In the perfect world, her eyes won't even deserve a second look from me. And maybe that's the reason I am in this world. It's the only place for me to be.
Chapter 3. Into her profile
For the past weeks they have been forcefully together, Midorima learned a lot to Kaminari than he wanted to know. He even made a list even if he said he doesn't want to.
Name: Kaminari Tomoka
Vital Statistics:
Gender: Female. Obviously.
Age/Sign/Birthday: Unknown. Refer to last chapter for reason.
Blood Type: Type A. Midorima ended up tending all the wounds their members got every time they hurt themselves from unnecessary trainings and sword fights. That includes Kaminari who could not even look at her own blood without fainting. Midorima wondered how she gets through with her monthly visits.
Height: Approximately 5'6" as tall or as Midorima would say, as small as Kuroko.
Weight: 47 kilograms. She said but Midorima bet she weighed more. Read Personality for reference.
Appearance:
Hair: Straight and black in color. It is very long that it reaches below her bottom and with long unruly bangs at the front. The lower part is cut in a choppy layered. Midorima was sure a child might have cut her hair at the ends. She did not even looked like someone who go to parlor house to fixed her hair. It was all natural even though it is so soft and shiny. No Midorima, did not touch it on purpose.
Eyes: Sapphire Blue. Looked like eyes of the dead which Midorima compared to the eyes of a dead fish. Midorima wonders if at night, her eyes claim the souls of the dead buried near her home. There is only a one time when Kaminari looked directly at him. Her eyes are different then but Midorima still did not like it. It was still dead.
Lips: Pale and small lips. She has a hobby of biting her lips every time she wanted to drink but too lazy to get water herself. Of course Kaminari would never know why Midorima would bring her drinks every time she wanted one.
Skin: Pale white. She had a lot of scars in her back and right palm as a result of the stance and movements she made in practicing sword fighting. Her right hand has tough skin while her paralyzed left is smooth. Again, Midorima did not touch it on purpose.
Body: She may be as big as Momoi's. Never ask Midorima how he knew. Refer to the next chapter if you really wanted to.
Smell: Have a natural smell. Like the smell of trees maybe from everyday practice of cutting trees and bamboos.
Breath smell like mint tea. No, Midorima not tasted it yet.
Personal Statistics
Team: Not active in any school activity, too lazy to practice anything other than sword fighting, too brutal to be in the judo team. Maybe a local bully in the school. All other teams are wary of her.
Talent: Wushu, Sword fighting, Jujutsu, Iaijutsu, Judo, Kendo, Aikido, Kyudo, sleeping in any position, in any place and in any time, could be lost even in a one way street.
Gambling. Midorima wonders why she still isn't that rich with this talent of hers. He had not seen her lost even once.
Knowledge
Anatomy. Limited to all parts of the body she could use to kill a person. She even taught Midorima some of her knowledge. She is quite enthusiastic in this kind of subject.
Midorima learned from her the correct form and movement of the fingers when gouging the eyes and how vulnerable the nose when strike with the edge of the hand along on the bridge, which will cause breakage of the bone, unbearable pain, possible blindness, and if the blow is hard enough, death. Also, when the blow was delivered with the heel of the hand in an upward motion, this will shove the bone up into the brain causing death.
She also showed him how to hit the temple which she said had a large artery on it that will cause instant death. She even showed him the part on the back of the neck that when delivered by a rabbit punch you could easily break it. The upper lip, as she said is also where a large network of nerves is located which is relatively close to the skin. A sharp upward blow will cause extreme pain, and lost of consciousness for the victim.
Midorima will not tell all what he learned from her but mostly all the parts of the body could be hit and it will not end up good to that person. He also took note not to make her an enemy. He understood now why the gatekeeper is afraid of her. He will also make sure she will not tell Akashi her knowledge in this area.
History. Limited to the history of swords and martial arts. Extremely talkative when the topic is about swords.
Literature. Could only read books with limited time because of eye defect. Midorima have to read their school homework for her. Surprisingly her anamnesis is impressive even just by listening. However this mind exercise caused her to sleep in disturbing manner. Irritatingly for Midorima, he had to read half of it again.
Physics. Knowledgeable. She knew correct stances to balance herself in a small object during training. She could even explain it by using physics term like gravity, force, mass, momentum and many more.
Music. Not yet unlocked
Chemistry. Surprisingly Kaminari could create time bombs using average daily home supplies. From fertilizer to lot of matchsticks and even diesel. Midorima thought the nail polish he saw in her bag was for personal use. He would have never thought that the match powder and nail polish could be that explosive when heated up. She also tried to surprise him by throwing a plastic bag with mixture of vinegar and baking powder. After they mixed, bubbles formed and the plastic explodes. Takao is now her personal student.
