An insight into Nick's past.
And a picnic.
Hope you like it :))

Oh, and there's no smut in this one, ^^.

###############

Nick woke with warm heaviness on his chest; Belle's head snugly pillowed there, her soft hair tickling his skin. He reached for a few stray strands, brushing it away from her lovely face, and he smiled fondly. The remembrance of their previous night's activities warmed his heart, as he realized that for the first time he could say that he made love to someone.

Of course, he had a sex before, but those experiences with his ex-wife or with Cora were definitely not lovemaking, only a mere action of satisfying the primitive needs of body. Yesterday however, with Belle, he felt what he never did before. A special sort of connection, not between their bodies only, but most of all - between their souls. He had never hoped to experience that, never thought that someone will care for him enough or he for someone… He did really care for Belle though.

He loved her.

No matter how much through all this years he promised himself to never love again, this little clever creature had stolen his heart completely.

And he didn't mind, really.

But what were her feelings? Not knowing was tormenting him, but he wouldn't ask her, the coward he was. If she was ready to tell him, then she will. If not and she decides that it's better to end the fragile balance they were experiencing… well, he wouldn't blame her, but it would tear his heart into shreds, that was for sure.

But he shouldn't think about it. She was in his arms now and didn't have enough of him yet, and that was good for now. It was more than he could have ever hoped for.

He looked at her ivory body curled up next to his, and ran a lazy hand through her back. She made a little groaning sound, stretched thoroughly and then a pair of blue bleary eyes were staring into his, and, for the sake of the world, he could not look away. "Good morning, sweetheart"

"Mmm… Morning…" she crooned, leaning in to give him a sweet kiss on the lips, and then tucked her head under his chin, her mouth pressing against his throat, muffling her yawn.

He hugged her tightly, one hand still rubbing her back, second combing through her soft, ruffled hair. "How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, worry creeping into his voice.

"A tiny bit sore… but otherwise absolutely wonderful" She gave his throat a delicate kiss and slid her head down to rest it at his chest, her fingers playing with a little path of hair at his abdomen.

They didn't stay in bed for long, she taking a quick shower and him making them both breakfast. They ate it pretty quickly and then they kissed for long minutes in the hallway, before he finally let her go. Only when her figure faded away in the distance, he took a shower himself and started to prepare for work. His mind wandered to Belle instantly, distracting him from what he was currently doing. Which, for the first time in his entire life, he almost left without putting on a tie, fortunately reminding himself about it just when he was about to get into the car.

At the shop he still wasn't able to put the thoughts away and it really annoyed him, because he couldn't focus on work. Finally, he gave up and put the ledger aside, walking to the backroom and sitting at the desk, pouring himself a cup of coffee. Sipping it slowly, he let his mind wander freely to his precious girl.

He just couldn't get her out of his head. He felt like a schoolboy with his first big crush. He kept thinking about her lovely smiles, and those beautiful inscrutable blue eyes, the feel of her soft skin under his fingers and mouth… her little moans and cries of pleasure… the incredible feeling when he was inside of her… her so inviting lips kissing his own, and kissing all over him…

He felt himself hardening at the recollection of their intimate activities, and let out a heavy sigh.

He really had to get back to work and focus at it.

With some internal exertion he put the cup aside and reached for the toolbox. He placed the old broken clock at the worktable and started to fix it. Or at least he tried to. His mind was still far away, his eyes not really seeing what was before them, and his hands moved at their own trained accord.

He didn't really bother with directing his mind fully at the task… until he pricked himself in the finger, a loud curse following. He glared at the damned clock, and if the thing was alive, it surely would have died under his murderous look.

He sucked off the few drops of blood from his finger and sat back on the worktable, this time managing to keep all his attention at the work and stop thinking about Belle.

For a moment at least.

: : . . . : :

The bell jingled and he cursed under breath. "Coming!" he shouted and put aside the tools, placing them on the wooden surface heavier than necessary.

Taking a hold of his gold cane he made a slow way towards the front of the shop.

