Chapter 77 - Chrysoprase Pair

The week was a horrible wait, but Suigetsu managed to fill it.

He made another trip to Tamina, suddenly feeling almost guilty. His anger—well Karin had said that it was understandable, but it didn't excuse the fact that he'd directed so much of it at the baby as well, just because of who he was or why Karin wanted to make him so badly.

It wasn't like he could apologize to him, nor to Satoko and Gishi—what, did he want to blow his cover?—but the least he could do was make a genuine assessment at Yakata's condition. At how well he was being treated.

And he was being treated well. A crawling, quiet baby with a penchant for sitting in the front entrance of his parents' house, with the most enormous, black eyes that Suigetsu had ever seen on a child. They were familiar eyes, too, but he reflexively kept them from bothering him.

And those scared, scared people were so gentle and kind with him, and he found himself smiling at this, mostly out of relief.

Well, at least he hadn't been lying to Karin.

(Not bothering to consider that she'd have been able to tell if he had been lying. She had checked, in the past, without telling him.)

He filled the time otherwise thinking of her—and the project. And the genes and blood and—could he really handle having a kid?

Well he figured he could handle a kid, he was good at dealing with them, by then. At many different ages. He could handle a kid.

…shit, though, could he settle down? He was old enough, just a bit past thirty, and responsible enough, and he made good money, but…

Karin, after all, would doubtless have him continue his errands—unless she'd call it off after this, whatever this would be—and that would severely put a damper on any chance of him settling down with a… decent woman and starting a family with her.

He could always take the wild oats approach, he figured. But something in that just felt… wrong, and far too careless to him. He could never. Any kid of his, he'd insist on taking care of. Otherwise he wouldn't be able to live with himself, and that was the truth.

And then there was always the possibility that his genes really were fucked-up, and that he'd really be the last Hozuki.

…well, Karin said she'd bring Mangetsu back for that, guaranteed—and she sounded like she meant it, that time. He knew she meant it.

…either that, or he could just settle for… having "normal" kids. Maybe.

Whatever happened, he figured, as a way of getting himself to stop fucking worrying at the end of each of these tangents, he'd be fine.

Probably.

(Karin, as it happened, was having similar thoughts, though hers were far softer, and full of a strange, light sadness.)

(If Suigetsu was really the last of his kind, and so hung up about it—she had felt the painful swirl of his chakra with those words—then why hadn't he said something about it earlier?)

(For him to shoulder that burden so silently and so—relatively—patiently, for so many years…)

(Especially considering Sasuke. Sasuke, and his five children, and his plain ambition from the very beginning that he had to get his clan back.)

(She had to help him. This… was a far nobler purpose than her… worthless—now-worthless, anyways, and deluded from the start—Uchiha dreams.)

(Even though she still loved Yakata so very, very much. But she loved all of her…)

(Creations.)

(…besides, she'd made a promise, hadn't she…?)

The week, somehow, managed to come to an end.

Suigetsu returned to Karin's house.

And Karin had good news. She wore it on her face, even before speaking it.

"The situation is that, if you have a son, there's a one-hundred percent chance of him inheriting your water body trait, okay?" she explained at the kitchen table, with papers he couldn't even begin to comprehend spread out below him. "If you have a daughter, then, she'll just be a carrier, meaning her sons will probably have the trait, but not her daughters. That make any sense?"

"…so no matter what, there's a chance it'll work?" He could feel his smile widening.

"A very good chance," Karin replied. "Honestly, I'd totally give it a go with this method! I mean, yeah, there'll be nothing but male Hozukis for… quite a while, okay, but if you're fine with it then…"

"Well, heck, I don't ever remember ever seeing any girls like me and my brother…" Suigetsu said, his voice hushed with a light excitement. "So that's, like, no problem at all!"

(Things that Suigetsu didn't know, due to his youth: because of their drifting nature and the sheer rarity of women with the water body trait, the norm was for Hozuki men to more or less have kids with whatever women could put up with them long enough, and take the sons that resulted, regarding the daughters as useless.)

(The women that did have the trait were rarely ever sent out to battle, due to the fact that their children, both male and female, were guaranteed to have the trait. They tended to be hoarded up and passed around amongst larger groups.)

