A/N To the guest reviewer for the last chapter: Since you weren't signed in, I couldn't message you, but I wanted to say how much your review meant to me. It was probably the best one I have ever had and I am grateful you took the time to write it. I am glad you enjoy my story.
Dixie turned her phone to silent and finished getting dressed. She changed into her black leggings and Colby's Glmr Klls shirt that he had on the day before, figuring he wouldn't mind. She liked wearing his shirts when they smelled like him. She went back downstairs and Colby had stretched out on the couch. He perked up when he saw she was wearing his shirt and he smiled brightly at her. He saw her blush so he didn't mention it, but inside he was about to burst. He saw that he was slowly but surely pushing Jon out of her heart and it wouldn't be long until he was completely gone. He chuckled to himself 'I bet she doesn't wear his raggedy shirts.'
"Hey babe, after the pies are done, all I have left to do is heat up the rolls and we can eat. I know you must be hungry."
"Yeah, I am. Colby, really, you have gone above and beyond, doing all this by yourself."
"I told you, I wanted to. Now why don't you sit down and we can talk, alright?"
"I can't."
"Why can't you?" he looked up at her confused.
"Well, you are currently taking up all the room on the sofa Mr. Lopez," she answered with a laugh.
He smiled, "Oh, that!" He sat up and let her take a seat at the end of the couch. He had an idea and decided to go for it since she seemed more open to being affectionate with him. He leaned to his side and laid his head on her lap and propped his feet back up on the couch. She was surprised but didn't tell him to move. He smiled happily up at her and she had to smile back. She stroked the side of his head, smoothing his wild hair down. She was thinking of how nice it felt to be close to him, things feeling like they used to. She knew they had to have a serious talk that night and she wasn't looking forward to it; she still wasn't sure what she was going to do. At that moment, she just wanted to enjoy how he made her feel.
He lay there a few minutes before he told her they needed to finish everything up and set the table. When the pies were done, she put the rolls in the oven and Colby sliced the turkey breast he had cooked earlier. He had made mashed potatoes and green beans along with candied yams and gravy, laughing that he had to use the packaged gravy because he couldn't make the real stuff. He also used boxed stuffing and Dixie laughed. "It looks and smells great, Colby. Thank you." She poured them a glass of wine and when the rolls were done, they sat at the table and started to eat. She bragged on the food and Colby felt proud that she approved. It had been a long time since he cooked for her and he wanted to show her that he appreciated what she did to take care of him. He didn't want her to feel taken for granted anymore. He had a lot of time to himself to think since she had left him, and he had realized so much of what Jon said about how he treated her was true.
After dinner, Dixie cut the pies and they both had a small piece of each. They put things away and Dixie started to load the dishwasher, but Colby wouldn't let her. "No, I can do it. I want to do it." She cocked her head at him, a little shocked that he was trying as hard as he was. "Go have a seat, mama. I will be done in just a minute." She nodded and took a glass of wine with her to the living room. A few minutes later, Colby joined her. He gathered up the presents and put them on the coffee table. He took the stockings down and laid them on the floor. He sat down and picked up one of the boxes, handing it to her. "Go ahead and open it."
She smiled, "Okay, you open this one first then." They opened the rest of their presents, saving the best ones for last. She handed him a very large box and shyly spoke. "Colby, I know things are different now, but I wanted to do this for you. I hope you like it."
He tore into the box, and his face lit up as he pulled the tissue paper back and saw what she got him. He took out the 11x14 frame and saw it was a black and white boudoir picture of her. She was in his favorite black bra and panties, lying on a divan, with her hair curled and flowing around her face. She had one leg bent and the other stretched over the arm of the divan. She was wearing the pearl necklace he gave her their first Christmas together and in her hand was her locket, opened and showing her favorite two pictures of him. She saw him looking at the photo and swore she saw tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "Do you like it?"
"Baby, I love it. God you are so beautiful. This is stunning, really. Thank you." He turned to face her and his heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest. He was so angry with himself for ever giving her the chance to walk out. He couldn't believe she would do something so romantic for him while he had gotten her a Keurig and other things he could have bought her any day. "Dixie…"
She could see the conflicted look on his face and began to doubt if she should have given it to him. "Colby, it's okay. I want you to have it, but if it makes you uncomfortable, I am sorry. I didn't mean to."
"It doesn't. It doesn't. This may be the best gift you have ever bought me, but I was too stupid to realize the gift you gave me every day of your love and devotion was much more precious. I am so sorry, mama. For everything. I should have…"
"No, don't. Not right now, Colby. Please don't." She wiped the tear from his cheek, not wanting to ruin their moment by talking about everything that was wrong. She wanted just a little while longer to pretend things weren't as messed up as they were.