There were only fifteen minutes to the closing time, and he hated last minute clients. He wanted to be finished for today, so he could see Belle. He hadn't seen her since morning… and he thought about her almost the entire time, no matter how hard he tried not to.

At one moment, when he managed absolutely no progress with the clock, he decided that he would call her, hoping that hearing her voice will put his mind at ease and let him finally focus on work. He had even already dialed her number, but ultimately he resigned from the idea, as sudden fear bathed him.

He was afraid it could upset her, if he imposed his presence on her so much. She needed time for herself too, away from his person and his voice. Or at least it was what his experience was telling him. On the other hand, relying on the experience from his relationship with Milah wasn't a very smart thing to do. She hated him, that's why she needed space. And Belle… Well, he didn't know if she loved him, but for sure she didn't hate him. He shook his head. It was not the time, nor the place to think about it. He had a damn customer to deal with.

He stepped behind the curtain separating the back of his shop from the front, and immediately stopped mid-step. "Belle…"

She was crouching before the cupboard, carefully surveying some old books he kept there, and as she heard his voice, she quickly straightened and turned into his direction, her face radiant.

Before he could say or do anything, she basically launched herself at him, arms winding around his neck and lips crushing against his, her persistent body almost kicking him off balance.

He wrapped his free hand around her waist, drawing her closer, as she deepened the kiss and gently sucked at his tongue. He groaned low in his throat, as his body started to respond, and with a heavy heart he broke their contact. It was not the place for this. He nuzzled her neck, breathing in her wonderful scent, before stepping back.

Something caught his eye then, and he lifted his head at the side. There was a picnic basket at the counter. He narrowed his eyes at it, eyeing it suspiciously, before shifting his gaze back to Belle. "What is that?"

She smiled gaily, "I thought we could go to the outskirts and have a picnic. It's the perfect weather for it…"

He eyed the basket again. A picnic? He really never had one, nor particularly wanted to…

But those huge blue eyes were staring at him with joy and hope, and actually, why not?

"I think it's a good idea, yes…" he returned her smile, trying not to show his nerves. What do people even do at picnics, except for the obvious eating? Should he bring something? He suspected that she already had plenty of food in that basket of hers, but what else was needed for a picnic?

"Really? That's great!" He shifted his attention back to her, as she beamed and threw herself at him again, kissing him softly at the lips. She pulled away after a while and looked around. "Do you have a blanket? I couldn't find any big enough in my apartment".

A blanket? Yes, he had a blanket… likely… Somewhere… "Yes, just wait a moment". It took him longer than a moment, but he finally emerged from the backroom, with a brown woolly blanket neatly folded in his hand.

They packed everything in the trunk of his black Cadillac, and she waited for him at the passenger side as he went to lock the shop.

: : . . . : :

They drove to the outskirts of Storybrooke, stopping at a small clearing.

He held the basket and watched as Belle picked the most flat ground, just next to an old oak tree, and arranged the blanket there. She took the basket from him, setting it on the ground, and sat down herself, stretching out her hand for him. He humbly took it, lowering himself carefully, his leg protesting momentarily at the action. He made a little grunting noise when he finally sat down and straightened the damn thing, pain dispersing.

He could see a concern in Belle's eyes as she looked at him, but she chose to not say anything, instead reaching inside the basket and taking out a thermos with a tea, he presumed, two plastic cups, a small container with fruits and two foiled sandwiches. Again she arranged everything, absorbed with it completely, while he watched her with a stunned expression.

Finally she looked up at him again, and he immediately erased the bewildered look from his face, replacing it with a gentle smile. She returned it, and offered him a sandwich and one of the cups, now filled with amber liquid.

They ate and drank in silence, enjoying the fresh warm air and listening to the chirping of birds. He could now understand why she wanted to have a picnic, and truly, couldn't understand why he never had one. It was so peaceful here, with beautiful greenness all around, almost complete silence surrounding them, and his lovely Belle sitting next to him and smiling softly.

No interruptions, no prying eyes, no town noise…

Yes, it was nice. Very nice. They definitely had to be doing that more often now.