(When the Hozuki clan was killed off, a great deal of barbarism died with it, unable to manifest in its only remaining heir.)

"So, are you for it, then?" Karin said.

"Well yeah I'm for it! I mean, it'll take a hell of a lot less time to wait for a kid of my own than to… bank on you making a clone of my brother..."

"Though that… sort of rests on you finding a woman to have your kids, Suigetsu," Karin said, haltingly.

There was a tense silence between them. Suigetsu swallowed.

"…well, I'll figure that out on my own, it's no big deal," he finally said.

"Oh, really."

"Yeah, seriously! I mean, come on, do you honestly think I'm incapable of… something like that?" He frowned, deeply.

"I don't think you're incapable, I just think it might take you a while, that's all, okay?" she replied. "I mean, given how much you move around."

"Yeah, and… yeah, I know," was all he could say.

"I mean, unless you're keeping some secret girlfriend from me," Karin continued, with a pink-red smirk. "And if that's true I would love to meet her, okay."

He crossed his arms. "I'll figure something out, all right? All I needed to know was that it… that it was possible, all right?"

"Mm. I understand," Karin said.

And she thought, for a while.

And then, she said, "You know, I could… probably save you a lot of time…"

He looked up. "Save me time?"

"Well, I made a promise to you to clone your brother, and that would have involved me carrying his clone in surrogate," she said. "Since we've figured out this, I don't see why I can't do the same for a biological child of yours…"

It took him a moment to process.

And once he did, well. "Are you saying you want to have my kid?"

"Well I don't want to, but I think it's only fair to offer, okay?" she replied.

"But that means I'd—I'd have to have…"

"You don't have to have sex with me, Suigetsu," she replied, flatly.

"I—but how the hell else-?"

"I could have you provide a sperm sample and artificially inseminate myself with it, so you don't have to touch me."

His face was making almost dangerous contortions "But how the hell do I-?"

"You ejaculate into a cup, it's not that hard."

"I'm not gonna—do that! That'd disgusting!"

"Then are you saying you'd rather sleep with me directly, then? I mean, there's a higher chance of success with that method, too…" Her voice was suddenly, strangely thoughtful.

"Well, no, I'd—higher chance of success?"

She nodded. "There's a better chance of a successful fertilization if the conception is natural, instead of… done in a petri dish and implanted after the fact. It's just how things are."

He thought on this for a while, with severely lowered eyebrows.

"…you just want to fuck me, don't you."

Karin laughed for a very long time. "Why the hell would I want to fuck you?"

The question, surprisingly, stung.

(And she noticed.)

"I mean, we're just associates," she added, quickly, "I don't really have any romantic interest in you. No offense, okay?"

Suigetsu didn't respond, though the unexpected weakness in his eyes remained.

"Again, I'm only offering because there's a higher chance of success with this method, okay…" she said, softly. "If you'd rather not, it's fine, I have the means to-"

"I am not jizzing in a cup for you," Suigetsu growled.

"Then what are you going to do?" she said, another laugh in her voice.

He took a while to respond, lowering his eyes as he did so.

"…how soon can you do it."

"Excuse me? Do what?" Karin replied.

"The—the sex. When would you be for it." He refused to look at her.

"Well, I could… probably induce an ovulation by the end of the week…" She blinked several times.

"Another week?"

She had her head tilted. "You really want to do it this soon?"

"I've waited long enough," he replied. "So come on."

The amusement in her expression disappeared. "Suigetsu… I'm just concerned, you really want to jump into this so quickly?"

"I can handle it. Besides. You made a promise." His discomfort was increasingly evident. "I don't care."

She sucked in her lips. "One week, then. We'll work out something when you get back, okay?"

"Okay. Can I… can I leave?"

"…go ahead, I won't keep you."

He left.

The week of waiting was agonizing.

Suigetsu couldn't stop moving. Thinking.

Way too much to think about.

He couldn't let what she'd said bother him. He had to focus on the task at hand.

That he'd have a kid.

…with her.

…he really had to prepare.

(Karin's thoughts, as well, were numerous and troubling.)

