina, have you ever had a man touch you?" He asked, running his hand along her pale arm.
"Of course..I live with a lot of boys, so-"
"No, Lumina. I don't mean like that. Are you really that innocent?" He chuckled. "But don't worry, that's how I like it" His hand slid onto her thiegh, stroking it gently. "But Lumina, what I mean, is have you ever had a man touch you in a pleasing way? Have you ever been pleased and touched in places someone wouldn't normally touch you?"
"I-I don't like this." Lumina protested, looking down at his hand as it slid under her dress.
"If you want this job so badly, then you'll stop resisting me, Lumina. This is the price you'll have to pay."
-Time passes-
"Alright, Lumina. You'll start tomorrow." Her new boss smiled. "I had fun. Now hurry up. Get your uniform from Serah and go home. And remember, this is our little secret. If anyone knows, you can kiss this job goodbye." His threat only made it more obvious to Lumina that it was bad. She pulled her body up, put her clothes back on and left, but when she tried to walk, her legs felt weak. Like there as no energy in them at all. She managed to gather herself up though and make her way out, leaving the man in his office.
"Hey, Lumina. You were in there for a while" Serah smiled. "You get the job?" Lumina's lip quivered as she thought about what had happened, but she pulled it into a smirk, nodding at her friend.
"Yep, I start tomorrow." Her voice shook.
"Are you okay, Lumi?"
"Yeah, I think I might be coming down with a cold from walking in the rain." She lied, shaking off the shake in her voice. "Anyway, he said you had my uniform."
"Yeah, right here." Serah smiled, handing it to her in a bag. "I still have another hour of work, so I'll see you later, okay?"
"Okay, thanks, Serah." Lumina nodded, taking the bag and leaving.
But as if Lumina's luck couldn't get bad enough, she ran into Alyssa and Hope as she exited the cafe. They were walking beside each other, Hope holding an umbrella over them both. She couldn't even pretend she hand't noticed them because they noticed her, too.
"Hey, Lumina.." Hope said awkwardly. "You haven't been home yet?"
"No, I was applying for a job at this cafe."
"Really? That's cool."
"And that's good for business?" Alyssa started "They'll lose customers." Lumina shot Alyssa a death glare, ready to throw her a poisonous retort when-
"Alyssa, shut up." Hope frowned. It cought both girls by shock, but Hope ignored it and continued. "Listen, if you want to join us for some food, you're welcome."
"No thanks. I don't think I'm welcome and I want to go home" Lumina shot Hope down, refusing his offer completely. Normally she would've accepted to piss Alyssa off, but this time, she didn't want to or ever care about getting one over Alyssa.
"Oh..well..do you want to use this umbrella? It looks like it's going to start raining again and-"
"It's a little late for that now. I've already been cought in the rain, so an umbrella will do me little good now." She said simply. "Anyway, have fun." Lumina didn't even look at Hope, she just left. She didn't know why she acted that way, but she couldn't be any other way. It was just on impulse.
"Come on, Hope." Alyssa smiled, pulling Hope along. Of course she'd enjoy this. This was her victory to 'win' Hope. Or so she thought, or maybe she was right.
It didn't matter to Lumina right now. Inside, she was a mess, but her face remained still and unmoving. She felt like there was not only a wall between her and Hope, the one person she had felt close to, but she had just had unthinkable things happen to her. This world, it was disgusting. These feelings, she didn't want to feel them, yet she continued to lie through her teeth. She's continue to play the role she was created for. She didn't want anyone to be close to her anymore. She didn't want anyone to see the real her, who she really was.
The rain began to pour down again and cought Lumina, soaking her all over again. She hugged the bag with her uniform in close to her chest to shelter it as much as she could, slowly making her way home. In all honesty, she didn't want to go 'home' Could she even call it that now? Was it even her home to begin with? They all welcomed her, but she knew what they all really thought of her. It stung at her eyes to think about, and this time, she let herself cry. She didn't see any harm. This was a lonely road to walk, and the rain was pouring down enough to hide it.