They both finished their sandwiches and emptied the cups, and he leaned his back against the tree, wrapping right arm around Belle's waist as she rested her head at his shoulder. They were silent for a long moment, until she titled her head up, looking at him with somewhat troubled expression. "We shared so much together… and yet, I know so little about you…"

His hand raised to her arm, fingers ghosting over it, as he looked down at her with an indulgent smile. "What would you want to know?"

"Oh, I don't know… Maybe… a favorite color?"

He chuckled and reached for the fruit container, taking out one grape and putting it into his mouth, before answering her, an impish grin at his face."Try to guess, dearie".

"Okay..." She pulled back and looked at him closely, while he kept his gaze ahead at the horizon, trying to not flinch under her scrutiny.

"Black?"

He took one more grape and shook his head. "Nope. Try again"

"Hmm… maybe blue? As my eyes?" Her eyelashes fluttered and he looked at her, a small smile at his face. "As lovely as your eyes are, and I could look into them for the eternity, blue isn't my favorite color."

She blushed at the compliment, and sighed heavily, throwing her hands into the air. "Fine, I give up. What is it, then?"

He grinned triumphantly and fed her with a piece of apple. He watched her chewing the fruit and swallowing it deliciously, before he finally gave her an answer. "It's purple"

She giggled. "Purple? Really?"

His eyes narrowed at her. "Yes. And I don't see what's funny in that. It represents influence and power and mysteriousness… "

"Okay, okay…" She stopped giggling with difficulty, and crawled closer to him, kissing his cheek and snuggling into him, as his arms embraced her tightly. "So… what is your favorite color?"

"Easy. It's blue."

He smiled fondly, his face softening and eyes fixing at hers, blue as the sky. Of course it was her favorite color... Maybe with time it would become his favorite too.

They looked at each other for a while, as if they were enchanted, until he finally broke the spell, clearing his throat and averting his gaze. "So, with that settled, something more you would want to know?"

"Maybe… if you don't mind… maybe you could tell me… what happened to your leg?" She raised her head a little to look at him, to gauge if he looked irritated at her question. He didn't. He just kept looking ahead with unblinking eyes, and sighed heavily.

"An accident… It happened before Bae was born…" he said quietly, and glanced at her briefly, before positioning his eyes at the horizon again. She grabbed his large hand in hers two small, holding it lightly, and she kept being quiet, waiting for him to continue in his own pace.

"I was in another town, working. Had been there for almost a year, when one day I got a call from Milah. She told me… She told me that I was going to be a father... In fact, in a matter of hours, because she was already in the labor. I was so angry on the one hand, because I didn't even know that she was pregnant. But, on the other hand, I was delighted. It was wonderful news… I just couldn't believe it, y'know?"

He sent her another glance, his eyes watery and face alight at the distant memory. "Being a father… I felt so excited… So ecstatic… I quit the job immediately, jumped into the car and rode back to the Storybrooke. I drove like a drunk… Crossed the speed limit, and didn't take any rest, so I was exhausted… but I kept driving, wanting to be there as soon as possible. And then…"

He broke off, his face falling, a sad smile appearing at it. "I don't even remember what happened. I had to have fallen asleep behind the wheel... I woke in the hospital. They told me I'd been unconscious for three days, that I had an accident… Apparently, I hit a tree. And fortunately I didn't hit anyone… But my ankle, it was shattered. They've made a few surgeries, but they couldn't do much, the damage was just too great. They said I'd be using a cane for the rest of my life…" He trailed off, shooting a hateful glare at his right foot.

She squeezed his hand and placed a tender kiss at his jaw. "What happened then? Did you go back home?"

"Yeah, I did. Milah wasn't very happy. They called her, had her number from my documents, and I thought she would've been worried." He laughed bitterly. "She wasn't worried at all. Just pissed. Pissed that I landed in the hospital, and lost my driver's license for a few upcoming years, and that I wasn't at the birth, even though I hadn't seen her in almost a year… She basically started to blame me for everything." He sighed deeply and pulled one hand from her grasp, placing it at her back and drawing her yet closer to him.

