Chapter 110 - Devil's Garden

Ino was pulling her hair up in Shikamaru's kitchen. It had gotten messy after their usual encounter on the sofa. "Excuse me?"

"I don't want my family to find out about this. It'll look bad," Shikamaru said.

Ino's face curled. "I thought… that was never a factor?" she said.

He sighed, like she was stupid. "This is so dumb… Look, they're keeping a closer eye on me because I got Temari pregnant, all right?"

"…what?"

Temari? Wasn't that… the Kazekage's sister?

"Yeah, and since she went behind my back and didn't tell me about it until last week, and she wants to keep it for whatever reason, my family's wanting me to take responsibility so they can have an heir and… look, it'll just be a lot of trouble and it's better if we don't do this any more. I can't imagine the shit I'd get if they caught me with you."

"…and somehow… my family doesn't count?" Ino replied, stooping slightly.

Shikamaru shrugged. "You found a way to work with it before this. But I got new problems to deal with. That's just how it is. It's nothing personal."

"…right, nothing personal…" Ino said. She grabbed her purse and rummaged pointedly for her lipstick. "You could have told me before we… went through with it today, you know…" she added, the tube poised by her chin.

Shikamaru just shrugged, again. "Hey, cut me a little slack. Sex with you is pretty great, and I wanted one last go."

Ino smeared the makeup on her mouth and snapped the cap back on the tube. "I'll be leaving, then. Good luck with your… family."

Shikamaru waved back, casually.

She wondered to herself, as she stormed through the snow, taking every long-cut to delay her return to her house, why the hell she was so angry about this.

He was right, of course. It was only sex. She'd promised to not get attached, emotionally, and she… hadn't.

But he'd been out there… fucking Temari on the side, and not even telling her. And he obviously hadn't used protection with her either—there was a hot pang of fear that Ino might have caught something from her, or—if he'd slept with more than just her—but she took her own health into account, and since nothing had ever burned or broken out or itched, this was a baseless worry.

But surely she had deserved at least a little… clarity? Honesty, even? That she wasn't this exclusive situation for him?

(That she meant at least something to him?)

Of course, Shikamaru had the freedom to sleep with whomever the hell he wanted, and by all means she did too—except she was married and he wasn't, except with any other man there might have been emotions and feelings, except Shikamaru was consistent and quiet and more reliable than any artificial method she might have used, otherwise.

And she would have to resort to them, now, since Sasuke would obviously say no.

(Because he didn't want her, he wanted her even less than Shikamaru did.)

She stood, unmoving, as the snow fell in heavy, cotton-ball clumps, her breath floating around her in thin clouds.

…or, well, would he? Her persistence after Hajime had only driven him off, but maybe he had softened in the wake of their attempts for Nadeshiko.

She knotted her mind around these thoughts, as she finally began on a course home. Because her anger—and she shouldn't have been angry—over Shikamaru wouldn't get her anywhere.

(And neither would abandonment.)

She was silent all throughout dinner, blinking slowly, listening as Hajime tried to share how his day at school had been, with Takeru talking over him, and Sasuke chuckling at them both.

Ino sat in bed for a while afterward, once she and Sasuke had settled down for the night. He was preoccupied with a scroll of some sort.

A tight, winding ache had taken up residence in her stomach. A familiar feeling, though one she hadn't felt in many years.

She took in a very deep breath before, softening her eyes as best she could, she leaned over and kissed Sasuke on the cheek.

He jerked away from her. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Can we sleep together tonight, Sasuke?" she said, pulling back.

"Aren't we already," he replied.

"No, Sasuke, I meant have sex. Or… can't we at least cuddle?"she added, when his face had not changed.

"…I'm reading," he replied, and shook the scroll tight. The paper rippled and snapped. "So, no."

"When you're done?"

"Stop asking," he replied.

Ino's mouth tightened, and she got out of bed and closed the door behind her on the way to the bathroom, where she turned on the shower.

(Sasuke thought nothing of it, except maybe a shred of disgust.)

He didn't know, however, that Ino had disappeared so that she could cry where nobody could hear her.