Kaminari is also knowledgeable to drugs. Being yakuza we should have not been surprise. Thankfully she was not a user but she said she is interested to know its effect. She admitted using for one time only, a drug made out of surprisingly and supposed to be harmless bananas. She said she used peelings of ripe yellow bananas and scraped all its insides using her favorite knife then boiled it until it formed a solid paste. She said she spread it to a cookie sheets and dried it to obtain a fine black powder. The effects she said could be felt after smoking a few sheets. This is obviously not just basic chemistry knowledge. Midorima was almost impressed.
Mathematics. Limited to the number of strikes a bamboo stick could be sliced to make a perfect different solids like cone, cubes, spheres and many more. She said equations just make her eyes hurt. Could learn fast however when subject was presented using money and cards.
Geography. Zero knowledge. Since her eyes could not be moved, she did not have a wide range of sight. She could not recognize difference very well so she thought every path looked the same.
Economics/Cooking. Knowledge of food, unlimited. Could eat in a blink of an eye. Cooking however limited to supervising aka watching the cook cooks. However she knows what kind of knife is the best to use on different vegetables and fruits to slice it perfectly and efficiently.
She could not write well. Her right hand is perfect for swords but not for pen. In Midorima's observation, her right hand shouldn't be the dominant one but her left hand is almost paralyzed so she could not really use it.
Personality
Extremely Lazy. Close to Murasakibara's and Aomine's laziness. To Midorima's disgusts, she used her foot to open pages of the book while slumped on the floor reading. Of course, he would not say anything because it would also mean he was looking at her exposed underwear when lifting the page.
Extremely fond on cute things. When they are walking home, she will be out of his side. Knowing that she has no sense of direction, Midorima fears she lost even she is with him. However he will find her playing with cats she found on the street. She will rub her face to that thing which disgust Midorima more. He promised not to touch her face ever.
Had a hobby to collect knives and swords and put them on random places. Midorima had to learn it the hard and painful way.
She found it funny to test Midorima's self control and patience. This personality of her is the most dreaded one of Midorima. Thankfully, he will definitely not be affected. No, not at all.
It happens on one ordinary morning, Midorima woke up to find Kaminari sitting on top of him.
"What the hell?" Midorima almost shouted. He tried to push Kaminari but he was not strong enough yet.
"Your mother let me in" Kaminari answered casually.
"Why are you here so early?" Midorima asked her.
Kaminari did not answer. Then Midorima notice she was wearing the same clothes as the day before. He was certain that she hasn't got home since yesterday. How bothersome.
"Why are you sitting on me? Get off and get out of my room. I have a routine to do." Midorima was trying to push her away from him but Kaminari won't budge.
"What now?" Midorima irritatingly asked. He could not get her to move out.
"This is the first time I could look at you closely" Kaminari said while looking at his face.
"Hmmm" Midorima could not really answer. He knew it must have been hard for her to look up.
"Your face is funny with no glasses." she said while giggling. Midorima wanted to get angry but this is the first time he saw her eyes close too. It is not really lifeless when she is laughing like this.
"Your eyelashes are so thick. Are you sure you're not a girl?" Kaminari asked him.
"Of course I am certainly not. Get out of my room now." Midorima was irritated. He could not stand up and his routine was disrupted.
His mother chooses the perfect time to walk into his room and find them in those promising position. Two green eyes met each other.
"Should I knock first?" his mother asked.
"Mom, it's not what you think it is" Midorima replied still trying to push the girl on his top.
"Hmm. The breakfast is ready if you wanted to come down now." she then left the annoyed and blushing green head and the confused raven head.
When his mother closed the door, unknowingly to Midorima, she smiled and raised her fist. "Shintarou, you could do it." she cheered silently.
Midorima pushed Kaminari out of his way, this time he was successful. He sat down and grabbed his glasses. Now his routine was completely destroyed. He grabbed Kaminari and dragged her out of his room.
"Wait for me downstairs" He said to her.
Now Midorima had to return to bed then do his routine properly. When he went down, he saw that Kaminari was already sitting comfortably in their dining table. What astonished him is that they are talking about the wedding and grand children.
"Must have been my unlucky day." Midorima said to himself.
The next day, he woke up with Kaminari on his top. It happens the next day too and the next. Almost everyday.
"I give up, I will be the one to go to your house in the morning and walk you home after school." Midorima finally said to Kaminari. Kaminari immediately accepted.
