INTERLUDE
GOD COMPANION
"Y'know what, Saki-chan? I really like Masao-kun."
Murasaki looked up from the gathering of wild herbs she was collecting. "Mm?"
"Like, he's really… interesting, you know?" Shusuke was leaning against the trunk of his usual, nearby tree, his leg balanced on one knee. He had a long blade of grass in his mouth. "He's different. And it's kinda cute how frustrated he gets with me sometimes, you know?"
"Mm. I suppose," Murasaki replied. She picked a flower, inspected it, and tossed it away.
"And y'know what? I think I'm gonna tell him that, Saki-chan."
"Mm?" Murasaki bent down for another plant. "Tell him what?"
"All that stuff I just said."
"I don't think Masao-kun would appreciate that bit about him being frustrated," Murasaki replied.
"But it's cute," Shusuke said, almost whining. "An' besides, I don't do it on purpose… most of the time."
"Mm." Murasaki added to her bundle.
"Hey, Saki-chan?" Shusuke sat up.
"Mm?"
"You think Masao-kun would let me hold his hand if I told him all this?" he said.
"What for?"
"Well that's what people are supposed to do if they like each other, aren't they?"
Murasaki tilted her head slightly in place of a shrug. "If they're lovers, I suppose."
"Ew. Do I gotta tell him that? 'Cos I just really like him, Saki-chan. But, like… all that love stuff is kinda… gross."
"Well, if that's what you want," Murasaki said. She turned to look at him, and yawned. "Mmm… Children can't really be lovers, though."
"We're not kids, Saki-chan, we're thirteen."
"Mm. I suppose." She returned to her work.
Shusuke was supposed to be helping her gather ingredients for her family's tea shop. She didn't mind that he wasn't, however. She liked listening to him talk. And he liked talking to her, because she would listen.
And, lately, he'd been talking a lot about Masao. This was not the first time she had heard him talk about how much he liked Masao, and how he wanted to tell him sometime.
But, somehow, after their conversations were over and plans were made, Shusuke always seemed to miss his opportunities. Or just plain forget. He was just that kind of person, really.
She had known for a while that Shusuke was more than just fond of his teammate, despite what their behavior during their missions might have suggested. This was one of the first things she really learned about him, once they began spending time together outside of missions, when he'd come by her family's tea shop to pester her, and later invite her to his apartment for lunch with his mother.
Shusuke liked boys, apparently. The topic came up during a discussion on romance while they were gardening. And by that, of course, it meant that Shusuke was hunting for slugs and Murasaki was pruning, which worked just as well.
"I mean, girls are okay, I guess, but I just… really like guys more!" was how he had explained it. "I mean, I wouldn't wanna kiss a girl, that's just gross—no offense, Saki-chan—but a guy…" He had to pause, rethinking. "…yeah, okay, all kisses are gross, but if I had to choose, like, if I were forced into it, I wouldn't mind it if it were from a guy, is what I mean to say. Is that weird?"
"I don't think so," Murasaki had replied. "I'm not terribly interested in boys myself, but I'm supposed to be, I think. Though you're not at all bad, Shusuke-kun."
This made Shusuke very happy, and opened him up significantly. And he was already very open, so that was saying a lot.
His preferences soon developed names. Random classmates that caught his eyes, at first, but increasingly Masao.
It amused and confused Murasaki, why this attraction was present. But opposites did attract, just like how a sweet tea with a bitter custard cake made them both taste better. So she was content to watch Shusuke's fizzled attempts at connection and his bright teasing while on missions, and mediating between the two boys so that things never got overly sour.
And then another thing arose that confused her: Shusuke's sudden determination, following his success in the chuunin exam preliminaries. Murasaki and Masao had both fallen through, in the preliminaries, which Shusuke waved over Masao's head at every opportunity.
"I'm gonna do it, Saki-chan," Shusuke declared.
"Hm? Do what?"
"Gonna finally tell Masao. This is the moment. After the chuunin exam tournament. I'm gonna win the heck outta that thing, and then, when Masao has to go up and congratulate me, I'm… I'm gonna tell him!" Shusuke's smile burned like magnesium. "And maybe I'll give him a kiss too, just to see the look on his face."
Murasaki smiled, gently. "Is this your 'right moment' then?"
"Oh yeah. Totally. It'll be awesome."
"Mm. That sounds quite lovely," Murasaki replied.
She fully expected him to forget about it by the time they next talked. But, to her surprise, and to some extent, delight, he kept working at the plan.