Everything felt hopeless.

Almost five years had been wasted, just so she could wind right back where she had started, just as lonely and just as unfulfilled. And she had come away from it with nothing but white-noise paranoia and a child that seemed to spite her with every ounce of its existence.

Sasuke was already asleep, with the lights turned out, when she wiped away the last of the tears, and turned off the shower, and smoothed her face with cold water.

She made the decision to at least try not feeling sorry for herself in the morning, after Hajime had gone to school and Sasuke had gone to work. And in doing so, she called Sakura and made an arrangement for a lunch date, leaving Takeru and Nadeshiko with her father on the way over.

Of course, she stayed as discrete as possible, and said nothing of Shikamaru.

This was all about Sasuke.

"He wouldn't even cuddle last night, when I asked."

Sakura's face lowered a little as she thought. "Did you two… fight?"

"No, it was just a normal night," Ino replied. "He's not really… ever been intimate, I just wonder if it's my fault."

"You ever tried talking to him about it?" said Sakura.

(Trying to reconcile the lack of intimacy with what she assumed was a very active sex life, considering the children and what she had heard previously.)

"Well, I've tried," Ino said, "it's just… well, it's hard, bringing these sorts of things up to him…"

Sakura pursed her lips and tapped her fingers on the outside of her coffee mug. "Well, I can only help so much…"

"I just want an outsider's opinion, really," Ino continued, as if she hadn't heard her. "I mean… Sakura, you don't… mind if I ask about your sex life, do you?"

(Since much time had passed since Sakura's loud, honeymoon days, and Ino's newly-wed jealousy.)

Sakura's face flushed a tight pink. "I… suppose I don't mind…" she said. "What do you want to ask me?"

"Well, um…" Ino's breath hissed through her teeth as she considered. "…does Lee… allow you to ask for sex?"

Sakura's eyebrows lowered. "How do you mean?"

"Like… if you're in the mood, do you feel like you can ask him?"

"Well… yeah, of course. I mean, I'm his wife, after all."

"But…" Ino breathed in a little deeply. "But what if he's not in the mood? What do you do then?"

"Well…" Sakura said again, "first off, when I do ask, Lee's… usually up for it. But he always says we'll find time later if he's too tired or something."

"And how often does that happen?"

"Not… often?" Sakura replied. "I mean, Lee gets sick once in a blue moon, so…"

"Ah, I see…" Ino said. "And does he ask you, too?"

"Yeah, though he's a lot happier when I ask."

"Huh…" Ino propped her chin up on her palm. "So… how often do you two get together, then?"

"We try to set some time aside at least once a week," Sakura replied.

"Once a week?!"

Sakura's face, loosening as she grew more comfortable with the subject, suddenly frowned again. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Oh, it's… just that Sasuke and I haven't had sex since we were trying for Nadeshiko…"

Sakura's pause made Ino feel like she had done something wrong.

"…Ino that's… three years, at least," Sakura said. She reached across the table and touched Ino's elbow. "Is… everything okay at home?"

"Yes, yes, everything's fine," Ino said, quickly, waving her free hand. Though her eyes lowered, after. "…at least, that's what I hope…" She sighed. "I mean, that's why I want to talk to you, to see what… other people do about these things."

"Well, Ino…" Sakura pulled her arms back and wrapped a hand around her own elbow as she scratched her shoulder with the other. "I think… honestly, this isn't really my business, but I think that if you want to sleep with Sasuke, unless he has a damn good reason, you should be allowed to. I mean, you're his wife, for heaven's sake!"

"I know, I know," Ino replied. "Just… I don't know, I feel like it it's not within my place to ask."

"…Ino, seriously, again," Sakura said. "You're his wife. If he's not letting you do things that you want to do—sex included—then that's not right, and you should talk to him about it. I mean, so you two can at least work out a compromise, you know?"

"Mm."

There was a still, settled pause.

"Is he… keeping you from doing anything else?" Sakura said.

And Ino opened her mouth to respond, on reflex, but she found herself thinking.