(The anger in his voice, the fear in his eyes, and the absolute hurt on his face when she'd said those things to him.)

(She found herself looking forward to it, almost. But not because it would feel good.)

(This wouldn't be her child. The fact that it wouldn't be a clone, that it would share half of her genes made no difference.)

(…she really had to prepare.)

Eventually, he turned back up, still unable to look her in the eye.

Karin sent Ooda away somewhere. They needed their privacy.

…to discuss first, of course. There were a lot of things that needed to be made clear.

"Lights off, clothes on, no talking, no kissing, no licking, no biting, okay?"

"…why would I lick you?" Suigetsu said, face tightening in disgust.

(Trying not to imagine that she'd experienced it enough to not want it.)

"You never know," Karin replied, matter-of-factly. "Also, once we're done, I want you out of my room. Right away. Okay? You can… sleep in one of the downstairs rooms."

"That's… fine," Suigetsu said.

"We'll also have to do this a least two more times this week. I want to guarantee conception, and I do not want to have to do this more than I have to, okay?"

"Sure," Suigetsu said, the feeling fairly mutual.

It was a dizzying feeling, how much and how little he was looking forward to this, at the same time.

They just had to get this over with.

He waited outside of Karin's bedroom after that, while she got ready. He was in his underwear and a shirt, as per her request. His stomach felt like it was made of string.

After a while, he began wondering to himself just what the hell was taking her so long, and he voiced this wonder.

"I'm getting ready, okay? Be patient!" she said behind her door.

He tried, and failed, and uncomfortably continued to wait.

Eventually he gave up, and he got up and opened the door to Karin's bedroom. It was not locked.

What he saw made his heart race. And not in the good way.

Karin was naked from the waist-up, getting dressed into some sort of pajamas. And at Suigetsu's entrance she grabbed a nearby sheet to cover herself, on reflex, but she gave up the effort halfway and glared at him in a resigned sort of way.

"Well, go ahead and look," she told him.

He looked. He didn't want to, but he looked.

And he stammered. "I, I, I, I'll, uh, I'll let you, uh. Finish. Yeah."

And he got out of there, gasping for breath as he closed the door behind him and slid with his back to the wall to the floor.

The first thing he felt, after he got over the initial shock, was a profound, almost crushing wave of awe for the woman.

If a person's body was a temple, then Karin's body was made of ruins.

The six children she had given birth to previously had certainly done a number to her figure, in addition to the weight she had deliberately gained in order to increase the chances of a successful gestation, or so she'd told him. Somehow the flesh seemed far less clean than the smooth shapes her clothes suggested, her skin especially. Silver-white and red streaks ripped their way across her stomach, like a wreath over her hips.

And this was saying absolutely nothing about the chainmail scars of bite marks all over her chest, her neck, her arms, and a thick, star-like scar between her breasts. He knew the stories behind those scars, or at least echoes of stories.

Hers was the body of a woman who had suffered for her work. A body that demanded respect, but garnered pity from weaker, or kinder hearts.

And all Suigetsu could think of was something she had screamed at him two weeks previous.

"You think this is fucking EASY?"

There had been a slowly-building onslaught of respect, but seeing her body, seeing how ruined it was, was the keystone.

…all of this, and she still wanted to help him? And his stupid, selfish little request for another Hozuki? A kid?

When he finally returned to her bedroom, allowed in by her words, his feet were hesitant, as if he no longer felt worthy of being near her and her sacrifices.

Her eyes did nothing to help this. She'd taken off her glasses, and—well, maybe it was just him—she was looking at him with just that much more wariness. Or maybe it was derision. She'd covered her body and her scars completely, by then.

Much was he wanted to apologize, he felt like she wouldn't have accepted it, even if he'd tried.

The best he could do was be… respectful. Careful. And hope that was enough.

It took them a while to get started. And once they had, Suigetsu kept his face away from hers, keeping his body from touching hers too extensively with his arms; he kept his movements slow, and very, very gentle.

It was strange, though, how immediately different it was from every other encounter in Suigetsu's life. Karin's body was soft, and warm; she wasn't writhing beneath him, murmuring practiced, acrylic lines about how impressive he was, how he was amazing. She moved with him, not for pleasure, but for ease. Things would only be more uncomfortable if she were inert.