He gushed about his training. "So I can get up to a super high rank! It's not nearly so impressive if I'm just in the lower tier. I'm no loser."
He worked on a script. "Do I do something long? Or do I just, like, go up to him and tell him I like him?"
He tortured himself over the final act. "Augh, what if a kiss would ruin it?! Should I just hug him instead? Hugs are good, right?"
All the while, Murasaki just did her work, and nodded, and offered advice where she could.
She never expected to be left with the plan, half-finished and unsure.
Shusuke never got to speak a word of it, if he had even wanted to speak a word.
This was what haunted her.
Not the way that his spine had twisted and snapped over the Uchiha girl's knee.
Not the sea of his blood that remained on the arena long after he had been carried away.
Not the look of brokenness on Naruto-sensei's face when he came to tell her and Masao that he was gone.
What haunted her was that his plan was now hers to own, and she had no idea what to do with it.
She wanted to ask Shusuke, but Shusuke was not there. He was gone.
But he couldn't be. Shusuke couldn't be gone, not entirely.
It was impossible that the warm, star-bright boy no longer truly existed.
He had loved too much and too strongly to have just disappeared without a trace.
His plan still lived within her. His love, and his words, those were alive.
She mused over this often while picking tea ingredients, feeling the space where he should have been, by the tree.
He couldn't be entirely gone.
The solution came from her grandmother. Her parents had asked the old widow to accompany Murasaki to Shusuke's grave, so she could learn grave-cleaning rituals, how to pray, and light incense. Murasaki's grandfather had passed away long before she was born, during one of the wars, and his wife was experienced in keeping his resting place cared for.
"Lighting incense ensures that our prayers are carried along to the Will of Fire," her grandmother explained, bowing her head as she struck a match.
"The Will of Fire?" Murasaki replied.
Her grandmother blew out the match. "It's a great spiritual river, a path that connects us to those that have left us."
"A path that connects us..." Murasaki's voice became very soft.
Her grandmother nodded again, and began lighting the incense. "Those that die never really leave us, Murasaki. Their love for us continues to touch us and those around us through the Will of Fire. Their skills, their ideas, their thoughts, they are passed on too, from person to person, generation to generation."
Shusuke's plans still lived within her. Excitement and the spicy scent of the incense began warming her heart.
But surely that wasn't all that remained of him?
"Can people… actually speak to the Will of Fire?" Murasaki said.
"Perhaps some can. I know that many meditate to gain the wisdom of the Will," her grandmother replied. "Now, take this stick and put it in the pot, there. And once you're done, clap your hands and say a prayer for Shusuke-kun. The smoke will carry it to him."
Murasaki clasped her hands together, and prayed, fervently.
"I'm going to find you, Shusuke-kun," she murmured. "So you can tell me what to do."
From that day forward, Murasaki was on a mission.
She was going to find the Will of Fire, and communicate with it herself.
So Shusuke could talk to her again.
So she herself could be at peace.
In between missions—and there weren't nearly as many as there used to be, not with the state that Naruto-sensei was in, not with a teammate missing—she lived in the library, reading religious texts on the Will of Fire, spending hours deciphering scrolls full of theory and philosophy. She went on day trips with her grandmother to temples in the countryside of the Land of Fire, and spoke extensively with the monks and nuns there.
Most of them were amused, though sadly-so, with her little obsession. And many gave her soft, half-answers: The Will of Fire lives within all of us, the Will of Fire is present in our skills and nothing more, there is nothing that the Will can tell you that you cannot find out for yourself, little girl.
But there was.
It was an old master that finally gave her something true. She brushed aside the other nuns, who were beginning to tire of Murasaki's endless questions, and knelt down to eye level with the girl.
"Young child," she said, "if you truly desire to make contact with the Will itself, then you must be willing to empty your body entirely, to rid yourself of everything inside of you, to remove your very soul. Only then may you become a vessel through which the Will of Fire may flow. Only then may you truly communicate with it, if that is what you desire."
"And how do I do that?" Murasaki replied.
"That is something you must find out for yourself, young one. To remove one's self requires deep meditation and contemplation," the master replied. "I must warn you, however. Many have trained for years to achieve this level of enlightenment, and many have given up."
Murasaki bowed, deeply. "Thank you, master. This helps me greatly."
The old master nodded her head, in return. "I wish you luck, child."
The encounter left many of the nuns in the abbey confused. The child's questions were naïve and immature—why would their leader give her so much time, and so many answers?