Sasuke was out of the house so often, and he stayed out of her way, in regards to how the house was kept. She cleaned, she cooked, and he recognized that as her duty.

But the children, now…

They had once been her responsibility, as well. But with Hajime now in school, socializing with outsiders, learning the ninja arts, Sasuke was starting to…

…interfere.

And every time she tried to reach out and reestablish some sort of reasonable medium, he pushed back, sometimes reluctantly and eventually yielding, but other times…

("Oh, come on. Don't you remember when we were still students? You don't want to coddle the boy, a few bumps and scrapes will help him.")

(But active combat wasn't learned until much later. Hajime's injuries pricked at her heart.)

(Though she wondered if Sasuke's intense methods of training would, perhaps, force some discipline and respect into Takeru when he began school the next year. And Nadeshiko was still so young, but surely Sasuke wouldn't be so hard on a little girl? Especially considering what he thought of them, and how little attention he gave to his daughter, compared to his sons…)

"…no, just… in the bedroom," Ino replied, quietly. "Things are really quite well, otherwise. Honestly," she added, seeing Sakura's worried face. "He's wonderful to me and the kids, he's just… well, we've spent enough time talking about it."

"I suppose," Sakura said. She shrugged. "Well, next time you two get some privacy, talk to him about it. It's unfair if he's denying even that to you. And, hey, remind him, if he doesn't feel like going full-out, there's always oral."

"Oral…?" Ino said.

"…oh come on, you know what I'm talking about," Sakura said. "Going down." She pointed a finger for emphasis.

Ino blushed furiously. "I could—never. Sasuke wouldn't do that, not in a million years."

"Never know until you ask," Sakura replied, shrugging again. "If you're still having trouble later on, come to me, okay?"

"All right, all right," Ino said. And they finished their drinks over far less explicit talk and left each other in sugar-high spirits.

Ino realized, after the fact, that the meeting had done nothing to alleviate her fears that Sasuke didn't want her. But her mind, flipping through possibilities of solutions, inspired by Sakura, began brushing those away—of course he wanted her, he kept her around and was so good to her.

He just… didn't want to have sex with her. For some reason.

(And she refused to use herself as an excuse any more. She was his wife and she was certain that he loved her, so.)

Old, whimsical theories began coming back, patted down by more logical ones. She considered his upbringing, and the things she had noticed about him in the years that had passed, and wondered if maybe he was just… old-fashioned. Since he only seemed to want to have sex to have children, maybe he thought it wasn't proper to have it for fun? She could certainly try re-educating him, if that was the case…

Though that possibility made her nervous. Trying to change Sasuke felt… dangerous, especially since he seized up against any sort of shift in routine or suggestion of hers, however minor. True, he was more lenient when it had to do with things she had direct power over, but his own life felt off-limits.

…well, she was his wife, wasn't she? She had a right. She wouldn't raise a fuss if he'd suddenly asked her to do something like… this.

The whole matter was saturated with sighs and frustration. And Ino worked through it by cooking zealously, that evening, and scrubbing the dishes with far more concentration than usual—usually the concentration was to keep her from worrying about Hajime, but the matters at hand did the job automatically.

When she finally returned to her bedroom, in the evening, after tucking all the children in, and kissing Hajime and Nadeshiko on their foreheads, she was almost marching. Sasuke noticed. "You seem excited by something."

"Excited?" she replied.

"Did you have a good time visiting Sakura?" he continued, lightly. "You two seem to always have fun whenever you get together."

"Oh, yes, I had a splendid time," Ino replied, with neon enthusiasm. "Though I'm thinking about something else."

"And what would that be?"

And she got on the bed in front of him, crawling forward on her hands and knees over the mattress. "I want you to sleep with me, Sasuke."

Sasuke's face lowered into what was almost a pout. "Not this again."

"I'm not going to let you brush me off," Ino said. "I'm your wife, you know."

"I know you're my wife," Sasuke replied, with a smile, a touch of amusement. "But what does that have to do with… sleeping together without any… purpose?"

"Without any purpose?" Ino said. "Sex isn't just for having children, Sasuke."

"I know… that," Sasuke said, stiffly. "But we have to be responsible."