There were no words, just two sets of breathing, and the rustling of skin and cloth.

In any other circumstance, Suigetsu might have thought he was enjoying himself, even with all the care and the thoughts keeping him from losing himself, like he would with any other woman. But he wasn't enjoying this, he couldn't. This was just an obligation, a fulfillment of a favor.

He was only doing this for a kid.

He tried not to take long. But it took long, to his frustration. To make up for it, he got off the bed as soon as he could, keeping his eyes to the floor.

"I'll, uh. See you in the morning, then," he said, from the door.

Karin, regaining her breath, replied, "See you in the morning."

All he could think of, trying to sleep in his borrowed room afterward, was if he had been courteous enough.

They saw each other again in the morning, and the encounter was about as pleasant as he could expect. She drank her breakfast tea with her eyes on the rim of the mug; he spent several minutes trying to think of something to say, but couldn't.

Ooda, serving up the meal—rice porridge, mostly for Suigetsu, since he knew that Suigetsu liked more liquid foods—had his shoulders raised in sympathetic, fourteen-year-old discomfort.

Karin, eventually, said something. "We'll try again tomorrow night, and once more on Friday, okay?" She still wasn't looking at him.

"Sure, that's—fine, whatever works for you," Suigetsu replied. "You, uh, want me out of the house 'til then?"

"I don't care," she replied.

He removed himself anyways. Didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable than she must have been.

This did nothing to improve his mood. All he could think about was how selfish he was being. Even with the rational, angry retort in his mind telling him that he was just being foolish, that he'd waited long enough, that if he didn't do anything he'd be alone, forever.

He still felt grateful, and was ashamed that there wasn't more he could do, that there wasn't an easier way to show this, to apologize. Was that really so bad?

Apparently, it was.

He returned on that Wednesday later in the evening. And when Karin told him to wait outside her door while she got ready, he waited.

Being with her that second time was different. It wasn't like he had an urge to suddenly kiss her, or stroke her face with his hand, since she'd probably toss him out for that. And he still couldn't talk.

Showing affection—no, no, no, fuck no, not affection, gratitude—was difficult under such limiting circumstances. When the act was just an act, a duty, like this.

All he could do was go with it, and hope he wasn't making her any more uncomfortable than she likely already was.

After all, what was it she'd said? "Why the hell would I want to fuck you?"

They were just associates—though that made them sound like they were equals, when it was far more apparent to Suigetsu that she was in charge. She was just doing this because she'd promised him.

She didn't really want to be with him, and frankly, he didn't blame her.

This wasn't affection, this was gratitude, because affection meant something mutual, something… real.

(…only, Suigetsu had long since given up on finding out what "real" was. Long ago.)

Once again, the sex took far longer than he would have liked. But this time, as he was sitting up to leave, Karin grabbed him by the wrist.

"You don't have to leave so… suddenly, okay…?" she said. He could barely see her face in the dark, now, but her voice sounded almost genuinely concerned through her breath. "Last time, you ran out so fast you almost made me feel bad… At least catch your breath, okay…?"

Eyes away, eyes away. "Don't… feel bad, all right? Just figured you… wanted your privacy or something. That's all," he said.

"I'm not exactly concerned with privacy much, right now, okay?" she replied. He saw the outline of her body leaning against the pillows. "Besides, I get the feeling this isn't about that. Are you okay?"

Just when his heart was slowing down, there it was, speeding back up again. "I'm—I'm fine, jeez, what makes you think otherwise?"

"You're lying."

And Karin knew when people were lying. "I'm just." Careful, careful. "I just don't wanna make things worse for you, all right? Since you've… been through so much already. That'd be real shitty of me."

For a while, there was nothing but the sound of her breathing. Naturally, he'd fucked up.

"I should go," he said.

And when he was at the door, she said, "You're doing a good job, okay? You're honestly not doing anything wrong."

…surely she was just patronizing him. He didn't say anything in return, closing the door behind him, and going to get his things.