But the great old woman with the bone-dry fingers would say nothing on the matter, and told her disciples to return to their studies and meditations.
Murasaki went home jewel-eyed and breathless, and rushed to the library the next day to devour every book on meditation that she could find.
She had to learn how to empty herself, so she would.
For Shusuke's sake.
Once she got the hang of this, she meditated for hours on end, every day. Usually when her parents thought she was sleeping, or when she claimed she was out gathering ingredients. She would meditate under Shusuke's tree, in those instances, gathering enough for an excuse afterwards.
Cross-legged, her hands folded in her lap, she would concentrate, focusing only on the sound of her own breathing, blocking out all other sounds and sensations until they had disappeared. If the wind blew, she was not aware of it. If it began raining, she did know it. If her legs began to cramp up, she did not feel it.
(The first time she ended her meditation to find herself in a downpour filled her with such joy that she skipped all the way home, completely forgetting her errand-alibi.)
The only things that could break her concentration were her parents, rousing her on the shoulders to get her attention.
Or hunger.
Hunger would go next.
She began going without meals in the afternoons, to give herself a head start. And when the pangs of hunger and thirst began scratching at the comforting emptiness she had managed to wrap herself in, she absorbed it, making it as insignificant and nonexistent as every other sensation in and around her body.
This took time. But she was disciplined.
Her fasting continued. She survived on water and broth, and polite, excused absences at dinner.
Her parents began to notice her soft face growing thinner, and shadows appearing under her eyes. They wondered if it was, perhaps, due to her grief—but that seemed unusual, because Murasaki had never seemed so peaceful in her life. And she had always been a sleepy, serene child.
The first time she collapsed was in the kitchen, when she was helping her mother to clean dishes. Her limbs were trembling with weakness, and a plate fell out of her hands and into the sink before her knees gave out. She smacked her head against the floor, hard. Her parents rushed her to the hospital.
She was put on an IV, because she was dehydrated and malnourished. When they asked her why she had allowed herself to fall into such a state, Murasaki just smiled.
"I'm training," she replied, "and I haven't felt much like eating these days."
"If you don't take care of your body, you can't train," was the given advice. "Eat regular meals a day, and get plenty of liquids and sleep."
Murasaki used the pain in her head as a focus point for her meditation, during her brief stay in the hospital. Erasing it, removing it, dissolving it into nothing.
And when she was not meditating, she was thinking.
She supposed the doctors were right. If she allowed her body to weaken and fall into disarray, then how was she expected to touch the Will?
She had to keep her body strong. She supposed that erasing hunger was proof enough that she was getting somewhere, anyways.
But she had to go further. She hadn't made it, yet. Otherwise, she would have heard Shusuke.
Winter was approaching. Neither she nor Masao had any interest in that season's chuunin exams, and Naruto-sensei didn't press the issue.
This gave her more time to train.
There was a waterfall, in one of Konoha's many nature reserves-slash-training grounds. The water would not likely freeze over there.
A waterfall was surely a greater force to erase than a light, fall rain.
Every day that she could manage, Murasaki made her way over the reserve, stripped to her underwear, and sat under the waterfall until she could no longer feel it. She was never really quite aware of how long she remained under. She would only break from her concentration when her head began to lean forward too much, and she would tumble into the river below from the loss of balance.
This worked, for a time. She would return home with her long hair pulled into braids and buns, and she would eat well and sleep well. And her parents were delighted to see the color and shape returning to her face.
Somewhat.
Her body was still weakened, and thin. And the water and the winter air were very, very cold.
The second time she collapsed was on the way home from an errand for her parents. The vegetables in her grocery bag scattered and rolled into a snowdrift, and she lay on her stomach in the middle of a quiet street for a good long while before someone found her.
She was not cold, but very, very hot, and she breathed like she was running for her life.
Once again, she was put in the hospital. She had a dangerously high fever, and despite medicine and rest, it only worsened.
In her bed, Murasaki's vision blurred and twinkled. Patches of yellow and paler yellow and flesh passed in front of her, black and brown, and white, white, white.
She gasped for air like she was drowning in sea of flame.
A halo of heat circled her head.
In her delirium, she wondered if this was what enlightenment felt like.
For she felt light.
She felt people laying hands on her hands.
A rough hand on her left, warm and solid.
The other, on her right, burned immaterially, like hot, hollow glass.
She closed her eyes, and even the darkness burned.
It became harder and harder to feel things. She could no longer open her eyes. Her heartbeat and the lava-rumble of the blood rushing through the vessels in her ears were the only sounds, for a while.
