- OneRepublic: "Counting Stars", "I Lived" (Native)

53. Illness

Minato felt stares piercing his neck, but kept his own eyes fixed on the Hokage's expression as he skimmed through the report Minato had handed in with his mission papers.

"Had I heard about the unfortunate scout from the border post earlier, I would have considered not sending you inside the village," the Hokage said and turned the page. "But I understand you've even prepared in case we need someone inside the village again."

"Yes," Minato said with a short nod, ignoring the girly whispering from the corner.

"This 'someone' will have to be you, I see," the Hokage continued. "Might as well be, I don't think I can trust anyone else to come out with his arms still attached to his body."

"I never met A, which might be the reason," Minato explained.

"Sure, A has speed to compete against you," the third said with a clever smile. "But I'm still under the impression you're a fraction faster than him. Just my beliefs, though."

"Thanks," Minato said with a polite smile.

"Good work," the third said, gathering the papers with a clip and putting it aside. "We now know more of their intentions. Now run along, I need to give these chuunin their own missions."

Minato nodded, and instead of using the office door to leave, he made a single hand seal and disappeared, leaving the Hokage to continue his conversation with the chuunin Minato had interrupted upon his arrival. He appeared beside his own bed, hearing the familiar sound as he disturbed the air with his appearance, and began unpacking so he could get his stained clothes washed. After a quick change to more comfortable clothes and his used clothes dumped inside the washing machine, he jogged down the stairs to his kitchen to see if they had left any edible food before their mission. But as he checked the date stamped on the milk bottle and tried to count how many days it had been expired, he felt two familiar chakras from the porch, none of them Kushina's and how could it be anyway, when she was still at the border -

"Sensei?" he heard from the porch.

"Hello, you two," he called back, placed the likely sour milk back inside the fridge – he could get rid of it later – and grabbed a bottle of iced tea instead before he headed to the porch. "What're you doing here?"

He sat down on a porch chair and stared a little surprised at the scrolls Obito and Rin had rolled out in front of them on the wooden floor.

"All the training fields are occupied," Obito explained. "And you live in such a calm street we thought we could use your porch to study."

"Hope that's all right," Rin smiled.

"Of course," Minato said and tried to read the upside-down text on the scrolls. "Advanced taijutsu, huh?"

Obito nodded, reading the text and looking as though he had difficulties understanding the words on the yellowing paper.

"We decided we could do some studying on our own," Rin said, glancing tentatively on Minato. "You know, just to see if there was anything ..."

"That's good," Minato said, feeling somewhat impressed and proud of his chuunin. "Experimenting is the best way to find suitable techniques and styles for yourself. Where's Kakashi, by the way?"

"Oh," Obito mumbled, as though he had forgotten about his team-mate and didn't like to be reminded of him. "He's on a new mission with some other jounin."

"I see," Minato said. "So, how did your mission go?"

"It was fine," Rin said. "We had no problem finding the border post, and the squad leader sent us on one mission, but we never met any enemies. We got home days ago."

"What about your mission?" Obito said, looking curiously up from the scroll he had given up on. "You had a pretty dangerous mission, right?"

"I had several, some of them less dangerous," Minato said, remembering one particularly calm day in a hot spring. "I was mainly trying to get information from Kumogakure, but I was discovered, so I had to get out. Didn't go as well as it could, but that happens."

"And?" Obito said expectantly, looking at him with big eyes. "What have you done all these days? Where did you go?"

"Hey, I can't tell you everything," Minato reminded them, but told them about the countries they had been in, and taught them especially of the Hot Water people's hospitality. He finished by telling them he had taken some smaller missions for the general to find several people, but found it best not to go into detail about those. Minato had later decided the best way to distract them from asking any more was to find some of the chocolate they had kept in one of the kitchen cabinets, and could relax as soon as it worked.

"I'm a bit thirsty, could I have something to drink?" Rin asked politely.

"Sure. Just keep away from the milk, I think it went bad." Minato turned to Obito and grinned. "So, you're twelve now, aren't you? I know it was two weeks ago, but we're still gonna have to celebrate that."

"Sorry, sensei, no time!" Obito exclaimed, pointing at the scrolls. "I have to train."

Minato chuckled. "You need one night off now and then, Obito."

"Oh," Obito said, shoulders falling a little, before his face slowly lit up again. "So, you're paying, right?"

It seemed Minato wasn't home for good this time, either. The border posts had gone through more skirmishes only when Minato was on his way back to Konoha, and he was shortly after his team had left visited by an ANBU, telling him to head to the Hokage's office immediately. There, he had spent an hour just hearing information, before he, general Hiromu, the third and the councillors went through a long list of missions, who to put on the cases and how to best approach the problems. Minato had left the office like he usually did – mentally preparing for his new missions, relaxing one last time and wondering if Kushina was home – when something hit him; even though he was on good speaking terms with the Hokage and the general, and he was somewhat acquainted with the councillors, why on Earth had he been invited to a meeting like this?

He had always had advice in case anyone needed it, but couldn't remember the last time the Hokage had asked him anything. In all formality, he was a regular jounin, like so many else, yet he had just spent the past few hours with some of Konoha's highest, planning long-term missions and solutions, and not just his own. In cases where jounin were invited to meetings, it was usually including all ounin. He had not been given any particular reason to be part of that meeting.

It was strange, but Minato decided it might be because he – and he wasn't going to feel modest about it – was intelligent and sharp enough to give the higher-ups a run for their money. Maybe the Hokage just thought the extra head made the whole meeting more efficient.