"We can be responsible and still have sex, you know," Ino said. "That's what everyone else does."

"Please stop talking. I don't want to talk about this." Sasuke got off the bed, and crossed his arms as he went out, presumably to go take a walk.

Ino sighed and went to sit against the pillows, her legs crossed.

This was only the beginning.

She asked, again, the next night. No, not asked—requested.

"I thought you weren't going to bring that up again, after last night," Sasuke replied. He had his arms crossed, again.

"Oh, come on," Ino said. "Can we at least talk about it?"

"I don't want to talk about it. Besides, we have sex more than enough, I think."

"The last time we had sex was three years ago, Sasuke."

"Isn't that acceptable?" He turned her way, the question poised almost innocently on his face.

"Uh… well, not to most people," Ino said.

"Well. I must not be 'most people,'"Sasuke replied, and looked away with an upturned chin, much like Takeru did, during his wordless tantrums.

Ino, not sure whether to laugh or stare in horror, chose to drop the matter for the time being, and resume the next evening.

Her questions, during every attempt, varied, since persistence on a single subject never seemed to get her different answers.

"If you're concerned about having us having another child too soon, then there's things we can do for that."

"I'm more comfortable with… abstaining. It's less of a hassle."

"Would you be all right with… oral sex? On either side."

"…that's quite unnecessary, thank you."

"Are you embarrassed by how long it takes for you to get in the mood? Because there are medicines for that, you know."

"No," Sasuke replied, his face growing far redder than it had the previous night, "why would you even—good night."

She giggled, in return, as quietly as she could. "Good night, Sasuke."

But then, the next night, she asked, cautiously, "Is there anything… I can change about myself that would help?"

"This has nothing to do with you," Sasuke replied.

"Sasuke, what do you mean by that?" Ino said. "Are you telling me that, no matter what I did, you'd never sleep with me…"

(Her tongue tripped over the word "voluntarily.")

"…for fun, or that this is a completely different reason?"

"I don't see why you care so much," Sasuke replied. "Unless we're trying for a child, I see no reason why I'd need to sleep with you. It's too much trouble and I'm not in the mood."

"But sometimes I am, Sasuke. Don't you think it's… a little unfair to deny me some pleasure simply because you think it's a little trouble? Especially because I've gone over-"

"The amount of importance you've placed on this is really bothering me," Sasuke said, his eyes narrowed. "Why does this matter to you so much?"

Ino felt like her body was shrinking, and so did her voice.

"…because I love you, Sasuke, and I want to be with you," she finally replied. "I'm your wife, anyways, it's what couples do…"

"Is that the only way you can tell me you appreciate me, then?" he said. His voice was flat, almost hollow.

This surprised her. "Well—of course not, Sasuke, it's just… something I want to do with you," she said. "Because it feels good, because…" She groaned in frustration, in the impossibility of asking if he didn't love her because, "Look, why won't you? Is it really that much of a problem?"

"Because it's unnecessary," Sasuke grumbled.

"Lots of things are unnecessary! But we still do them!" Ino replied, trying to keep her voice from rising. "Because it feels good, or it looks good, or it tastes good, or… whatever, we do them because they're nice, or because that's how we know we—care about each other!"

She tried to pull her voice back into her mouth, after that outburst. And she waited, faintly terrified, for his response, wondering if she had been too loud.

Sasuke was quiet for a very long time, his eyes downcast, his lips pressing and unpressing together.

"…if I sleep with you, will you stop worrying about whether or not I… care about you?" he said, finally, softly.

The great expanse of vulnerability that came with his tone, his words, swept over Ino like a wave.

But she answered, honestly, and without feeling the least bit selfish, "Yes, it'll… make me feel a lot better, Sasuke."

"Hmph. I'll… go get ready, then," Sasuke replied, and got off the bed to take off his pajamas.

That night, though he was no more or less passionate than he ever was, Ino felt that she and Sasuke truly made love, instead of clinical intercourse.

She held onto him with her hands around his shoulders, feeling a rush of warmth and pleasure with every touch and movement that she had never—ever—felt with Shikamaru.