He refused to sleep in her house that night. Even though she'd said it would be okay.

There was more inner wrestling, that night; more hate, and a perverted little idea telling him that maybe he should have just jizzed in a cup for her. Since she wouldn't have had to deal with him so directly with that method.

Thursday he barely managed to pass with drink and a spot of gambling, because he had no idea what else to do. And, as the night fell, the same old insecurities did also.

Then, Friday.

Like Wednesday, it was different. But not this different.

In those rebellious, unwanted moments when he caught a flicker of Karin's face out of the corner of his eye, he saw something… off in the pained concentration that she had worn previously. He had never noticed that she, like him, had been trying to avoid his face—it was only apparent here because she was trying to look at him, now, whenever her eyes cracked open.

And he only noticed this because one of her hands managed to make its way to his jaw, fingers cradling the back of his neck. Like she wanted him to look back.

And then, another hand, on his back, over his shoulder. Pulling him closer.

He wasn't exactly sure what to do. The only clear action to take was to go with it, because resisting carried far too many risks.

So much closer to her, her breath so much louder, it was that much harder not to lose himself. He wasn't supposed to enjoy this. She was only doing this to feel more comfortable. It wasn't for his sake, it wasn't for…

And suddenly she had both of her hands on the sides of his face, and she was pulling his face toward hers.

And she was kissing him on the mouth. More than kissing.

Well, if she'd broken one rule, he could chance breaking another, and he spoke as they pulled apart. "I thought… you said… no kissing…!"

"That… wasn't a kiss…" He tried not to imagine that she was suddenly smiling, she couldn't be. "I just… removed your seal… that's all… okay…?"

The realization hit him with a strange, hot prickliness, and it came to settle in his stomach, on his tongue and around his eyes. "You… you didn't…"

Either his imagination was sickeningly persistent, or she really was smiling, now. "Figured… it wasn't necessary… any more… aren't you finished yet?"

The sharpness of her last few words fit her far better than the strange wandering touches of before.

He wanted to feel ashamed, because he hadn't finished, because she didn't really want this, but, but…

Had she really…?

He was already so close to her, closer than on Wednesday, than on Monday. His back arched and rippled, his fingers pressing into his palms from where they had curled near her head, his own head almost touching that beautiful, horrible scar constellation beneath her shirt.

And with a voice that came from the very top of his fast-beating heart, he said her name.

"Oh, Karin…!"

What came with it was not that old, familiar rush of pain to his temples, but a sun-warm, incredible sensation of thankfulness, overwhelming him so much that it almost began leaking out of his eyes, his nose.

He disappeared inside of it.

And he thoroughly soaked her bed as a result.

Karin was very suddenly herself again. "Suigetsu, what the hell?"

Oh, this was embarrassing. "Look, I, I can explain…"

"I just cleaned these sheets, okay?"

Suigetsu, currently a puddle spread across a good three-quarters of her bed and saturating her duvet, tried to pull himself together. "I'm sorry, I can clean it up, I swear!"

"Well you'd better! Seriously, what the hell was that?"

What the hell was that? It'd only barely ever happened before, in his skin turning glassy-clear and wet sometimes near the end, but not to this extent.

And in removing his elbow from the far corner of the duvet, a most shameful thought occurred to Suigetsu.

Oh hell, he did not just…

"I, uh, I'm sorry. Sorry. Really sorry," he said. "I'll, uh, get out of here, yeah, sorry."

Karin leaned forward, propping herself up on her hands. "Why are you apologizing…?"

"Got your… sheets wet. Sorry." He'd removed his leg and was stumbling for the floor, at least. "Stupid of me, embarrassing, sorry."

He finally made it to the floor, but his heart was racing, and something seemed to have happened to his limbs. His position was a pitiful one indeed, legs bent at strange angles beneath him, barely sitting upright.

"…seriously, are you okay?" Karin said.

"Fine, fine, fine, I'm fine, I'm sorry."

He couldn't see where she was sitting, which was probably for the best.

He waited for her to call him a liar. She didn't.

What she did say was, "You really don't have to leave that quickly. Honest."

He tried his legs again. Still not cooperating. "I don't… want to be a bother."