"We were never a really good couple, but at that moment I felt that we are truly tearing apart. They say that a child brings people closer, but in our case it was the opposite. Milah never wanted a child, not with me at least. After Bae was born, she made me understand that very clearly. But we survived somehow..."

He made a short pause, squirming a little, until his head rested at the top of hers, and he gave her hair a little kiss. His second arm wrapped around her, joining the first in a tight hug, and she wound her own arms around his waist, playing with the ends of his shirt.

Few more moments passed before he continued, resentment creeping into his voice. "I acquired the pawnshop from my savings, and shortly I started to purchase more assets, finally making some real money. I'd spent most of it on her wants; new cars, new brand clothes, expensive jewelry… Hoped it would somehow mend our marriage... She in turn was throwing the cash away on drinks in bars. She met a former sailor there… Killian Jones…" he spit the name, as if it was poison on his tongue.

"Days later, as she came back home, she gave me the divorce papers, saying that she never loved me and that she's taking Bae and moves out to New York, to live with this guy Jones. I was so pissed and felt so humiliated… But most of all, I was terrified of losing my son. I went after them to New York and I tried to fight for him… But she put on a show and she's always been a good actress…" He sighed into her hair, some of the wisps floating into the air under his puff, and she hugged him tighter.

"She gave quite a performance at the court, alleging that while our marriage lasted, I'd been abusing her, beating her, tormenting her mentally and threatening her… It was not truth at all of course… but it didn't matter. Even Bae's words, confirming my version, didn't matter. Milah was crying… shaking and wailing… throwing accusations… weaving a thick teary story… and, as if that wasn't enough, her attorney produced a sublime speech..." He let out a deep sigh, his breath shallow and uneven.

"The judge, an older woman, acquiesced with them, and so Milah received full custody over Bae. I had no rights to see him… Especially since Milah also got a restraining order, so I couldn't get anywhere near her. And she made sure that Bae was always near her..." He paused, taking few deep shuddering breaths, as his voice started to break.

He had never told this story to anyone, and didn't even plan to tell it to Belle right now, but the words just started to flee from him, and the tight knots of grief and rancor enlacing his heart through years, were now loosening as he shared his story with Belle. It was hard to talk about those years, the events both painful and humiliating, but he believed that she would not judge him.

And indeed, as she pulled back from his embrace, raising her head up to look at his face, there was only sympathy in her eyes, not pity or contempt.

Belle moved one hand from his waist up, cupping his cheek and wiping a single tear rolling down. She tried to smile reassuringly, but she had tears in her eyes too, so she settled for hugging him again and running her hands over his back soothingly.

Nick took one more deep breath before speaking again, a little slower and quieter than before. "I couldn't stay there for much longer, and even if I could… Being so close to my son, but not able to even spend a few minutes with him… It hurt too much… So I came back here. I started to work like crazy. Lost myself in it. I talked with Bae by the phone, still do. But it's not the same, when I can't see him, when I can't hug him… Now we also talk by Skype from time to time, and at least then I can see him…"

He smiled fondly at the memory of his boy, his face lighting up again, as he started to talk about him. "He's fifteen now. Very smart and a kind boy, you would like him. He is nothing like me or Milah. He has a really good heart. I wish you could meet him, talk with him…"

He looked at her excitedly. "Maybe you could join me someday when I talk with him on Skype?", and her heart skipped a beat. He wasn't saying this just casually, he was looking at her with big hopeful eyes. He really wanted her to meet his son… and that was huge. That meant something. She was important to him, and although her heart already knew it, this was an actual proof that he thought seriously about them.

Though he just told her about really heartbreaking events of his past, she couldn't help but feeling happy, no matter how wrong it was. He wanted her to meet Bae. She wasn't just some woman who he dated. No. She was a woman with whom he wanted to share a future.

She felt more tears rising in her eyes, and blinked them away, as she smiled broadly. "I would love to meet him. He seems to be a nice young man".