Then, nothing.
Involuntary meditation.
Her very soul was incinerating.
But this did not worry her, as she gulped in the cold air, swallowing it in great, tortured mouthfuls.
Golden words swam through the increasing nothingness.
To feel the Will, she had to empty herself.
She would let the fire burn until nothing was left.
For Shusuke.
She felt her soul rising up through her throat, into her mouth, her nostrils, with a hard, iron scent. Her head sank back into the pillow with its weight.
When, suddenly, she could feel again.
A hand, thin and dry, like paper, like wood, like bone, pressed against her mouth with its fingertips. Its long nails brushed her lips.
This isn't what she meant when she told you to empty yourself, dear.
Her breath slowed. The voice echoed and flowed, like whirlpool-waves, circling her mind.
A soul is a terrible thing to waste.
Murasaki's mouth opened and closed in mushy, fish-movements.
The fiery-glass hand on her right increased its grip.
We must be quick if we are to save you. You will not return undamaged, nor unrewarded.
Murasaki's throat began to tighten. The warm-solid hand on her left tightened also.
Your life will be full of hardships, dear. But you mustn't be afraid.
Murasaki found her voice in the void. "I'm not afraid… I'm not afraid…" she moaned. She felt her lips brush against the fingers, the nails.
Be brave, Kamitsure, God Companion. We now walk with you.
And she felt the fingers move from her lips to her ears, and they traced the curve of the cartilage all the way down to her earlobes, and across her forehead to the other ear, like a crown.
The path burned on her skin for a moment, before fading into the emptiness, like everything else.
The hand of fire released its grip. Her wrist ached in the comfort of its disappearance.
Slowly, like light leaking through a window at sunrise, other sensations began to bleed through.
She heard a voice.
Saki-chan, please, please, don't, it's no better over here, I swear, it's lonely and I don't want you here, not yet, Saki-chan, please don't die!
It was a voice she never thought she'd hear again.
"Shusuke…?"
Her head felt very heavy. She struggled to move it, to hear where he was.
"Shusuke, is that really you…?"
Saki-chan, no, no, please, hold on, don't die!
"I'm fine, Shusuke… I'm okay… I'm not going to die…" She managed a smile, if she could call it that. She wondered if he could even see it.
Wait, can she… can you hear me? Saki-chan?
"I can hear you, Shusuke… I can finally hear you… It's okay now…"
Her eyes managed to creak open.
She saw Naruto-sensei to her left, holding her hand. He was saying something, but she could not really hear him, his words muffled and very quiet, as if he were far away, and underwater. Masao was with him. He had been crying, and his face was tight and outlined with red.
"Naruto-sensei, I can hear him… I can hear Shusuke… He's okay…"
She tried smiling for him too, but her head sank back into her pillow, and a cool, welcoming darkness.
Her fever broke, that evening. And by the next day she was well enough to sit up and eat.
But a curious thing seemed to have happened to her hearing.
Whenever anyone tried to speak to her, they made noises, but they weren't at all interpretable, reduced to vowels and jelly-consonants. Of course, Murasaki could understand herself perfectly fine, so she spoke and informed them of this.
Shusuke, however, was perfectly clear. Once he was certain that Murasaki could hear him, he made no small effort in talking to her as much as he could.
She informed them of this, as well, far more joyfully.
They began testing her, after that.
Hearing tests, with machines.
(Her hearing was otherwise perfectly fine.)
Mental evaluation.
(Her inability to understand human speech was almost certainly a mental condition.)
Talks with psychologists.
(Brain damage from the fever, possibly. But they wanted to see if it was psychological before they did any invasive tests on that end.)
They tried communicating with her through a notepad, until Shusuke came up with the idea to interpret for her.
She asked you if I've ever talked to you before this. Uh, duh, no I've been trying to talk to you forever, so of course you haven't.
"…no, he only appeared after I started getting better. We've been talking a lot, lately," Murasaki replied, once he was finished.
She seemed to be improving, so they prescribed further visits with a therapist and a temporary ban on training and missions, and sent her home.
This gave her more time to talk to Shusuke.
(The doctors dismissed this as a temporary coping mechanism, figuring it would be worked out of her with her therapist.)
They talked about many things. She usually went to their tree for privacy, since she figured it looked rather odd for her parents to see her talking to someone that nobody could see.
Shusuke, she was pleased to learn, was doing fine. He was terribly lonely, however, in the foggy somewhere he seemed to have ended up in.