Her body was getting colder, and to make matters worse, it was still very sore. She felt like her body was about to fail her, unable to go on anymore. But she didn't seem to care right now. She continued to walk, but only to push her body. She didn't care if her body fell to the cold, wet floor. She didn't care if she continued to lay there until dark. She didn't care if...if no one came to look for her...
Sniff, sniff.
"The tears began to fall again, drenching her face. Her eyes were red with tears at this point. This day, it was the worste day in her short life. She didn't want to endure it any longer, and maybe they really wouldn't care if she left.
BEEP, BEEP!
"LUMINA!?" A familiar voice called out, shocking her. She turned around, her vision still blurry from the tears. She could make out curly, brown hair a coat being held over his head before "Lumina!" Firm hands grabbed either side of her shoulders. "Lumina what are you doing out here in the rain!?" He yelled. Her vision cleared and Johannes face became clear to see. She stared up at him, wondering why he had arrived or even stopped for her. "You're soaking! You could get really sick like this! Damn it, Lumina! Didn't you think to take an umbrella! You've been gone for ages, too! You've had me and Lightning worried sick!" Worried sick...him and Lightning. Her eyes began to tear up again and she fell into Johannes arms, crying with no end.
It shocked him, why was she crying? But he didn't yell at her anymore and simply hugged her. "Lumina, lets get out of the rain, okay?" He escorted her to his car, sitting her in the passenger seat before getting into the drivers seat, himself. He gave her his coat to wrap around herself to warm her up even a little and blasted the heating in the car.
"Lumina, are you okay now?" He asked softly, reaching out and gently resting his hand on her knee, but she flinched and pulled her leg away. "Hmm?"
"I-I'm fine." She replied, staring out of the front window with a vacant stare.
"I...can't force you to tell me anything, can I? But Lumina, you can't-"
"I stopped off to get a job and got it, but then I got caught in the downpour. I got upset because I didn't have a coat or umbrella and I was so cold that I thought I was going to die. Then you showed up and I was really happy." She lied.
"Oh, well...then congrats on the job, Lumi" He chuckled, starting the car and driving. "So? Where's it at?"
"Same place as Serah and Vanille, except I have part-time."
"Oh, great. Did you see Serah?"
"Yeah."
"How is she?"
"She seems good." Lumina paused. "Johannes?"
"Yes?"
"Do you like Serah?" Johannes coughed, glancing from the road to Lumina in shock.
"M-me? Like Serah? Haha, no. She's with that Snow fella, anyway. I don't wanna mess with him." He blushed.
"So because of Snow, you're not going to try? You're letting another man stop you?" There was a moment of silence before Johannes spoke up again.
"Lumina...I've told you all about my past. I don't know if I'm ready to get into anything with anyone. I don't think I ever will be ready." A weak smile formed on Johannes face and he let out a small chuckle. "What about you, Lumi? Anyone who has your heart?"
"Me? No, I don't think I'd ready for that, either." Lumina slumped in her seat a little, snuggling into Johannes's coat some more. "Besides, I'm just like you." And with that, Lumina closed her eyes, drifting into a deep sleep. She was so tired, so, so just wanted to forget all the things that happened today.
"He's not picking up" Lightning paced back and forth in the front room, biting her nails.
"Sis, please stop doing that. You're making everyone anxious." Serah tried to get Lightning to sit down, but Lightning ignored her. It had been half an hour since Johannes went looking for Lumina, and in that time, Serah, Vanille and Hope had come home, so Lumina had taken even longer for them to get home, which was another hour after she left the cafe.
"I'm sure they'll be back soon." Vanille smiled nervously, feeling doubtful of her own words. Hope was worried too, sitting onthe sofa with his head in his hands, his thoughts racing. He kept thinking about Lumina being missing and that anything could happen to her. He kept thinking about how she was when he saw her last, how short she was with him and how vacant her eyes looked. He was worried the worse had happened. He was worried that it was his fault, too. He didn't want Lumina to be gone, he cared for her too much.
Just then, a car pulled up in the driveway and Lightning ran outside to see it was Johannes. He walked over to the passanger's side and pulled Lumina out, carrying her in his arms.