"He is." He confirmed, his face an image of utter parental pride.

For a few moments they were quiet, until she broke it. "So… since then… you didn't have anyone?"

"I… There was someone…"

He gulped and stared at his feet, his brow furrowed, and hands unconsciously squeezing her almost painfully, as more memories from his past came back to him. The memory of a woman he wanted to forget about. A woman who was a real harpy. Who seduced him, let him believe that she may love him, and then betrayed him, dumped him. He still felt anger and shame for how he let himself to be played and manipulated…

Yes, Cora was indeed a real harpy.

And he couldn't tell Belle about her. Not only because he felt so pitiful at the mere thought of her, but also because of the very reason how their 'relationship' looked like. It was basically like dating a prostitute. She wasn't sweet and innocent like Belle, she was the complete opposite.

He remembered how they were always rough in bed and how she liked games of dominance. This wasn't exactly his style, but as shattered and broken as he was back then, so many insecurities Milah had left him with, Cora made him believe for a second that he wasn't such a pathetic excuse for a man, as Milah claimed.

But in truth, she was drawing to the surface the worst of him, the dark side which Belle should have to never see. His greatest mistake was to fall in love with her. Stupid and naïve he was, he actually thought that they could have some future together. Cora quickly straightened that however, as she left him right when the opportunity to attain her goal occurred, a goal of which was to become part of a royal family, something he could never provide her.

So just like that she left him, mumbling a weak apology, and just as his wife, she disappeared from his life. She didn't take as much as Milah did, but she smashed into pieces the rest of the joints keeping his soul and heart in place, she drained it all and left him empty; dry and withered.

Since then he never looked at any woman, never let himself feel anything to anyone. Even while pleasuring himself he didn't go for any fantasies, didn't imagine any familiar beautiful faces, settling for unknown ones from cheap porn.

For years he managed to live like that, an old, lonely monster…

That is, until the day he met Belle and fell for her.

He tried to fight that feeling, but couldn't. It was just too strong. And as equally frightening, to be falling again for a pretty face. But Belle easily proved to be much more than just a pretty face, and now? Now they were dating, they were together, and he felt truly safe and sound with her. He laid into her his trust and his heart, allowed her to see his vulnerability, and it all felt just right.

She was his light, a light which chased away the darkness from the remains of his soul, a light which pumped new life into his rotting heart. She was his treasure, and although some part of him was still terrified that it would eventually end, he silenced the voice each time it tried to speak.

Because he was happy.

And since he met her, he didn't want to live alone anymore.

Belle was pure; she wasn't cutting like Milah, nor poisonous like Cora.

She was his harbor, his anchor… With her his bad experiences, his failures, didn't matter that much. She wanted to know, but she didn't really care about them. Didn't see him as weak. Didn't judge him when he told her about his awful marriage and about losing his son. And he felt lighter when he told her.

But still, he couldn't tell her about Cora.

He wanted to spend a life with Belle, and so definitely didn't want to scare her. And stories about him and Cora? That would definitely shake her still not big confidence in bed, and if she would also know about the horrible things he did while being with Cora… She really could be scared then… or change her mind and start to think about him as a monster. He didn't care that the rest of the town called him that. If Belle would ever start to, it would break his heart…

He shook it off mentally, and psychically too, clearing his head from the dark clouds. Belle was still looking at him, waiting patiently for him to say something, and he forced a little smile at his face, though it didn't exactly met his eyes.

"I don't really want to talk about it… And anyway, I think it's enough of me for today. Why won't we focus on more… pleasant things, hmm?" he cooed leaning into her ear, and gently nibbled at the earlobe.

She let out a little whimper and snuggled closer to him. "Okay… You're right…" she murmured, kissing his neck, while his hands gently stroked the uncovered bit of her back. Oh, how he loved to be able to touch her soft skin… He really couldn't be happier that, from all the men, she picked him.

After all the miserable years, a lucky star seemed to finally shine for him…

He trailed little kisses up her throat, reaching her mouth and pressing his lips to them softly. After a moment, as he tried to deepen the kiss, she pressed her hands against his shoulders and gently shoved him away.