Most people are just, like, dark figures that you don't really see unless you get super close. But you an' my mom and Naruto-sensei and Masao-kun are normal-lookin'. And all the buildings are clear as day, Saki-chan, only, there are a lot that I don't remember ever bein' there. It's weird.
He also talked a fair bit about the people he had met on the other side. Nobody famous, really.
Though there's this really cool-looking blue guy that I see every now and then. I'm sorta too scared to talk to him, though. He hangs out with some tough-looking guys around the Uchihas' place.
He also gossiped, a fair bit. And in most ways, it was almost as if nothing had changed. He simply didn't have a body any more.
Murasaki found herself surprised at her reluctance in bringing up the plan, considering that she had undergone all these trials for it, in the first place.
But, eventually, she got around to it.
"Shusuke-kun, do you want Masao-kun to know that you liked him?"
Shusuke's silence in return was worrisome.
But, Murasaki waited. And, eventually, he spoke.
…y'know what, I sorta wanted to? I mean, for a while after it happened, I sorta thought that it was keepin' me here or something? I dunno how these things work. But… I sorta don't regret it that much, that I never got to tell him. 'specially now with me gone an' all. I don't want Masao-kun havin' to keep living with that, knowing that I'll never get to be with him or anything, if he actually felt anything for me back. It'll get in the way of him actually moving on, I think. I really want him to be happy, you know? He sure could use some happiness. Kid's got such a stick up his butt…
Shusuke asked Murasaki why she was crying, after that.
"It's because I'm relieved," Murasaki replied. "I didn't want to ruin that for you."
I'm really glad you're my friend, Saki-chan. I'm givin' you a hug right now. You probably can't feel it, though.
A chill ran up Murasaki's spine, and her chest seized up. That was enough for her.
Though Shusuke was not without requests entirely.
Can you go tell Nadeshiko-chan that I'm sorry?
"Mm?" Murasaki was grinding tea leaves in the back of her family's shop.
Uchiha Nadeshiko-chan. You know, the girl that, um… fought me.
Murasaki paused. "Why do you want to… apologize to her?"
She was not bothered by the girl, but Shusuke's request still struck her as strange.
Because she's really hurting, Saki-chan, like, you have no idea. Like, she didn't know she was going to actually hurt me so bad, for one. She feels so bad that she quit being a ninja, just like that! And her dad threw her out of the house, too!
"She was thrown out of her house…?" Murasaki said. "But where is she now?"
With her grandpa. I tried to find her one day. She's all bright for me, like you are. She was easy to find.
"I'll see what I can do," Murasaki replied.
Though when she went to visit Nadeshiko herself, finding her at the Yamanaka flower shop when the family compound bore no fruit, things did not go well.
"…is Nadeshiko-chan in?" Murasaki asked the old, blond owner of the place.
He says that she's working in the back.
"…may I speak to her, please?"
He asked why.
"…I just have a message to pass onto her, it won't take very long."
He just called her out, Shusuke said, even though Murasaki could see that plainly. Shusuke still spoke too much about things.
What Murasaki noticed again, like she had noticed when Nadeshiko had first gone out onto the field against Shusuke, was how very small she was. She had little hands and barely came up to Murasaki's shoulder. Nadeshiko bent her head lowly in looking back at them, as if hiding her face and body behind her waist-length hair.
"…Nadeshiko-chan?" Murasaki said.
She asked what you want.
"…my name is Kamitsure Murasaki, I'm a friend of Kugi Shusuke-kun's. He wants me to tell you something."
Nadeshiko's big eyes narrowed.
What is it?
"…he just wanted to apologize for all the pain he's caused you. He didn't mean for your father to yell at you like that and throw you out of your house. He's very sorry."
Nadeshiko's hands rose up to her chest, clinging to each other tightly.
"…if there is anything we can do for you to help…"
Uh, Saki-chan, the shop guy's asking us to leave…
"…I'm very sorry," Murasaki said, and she left.
I get the feeling that, uh, not a lot of people know that that happened…
"Poor girl," Murasaki replied.
They kept running into each other, and each time, Murasaki tried to do a better job.
At the graveyard, where Murasaki was cleaning Shusuke's grave—him chattering along fairly cheerfully, all things considered, as she worked—Nadeshiko showed up with a small handful of marigolds, though she left just as quickly, once she saw that Murasaki was there.
She returned, however, Shusuke was quick to inform.
She's talking to me, he said, out of the blue, a while later. I can tell. It's weird, it's like someone sneezing when you're talking about them, only with… prayers and stuff, I guess. Being a ghost is kinda weird sometimes, Saki-chan.