It was the feeling of being wanted, distilled and made physical. And it made her mouth shake and her eyelids flutter, and she stretched out like a cat in the sun on the bed, afterwards.

Sasuke, however, was sitting upright, with his arms crossed over and propped up on his knees.

"…if you ever feel like… I don't care enough, tell me," he said, in the silence full of heavy breathing that followed. "I don't want you to feel… unnecessary. You are my wife, and you mean a lot to me."

Ino, hearing this, sat up and took her place beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I will," she said. "Thank you, Sasuke. I love you."

"You're… welcome," Sasuke replied, his shoulder relaxing beneath her ear.

She did not ask to sleep with him, the following night, however. She had gotten her answer, and was satisfied with it, at least for the time being.

He didn't want to sleep with her because he didn't want her. He just… didn't put the same importance on sex that she did.

And, well, she seemed to have gotten the point across. And—and he had even said this to her!—all she had to do was ask, when she was feeling unwanted.

The only darkness left in her heart was regret. If she had only been so persistent and forward with him at the beginning, she wouldn't have had to waste all those years, all that pain and paranoia and blackness.

She would have two sons with the same father, perhaps, too.

Though finding out that she was expecting again, later that year, seemed almost a humorous response to the shadow-thought.

(Especially considering that the child had to have been conceived around Valentine's Day, on the night of Ino's great upset.)

Sasuke, however, took the news with what was almost an air of discomfort. "Do you… really think we can handle four children?" he said. "We didn't plan for this…"

"Oh, come on, Takeru's almost in school, and Nadeshiko's an absolute angel, she stays well out of my way," Ino replied. "I certainly can handle another baby in the house. You don't have to worry about that. Besides," she added, smirking slightly, "it's helping to rebuild your clan, isn't it?"

There was a small, almost embarrassed smile in return, at that. "All right, then. We can handle four."

The child was utterly hers, from that first settled, victorious discussion onward.

(Though it had perhaps belonged to her far earlier than that, considering the nature of its conception.)

And Ino had already chosen her names: Inori for a girl, Inou for a boy. This would be her Yamanaka heir, no matter what Sasuke had to say about it. Chouji was expecting a child, after all, and—oh, how very rich—wasn't Shikamaru soon to be saddled with a child of his own? This was perfect, almost destiny.

(The regret in Ino's heart was like a fine, heavy coal, fueling a fire of confidence that spread throughout her and made her bold.)

Sakura was, as usual, the first person outside of the family to learn about the imminent arrival.

(She'd had such a smile on her face when Ino returned to her before then, with news of Sasuke's compromises.)

And after the usual talk of names and due dates and preparations, Sakura asked her a most unusual question.

"So what are your plans for the birth?"

Ino tilted her head, her cheek resting on the upper side of her hand. "What do you mean by that?"

"Are you going to have it in the hospital or at home or whatever?"

"At the… hospital, of course, why would I want to have it at home?" Ino replied, her nose wrinkling a little. "I almost had Takeru in the kitchen, and that wasn't exactly a picnic."

"Ah, well… I'm just saying because that's what I did with Kenji. I had Shizune come over and she helped me and Lee out."

Ino's face was stuck. "You mean you wanted to have your kid at home?"

"Yeah. Because let me tell you, having Sakari at the hospital was a nightmare," Sakura said. "I was stressed, I was in pain, and everyone was yelling at me, telling me what to do… I mean, I'm a doctor, for heaven's sake, I sort of know what to expect!"

(Though Lee, perhaps, had been more stressed than her throughout the ordeal, trying to coax Sakura out of the bathroom and back onto the bed so she wouldn't hurt herself, and receiving a string of very violent threats in response.)

("ASSHOLE, I'LL PUSH WHEN I FUCKING WANT TO!")

"So when Kenji came along I just went 'Screw it!' and stayed at home," she continued. "So much more relaxing."

"…I can't imagine how that could be relaxing in any way," Ino replied, her body pinching inward with sense-memory. "I mean… no pain medicine? And what if something went wrong? I'd be worrying the entire time!"

