So you know who really lost? I guess tradition is still a tradition after all. So accept this only precious treasure I have, my fate, my future, my life.

Chapter 7: Into Her Heart

"What happens next?" Reiko asked her sister but she refused to say anything to her. She really wanted to know what happen after that so she grabbed the last letter on Keiko's hand and read it herself.

The penmanship was different this time. It is lot more readable and the paper is clean from any stain. The signature was not that of the man.

June 20, 2014

To my dearest Shin-chan,

They say that for every course we take, even the little move we decided to made, creates a series of event that predetermined the outcome of our life. Like the ripples created by throwing a stone in a body of water. The balance will be broken every time we decided to change an occurrence and it will lead us to different cross paths. Like life traps us in a maze and all we had to do is decide the best way we would take. The option would lead us to the path we wanted to be or doomed us all the way to our final destination.

For three times I have been stained by the blood of people I loved. First, when my mother protected me when I was still a baby. Second, from all of my thirty-three comrades and Shiro who were brutally killed by Kenichi just so they could protect me. And lastly, from you who I struck with my own sword despite you protecting me.

I am thinking all the things I have done in my life. The things, I could never ever return. They are long gone now. But if I could change something, I wanted to make it all better, all for you.

If you did not come to my fight and save me, maybe then I will be the one who stops breathing. If I did not close my eyes when I tried to gather my last strength to struck Kenichi with my sword, maybe then I should have seen you step between me and him. It would not have been you who falls down.

If Takao did not notice how you kill yourself everyday in training after the night we broke up, then maybe the two of you will not go to my house and discover all the graves I dug myself. You would not realize what happen and will not hurry in Kenichi's base.

If I have accepted the ring you wanted to give me that night, maybe I would not come to that awful place to revenge my fallen comrades. I've seen you hold on to that cold ring when you turn your back on me. I could not see your face but I felt how hurt you were. The cold water should have numbed my feelings and yet I wanted to hold you and feel your warmth again.

If I did not spent that night in our meeting place, maybe I am there in our house when Kenichi attacked my comrades. We will not die without a fight. I would have left you without hurting words. I would not have hurt you physically.

If we did not spent so much time together, I would not know how caring you are despite how you say. You were my eyes, you were my left hand, and you tried to complete my imperfect world. When we played that piano I saw our world blend in a perfect harmony. You brought back the soul in my eyes. I wanted to freeze our time that moment.

A little more from the past should be changed...

If you did not said you don't want me to go to your house. I will never stay the whole night and met your middle school friends. I would not notice how you missed playing with them. I will never know how you love playing basketball. You know, you really looked good while playing especially when you're shooting the ball. The slight swaying of your bangs after every jump and the confident gesture you make every time you release the ball were unparalleled to my eyes. I could watch it all day if I could.

If your family did not like me, I would not be able to go freely in your house. I will not have those adorable pictures of you that I love to see every day. Your baby pictures made me want to have one in my future. Is that possible now?

If I did not like you around, then I will never convince you to stay with me every day. If I did not like the warm you give me, I would not wrestle with you and let you won every night. I realized I wanted to sleep and wake up with you by my side every day.

If only you learned everything about me, then maybe you will no longer stick by my side. If I could go home without getting lost, you will never wake up with me on your top. If I haven't done that, I will never observe your face closely. I will never think that you looked handsome when you sleep. That you looked so peaceful unlike the stoic face you always wore around us. If I haven't like your sleeping face, you would not wake up every day with me on your room.

If you did not bring that stuffed toy in my house, they will never get angry with you. You will not fight for it and won. You will never be respected by the clan. You will never learn about my disability that day. You have made it complicated that day.

If I walked out before you finished cleaning the mess I made, you wouldn't have a chance to ask my birthday. If I have one, I would just tell you about it and not assume a date on my own. I would not be able to ask you to go to my house. Then you wouldn't learn that I'm a yakuza and I am a dangerous person. Why did you endanger yourself in the first place?

If I haven't lost and got to the gym where you train, then Takao would never reveal to your teammates who I am. No one except him will know I am your girlfriend. If there's nothing that came to me that moment, I would never save your face from those pineapples. But I could not help myself to protect you.

If I care about my classes, I would have met you for the first three months of my class. You would never be interested at me. I am never a good student, someone who will never be at your level. We will pass the same corridor every day and seat in the same row but never care about the existence of each other. It would be better that way.

If I haven't notice you were trying to jump in that gate, I would not bring you in myself. We will never meet Takao that morning and you will never learn my name. I will never learn yours too. I will not notice how quiet you are. You are gloomy without that friend of yours.

If we did not believe in our old tradition, I will not care if you save me from those thugs. I would not even talk to you after that incident. I will not even consider you a prospective husband.

If you did not believe in those horoscopes, would you still bring katana that day? Would you be able to scare away those thugs? Would you still save me?

If I haven't thought you were one of those thugs pestering me, then I would never throw one at you. Your katana would not even be stepped on. You will not be involved in that incident.

