Chapter 82 - Black Spinel Finale
Ooda only opens the door two days later, when Suigetsu and Shingetsu arrive. Ooda is not the only one with a seal on the back of his neck, and Shingetsu's crying and insistence that "something is wrong with Mommy" are enough to bring Suigetsu back.
Suigetsu hides his shock badly.
Ooda looks horrible. His hair is matted and greasy from lack of washing; his face is hyper-thin from his refusal to eat and his anxiety, making his cheekbones jut out of his face like shelves.
He looks even more like his original than he ever has, and Suigetsu notices, and reacts with a disgust he tries to mask.
Ooda notices this.
"K-kid, what happened?"
Ooda's voice is dull and raspy.
"She's down here. Still hasn't woken up. Tried everything. Little one's in an incubator. Sorry about the smell."
He leads them through the foul, iron-smelling house with a tired gait, his shoulders slumped.
"Yeah, but—Ooda, are you okay?"
Shingetsu is clinging to his father fearfully, clumsily covering his nose with one hand.
Ooda's answer is very low.
"…it doesn't matter. Come on, she's down the hall..."
He has placed his mother in a recovery room. A worrying amount of tubes and wires are connected to her arms. The only sound is the heart monitor, beeping at an uncomfortably slow rate.
Suigetsu takes a deep breath.
"How long's she been like that…?"
"Almost three days. She's healing. But still in serious condition. I don't know what else to do."
The hollowness in Ooda's voice breaks a little.
"This is all my fault…"
Suigetsu grabs his reactive reflex and uses it for all he's got.
"How is this your fault? You haven't even told me what happened."
"I was out of the house. I was at theater practice. She was alone. And the little one—its bones started growing inside of her, and they hurt her, and she must have been laying there for—for I don't know how long, I shouldn't have left, I should have been home…"
Ooda's previously-hollow voice fills with anguish.
"I should never have left, I'm just fooling myself…"
Suigetsu reaches out to him with both hands, with Shingetsu still clinging to his legs.
"Hey, hey, calm down, this hardly sounds like your fault. Even if you were home, you probably…"
Ooda has his head to the ground and is very close to crying.
Suigetsu takes another breath, a deep one.
"You did your best. You gotta take care of yourself now, okay? Have you gotten any sleep?"
Ooda shakes his head weakly.
"Then go and sleep, for fuck's—I mean for heaven's sake! What would your mom say if she woke up and saw you like this? She'd kick my ass for not taking care of you, that's for damn sure."
Suigetsu pries his son off of his legs for a moment to put an arm around Ooda's back. They're nearly the same height.
"It's okay now. Go take a shower and get some rest. A hot shower, I know how good those make you feel. I'll keep an eye on your mom for you until you're feeling better."
Ooda reluctantly allows this, mumbling in return.
"…thank you, Suigetsu-san…"
Karin wakes up while Ooda is still asleep, under Suigetsu's watch. Shingetsu has fallen asleep on his lap, slumped over in his seat.
"Where's Ooda…?"
Suigetsu leans forward a little and finds himself struggling with what to say.
"…he's fine, he went to get some sleep."
She closes her eyes, almost in relief.
"Thank goodness… I was so worried he'd hurt himself…"
Suigetsu decides not to tell her how bad the boy looked.
"How do you feel…?"
"Like my entire stomach is a bruise. I don't think I'll be able to sit up for a while…"
"Well don't worry, I'm here and so is your kid. We're gonna take care of you, all right?"
"That's a relief…"
Her sarcasm is thin but an enormous comfort to Suigetsu.
"Do you know… what happened to the little one…?"
Suigetsu pauses.
"…he said he put it in an incubator, but I don't know anything else…"
She turns her head away, slightly.
"…I see."
For lack of a better action, Suigetsu scoots his chair closer and puts his hand on hers.
"I'm just glad you're okay, okay? You gotta work hard at getting better for us now."