"Not being strapped to a bed with your legs in stirrups is surprisingly helpful," Sakura said, scoffing. "And besides, I'm medically trained, and I had Shizune with me. That's more than enough, I think. Plus Lee got to catch the baby—it was so adorable, he was sobbing the whole time—and Sakari got to meet him right away."

"…you had Sakari in the room with you?" Ino's mouth had joined her wrinkled nose in stretching with distaste. "But she was—four years old? I wouldn't dare!"

Sakura just shrugged. "Hey, the sooner she learns about these things, the better."

Ino folded her arms across her chest and frowned, looking away.

Sakura sighed. "Look, okay, I just thought I'd ask, since I had a much easier time when I was at home and in control. But you've had… three kids at the hospital already? If that works for you, that's fine."

Ino didn't answer.

"…Ino, seriously, are you all right?"

Something in Sakura's words had tapped her, gently. "What? Oh, yes, I'm fine. Just… considering. I'll think about it."

Sakura managed a smile. "If you ever decide on it, I'd be more than happy to assist, all right?"

"Sounds great," Ino replied.

The entire way home, Sakura's words circled in her mind.

"When I was at home and in control."

The fire-confidence in Ino's body told her to seize the opportunity for this form of power, however small and temporary and… strange it was.

She'd have never done it otherwise, but she was starving for control.

She wouldn't be helpless any more. She would take more control of her life, where she could.

She informed Sasuke of her intentions a few days later, once the possibility had had time to solidify and grow rational.

He reacted much like she had, a few days earlier. "Isn't that unsafe? What if something happened to the baby? You need a doctor."

"I'll have Sakura," Ino replied. "She's done this before, herself. It'll be a lot less trouble overall and we won't have to worry about leaving the kids alone in the house during the time I'd have been at the hospital, anyways."

"…I see," Sasuke replied. "You don't want the kids actually present, though?"

"They can stay if they want to," Ino said. "If you'd rather have them out of the house, though-"

"I'll figure something out when the day arrives," Sasuke said. "You take care of the preparations, then."

"Of course," Ino replied, smiling sweetly.

Her confidence, growing over the next few months, almost astonished her. True, there were still places where she had very little influence—Sasuke's training with the children, most-notably—but she figured out ways to undermine what she could not help. She taught Hajime basic first aid, so he could patch himself up when she was not around, and routinely praised him at the dinner table, so that Takeru's eager verbal smothering wouldn't have him feeling ignored.

Though Sasuke's insistence that she not tie back Nadeshiko's hair confused her. But when she asked, his reason, paired with a blush of embarrassment, was too adorable to deny: "She looks… cuter with her hair down. It suits her more. Pulling it back makes her look like a tomboy."

Seeing him have at least some interest in the girl was a delight to her heart, especially since Sasuke seemed to recoil so strongly against anything feminine.

Inou arrived a week before Takeru's fifth birthday. Sasuke left the house with both Hajime and Takeru shortly after she called Sakura to let her know that her labor was progressing.

"I'm taking them to the library. Or the movies. I'll keep them out of your way," he explained, as he was helping Takeru get his shoes on.

"And—Nadeshiko?" Ino said.

"Napping," Sasuke replied. "Didn't want to wake her up."

This was a weak excuse, at best, but Ino accepted it.

(As for Sasuke's related absence, she didn't even think she'd need him.)

(She didn't want him to be uncomfortable, anyways. His avoided-gaze involvement in the other births was clear in her memory.)

Sakura spent the next few hours with her on the floor of Ino's bedroom, rubbing her back for her and helping her breathe through her pain, and preparing blankets on the floor for when the messier business began. Nadeshiko stayed out of their way until near the end, when Ino was in transition and making a fair amount of noise.

The little girl poked her head in the room, holding onto the door with both hands. She didn't say anything, but the fear on her face was plain.

Ino was on her knees in a bathrobe, breathing heavily. "Oh, sweetie… did I wake you up…?"

Nadeshiko shook her head, though she hastily rubbed one of her eyes with a closed fist afterwards.