"Okay." He brushed her hair back and softly pecked her lips. She tensed up, but relaxed and kissed him back.
"I am glad you like it."
"Of course I do. How did I ever make a woman as beautiful as you love me?" he asked her with a smile.
"Oh please! You are a gorgeous hunk, Colby. You could have any woman, especially now."
"I don't want just any woman. I want you."
"Col…"
"I know, alright. But look, the big present I bought you, you have already seen."
She arched her eyebrow, figuring he was talking about the ring. He moved the paper off the coffee table and picked the ring box up. "This is what I wanted to give you. I wanted to get down on one knee, and tell you how much I love you and what you mean to me. I wanted to tell you how I could see us with kids running around and us growing old together. I wanted to tell you how I have wanted to make you my wife for so long, but I was scared. I wanted to tell you that I was thankful every day for your support and I never wanted to go a day without you in my life. I know you don't want to talk about this right now but you need to hear this. I shouldn't have made you wait to hear those words, Dixie. I know that. I will regret that for the rest of my days. I took for granted that you took care of me, and I guess I forgot I should have been taking care of you too and giving you what you needed. But the way I feel hasn't changed. I still love you and I still want to marry you. I want to make you Mrs. Colby Lopez and never disappoint you again. I will never let you doubt that I love you, want you, desire you or appreciate you again. I will show you every day. You still have my heart and the time I spent without you was the worst of my life. I know I can't get you to agree to it right now, so I won't ask, but I am not giving up on us. Not now, not ever. I know you love me too and I can wait for you to say yes. I will always be yours."
She was starting to cry now, the words she longed to hear finally coming from him. "I will ask you this though. Will you put the ring on? I want to see how it looks. When I saw it, I thought it was very 'you' and I knew it was the right one: the one I wanted to see on your hand for the rest of our lives." He took the ring out of the box and held it between his fingers. He looked into her eyes and pleaded with her. "Please?"
She couldn't manage to speak but she also couldn't tell him no. She loved the ring and no way could she deny she liked having it on her hand. "I know this doesn't mean you are accepting, Dix; I just want you to wear it for me." She took the ring Jon bought her off and put it on her right hand and gave Colby her left. He smiled sweetly at her and slipped it on her finger. She stared down at it and it looked at beautiful to her as it did the first time she tried it on.
"It is so pretty, Colby," she said when she finally got control over her voice again.
"It looks perfect there on your hand." He kissed her knuckles and was stunned when she lunged at him, wrapping her arms around him. He wasn't quite expecting that, but he liked it. He knew she was struggling with her feelings for him and Jon, but he didn't think there was any way Jon could compete with their history together. He felt her shaking as she cried and he soothed her, rubbing her back. He could barely hear her blubbering into his shirt. "I am sorry, baby. So sorry. Why didn't you do this before? Why?" She sobbed with her face buried in his chest, so many emotions filling her head.
"Please don't cry. I didn't give it to you to make you cry, mama." He finally got her to calm down and handed her a Kleenex to wipe her eyes.
"I am sorry for that. I shouldn't have broken down like that."
"It's okay, believe me. Do you want me to put it up? I don't want to upset you anymore."
"NO! I mean, no, you don't have to. Can I wear it just a little while? Will that bother you?"
He grinned, "of course you can. It won't bother me at all." When he asked her to put it on, he never thought she would react like that. He scored it as a victory in his head, hoping by some miracle that by her wanting to wear it, he had defeated her so-called love for Jon. He leaned over and kissed her temple, then picked up her stocking. "Don't forget about this," he said with a smile.
She lightly smiled back and started pulling things out. He picked up his as well and laughed when he saw some of the things she had put in there. He told her he loved the digital photo keychain she bought him and she clapped when she saw he bought her cordial cherries. He chuckled, "I know they are your favorite."
"Yes! I love them! In fact, I think I really need one right now." She scooted back on the couch and opened the box. She peeled back the plastic and took one out. She bit into one and the syrup from it dripped down her chin and all over her hand before she could pop the rest of it in her mouth. She giggled, "Shit! I am making a helluva mess!"
Colby took her hand and licked her fingers before sucking them into his mouth, cleaning the sticky syrup from them. She groaned when she felt his tongue lapping at her digits, and she slowly was becoming turned on by the scorching look he was giving her. He pulled her fingers from his mouth and kissed her wrist, knowing how sensual a spot that was for her. He felt her hand on the nape of his neck and softly kissed up her arm. He could see a fire building in her eyes, knowing that he hadn't lost his touch on her. He stopped and kissed her inner elbow, hearing a quiet moan from her. He moved closer to her and licked her chin before capturing her lips in his. Much to his surprise, she didn't push him away. She tangled his shirt in her fingers and pulled him closer.