She manages a very weak laugh.
"You think I don't know that…?"
He stays with her for a while, rubbing his thumb over her palm, until Shingetsu, left in the other chair, wakes up and gets very curious and upset. After which Suigetsu tries to keep the boy away from her stomach, trying to explain that she's recovering.
Ooda, eventually, sees that she has awakened. He's too ashamed to speak, though her comfort and reassurance that he did nothing wrong is genuine.
"You saved my life, Ooda, okay…? That's a great thing you did."
He can't look at her.
"…I'm sorry if the little one doesn't live, Mom. That's my fault…"
"…don't blame yourself, darling, okay? It'll be all right, no matter what happens."
Somehow, Ooda is unable to convince himself of this.
The immediate problem afterward is in getting Karin healed and at least out of bed.
Of all people, it is Suigetsu who suggests using Shingetsu's healing factor to help speed things along.
(Ooda had the same thought, though it was far darker in his mind when he had it. He thought it too Orochimaru-like to suggest, and kept quiet out of shame and disgust at himself.)
(Suigetsu is far more acceptable.)
Karin agrees with extreme hesitance.
The effort is explained to Shingetsu in as simple terms as possible.
"If you let Mommy bite you, then she'll get better and you'll be able to… hug her again."
Shingetsu is cautious.
"Will it hurt?"
"No, darling, it won't hurt. You'll just… feel very sleepy afterward."
His mother's eyes are full of what she hopes is truth.
(If he feels even the slightest trace of the strange pain-pleasure her own ability gives her, she resolves never to resort to it again.)
Going through with this sends Shingetsu into a watery, two-day nap, but it at least allows Karin to sit up and walk around a little after a bit of further rest. No scar is left on his arm, to her relief.
She asks to see the little one, afterward.
Ooda brings her to the incubator in a wheelchair. She presses her hand against the plastic shield in looking at it.
Asaoto is extremely premature, his skin wrinkled where it isn't pierced through with his own bones. Ooda has covered him with socks and a hat and diaper as best as he can manage, but the spikes are almost too much of a hindrance. What breaths he takes are shallow and shivering.
"It's still alive."
Karin's voice is slightly, horrifiedly breathless.
"Yes, he's… managed to hold on."
Ooda is nearly as quiet.
"It's a miracle he's even lasted this long, considering how premature he is, and…"
He can't complete the sentence, not with the memory of that afternoon still fresh in his mind.
"It's no miracle, Ooda. You did this, your good work caused this. Whether or not it…"
She shakes her head.
"He makes it now is up to us. You've done enough, okay…?"
The compliment almost makes Ooda cry.
Of course, she asks what's wrong.
All he can do is insist that it was only a miracle, that he isn't that skilled.
(Which, in truth, it somewhat is.)
As soon as she's recovered more, enough to move around, enough to work again, somewhat, she begins trying to remove the bones.
This at least gets Asaoto to cry, finally. It calms her as much as it makes her heart ache.
She has her uterus replaced with a new one, grown fresh from her own tissue, once it's apparent that Asaoto is stable, growing, and as healthy as he can possibly be. She has priorities. It takes time.
Ooda performs the transplant, flawlessly, cleanly, with an air of resigned duty.
The best he can do is to stay on his path, he supposes now. Because fooling himself and straying—both physically, both metaphorically—only brought him misery and pain.
He has already informed Ryusuke of this.
The man makes a visit shortly after Suigetsu's arrival—in fact, it is Suigetsu who answers the door on that afternoon.
"Yeah, what do you need?"
"Oh, uh—pardon me, but… who are you?"
"I work for the doctor, who is currently unavailable at the moment. Can I do anything for you?"
"Well, uh, I'm a friend of Ooda-kun's from the theater. We're in a play together. I was just stopping by to see if everything was all right."
Suigetsu pauses.
"You want me to find him for you?"
"If it's not too much trouble."