He made a sound of protest as she untangled herself from his arms, and she giggled, reaching into the basket and taking out a brown covered book.

"Maybe… could I read to you?" she slightly waved the book at him, a shy hopeful smile at her lovely face.

Oh, how much he would love to do something really different right now. He wanted to just continue to kiss her, not to read some silly stories. And his body was definitely agreeing with that. But it was not what Belle wanted, and he would always try do everything to please her.

So now he ignored his awoken cock, and nodded, saying softly, "Of course, darling."

Belle beamed at him and petted her lap, as she outstretched her back comfortably against the tree and opened the book, which title proclaimed 'Fairy Tales'. He lied down, resting his head on her lap obediently.

He closed his eyes as she started to read, her soft voice enveloping him.

"Once upon a time…"

: : . . . : :

Few hours and over a dozen stories later, her voice subsided, her mouth drained and slight hoarseness taking over. She put the book aside and stretched her stiff body. Nick's head was still pillowed on her thighs and she raked her fingers through his hair. He sighed his contentment and slowly rose, stretching his stiff body too, his bones crunching.

She wanted to reach for him and kiss him, but he averted his eyes from her.

"Look, the sunset" he pointed at the sky and she followed his gaze. Indeed, the sun was just starting to set down, the sky in a glorious mix of various colors, reds, purples and oranges, creating a truly astounding view.

She sighed and leaned her head on his shoulder, and he covered her with his jacket, before wrapping an arm around her. They watched the sunset in pleasant silence, reveling in the outstanding intimacy.

When the sun finally disappeared behind the horizon and it started to get dark, they packed everything and headed to his car. They didn't speak all the way, enjoying the quiet chirp of crickets.

Once they were comfortably seated in the Cadillac, Nick ignited the engine and lights, and turned to look at her.

"Do you want go back to your apartment?"

She chewed her lip for a second, pondering. They spent already few nights together, and maybe he wanted to sleep alone sometime? But his puppy eyes were practically pleading her to say 'no', and really, she wanted nothing more to just curl into his arms and wake in them in the morning.

"I would like to sleep at your place, if it's okay with you" she finally said, and although he strongly tried to stay indifferent, he practically beamed at her response.

: : . . . : :

When they arrived at his house and unpacked the basket, hiding the leftovers into the refrigerator, she took a quick shower and lied in the bed waiting until he finished his. She felt terribly sleepy, but didn't want to fell asleep without him at her side.

When he finally left the bathroom and climbed into bed, she instantly snuggled into him, before he could even properly settle himself. He chuckled at her, and pulled the coverlet over them.

She made an annoyed noise as he started to wriggle, her head sliding off from his chest. He snickered, kissing her forehead tenderly, and squirmed a little more until he was finally settled comfortably under warm quilt.

"Are you finished?" she grumbled, and he looked at her amused, seemingly not regretting at all postponing in time her sleep.

"Yes, darling" he kissed her cheek sweetly and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him closely.

She placed her head at his shoulder, one hand resting at his stomach and leg draped over his. She was laying half at him in that position and it felt incredibly comfortable. She sighed, her hand sliding up to his smooth chest, and a sudden question popped out from her mouth before she could think about it. "Have you always had a hairless chest?"

He looked at her surprised, and she blushed at her silliness. Her brain wasn't working very well when she was so sleepy…

She wanted to tell him to forget the question, but before she could, he let out a strangled laugh, his entire body shaking underneath her, until he finally composed himself and choked out a "Yes" answer.

She hummed, drawing a few more circles on his chest, with difficulty suppressing her yawn. Her arm went to his waist again, and she cuddled to him closer, as his hands leisurely stroked up and down her back.

"That's good" she murmured sleepily, not even sure if he heard that, and her eyes closed on their own, pulling her into slumber.

She didn't hear his whispered "Goodnight, my love", neither did she feel the kiss he placed at the top of her head, before sleep overtook him too.