"Do you want her here?" Sakura said, leaning in, almost whispering.

Ino almost replied, though an intense cramp stole her answer, and she rocked back and forth, moaning through it.

Nadeshiko had wandered by the bed, almost hiding behind it, by the time it was over. "What's wrong with Mother?" she asked.

"Nothing's wrong, dear, she's just having a baby," Sakura replied. "She's fine."

"Oh," Nadeshiko replied. "Having a baby hurts."

"Only… a little, darling," Ino replied, managing a strained smile. "It's okay."

"Do you want me to go 'way?" Nadeshiko said.

"You can… stay here if you… want, honey," Ino said. "Just don't bother… Sakura, okay?"

"Okay," Nadeshiko replied. And she sat, with her knees drawn to her chest, behind the corner of the bed, watching with dark, earnest eyes as the women continued their work.

Inou arrived not very long afterward, red and wailing. And once Ino was sitting back up, with him squirming, wetly, in her arms, she called out, breathlessly, "Nadeshiko, come… meet your new brother…!"

Nadeshiko did not stand, but instead crawled, cautiously, to her mother's side, her hair falling over her shoulders. "That's a brother?"

"Yes, your little brother," Ino replied.

Nadeshiko blinked, slowly, almost analytically. "He looks dirty."

"Well, he's brand new, Nadeshiko-chan." Sakura was laughing, getting warm towels in her arms for Inou to be wrapped in. "Most babies aren't terribly clean when they're first born."

"Oh," Nadeshiko replied. "He's very small."

"Yes," Ino replied, "he is."

"He's a little brother."

"Yes, Nadeshiko."

Nadeshiko didn't say anything else, sitting back on her haunches with her hands pressed together by her ankles. She watched carefully as Sakura helped clean the new brother off, and listened as his raw cries became soft murmurs.

Sasuke came home with Hajime and Takeru in the evening. Ino was sitting in bed eating a plate of sweet curry that Lee had prepared and Sakura had brought with her. Nadeshiko was doing much of the same on the floor next to the bed, where Inou was laid out on a blanket. Sakura had stepped out a while back to have the placenta disposed of at the hospital, and the blankets laundered.

Sasuke opened the bedroom door enough to lean his head in, but nothing else. "Is it over?" he asked, quietly.

Ino nodded, setting her plate aside on the bedside table. "Come in and meet your new son."

And Sasuke went through his usual ritual of holding the child, observing every feature, and letting his joy leak through, subtly, unabashedly. Takeru and Hajime were wrestling near the door, neither of them sure of whether or not they were allowed to enter.

"His name is Inou," Ino said, after a while.

"Inou?"

"He'll be our Yamanaka heir. Chouji had a daughter a few months ago, and I heard Shikamaru did too. He'll have teammates to continue the tradition."

"All right," Sasuke said. "That sounds excellent. Takeru, Hajime, come in and meet your new brother."

The boys nearly fell over each other in entering the room, and Takeru got to hold him first. Nadeshiko just continued, quietly, eating her curry, holding her spoon like it was a precious object.

The years that followed, in the wake of Inou's birth, were some of the happiest in Ino's memory.

(And they were that much more painful to look back on, considering how unbearable everything had now become.)

Inou was not as quiet as Nadeshiko had been—which was more of a comfort than a problem, all things considered—and he grew up in an environment of soft things and flowers and storytelling. Since Takeru began school during his infancy, he was left with his mother and his sister and not often in the company of his brothers. As he grew and learned to walk, he did not rough-house, instead pressing up against people, avoiding conflict, and listening.

Sasuke treated him much like he did Nadeshiko. He was the third son, and the elder pair of the three were more immediate to him, in terms of attention.

Ino did not mind this at all. Inou was her son, first and foremost.

These were the times of little discoveries and soft, subtle love. Ino walked in on Nadeshiko reading to Inou in her bedroom, the boy clinging to his blanket while Nadeshiko balanced the book on her lap so he could look at the pictures. She did not disturb them, only wondering, when, exactly, Nadeshiko had learned to read, or if she was merely repeating words associated with the pages from when Ino read to her from the book.