"Fine, gimme a second."
Suigetsu steps inside the house and goes to find Ooda. He's in his usual spot in his mother's recovery room, keeping a miserable eye on Shingetsu, who is asleep in a translucent bucket of water on the floor.
"Hey—Ooda."
He looks up immediately. He is not called his name often by Suigetsu.
"There's some guy here from the theater to see you."
Ooda's expression empties.
"…you want me to send him away? He's just asking if you're okay, and I can tell him that."
Ooda stands.
"No, I'll… go talk to him myself. Thank you, though, Suigetsu-san…"
Ooda walks past him slowly, and to the entrance, where Ryusuke is waiting with an anxious expression that lightens only slightly when he sees Ooda's face.
"Ooda-kun! Is everything all right? Who was that man I just talked to?"
Ooda lowers his head, trying to smile dismissively.
"Just… a friend of my mother's, he's helping me take care of her right now…"
Ryusuke touches his thin lips, lightly, with his fingers.
"Did something happen to her?"
Ooda nods.
"She's gotten very sick very suddenly, and I have to take care of her. I don't know when she'll be better."
"Oh, that's—Ooda-kun, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?"
"You can tell Yaku-san that I'll be dropping out of the play."
Ryusuke's face contorts as he processes the news.
"Dropping out?"
"I need to stay home and take care of my mom. Besides, it's not like the theater needs me, you can have my part…"
"Well… if you need to take care of your mother then I more than understand, and I'm sure Yaku-sama will too, but we're all going to miss you. I can ask him to keep the role open in case you're able to come back…"
Ooda shakes his head.
"No, I'm done. I don't think acting is for me, Ryusuke-san. I'm sorry. It's not… what I'm meant to do."
"How can you say that…? You're an incredibly gifted actor, Ooda-kun, I know. You know."
Ooda's expression grows thoughtful.
"…there are better things I could be doing, is all. I'm sorry, Ryusuke-san, you've been ever so supportive, but I just can't keep doing this…"
Ryusuke finds himself at a loss for words.
Truly, he feels an incredible amount of sadness, not only seeing Ooda so visibly depressed, but in hearing him say these things about something he obviously has a great passion for.
(And some amount of disappointment. Ooda, in a way, has been his student for the past five years, and seeing this now speaks to his failure as a teacher.)
"…well, I can't force you to come back. But if you ever change your mind, we'll be here with open arms, I'm absolutely sure of it."
"Thank you, Ryusuke-san…"
A hug would do nicely here, but Ooda feels too ashamed and self-conscious for it, and Ryusuke isn't sure if it would make him feel better or worse.
"Well… I hope the production goes well, I'm sure you'll make a better Piano Man than I ever will. You don't even have to wear the contacts, considering your eyes…"
"It won't be nearly as good as your interpretation, Ooda-kun."
"Mm… Well, break a leg, either way… You can come by later to visit my mother, I'm sure she'd appreciate it, but she's a little too unwell at the moment…"
"Of course. I'll be sure to come by."
Ryusuke's heart wants to stay but his legs are twitching to leave.
"…take care, Ooda-kun. I hope things get better for you soon."
Ooda doesn't respond, and he doesn't bother to stay and watch Ryusuke leave.
Things do get better.
Though Ooda's confidence is never quite as solid as it was when he was in the theater.
He does, gradually, work up enough courage to venture outside the house again, mildly getting over his fear that something will happen to his mother while he is away for any period of time. This is a great comfort to her, seeing him regain his ease.
In the wake of Kotoji's birth, he even returns to the theater, albeit shyly, to ask for his janitorial job back, which Yaku is more than pleased to return to him, with a thunderous clap on the back and a grin.
(He accompanies her and Suigetsu and Shingetsu all on their journey to Konoha to deliver Kotoji, and does her makeup, all coffee-tan foundation and banana-yellow lipstick and thick lavender eye shadow. The colors are so bright and garish, he figures, that any lingering resemblance will be overlooked.)