Kushina came home later that evening while Minato was sitting on the porch, trying to explain some of the complicated words Obito had found in a scroll about sharp, effective and painful hits, something Minato remembered Kushina had given him for his birthday the first year they were friends. She stuck her head out of the porch door to say hello, but let them go on without distractions and stayed at the kitchen for quite some time, trying to make a new dish out of things she had picked out from the local store. Obito didn't stay for dinner – he was in a hurry to get a training field for himself – so Minato and Kushina ate together, and even though it was filled with talking, where Kushina described how little she had done on the border and Minato told her about the meeting with the higher-ups, he couldn't help but notice something restrained on Kushina's face. As he came back from a shower, Kushina was still sitting by the kitchen table, staring out of the window.

"What're you thinking about?" Minato asked while checking if the green tea in the pot was still warm.

Kushina didn't reply, but kept glaring at the window. Minato could tell she wasn't observing something outside; her expression was distant.

"What's the matter?" he asked. Kushina was dragged out of what must have been very deep thoughts, and she looked surprised for a moment and only shook her head.

"Well –" she said, but interrupted herself with more thoughts. After a moment, she said, "All right, fine. Back at the border, I … I've just never seen you like that before."

Minato frowned. "Like what?"

Kushina raised an eyebrow. "How d'you think?"

"I'm sorry, Kushina, I'm not following."

"Are you serious?" Kushina said incredulously, giving him a look that made Minato take one step backwards. "You were completely different! You changed the moment the general handed you those papers, and –"

"Changed?" Minato interrupted. "How? As far as I know, I came back the same person."

"When you came back, yeah, but you were far from the same the moment you were given those papers."

Minato looked carefully at her for a moment. "Okay … Are you saying I've got a split personality disorder or something?"

"What? I never said you had split personalities."

"Just answer my question."

"Jeez, Minato!" Kushina exclaimed, making Minato flinch again. "You were completely different, you were cold and indifferent and even when Kousuke came up to you to speak to you, you didn't event take one look at him – you never checked up on anyone like you usually do when you're back for just a moment, you just headed out to kill some more and you barely glanced at those pictures before you decided which head to chop off first, and –" She went silent again, staring intently at the wall. "You scared me."

"… I did?" Minato said eventually. "I'm sorry, I didn't notice –"

"Of course you didn't notice," Kushina mumbled. "You never even looked at me when you came back from those missions."

There came no reply from Minato, who just stood staring back at her with a look mixed between confusion and guilt.

"I would never lie to you about how I feel," Kushina said.

Minato sighed and looked down on the floor. "I know you wouldn't, I just …"

"When you came back, you went back to normal, it seemed. I don't know what the deal was, but you changed. I've never seen that side of you before and I suddenly thought I didn't know you after all. I know you still care about everyone, I was just … scared."

Minato looked back up at her again, his expression nothing but guilty. "You know, Kousuke used to say I had a split personality disorder. I thought he was joking, and maybe he was, but maybe there was something in it."

"I never thought you were ill, Minato," Kushina said, and Minato could only smile at her for a moment.

"No … I guess my mindset changes whenever I go back to my old lifestyle," he said. "No one cared how I did my missions as long as they were accomplished, meaning I came back with a dead or beaten person. The rest was up to me." Minato hesitated, but decided to join Kushina by the table, sat down and tried to read the look on her face. "I never really thought I could scare people that way."

Kushina just shook her head. "It was more the way you shut yourself in once you were handed those papers with all those heads to hunt. I've always been able to tell how you're feeling or what you're thinking just by looking at you, but this time … I don't know, you just surprised me. I had no idea what you were thinking."

"Well, I don't exactly go light about it when I'm about to hunt people down."

Kushina raised an eyebrow at him again. "I know you don't, idiot. No one does. It's just that no matter how seriously anyone takes it, I've never seen anyone shuffle through so many pages and decide the order so quickly, and definitely not with that cold look you kept the whole time."

"So I really do look different?" Minato asked quietly.

"Look, Minato, I still trust you," Kushina said, glaring intently at his eyes. "But you scared me like that."

Minato nodded and swallowed. "I'm sorry."

Kushina sighed and grabbed his face. "Don't look so beaten, Minato, you're – oh, wait, since when did you get stubbles?"

If Minato hadn't just been shouted at, he'd do more than frown a little and allow a smile to play on the corners of his lips; the way Kushina sometimes got distracted was somewhat cute. "Yes?" he just said.

"Huh," Kushina said in mild interest, let go of his face and observed the barely visible, light stubbles.

"Kushina, I'm twenty."

"Yet I've never seen you shave."

"Uh, I guess since I never had to until recently …"

Kushina's lips broke into a grin. "Charming. You're growing up."

Minato decided not to argue on his newly developed stubbles, but said after a moment, "So you're not mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you," Kushina replied. "But I'd appreciate it if you could try not to shut everyone out like that. It's not really like you – not that I knew you during the war, but since we kind of grew up together, I know it wasn't like you before either."

"I'll try," Minato smiled and got up to get his tea, but stopped right before Kushina and stroked her chin gently. "I'll try to give you at least one kiss and tell you how much I love you every time I get back with a new head."

Kushina stuck her tongue out at him.

"Just get me a cup of tea."

Minato nodded and was about to turn to the kitchen bench, when he noticed something on the table next to Kushina and felt his heart sink. It was a large glass, with only an inch milk left.

"Please tell me you didn't take that from the fridge."

Minato's gonna have a bad time for not removing that milk from the fridge.