"You aren't being a bother, okay? I agreed to this, remember?"

Not to this. Not to this.

He was not supposed to enjoy this, and especially not like that, because that would be unfair to her, it would be disrespectful, it would be…

"…just don't wanna make it uncomfortable for you. And I'm sorry about your sheets," he said, again.

It took her a while to respond. All the while he kept trying his legs, wanting so badly to leave.

"…the only thing making me feel bad, Suigetsu, is the fact that I'm obviously not making you feel comfortable, okay?" she said, softly. "I can tell, I know you don't like it, and I can't… force you to like it. But I tried to make it less… painful for you. I know… what I look like, and I know how disgusted you feel."

…disgusted? She honestly thought that he…?

"It's okay, this is the last time. We won't have to do this again if I can help it, okay? I'm sorry," she continued. "I wish I'd done better."

A sour, unwanted smirk pinched his mouth sideways. "Hey, that's my line…" he replied. "It's… fine. It's fine. Besides, I don't… think you're disgusting, all right? I…" He swallowed his smirk. "I… respect you too much to even think that way. I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable, since you're already doing so much for me, and…"

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Where the hell was this coming from?

"…listen, again, I'm sorry. I guess I just ended up making things worse. I didn't want you trying harder than you needed to. I'm not fucking worth it."

There was silence, then a rustle, and a creak of a mattress.

And Karin's hand was on his face again, pulling his chin sideways, and with it, the rest of his face. She was leaning towards him, on her stomach, over the mattress.

He kept his eyes sideways. No, no, no, he couldn't look at her, not like this.

"Suigetsu," she said. He tried to push his chin downward, to resist her further, but couldn't. "You are worth it, okay? You've done a hell of a lot for me, and you've been through so much alone that it's only fair for me to do this."

No, no, no, he did not deserve these words. "…because it's fair," he grumbled. "Sure…"

"Suigetsu, please. With your clan and everything taken into account…"

"You only made me a promise. If you really had a choice, you wouldn't even consider it, would you."

There was a very, very gentle yank on his chin. "Suigetsu," she said again. "For fuck's sake, look at me, okay?"

And he had to look at her.

She was scowling, almost, though there wasn't anger in her expression—there was determination. Her face so close to his, he could painfully, plainly see that.

"I want to do this. I really, truly want to have this kid for you, okay? And don't you dare say you're forcing me into this, because this is my choice. If I didn't want to do this, I wouldn't be doing it."

He managed to get his arm to cooperate, so he could push her hand off of his chin. "Just… forget it. Forget I said anything. I'm sorry."

Somehow, he stood.

Somehow, he left.

He didn't sleep in her house that night. Again. Like hell he could. Not after that.

She thought, she honestly thought that she disgusted him? And she was trying to make him less uncomfortable?

And after what he had done, after what he had done, trying not to like it, obviously making her feel worse, and…

And then just fucking exploding all over her, oh, Suigetsu would honestly be surprised if she wasn't disgusted by him in the end.

He was only obviously the worst person ever. No fucking contest. A miserable fucking cuss.

The only thing making him feel worse was the fact that it was so obvious now what she had been trying to do. A last, desperate attempt to make him feel more comfortable with their last union, though she had no logical reason to do so. She was just trying to be nice.

He could barely remember his actions but he had absolutely no doubts, no fucking doubts that he had just resisted and made her feel even worse and oh holy shit he was just hopeless.

She had even taken the seal off of his tongue.

…she had taken the seal off of his tongue.

He had said her name.

And what had happened with the sheets. Why had that even happened-

Oh.

Oh.

…no way, no fucking way, no no no no.

That had only happened because, because she…

Not because the sex had been great, it was just okay, well not really, but, and not because he loved her or anything, fuck no, but…

(Because she finally trusted him.)

(After twelve years, she finally trusted him.)

(Trust, always a truly abstract concept to Suigetsu, had never been so heavy, and so precious than in that miraculous instance.)

…she had been angry at him afterwards, but it wasn't like she could have known that he…

…fucking shit. If he wasn't the greatest fuck-up in the world, an insensitive, awful son of a bitch that couldn't control his own body. Karin didn't deserve that.