The graveyard visits provided more than just awkward encounters with Nadeshiko, however.
It was there that Murasaki discovered that she was starting to hear more than just Shusuke. Faint murmurs, at first, but soon she was able to hear full conversations as spirits passed by. There were certain places where they were loudest: the graveyard, where Shusuke said the "sad sacks" hung out, but also a few, seemingly-random neighborhoods, and the area near the Uchiha family grounds, where Murasaki frequently took walks, due to its otherwise-silence.
D'you wanna see if I can get someone to talk to you?
Shusuke began to have daydreams about what Murasaki could do with this ability, if it was as developed as he thought it was becoming.
Living people always wanna, like, talk to the dead, right? Maybe it works the other way around, too?
"I suppose it's worth a try," Murasaki replied.
While she slept, Shusuke began rumormonging. He didn't dare leave her side during the day; she needed him to understand people, and her studies in reading lips were slow-coming.
Ghosts didn't sleep, he informed her. There wasn't really anything resembling day or night, with everything remaining the same, uniform gray.
Most people didn't believe him, the older folks informing him that there were plenty of crackpots out there that got it all wrong, and that he was an utter fool to fall for it as a ghost himself. Others thought there could only be trouble in meddling with the living world, and that it would only bring discomfort, to pass messages on. Others still simply looked at Shusuke, sadly, knowingly, and shook their heads, saying nothing.
However, Shusuke did find one person.
He had been a Hyuuga, a man named Tomoshi, with a gentle, cultured way of speaking. He'd died of illness while his wife was pregnant with their son, and he wanted very badly to let them know that he was still okay, in the years that had passed.
Murasaki could practically hear the grin on his face once she'd proven to him that she could really hear him.
Things got a little bumpy, after that.
"The last time I tried carrying on a message to a living person, things didn't go terribly well, Tomoshi-san," Murasaki explained. The three of them had gathered in her room, and she was sitting, cross-legged, imagining it as something like a child's tea party with her stuffed animals. "So even if I were to go to your wife, what could I do to prove that it's really you there?"
I'm rather without an idea, Tomoshi replied. But we'll think of something. I don't care how long it takes, really.
The idea, eventually, came from Shusuke.
Maybe he could, like, possess you?
How on earth would I be able to do that? Tomoshi replied. He'd taken to following them around lately, when he was not at the Hyuuga compound, watching over his family.
I 'unno. You could go through, like, Saki-chan's nails or mouth or belly button I guess? Like how fox spirits do in the stories.
That sounds thoroughly ridiculous.
"Wait," Murasaki said. "Perhaps there is a way."
There was something that the master had told her, months ago. And perhaps it hadn't been what she'd had in mind, but it inspired Murasaki all the same.
She had to empty herself to become a vessel for the Will of Fire.
Suppose she could empty herself and become a vessel for Tomoshi's will?
It's worth a shot, I suppose, Tomoshi replied.
That sounds awesome, let's totally do it! Shusuke said.
The experiments began shortly afterward.
Murasaki took to meditation again. Though her focus was different, this time. Not only was she trying to shut out everything outside of her, she was trying to shut out everything inside of her, as well.
And once she had reached that state?
What do I do, just… step inside of you, or something like that? That seems rather awkward.
"You could try taking my hand," Murasaki offered. "I'll leave my palm open for you."
Well that seems a fair bit more proper, doesn't it.
The first few attempts were useless. And Murasaki grew frustrated, which rarely happened to her.
"Tell me when you have your hand in my hand," she said, one afternoon. "I'll see if I can feel a difference, and work with it."
All right, Murasaki-san.
She focused all of her concentration on that little hand.
And suddenly, she felt it. A blue lightness, like milk or liquid soap, pressing on the tips of her fingers, the palm of her hand, glowing in the void she was trying to produce.
She pulled on it. And she felt her very consciousness ache against it, resisting, rejecting the intrusion of another soul.
But she could empty her soul.
She could become a vessel.
The last thing she remembered was Tomoshi saying, Good heavens, what is going on?
She woke up at the bottom of the stairs, feeling unusually tired-out.
Murasaki-san, I do believe we have found our solution!
Now that's what I call a possession! Shusuke whooped from nearby. Tomoshi-san, you really booked it!
Murasaki smiled breathlessly, sitting down on the steps and propping herself up on her elbows.
She had a feeling she'd be able to do something great with this.
The possession training commenced.