If I have a sense of direction, I would not even be there at the gate. I would have never met you. I will not be captured by those emerald eyes.

A little more from the past should be changed...

If my mother did not protect me, I should have died in that crash. They would not found me and I would not suffer the consequence of being alive.

If my mother and father did not die that day, we should have been a happy family living outside the country. My mother will teach me sword fighting while my father will teach me how to play the piano. It must have been good to have a real and normal family.

If my mother did not decided to leave the clan, I would not even be born. The problems I created while living will not exist in the first place. Maybe then you will be happy by yourself.

Did I regret everything that happens? If it meant you will be happy without me crashing in your world, then yes. I could sacrifice myself just so you live.

But I am lying. The truth is, from the first to our last day together, I am selfish. I am because I liked every moment I'm with you. I will never regret knowing you. If I could return to the path I have taken, I will take the same as you. I will be there even if I have to watch you from afar.

I am so selfish that despite all that happen, I will never regret falling in love with you. You made me felt the full spectrum of human emotions I would never thought I am capable of. You captured my heart. I will never take it back from you.

Your words will forever reverberate in my mind. Now I know why you only care for your fate and fortune. Because I am your fortune, I am your Tomiko.

Kaminari Tomiko

Into their present...

With obvious disadvantage and from fatigue, Kaminari was losing the battle badly. She received too much damage that she could not stand up straight but she held her sword firmly. She will not lose without a fight. She will not forgive Kenichi. She could still feel and smell her comrade's bloods in her hands.

Midorima got there and saw Kaminari was about to be stabbed by Kenichi. He saw Kaminari full of bloods in her clothes and she was breathing heavily. She did not have any strength left. He ran towards them.

Kenichi raise his swords. He was anticipating blood to splash in his face but his hand was block by someone. Midorima block himself between the two of them. He was facing Kaminari while Kenichi on his back. His right hand was holding the sword of the enemy preventing it to pierce Kaminari. Midorima was able to save her. He was glad.

Kaminari close her eyes anticipating Kenichi's swords. Feeling this will be the last of her breath she gathered her remaining strength, lifted her sword and pushed it forward. Even without seeing anything, she heard the crashing of the bones of the enemy. She could deduce three lower parts of his ribs broke, the sword impaled his lungs.

When she opened her eyes, she was shocked to see Midorima in her front, holding the sword of Kenichi. Midorima was smiling but suddenly blood poured from his mouth. She looked down and saw her own swords piercing his body.

Kaminari who lost a lot of strength could not react quickly. Midorima used his other hand to grabb her sword and pinned the enemy in his back. He then pulled the swords toward his body. The swords passed through from him towards Kenichi's chest. Kaminari could only hear their bones crashing.

She grabbed her sword back but Midorima won't let her. He was now hugging her tightly.

"Just stay like this, don't move" she heard him say. Kenichi was now struggling to breathe behind them. Later, his heart failed him and he fell down. His weight after falling crushed more Midorima's internal organs. Midorima had no choice but to pull the sword away from his body even if means he will lose more blood in the process.

Kaminari did not know what to do. Midorima's blood made her suddenly weak. Her face felt cold. She could not believe what happen.

"Why are you here? Are you stupid?" she finally said but her voice is shaking. She could not breathe well.

"Because I only cared for my fate and my fortune" Midorima was still playing it cool.

"Can't believe your horoscope said to be here, you freak" her heart was hurt. Her knees felt weak. She did not want to see him suffering.

"And you are still as stupid as when I first saw you" Midorima was coughing blood now.

Kaminari held his head high with her right hand and her paralyze left struggled to hold his hand. Midorima raised his right hand to touch her cheeks.

"Even if it's your name, you don't have idea what it means. I guess I would have to tell you. You are really bothersome you know.

"Tomiko, your name means fortune. I-I tried to tell you all along but I'm jus-just as everybody said, I-I can't express my feeling well.

"Is it too late to say that I-I love you?" Midorima finally close his eyes, using his strength to inhale but his lungs were failing him.

"And I am glad I was able to save you for real this time. That is my fate from the start." He tried to fake a laugh but bloods almost clog his throat making him cough and released more blood out of his mouth.

His hand fell down. He stops breathing then even Kaminari's shout could not reach him.

... Dates may not matter for some people. They will never know how hard you try to walk with them despite how lost you are that day. They will pass by you and will not notice how hard you try to hide tears in your eyes. They may notice how tears escape every now and then but will they care? How every object and place you looked into makes you remember the person you lost. How every moment you still could not believe that you lost that someone. How you wonder why you still breath despite every night you could not sleep thinking about him. How you tried to wake up every morning and wish the person would appear in your front and tell you, he had been waiting for you all this time.

Despite the smiles you fake every day and telling yourself that you were all right, inside you felt part of you are lost forever. It will never be back. You have gained holes in your heart that will never be fixed any more. You could never heal yourself because you really don't want to.

You were frozen in this time. You will never accept the lost.

tbc 8/9

A/n: Last chapter on its way.

Hmm reviews? ^_^