At least she didn't want to do him again. Yeah, sure, if he were to be given another chance then he'd take care to show that he wasn't uncomfortable with her, that he wasn't disgusted by her, but that wasn't what she wanted, and besides, he'd probably come off as creepy or even eager, so…

Sleeping helped his mood, a little, as well. But he still had to take several deep breaths before entering her house again, in the morning.

Ooda was making breakfast, but his mother was absent. He looked up from the stove at Suigetsu, in reflex, but quickly returned to the pan. "Ah, good morning, Suigetsu-san. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, uh. I'm hungry. But, uh. Don't worry about me, you can… make something for me later, all right?"

"Well, all right, Suigetsu-san. Though I don't want you to be hungry…"

"…I'll be fine," Suigetsu said.

He sat down at the table. He waited.

And Karin, eventually, entered. She was already dressed. "Good morning, darling," she said.

…to Ooda, of course. She didn't say those things to Suigetsu. Duh.

"Good morning, Mom," Ooda replied, receiving a kiss from her on his cheek. "Bacon and fried eggs for breakfast, is that okay?"

"Wonderful," Karin replied. "And, uh, good morning to you too, Suigetsu."

"…hey," Suigetsu replied, with a meager wave.

And for some reason, after sucking on her bottom lip, she asked, "Are you feeling better today?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" he replied.

She sighed. "Last night was… a disaster, okay. I apologize for that. I just wanted to know if you were doing better, since I could tell how uncomfortable you were when you left."

The words fell into him like a bucket into a well. He tried to drag some of his own words out. "I'm… I'm fine. And I was fine last night too, all right? You did nothing wrong and I wasn't uncomfortable about anything."

Her face was still pensive as she sat down at the table with him. Across from him. He stared at the floor instead of her.

"…I'll know by the end of the month if it was a success," she said, suddenly. "Just so you know. I don't need you back before then. You can… do your rounds, do whatever it is you do out there, I don't care. You don't have to hang around here for anything else, okay?"

He would have felt far better if she'd intended for her words to shoo him. But he knew better, and the tone was undeniable.

What she meant was, "Look, I get that this is painful for you, so it's okay if you want to get away from me, I understand."

Somehow, the translation produced a stronger reply within him. "If you need me to stick around I will, you know," he said. "Besides, I will come back, no matter what. Not like I wouldn't. I got a job to do, and…"

And he had to see if it was a success.

"…I'll just shut up now. Sorry."

Karin just sighed. Of course. She didn't want to put up with his shit, and neither did he.

…speaking of putting up with shit.

…well he'd have to ask eventually. "Uh, if it ends up working," he said, very reluctantly. "If you want, I'll… take it off your hands right away. I mean, since this... thing is already asking so much of you."

She reached across the table and lightly slapped his arm with the back of her fingers. "Like hell I'm letting you do that. Your kid stays with me for at least three months, end of story. I don't want you killing your own kid because you decided to go traveling with it too early, okay?"

It hadn't been a strong blow, but Suigetsu still rubbed his hand over the skin she'd touched. "Well, jeez, just thought I'd offer…"

He saw the red, spiked blossom of her head tilt slightly, and he chanced a true look at her face. "I appreciate the sentiment but I think it's better for the both of us if I keep it at my place for the first few months, okay? I'll keep it longer if you need me to, actually. I mean, you're very busy, and I don't even want to know where you get all your money from."

He felt his jaw grow slacker, and tightened it as soon as he was aware. "No kidding?"

"Nope, no kidding. Come on, Suigetsu, if this works then this is as close as I'm gonna get to actually knowing something I've… made, okay? Other than you, Ooda, darling," she tossed over her shoulder.

Ooda, scraping at the bacon, gave a self-conscious shrug.

"…well, thanks. That's… way too generous of you," Suigetsu said, to the table.

"Hey, it's only fair, again. You take care of my little ones, I take care of yours, okay?"

He hated the fact that his smile was so wide.

But he hated, even more, that he told her, "Thank you, Karin."

Saying her name was a rare thing.

…like hell it was a pleasure.

(But her knowing smile in return maybe was.)