Every day, she would practice with Tomoshi and Shusuke, taking them into her body and giving them short activities to do.
One of the disadvantages of the possession technique, she discovered, was that she was entirely unaware of what the guest soul was doing in her body. To see how much she was capable of, she would tell them to do things like take an object from one room to another, and looking to see if it had really been moved while she was out, afterwards.
Each attempt was more daring than the last. Though sometimes she would run out of stamina and wake up halfway through, disoriented and tired for a while, until she remembered what she'd ordered Tomoshi or Shusuke to do.
Practice began to reduce this occurrence.
Spring was on the approach.
Shusuke began looking forward to the chuunin exam.
You should totally give it another try, Saki-chan. I mean, things are okay now, you know? Plus I bet you and Tomoshi-san could totally bust some dudes up if you teamed up. Tomoshi's a wicked fighter I bet.
Oh, I wasn't really that special. I preferred the library to the battlefield, really.
Murasaki was hesitant. But she couldn't deny that she was curious as to the extent of her technique in regards to combat.
So she and Tomoshi trained for it.
Shusuke, meanwhile, went out recruiting again. He felt he had more evidence for their case.
He at least got a few more interested parties: a few adults of varying ages, and one old-ish guy that seemed to be more interested in Murasaki than her technique.
None of them really wanted to try it out for themselves, yet. But they were willing to see how Murasaki did during the chuunin exams before allowing her to take them in for whatever they wanted to do.
"I won't do anything illegal or mean, though," Murasaki was quick to add. "I trust you all to be responsible."
Trust us, sweetheart, we won't make you steal even a kiss, the old-ish guy replied.
Naruto-sensei was a bit surprised when Murasaki announced her intention to participate in the chuunin exams, despite him not training with her at all over the past year.
"…I've been working at some new things on the side, Naruto-sensei," Murasaki replied. "Please put your trust in me. I will do well."
Masao had declined, earlier. He was doing well by volunteering and doing missions independently for the academy as a gopher of sorts, and making a name for himself in that way. A career as a chuunin wasn't in his immediate interests.
He says he'll get you in, Shusuke said, and Murasaki smiled.
The first section of the exam was laughably easy. Shusuke and Tomoshi drifted around the room and gave her answers. She never had to lift her eyes from the paper.
The Forest of Death was a wee bit trickier, but with Tomoshi and Shusuke to scout ahead, and Tomoshi's Gentle Fist in case she had to fight anyone—she had trained herself to induce a possession in record timing, and could remain possessed for up to ten minutes—she was more than prepared.
It's weird, but this place isn't foggy at all, Shusuke remarked. All the trees are glowing. Neat.
Murasaki promised Shusuke that he'd be allowed to fight in the preliminary, but her name was never called.
It's all right, you can let me have some fun on our first chuunin mission out together, Shusuke replied, when she apologized for this.
The summer of training began.
By the time of the tournament, Murasaki had extended her period of possession to almost a half an hour. She and Tomoshi were beginning to plan how he'd announce himself to his wife, as well.
Well, you using Gentle Fist will certainly get her attention. And once I see her after the tournament ends—I'll point her out to you—you can let me take over. I'll be able to convince her I am who I am, and say my piece, and that will be that.
"I hope it goes that smoothly, Tomoshi-san," Murasaki replied.
It didn't.
The fight went, more or less, as planned. Tomoshi possessed her and won, or so she assumed, since their opponent was knocked out when she came to.
However, she was pulled aside by an ANBU after the match, who said that the Hokage had some questions for her.
"…oh, of course," Murasaki said. Whatever questions Naruto-sensei had for her, she was certain that he would understand the answers.
She did not expect the small gathering of Hyuuga that were with him, in the service tunnel down the stairs.
A harsh-looking woman stood at the center. She wore a black kimono and had her hair pulled into a simple, severe knot. She spoke quickly.
She's asking you to explain yourself, Saki-chan. She wants to know how you know Gentle Fist.
"…because I have the assistance of a Hyuuga with me," Murasaki replied. "He guided my hand."
She's asking who taught you.
That's my wife, Murasaki-san, Tomoshi said. He sounded almost sad.
"Which one's your wife?" Murasaki replied, the words slipping out of her.
Saki-chan, she's getting angry…
"…my apologies, my apologies… A man named Tomoshi is with me, he just told me that, mm, one of you is his wife?"
The hard woman's face flared. Her mouth opened and closed in barely-discernible movements.
