"What the hell are you doing?" Shepard's voice almost made him jump out of his skin.
He had been reading the logs and must have dozed off on the couch. He had wanted to crawl back into the bed but had restrained himself lest he wake her from the best rest she had probably gotten since leaving Earth. More than once she had cried out in her sleep or thrashed enough to convince him it was probably for the best at the moment if he didn't. They would have to talk about options later.
"Looks like catching forty. " Straightening his neck he was surprised to see it was 1100. He had slept later then he had thought and EDI had not messaged him.
"Yea but why there?" She seemed genuinely confused, pointing to the couch as if the events of last night hadn't sunk in.
"You were pretty adamant about it actually. Maybe you thought the idea of having me next to you would be too much for you to stand."
"And here I was hoping we had mutually wore each other out."
"If that were the case I would like to think you at least remember it in the morning." He feigned insult but he could tell just from her teasing that Shepard was doing much better. The residuals from the meds mostly gone from her system.
"Oh I remember some pretty dirty things, especially that weekend in Nos Asta." She bit her lip wickedly.
When Shepard had gotten out of the hospital before being assigned to take out the geth he had taken her to Illyum for the three days shore leave. For the entire time Kaidan hadn't seen more of the city then their suite and a small café in the lobby. Another memory he had pushed away when he had lost her that she remembered in perfect detail.
"Are you done being a crazy tease?" He puts down the datapad trying to look stern but he can't stop grinning.
"Me?! I tried to drag you back here after the Apollo but you were more interested in your beer and steak!"
His mouth clicked shut audibly. At the time he had just thought she was toying with him. Stammering he looked at her at a loss for words. The peal of her laughter made it worth it. Her hair was tangled and a mess but the laugh lines around her eyes crinkled her nose in that way he loved.
"So seriously Shepard. We have a lot to do before this is over. Let me help, you don't have to do it all alone. You always said we make a great team."
She lets out a huge yawn and stretches, her arms flung out to either side.
"That we do." She said thoughtfully. "Alright, hell you were always more by the book then me anyway. Between me, Anderson and Hackett I guess the chain of Command is getting pretty light. Yesterday Liara and I had a meeting with Tevos. Li is trying to co-ordinate escape from Thessia. Make a retreat to Illyum and regroup. You would be great at that. Training biotics like your students but with asari militia. They won't be commandos but it's better than hiding."
Kaidan thinks about it for a moment before nodding.
"Yea I could do that. You talked about this with them already? You did not just come up with this just now first thing in the morning."
"No during the meeting. They were both too torn up and I needed to talk to you about it first. Asari don't have a military like we do. One of the reasons Thessia didn't hold up like Earth." She frowns realizing how cold that sounded (but not inaccurate). "Besides I am pretty useless before my first liter of coffee in the morning."
With a nod Kaidan stands up and walks over to the desk grabbing two of the empty mugs. Getting water from the bathroom and the instant stuff he sets it to reheat on the small plugin she had next to her work station. Shepard watches him a bemused look on her face.
"Making yourself right at home I see." A smirk as he hands over the mug to her eagerly outstretched hands.
"You did ask me to stay last night Shep." He takes a seat next to her on the bed.
She bites her lip for a long moment not looking up from the mug. Her shoulders slump and she speaks into the hot liquid.
"Was it really bad? It was dumb of me. After Jeff I should have known better." Her voice was even and soft but Kaidan knew the turmoil behind it. He had seen it last night. She wanted him there but was afraid to ask. At heart she was more concerned about everyone else around her then her own damaged self.
"Shep I am still here." He puts one arm around her and the second hand he puts over her two hands wrapped around the mug.
His one palm almost encompassing both of hers. The hands that had stabbed the android that had almost ended his life. The small delicate hands that held a sniper rifle to a brute when the world was shaking around her. The hands that had pulled Joker out of a burning cockpit. The hands that had lain on his chest while he was unconscious as if they could transfer some of her will into making him whole again.
"When I said let me help that includes this. I'm here because I want to be,"
"Kay….Weren't you the one telling me duty and crew has to come first? Before Ilos before all this craziness?"
"Yea well that was before I lost you and most of the universe went to hell. Now…" He pauses choosing his words carefully. "A Drell assassin told me that there are things worth fighting for beyond ourselves." He takes her hand from the cup and brings it to his lips softly. "This is worth it to me. The chance to see you happy again. Even if it is just seconds at a time."
"I can't ask you to go through that again Kaidan. The chances that any of us will make it through this. Even getting back to Earth seems impossible until Cerberus is out of the way."
"Yea well the chances of us getting to the Mu Relay, the chances of you bringing your whole team back from the Collector ship, being brought back from the dead….Need I go on? Call it what you will Shep you make the impossible eventual. This time is no different you just need more help getting there."
"And you have the nerve to call me stubborn." She says by way of concede. Putting her head into that comfortable hollow of his shoulder she sips her coffee with a small smile on her lips that finally lights up her eyes.