But after the first day he walked her home, he said "I give up, I don't want to walk you home." Midorima could not go home because Kaminari always convince him to stay until she fell asleep.
It happened on the first night he sent her home. He really wanted to go home but Kaminari won't allow him. She said he had to fight her to be given that privilege. And so the biggest mistake of his life happens.
She was using his jujitsu to knock him over. But being so tall she had a hard time lifting him. He used his built for his advantage and knocked her over. Her servant walked in the right time as he was on top of Kaminari pinning both her hands with his hands.
"Should I knock first Anee-sama?" the servant asked concerned with her own life.
"Hey, it's not what you think it is" Midorima tried to deny but the servant was not listening.
"Hmm. The dinner is ready if you wanted to eat now." she then bowed then left the irritated green head and the confused raven head.
When the server closed the door, unknowingly to Midorima, she smiled and raised her fist. "Anee-sama, you could do it" she cheered silently.
Midorima's dilemma increased every day. Now his family was excited for the wedding. They said they could not been so proud of him. Takao said that it is his luck that he got that girl. No one understood him. He just wanted peaceful life. Midorima then tried to contact his middle school basketball team maybe they could give advice.
It's too late when he realized that he should have never done that.
Sender: Midorima Shintarou
Sent to: Akashi Seijuuro, Kuroko Tetsuya, Momoi Satsuki, Murasakibara Atsushi, Kise Ryota, Ahomine Daiki
Subject: Seriously Important
Message: How do I get rid of a girl?
The message is very vague but Midorima was not very fond of texting and don't really know how to explain his situation. And so it earned a lot of misunderstandings to the others.
The first one to reply is Akashi who he thought would give the best advice of all.
Sender: Akashi Seijuuro
Sent to: Midorima Shintarou
Subject: Re:Seriously Important
Message: You have to bury her in the ocean floor.
That way the body will never be found.
Are you talking about your lucky item?
The next one is from Ahomine being Ahomine.
Sender: Ahomine Daiki
Sent to: Midorima Shintarou
Subject: Re:Seriously Important
Message: Funny one Midorima. As if you could have a girlfriend.
Are you talking about your lucky item?
Next one is Momoi who should be understanding being a female and all who should know stuffs like this.
Sender: Momoi Satsuki
Sent to: Midorima Shintarou
Subject: Re:Seriously Important
Message: Mou, you have a girlfriend already? I did not know that.
Are you talking about your lucky item? If it's a real one, could we meet her?
What did he expect? It is a waste of time reading their messages.
Sender: Murasakibara Atsushi
Sent to: Midorima Shintarou
Subject: Re:Seriously Important
Message: Ne, are you talking about your lucky item?
I'm hungry Mido-chin. See you later and your "girlfriend".
The next one, he did not know why he was included in the message.
Sender: Kise Ryota
Sent to:Midorima Shintarou
Subject: Re:Seriously Important
Message: Lol. Is this a prank message Midorimacchi?
I'm in my shooting right now. Are you talking about your lucky item?
If you are looking for girlfriend there are many real girls here.
Tell me more about it. I'll call you.
He decided to block Kise after reading that. The last one to reply is Kuroko who was never been a help at all.
Sender: Kuroko Tetsuya
Sent to: Midorima Shintarou
Subject: Re:Seriously Important
Message: Is this Midorima-kun or is it Takao-kun?
Are you talking about your lucky item?
Why do all of them think it was a lucky item? He was certain he was not in that level of obsession. It must be their idiocy he thought.
Sender: Akashi Seijuuro
Sent to: Kuroko Tetsuya, Momoi Satsuki, Murasakibara Atsushi, Kise Ryota, Ahomine Daiki
Subject: Change of Plans
Message: Shintarou is in serious trouble. We must take necessarya ctions to be able to participate in the winter cup. You are ALL REQUIRED to be in house tomorrow. No exception. No lates.
Sender: Akashi Seijuuro
Sent to: Midorima Shintarou
Subject:Re:Re:Seriously Important
Message: Don't worry, we'll help you with the body.
We'll see you tomorrow at your house. Don't forget to bring her.
This is not good. Definitely not good.
This is a stupidity on my part. I got too perplexed in my situation that I could no longer think properly. I wonder if Akashi will learn more on Kaminari's killing knowledge or Kaminari will learn more on Akashi's demonic knowledge. Either way it's not good if they know each other.
I'll tell you more about what happen in the meeting in the next letter.
Yours Truly,
Mido***** *********
tbc 4/9