Hey guys another chapter in the such a short space of time :) My writing mojo is back :D Anyway we will now find out more about our main character here :) And we also know who Charlene's ex is :) Anyway I don't own any of the characters from Phantom but I do own Charlene as she is a character of my own creation :) Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, favourited and followed and let my story begin! :D

Heartache and Pain

Chapter eight: Start lives anew

Raoul's POV

I received a phone call from Erik which surprised me since the interview for the job at the rape counsellors office was only a few days ago; I still can't believe he even employed me to work at his offices simply because there have been so many unsavoury encounters between each other and it's usually due to the presence of Charlene. What had happened to Charlene to be mixing with Erik who is a rape counsellor? I can't imagine anyone harming someone like Charlene; I mean she is so caring and kind as well as clever and unique in so many ways. But why is Erik so protective of her? After getting the phone call telling me I got the job I was told by Erik himself that I am only to work in the offices and will not deal with Charlene's case under any circumstances unless instructed to do so by Erik himself. Does he think that Charlene would react badly to the news or does he want to keep her for himself as he has developed feelings for her? Well he won't have to be worried about my feelings for Charlene as another woman now holds my interest at the moment and that woman is Christine Daaé. I know she has connections with Charlene but I first asked her out when I saw her in the offices on my first day at work. I was so glad she said yes to me and I decided to start off slow unlike with the first date I did with Charlene; after dating Charlene it made me realise I started things a bit too fast and I think that might have freaked her out slightly or she just wasn't use to being in a relationship. I also didn't heed the fact she kept telling me it was her first proper relationship with a guy and she wanted me to take things slow with her. But if I did take things slow with her would the outcome be different? Would we still be together or would the relationship still have ended anyway? I didn't ask myself anymore questions as I sorted through the high pile of paperwork that had somehow formed on my desk even though it was only my first day at work. At least I had my date with Christine to look forward to that evening.

Charlene's POV

I found myself in a place I didn't recognise but I couldn't see anyone in sight. Where was everyone? Shouldn't there be people here? Most importantly where was Erik? Why wasn't he here with me? I then heard voices that sounded familiar to me but at first I wasn't sure why. I looked around trying to pinpoint the sound of the voices and I smiled when I recognised to whom the voices belonged to. I then saw two figures approaching me and I ran towards them with my arms wide open.

"You have grown so big and mature my dear but you will always be our little girl. We are sorry we couldn't be there for you when times were tough and when you were so alone. But there is someone there for you now and who cares about you very much." They both exclaimed. But what did they mean? Who cares about me that much? But before I could ask laughter surrounded me like a cage and the figures of my parents disappeared and all I could do was scream when I saw three familiar figures approach me with fire in their eyes...

When I woke up my scream echoed around the flat and I knew Erik would probably come bursting in wondering what was going on.

"Charlene! Are you ok? You screamed; are you in any danger?" Erik questioned quickly.

"Bad dream." Was my only reply. I so badly wanted someone to hold me but couldn't bring myself to ask Erik to do so.

"I'm going to get ready for the day. I'll be downstairs momentarily." I explained and I went straight towards the bathroom before Erik could ask any more questions and shut the door behind me. After changing into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt I went downstairs to see Erik preparing breakfast.

"What would you like to do today Charlene? I was wondering if you would like to talk about anything." Erik questioned curiously. I looked up at him and wondered if now was a good time to talk about me and my life before the rape. But how would he react? Would he hate me after finding out the truth about me and my disability or would he still care for me? Why am I even thinking he cares about me anyway? There is no way he would care for me after all that has happened in my life. The only thing that would happen is the fact he would want to know more facts about me; such as why I had those words carved into my arm on that fateful night, why no-one cared for me after my parents died, why social services didn't try to put me up for adoption. Well I ensured social services never found me when my parents died as I didn't want anyone else to look after me except close relatives but I had none so decided I would rather live on the streets and just look after myself then have some adoptive family look after me instead. I couldn't bring myself to live in a house full of strangers; but for some reason even though Erik and Nadir were strangers something was making me stay with them. I don't know what or who is making me stay but something deep down inside me is telling me I should stay with them and that I can trust them. But why can I trust them? I could have escaped and no-one would have to know about it; I could go back to living on the streets or I could live in my parent's house as I am old enough to live on my own. I don't know how I would afford to pay the bills but I would think of some way of living in the house my parents brought me up in without having to completely rely on benefits. But if I hid the truth from him any longer he would keep asking for more information about me until I told him so I decided now was the time to tell him. For some reason I had a little voice telling me I should tell him everything and for once I listened to it and so I sat and waited for Erik to be settled down in front of me before I told him everything.

"Alright I'll tell you some things about me." I replied quietly.

"If it gets too much for you I'll understand; I won't force you to tell me anything you don't want to tell me." Erik explained reassuringly.

"As you know I was scarred both physically and mentally that night but there is more to the mental scarring than you think." I began and I looked at Erik to see him watching me intently with a relaxed posture and expression about him.

"I lost my parents, best friends and close relatives all in one night when I was 13 to the three men who raped me that night. They were going to take me away that night you saved my life but I am unsure as to what purpose they wanted me for." I continued.

"Do you want to explain to me the significance of the words carved into your arm that night?" Erik questioned cautiously. I took a deep breath and decided to think about how to explain my disability to him. How could I make him understand my disability? Whenever I've mentioned it before people don't usually know what I am talking about and then I have to try and explain it in simplest terms but find myself unable to do so.