"What happened? Is she okay?" Lightnign shot questions at him.
"Relax" Johannes hushed as she stepped in, getting out of the rain. "She's fine, I found her walking along the sidewalk on the countrylane, so no wonder she took so long to get home."
"The countrylane? What was she doing walking along there?" Serah ran over, looking at Lumina with concern as Johannes placed her down on the sofa.
"Mmm." Lumina shifted, her eyes peeling open to see everyone looking at her. "What..?"
"What do you mean 'what'? We were all worried sick, you little demon." Lightning scowled, her arms folded.
"You have a lot of explaining to do, missy!" Vanille joined in. Lumina continued to look around, a little confused. Were they all really that worried?
"It's alright, everyone. I've spoken to her already. She just got cought in the rain and got a bit lost. Lucky I came when I did, huh?" He winked at Lumina.
"Right. Just don't do it again." Lightning sighed, turning away and rubbing the bridge of her nose.
"You were all worried about me? Even Lightning?" Lumina stood up.
"Yeah, we're family, Lumina." Serah smiled. "Now lets get you in the shower and into some warm clothes, okay?" Serah pulled Lumina along upstairs, leaving the rest to finally relax.
"Well, that's enough excitement for me." Vanille sighed, fallng back into the chair. "Ahhhhh"
"I'm just glad she's safe." Hope spoke up. While the young boy looked relieved, he was still concerned for her. He wanted to know what was going on through her head. He wanted to know where he stood with her.
It had been two weeks since then and Lumina had slipped into her new part-time job nicely. She was still carrying the burden of what happened with her boss, and she had grown to hate that man with every bone in her body. She had even researched it and learned about what he did and the more she found out, the worse she felt. But it was Lumina, so she used all those negative feelings to fuel her cruel side. She had become to mischievious little demon everyone knew her for once again. However, she was a little different for Johannes. She would never say anything to get at him, and everyone had noticed this. Even Hope noticed it and assumed Lumina was in love with him.
It was when he came to that conclusion that he decided to ask Alyssa to be his girlfriend. He felt so betrayed by Lumina, and he didn't know why. He knew they were just friends, he knew it. But when he thought about how distant she had become, when he thought she might be in love with Johannes, it made him angry. So he turned to Alyssa to take his mind off of Lumina. They'd been to the cafe she worked at a lot, too, and Lumina couldn't avoid them. It set off a bitter feeling inside of her, a cruel feeling. She felt betrayed by Hope, just as he felt betrayed by her. They had drifted appart, yet they both wanted to be close again.
It was them drifting appart in the first place that caused Lumina to hide away in her shell, creating this persona. She didn't blame Hope, but she was well aware that all these things happened in a string of unfortunate events that happened after they drifted.
In that time though, Lumina had also found out some juicy things about her friends. One day after work, Vanille asked Lumina if on her way home, she could take something to Fang for a snack. But what Lumina saw was too interesting. Fang still has no idea that Lumina saw the whole thing with her little 'friend' but Lumina was waiting for the right moment to bring it up. At this point, she had convinced herself that she didn't care about Hope and Alyssa anymore. She had also convinced herself she hated men, and why wouldn't she after what her boss did to her? He hadn't tried it since, but she was still cautious of the man, always making sure her work was flawless. She didn't want any man touching her, she'd flinch away. Even Johannes couldn't touch her, but unlike the other's Johannes noticed and understood that something was very wrong. However, he kept quiet for now. He was aware that Lumina was different for him, he knew she trusted him. He didn't want to do anything to push her away.
The trip to the spa was also coming closer and closer and everyone was excited. Something so simple was so important to them, but it made them wonder, is this what it feels like to be alive?
AN: woow, dark chapter, right? Sorry updates have taken so long, but they'll take their time to get up since I have a lot of work to do with college and all. But don't worry, more characters are coming very soon and I know I've favoured Lumina a lot lately, but I think she's the most interesting and fun to work with when dealing with the real world since she's quite a complex character as it is. But yes, don't worry. All the wrongs can make a right.