Uh, Saki-chan, she's asking you to explain yourself…
"…well, ma'am, I have a connection to the Will of Fire, I hear it, and it flows within me, so it was not me that was fighting just now, but him…"
A bark-like movement of the mouth.
Saki-chan, she just called you something seriously rude.
Hanabi, please, don't be this way, Tomoshi said, quietly.
Naruto-sensei was saying something, now. The other woman in the group, a far-softer-looking creature, was holding a floppy-headed toddler in her arms. She was bouncing the child, whispering something to it.
"…Hanabi? Is your wife's name Hanabi?" Murasaki asked.
Yes, and that's my son, over there, with my sister-in-law. His name is Andou.
"…Andou… What a sweet name, Tomoshi-san, you must be so proud of him…"
The woman named Hanabi was apparently shouting, though Murasaki could not hear.
Saki-chan, uh, I think you should probably stop, she's getting really angry and telling you to shut up…
"...Tomoshi-san, I'm so sorry," Murasaki said. "I had hoped that this wouldn't turn out so badly."
Murasaki didn't say anything, after that, because Hanabi had scratched her across the cheek with her nails. The Hyuuga men with her restrained her after that, and Naruto-sensei hurried Murasaki away, and Shusuke passed on the fact that he wanted to know what had just happened.
"…I only told the truth, Naruto-sensei," she replied. "This is the technique I was working on. I hear the Will of Fire. It flows through me now."
Naruto-sensei smiled a very uncomfortable smile after that.
He said we should get that scratch on your cheek healed up, Saki-chan. He wants to take you to the hospital.
"…I suppose that's fair," Murasaki replied. "All right, let's go, then."
They did more than just heal her cheek, after that.
There were more tests. Many more tests.
She spoke to the therapists again. And the therapists passed her around amongst themselves.
She had her brain scanned and prodded by medics and mind-readers alike.
One afternoon, they had a hypnosis session. Or at least, that was what they said they were going to do.
When they asked to speak to Shusuke, she allowed him to possess her, and let him speak. Others spoke, too, when they asked if there were others inside of her.
"…they're not inside me all the time," she replied. "I merely allow them to enter."
Of course, she didn't know exactly what was said while she was possessed.
But her parents came to her after a while away with an orange plastic bottle of pills, and explained that they were going to make her better.
They said you got audio-tory hallucinations an' trauma-induced dis-social-something identity disorder. Whatever the heck that means, Shusuke elaborated, once they had gotten home. They think it's cos you're still sad about me dying and everything. I guess telling the truth isn't really helping us much, huh.
"No, I suppose not," Murasaki replied.
She took the medicine they had given her, anyways. Her parents said that it would make the voices she heard disappear, so that she would feel normal again. But Shusuke's voice never left her, nor Tomoshi's, nor any of the others.
She hadn't expected them to. She knew she wasn't sick.
She lied about hearing them, though, whenever she went to visit her therapist. For a while, anyways.
But she eventually stopped going, because there was less and less to talk about over those visits, beyond if the medicine was working.
Murasaki had to admit that the pills made her feel… different. Her head and body felt lighter, hollow from a fever that didn't exist. She also felt very, very sleepy, and would spend many more hours in bed than before.
This worried Shusuke, because, even though he knew Murasaki to be a lover of sleep, this felt excessive.
"There's nothing wrong with me, Shusuke-kun, don't worry…" Murasaki said, digging her head further into her down pillow.
He told her to stop taking the medicine after a year.
You're not sick, you don't need to fake that you are so they'll leave you alone, okay? Besides, it's just making you sick in a different way…
"Mm, all right…"
Her parents noticed, and pleaded with her to start taking the pills again. But Murasaki replied that she felt better without them, and eventually the issue was dropped. They still encouraged her to speak to her therapist from time to time, but Murasaki never did.
Even with the medicine gone, with her head regaining its clarity, Murasaki no longer spent her days practicing possession. She lost her motivation to give another try at the chuunin exams, instead wandering about town to listen to the conversations of those around her, that other people would never hear.
(The people at the hospital had banned her from missions until she was mentally healthy, anyways.)
(Which meant indefinitely.)
She talked at length with those who needed someone to listen. She began living in the library again, reading over history books, exploring long-built-over areas of the city and asking the people there about their take on things.
And things might have been all right, for a while, if they had stayed this way.
But then Murasaki met the Uchiha family.
The deceased branch.
In the years that passed, in his miserable excuse for an existence, Shusuke would rue the day Uchiha Mikoto reached out to his best friend, asking her for a favor.