He thrust his tongue into her mouth and felt her releasing his hair from rubber band. He slipped his hand under his shirt and groped her breasts, plucking her nipples between his fingers. She gasped into his mouth and he smirked against her lips. He knew how much she loved having her nipples played with, so he kept going. He felt her writhing beneath him and loved how aroused he was making her. She gripped his bicep, knowing she needed to make him stop but part of her didn't want him to. He was showing her another side to him and she was greatly enjoying it. He decided to give her what she craved from him, wanting to make it all about her.
Colby eased his hand into her bottoms and moved her panties aside so he could rub her clit. She moaned loudly as he swiftly shoved his middle finger palm deep into her pussy. He was abusing her lips, nipping at the plump flesh while he rapidly pumped his finger in and out of her. He moved away from her mouth to suck on her neck, spurred on by the panting she was doing. She slid down on the couch, opening her legs wider for him to have better access. She could honestly say he had never pleasured her like this and she was savoring every minute. She moaned his name over and over; her walls starting to tighten and her belly tense up. He brushed his thumb over her clit and she came undone, reaching her climax. She felt the warm tingle spread throughout her body as she came down, melting into the cushion. "Oh, Colby, damn!"
He kissed her gently, her lips now swollen and her face flushed. "I am happy you enjoyed that, mama."
"I did. You have never done that before."
"There are a lot of things I haven't done before, but I will. Anything you want."
She had to admit that intrigued her. "Anything?"
"Anything. I told you, I am yours." He leaned in to kiss her again and they heard a knock at the door. They both groaned. "Damn. Just ignore it, maybe whoever it is will go away."
"Okay, no. Both of our cars are home and the lights are on. We can't ignore it. Get a hold of yourself and I will answer it." He sighed and sat back on the sofa, readjusting his aching manhood, cursing whoever it was at their door.
Dixie opened the door and was speechless when she saw it was Jon. "Hey, Dix. Look I know you said you would call me later, but I had to see you. I miss you and I hate you being mad at me."
He heard Colby's voice, "who is it?"
She felt like she was stuck between a rock and a hard place now. "Um, it's Jon."
Colby shot up and stood right behind her, glaring at his ex-friend. "What the fuck are you doing here, man?"
"I came to see my girlfriend. Back off, cocksucker."
"Don't tell me to back off. This is my fucking house and she isn't your girlfriend." Colby put his arm around her waist and went to pull her back in the house. She brought her hand up to move his arm off of her and Jon saw the ring.
"What the fuck is that?!" he screamed, pointing at her hand. She stared horrified at Colby's engagement ring still on her hand. "Dixie, goddammit tell me what the fuck is going on!"
"Oh, damn it! I forgot to take it off." She slid the ring off and handed it to Colby.
"YOU FORGOT?! What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You forgot you weren't going to tell me you are engaged to Colby?"
"What!? No, I am not engaged to Colby!"
"She will be soon enough though, asshole. She loves me. She only thinks she loves you," Colby smirked.
"Colby, shut up! Look, it's a long story, but I just tried it on, Jon. That's it."
"Why the fuck would you even want to?!" Jon was angry and felt tears stinging his eyes. "You don't love me, do you? You are going back to him, just like I said, aren't you?"
"No she doesn't and yes, she is" Colby said with an evil smile.
"No, I'm not. Colby SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Colby pushed her aside and stood chest to chest with Jon. "You think she could ever love you like she does me, huh? You are a pathetic loser. You always have been, always will be. Just white trash. What could you ever offer her? Sex? I can give her everything she wants in the bedroom too. In fact, I would be giving her what she wants right now, if you weren't interrupting. I am the one that has her heart, Jonathan, not you. Never you."
"Stop it, Colby!" Dixie yelled.
"No no, he needs to hear it. My fucking best friend. I can see how I fucked up and drove her away, but I will never understand why my best friend betrayed me. He knew how much I loved you but he decided to try to take you from me anyway. You are really good with words Jon, but you won't fool her forever. He wanted to gloat that he took you from me. So you know what, it's time for me to do some gloating of my own. Does she rub you down after a match and kiss every inch of your body? She does me. Does she leave you little love notes in your suitcase or your bags? She does mine. Does she tell you she loves you, even in her sleep? She does me. You don't love her, Jon. You don't know enough about her to say you love her more than I do. Do you know her favorite flower? Daisies. Her favorite song? Bridge Over Troubled Water. Favorite color? Purple. Do you know why elephants are her favorite animal? Do you know why she is scared of the water? Or why she is scared of storms? No. You don't know any of that. Has she ever cried when she saw you hurt and had to bandage you up? My guess is no. You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell with her. I fucked up once, but it won't happen again and I damn sure won't lose her to a useless street hood like you!"