She did not feel afraid to ask Sasuke for comfort, any more. Whenever she felt the obnoxious ache of need winding up in her stomach—and it seemed so much less persistent than it used to be—she knew she could lean over in bed, ask him quietly, and enjoy an evening of his usual, almost mechanical lovemaking. (She would ignore the sighs that usually came after her requests, however. She knew he didn't need it as much as she did.)

But then, one evening, Sasuke was fidgeting, and Ino, of course, asked him what the matter was.

"Well… I've been thinking. Four is sort of an unlucky number. I think I'll feel more at peace if we have five."

Ino had to think for a while about what, exactly, he was saying.

"You… want another child?" she eventually concluded.

"Yes. Do you suppose we could manage that?"

"There's… no reason why we can't?" Ino said.

"Ah, good. We should begin trying tonight, then."

Ino's answer was almost automatic, but then she paused.

Wondering if, perhaps, she could test even this.

"…maybe on the weekend, Sasuke. I'm not feeling up to it tonight."

"…ah. All right. Rest up, then."

"All right, Sasuke. Love you."

"Goodnight," he replied, his voice warm.

Ino went to bed almost giggling, gleeful in her control even here.

(Remembering how weak she had been, before Takeru was born. She hadn't said no then, and she hadn't when they were trying for Nadeshiko, either.)

(But she had power again.)

This was, of course, the year that Nadeshiko entered the academy. And her astonishing progress had Sasuke in an almost euphoric daze.

(Of course, she would come home from training with her father and brothers, and later not even that, with the usual scrapes and burns, but they never seemed as severe as Hajime's or Takeru's had been.)

Karai was born at home, like her older brother. None of the other children were present, since Sasuke had taken them out of the house to train as usual, as if nothing were really going on without them.

(Though Hajime seemed reluctant to leave. Ino comforted him by saying she didn't need his help, especially since he looked so uncomfortable.)

One month later, Nadeshiko graduated from the academy, with her brothers. There was a great and noisy celebration in the house, over this, with lots of food and far too much singing from Naruto, in Sasuke's opinion.

There was only one more year of peace, after that. And it was a glorious peace, golden in the way that the quiet past seems in times of war.

There was no comfort in the fact that Ino was not truly responsible for everything falling apart, after what happened with Nadeshiko.

But she still blamed herself.

Perhaps she could have talked to Nadeshiko, or her father more, and gotten her to come back sooner. Maybe she could have even convinced the girl to return to being a ninja, where her father couldn't.

None of that could have helped the loss of the warmth in Sasuke's heart.

His control over the family descended like a vice, in the wake of the incident.

He snapped at Ino for asking even the smallest things of him, calling her selfish, blaming her for their children turning out "so weak."

She fought back, at first. But before long it became too tiring to do even that, when the screaming matches lasted for eternities and the wind of his anger blew out whatever confidence she had, starting out.

(Besides, people might hear, especially the children.)

(Couples weren't supposed to fight. Not like this.)

She was reduced to wordless assistance, sneaking around and healing and mending when Sasuke wasn't looking.

He ignored her, otherwise, in most ways.

In a dark sort of blessing, her needs dried up around the time that Sasuke did.

(She felt almost sick to her stomach, imagining being with a man like that.)

Of course, she would have slept with him if he'd requested, fearing the fight that would doubtlessly ensue for her rebellion.

But there were no more children after that.

-/-

Ino awoke to the sound of a door opening, and she sat up, as if spring-loaded.

It was Karai at the door. Her body shrunk back at her mother's reaction. "I'm sorry, Mom, did I wake you up?"

"Just… taking a little cat-nap, dear, you're fine," Ino replied. "What is it? Is it time for dinner?" The light through the window was thick, and golden. It was still late afternoon, at least.

But Karai shook her head. "No, Mom, it's… there's an ANBU at the door. With news for us."

"An ANBU?" Ino stood up. "Why, what for?" A knuckle rose to her lips. "Is it your father?" she added, quietly.

Karai shook her head again. "No, it's… Yakata-kun," she replied. "He came back."