There are no more practices with Ryusuke after the performances, however. No more impromptu scene reenactments. No matter how much Ooda desires it, he has to resist.
His path is painfully pre-ordained.
And some things cannot be helped.
Returning home after being banished from the house to Juugo's hut by a jutsu in that emergency instance—he understands, later, that it was for his protection, that someone who might have identified him falsely had arrived—he finds a note on the fridge from his mother, saying she is going to be in Konoha for a few days.
Even with the date of her return clearly outlined—she knows he'll worry otherwise—the days go by slowly and sharply, and his panic grows like a creeping moss, until it reaches his head.
He has to go and find her. Because the last little one, the last one, Osato, has given her so much trouble, even though she has medicine, something might happen, like with Asaoto, and he has to be there for her.
He packs a bag full of medicine in plastic bags and a satchel full of clothes, and he begins on foot. The thought of using a transport scares him; there are too many people on them that might take him wrongly. On foot he can stay out of sight, and declare himself clearly at Konoha's gate to the guards. If his mother is there, then she can add to his story, and possibly Sasuke too, identifying him as her son and nobody else.
The prospect of this terrifies him, but he needs to be near her more.
Of course, meeting the spook on the first night down ruins everything.
It is unexpected, the man emerging from bushes, eyes wide and pink, his skin paper-pale.
And his awed, hushed cries of "Master Orochimaru," his enormous hands reaching out, as if to touch him, but holding back, as if unpermitted.
Ooda's reaction is, at first, scared. Defensive.
This goes over badly, with the man.
"Don't you, don't you remember me, Master, you said you would come back for me, you said I, was special, Master, please…!"
He has an aura around him, and it is dangerous and agitated.
Ooda doubts that he can run. And he doubts even more that he can fight.
Ooda, Ryusuke always says, has a talent for interpretation. Reading between the lines, to find a character's true personality.
Ooda has read diaries, journals, and reports. He's seen films of the man.
He needs no makeup, no costume. His body, disgusting and twisted as it is, is the perfect disguise. Enough to keep himself safe in the presence of the unnatural, ragged man from Sound.
"Of course I remember you. It's wonderful to see you again, dear. I missed you so. It ever so pleases me to see that you remain loyal to me, even now."
"Yes, Master, I have been waiting, I have been looking, I have, and now I found you, I knew this was your chakra… Master, anything, do you need anything of me?"
"…yes, dear. In the morning, once I am rested, I ask that you guard me on my way to Konoha. There is a woman there I need to see."
"Oh yes, Master, I know where Konoha is, my old false-home, Konoha, I will protect you, I will, I will keep you safe, anything for you, I knew you would return for, me, I knew it…"
Ooda realizes, as he falls asleep, twitchily-guarded over, that he's probably completely doomed himself.
That he'll have to keep the mask on once he arrives. Because nobody will believe him if he says he's a clone, not in the presence of a man like that as his guardian. Especially if the mask is the only thing keeping him from being harmed.
He thinks of his mother, of her fears, of Sasuke, of Sakura, of the not-siblings that are slowly being uncovered, one by one.
…there are other things he could be doing. And, above all else, he wants his mother to be safe.
The plan doesn't completely come to fruition until he's lying, crushed and crippled, on the muddy ground, trying to stay alive, desperate for someone to come around. Even though they'll know who he is.
All he can think about is her.
If he's captured, he'll blame himself. Say he was using her. And he'll protect the children, as well, saying that there are more of them than they'll ever find. Relying on what they don't know.
They won't hurt her if that's the case, yes, she'll be okay, and so will everyone else, they'll all be safe.
If he's hurt in the process, it doesn't matter.
He's already hurt.
This is what he's meant to do.
A freak like him deserves nothing better.
He isn't an actor.
He is Orochimaru, and that is all that people will ever see.