Dixie saw the hurt in Jon's eyes and it broke her heart. She had never heard Colby be so vicious to anyone as long as she had known him. "Colby, that is enough!" She pushed between them and shoved Colby back. "Just go in the fucking house!"
"Fine. I will since you asked me. Your ass is mine the next time I get you alone, Jon."
"Yeah I look forward to it, motherfucker."
Colby went into the house and shut the door, feeling vindicated now that he got some things off of his chest. He said more than he wanted about Dixie but he was angry and it started spilling out. He hated to admit it, but he did understand how he must have made her feel. He wasn't over being upset with her, but he would never forgive Jon.
"Jon, baby, I am sorry he said all that to you."
He stared at her with glassy blue eyes. "Was he telling the truth? Do you not really love me? Will I ever make you happy like he did?"
"You do make me happy, baby. Except when your doubt gets the better of you and you take it out on me. Yes, I do love you. I am sorry you saw that I had that ring on."
"Why did you have the fucking thing on anyway?"
"It was after we opened presents. Colby asked me to. I won't lie to you, I liked having it on, but it doesn't mean I am going back to him or going to marry him, Jon."
"I don't even fucking know how to feel right now. Would you have been fucking him if I hadn't come over?"
"No, of course not." She knew she should tell him about what happened, but she was afraid it would make it worse. The defeated look on his face was killing her and she wasn't sure he could handle her telling him that right then. "Look, he is leaving tomorrow and I will move my stuff in the guest room while he is gone. I don't want you worrying anymore."
"Quit your job. Come on the road with me. I don't want to be without you. Dixie, I do love you. More than I have ever loved anyone. I can deal with everyone else hating me as long as I am not alone; as long as I have you. I am whatever you want me to be. Something he has never done for you. You want sweet and romantic, I give it to you. You want dominating and forceful, I give you that. You just want me for sex, I gave you sex. You need me next to you, there I am. You need space, I give you that too. You are my life now, Dixie. I can't handle losing you again. It nearly killed me when you walked away from me before. Please don't do it again. I don't need friends and family, I just need you. You are my world, my everything. Colby can't say that either. He has other important people in his life, you are it for me. You are the center of my fucking universe. He can find someone else, someone that is his match. You know you aren't. You are my match. You told me so. I will never love anyone else, Dixie. You know I won't. I could never let anyone else in the way I have you. I didn't want to ever feel this way but you stole my heart. Please don't leave me and break it. When you thought I was asleep, I heard everything you said. You said you would never let anyone hurt me, you would protect me and be my shield. Tell me how I can make this easier for you and I will. I would die for you, kill for you. All I am asking is for is all of your heart. Don't hurt me again, please. You promised."
His heartfelt words rocked her to the core. She had never seen him cry before and it was more than she could stand. She threw her arms around him and held him tightly, cupping his head against her chest. "I love you too, baby and you are right. I did say that and you are my match. I know your heart is fragile and I don't want to cause you pain. But, I can't just up and quit my job though. I do love you, Jon and I don't want to hurt you but I can't make promises anymore. You know I can't just turn off my feelings all at once and erase Colby from my memory. I do still love him too and part of me always will. I won't tell you that I don't have my doubts but you need to give me a break too and understand where I am coming from."
"I do, Dixie. I just don't like it. I hate that he knows those things that I don't and that he will always have part of you. I know that is selfish, but I can't fucking help it."
"I have some soul searching to do and I can't do it when I am being jerked around between you two like a yo-yo. Please don't get upset with me, but I just need some time to work through what I am feeling. I have hurt you and Colby enough with my indecisiveness and I don't want to do that anymore. Please understand. If we are ever going to work, you have to give me that. You asked me how you could make this easier. That is what you can do. Stop treating me like the prize in your tug of war with Colby." She didn't want to say that she needed time to decide whom she really wanted, seeing that being honest with him hadn't worked so well so far. He was too insecure at times to see both sides.
He sighed, "Okay. I will try. I will give you time like you asked. As long as I know that you haven't decided to go back to Colby and you love me as much as I love you, I can weather this storm. You are worth it to me."
"You are worth it to me too or I wouldn't be putting myself through all of this, baby." She did think he was worth it but she didn't know if she could ever let go of what she had with Colby. She was tempted to run away to a deserted island for a while and sort out her feelings but she realized she made her own life complicated; now she had no choice but to deal with the consequences. In the end, one man she loves will end up heartbroken and she will have to live with her choice.