"The reason why the men carved those words into my arm is because I have a disability. I think they decided they needed everyone in the world to know; especially every man so no-one would ever love me for whom I truly am."

"I'm not trying to sound ignorant or anything but I can't honestly see you having any sort of disability. You look...well...I won't use the word normal because you won't appreciate that; but you look like you don't have any sort of disability." Erik explained matter of factly. Great another ignorant person in the world who doesn't have a clue about my disability.

"Actually I am mildly Autistic." I replied matter of factly.

"That's why they carved those words into your arms that night." He breathed with shock lacing his tone. I nodded and blinked when I felt the tears start to fall down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to bring back horrible memories for you. Why don't we talk about something else?" Erik explained tenderly whilst stroking my cheek gently to wipe the tears away.

"Actually I might take a nap for a while; I am feeling tired all of a sudden." I replied whilst trying to stifle a yawn. Without waiting for a reply I got up from the table and went up to my room. I guess all of those disturbed nights I have had have finally caught up with me. But why did I allow Erik to touch me like that? Am I beginning to trust him after all I have been through or is there something more going on? Before my head even touched the pillow I fell asleep with thoughts of Erik running through my head.

I don't know how long I had been asleep for exactly but I could faintly hear someone calling my name.

"Father is that you?" I questioned tiredly.

"It's me, Erik. Dinner's almost ready." He replied whilst nudging me awake gently with his hand. I got up and straightened out my clothes before proceeding to follow him downstairs. I can't believe I slept that long. How come I didn't have any bad dreams unlike before when I would relive the memories of that fateful night? Maybe I was finally healing from my ordeal or maybe I would be haunted by nightmares tonight when I go to sleep.

"Charlene are you ok? You've hardly touched your food." I heard Erik question.

"What are you thinking about?" Nadir added. What could my reply possibly be? I have a lot of things on my mind and couldn't possibly answer his question without giving him lots of answers in return. I mean I am thinking about my parents, I am also thinking about the lack of nightmares I experienced during my nap but most of all I am thinking about Erik. But I can't bring myself to reveal my possible feelings for Erik yet. I don't want to say anything about them in case they are just feelings of gratitude towards Erik for saving my life; also I have a feeling Erik might not even have the same feelings back towards me. I don't even know what love is and so I am not sure whether or not I am experiencing it quite yet. But how am I supposed to know what love really feels like? I mean there were times when I asked my mother what it felt like to be in love but even she couldn't explain it to me and she was already experiencing it and I know that because she married my father. I remember her reply was.

"Love isn't really a feeling you can explain but you know you are in love when you experience it. Listen to your heart and it will always guide you to the path of true love." But what did that mean? How can listening to your heart guide you to true love? Can your innermost feelings really tell you what you really want in life and whether or not you truly care about someone that much? So far however my heart seems to be sending mixed messages to me and I am unable to tell which feelings I should trust right now. I am also unable to tell whether or not I should really listen to my heart at all. Suddenly all these thoughts of my mother and love had made me lose my appetite and so I pushed my plate to one side.

"Charlene you haven't touched your dinner. Are you sure you're alright? You're not trying to starve yourself are you? I don't like seeing you hurt yourself like this. You know I..." Erik explained kindly before proceeding to stop midsentence; for some reason it took me a moment to realise he stopped mid-sentence. Was he going to reveal something he didn't want to reveal? Maybe he was going to reveal his true feelings for me? I shook my head to dispel the thoughts of Erik truly having feelings for me. No man could ever love me; not ever and I will never fall for another man again especially after what happened the last time I got into a relationship with a man. I then proceeded to try and eat something but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to eat anything.

"I think I'll turn in for the night. It seems I have lost my appetite." I explained and with that I left the room.

Erik's POV

After Charlene left the room I could think about what conspired in the past half an hour or so. I mean was I about to admit my feelings for this girl?

"Was it me or were you about to confess your feelings for this girl?" Nadir asked jokingly.

"Nadir what on earth are you talking about?" I questioned coldly.

"I mean if I wasn't mistaken I think you really have feelings for this girl. Why won't you admit your feelings for her?" Nadir explained matter of factly.

"Even if I do have feelings for this girl she would never love a disfigured monster like me." I replied angrily.

"How do you know? You should give the girl a chance. I mean from what you told me she has probably been ridiculed in her life too. It seems you have quite a lot in common; you just don't realise it yet." Nadir replied matter of factly. I considered his words then decided to try and compose as it might soothe the emotions I am experiencing right now. Even though my main earnings come from being a rape counsellor I also earn a bit of extra money from composing. I would usually form an entire music book of about 10 or 20 songs then get Nadir to send it to the publishers for me and I would sell them to famous music halls or a theatre which makes me a lot of money in return. But all of the melodies that flew through my head were not worth writing down at the moment. Where had my inspiration gone? Usually I have melodies in my head all the time but this time there was nothing there? I lean my head in my hands and sighed heavily. I guess composers suffer from some kind of writer's block now and again; just like authors do. After closing the lid on my piano I decided to turn in for the night hoping the inspiration might come to me during the night as that has occurred on several occasions before and I think I have written the best melodies after dreaming about them the night before. However, that night the only thoughts that filled my head were that of Charlene causing me to wake up panting heavily and wondering what the future may hold for me. I then somehow found myself sitting at my piano composing haunting nameless melodies that appeared in my dreams...