Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you might find remotely familiar.
I do apologize for taking almost two weeks to update, aside from the horrendously busy Holy Week that we had (especially last Friday, I really can't stand those crucifixions) my PC died and I had no backup. So I booted my old, slow laptop and started this chapter from scratch. *sobs*
Chapter 32: Visions Unclear
Nasuada watched Eragon and Murtagh talking in low voices while Serylda left to confer with Ash before their next lesson. She felt a twinge of sadness within her, remembering that it was how she used to be with her own twin.
How could Himeria betray the Varden – her family?
Murtagh caught her eye. He said something to Eragon before leaving his mudstained, weary-looking brother. He strode toward her, a strange gleam in his rust-colored eyes that perfectly matched his hair. He raised an eyebrow. "Something bothering you, Lady Nasuada?" he asked, half-mocking and half-serious.
Nasuada glared at him – though of course, she could never stay mad at him or any of their other friends. "Will you please stop calling me that?" she asked.
Murtagh grinned, apparently pleased to have struck a nerve. "That is the Nasuada that I know," he said with a relieved chuckle. "So please tell me what bothers you."
"Give me a good reason, and I shall."
The little handsome one is not aware of the effect that he has on you – or is he? Solaris noted.
Oh, do shut up. Nasuada gave her dragon a mental glare.
Murtagh crossed his arms. "You have been quietly isolating yourself as of late," he mused. He let out a puff of breath. "Something is the matter."
Caught. Trapped. Nasuada braced herself, knowing that she cannot lie. She was always bad at lying. Ajihad did not need five seconds to catch her in the act. Throwing caution to the wind, she voiced out the thing that had been bothering her for quite some time now.
"I am afraid."
The other Rider's eyes softened. "Fear. It is something we all must face. I fear for my brother. What do you fear, Nasuada, Daughter of Ajihad?"
"I am afraid of Himeria's betrayal." Nasuada shuddered involuntarily. "I keep wondering and wondering if she has something to do with Father's death, or if she even knew about it. I am afraid of what they are doing to her right now, or what she is plotting with them. I do not know how deep she is in with our enemies, and it terrifies me to no end."
"I would probably feel the same way." Murtagh turned away, his eyes darkening. "Betrayal from your own family would be more than painful. I could never betray Eragon. Or Roran. Or all of you. You're all family to me, now."
At that moment, Ash arrived, the soft forest breeze making her hair dance like pale wisps of gold. She went straight to Eragon. "Are you sure that you are well?" she asked.
Eragon grimaced. "Aye," he said. "I am well. But grimy."
"I am glad to hear that." Ash murmured something in the ancient language, and the mud dried on Eragon's clothes before falling off as dust. "We shall be forgoing the Rimgar today. We shall be continuing your exercises your clearings. It shall relax your bodies after your sparring with Serylda, and it is also an essential part of your training so we will be killing two birds with one stone." She grimaced. "Father hates that figure of speech."
After a few more words, the Riders retreated to their meditation areas. This time though, Nasuada had an even harder time concentrating. Thoughts of Himeria kept intruding upon her mind whenever she tried to fix upon a subject to observe.
Just how deep did her betrayal run?
Beautiful one, Solaris said, her voice barely more than a whisper. Please, do not burden yourselves with things that are beyond our control… It will not help us now. It never will.
A tear ran down Nasuada's cheek. She is my blood. And I cannot bear the thought of her having something to do with my father's death.
Iron-hard anger burned within Solaris. If she does you and those you hold dear any harm, she will burn.
Lunch this time was spent in Oromis' hut. The Riders – subdued and weary from the advancement in their training –glared at their food sullenly, but it didn't matter to Roran.
He was starving.
He attacked the nuts, fruits and bread with gusto. He missed eating meat, but he had to make do with what he had. After all, he was a growing boy and he had to keep up his strength. He caught Arya staring at him with a slightly nauseous look. "What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "I am hungry. Are you not starving after that rigorous training we have gone through?"
"Hungry?" the elf said, rolling her eyes. She nibbled at her bread. "I would rather lie down and sleep than eat another bite."
"It is barely midday, and yet you already complain like a child."
"I am tired." Arya crossed her arms, as if that settled it.
Right as they finished their meals, Oromis strode in, a scroll in hand. He nodded to the young Riders. "I see that you are done with your meal. Was it sufficiently filling?"
None of them answered. Eragon and Murtagh seemed ready to explode with questions, though. Roran himself had a question of his own. "Master," he began. "Do we all need to meditate?"
Oromis regarded him with those unnerving eyes of his. "Of course. It is something all Riders in training must do."
"But why?" Murtagh picked up the next question. "I mean, is it simply for us to understand how animals and insects of all kinds live their lives? Is there something more? Something deeper?"
"It is difficult," added Katrina. She caught Roran momentarily with her silvery gaze. She turned red and looked away. "We can barely listen to two creatures at once. How can we listen to everything in our clearing until we hear no more?"
"That is something that Ash should be explaining to you. After all, is she not the one who is putting you through that?" Oromis set down his scroll on a shelf. "Nevermind. Very well, I shall explain. It is always thus with most new students – even the elven ones. The mind is the last muscle most people train or use. They barely regard it as a muscle or weapon of its own. Ask them about swordplay and they can probably describe every blow from an obscure duel. But ask them to solve a problem or make a coherrent statement? I would be lucky to get more than just a blank stare in return. All of you – even you, Arya – are quite new in the world of gramarye, as magic is properly called. I still wish for you to begin considering its full implications."
After a few more discussions regarding imaginary situations and the way magic works, Oromis stated that he will start training the Riders' minds with the help of debating. "For example, why do you fight the Empire?" he asked. "I know you all have reasons."
"I lost my father because of Galbatorix and his Forsworn," Arya said simply. "And traveling throughout the land, I have seen the suffering that they have put the humans through. Dwarves and elves are restricted to their mountains and woods. There is no freedom."
Nasuada frowned. "I grew up in the Varden, hearing stories of the Empire's attrocities. I grew up with the dream of liberating people from the king's clutches." She paused uncomfortably. "They killed my father and brainwashed my sister. They tore my family apart. I have every reason to fight."
Eragon set down his cup calmly. "I want to help those who suffer from Galbatorix's rule. I grew up in a place which was too far for him to oppress constantly, but we felt it. And when we became Riders and he began to intrude upon our lives… I have also seen the suffering he has wrought upon the rest of Alagaesia."
Katrina looked down. "My mother fights for the Varden now. And I wish to follow her footsteps. I'm not just a butcher's daughter who strives to be a perfect wife. I am a Rider and I have duties to the land. I have the means to help Alagaesia. Why shouldn't I?"
"She is right. But aside from that, I want to keep those dear to me safe," Murtagh said. "Thorn, my brothers, my Uncle, my friends… None of us are truly safe as Riders, but we can not feel secure enough while Galbatorix and his Forsworn rule the land."
Everyone looked at Roran. He shrugged. "I am keeping my family together. The six of us and our dragons. We are family." He blinked. "And I want to give our enemies a taste of their own medicine. They have sown chaos for far too long. It is time for peace to be known."
"So many reasons… So deep for ones so young," Oromis mused. "Revenge, family… Yet you also fight for a similar cause, do you not? You fight for humanitarian reasons."
That was new. "What do you mean?"
"What he meant is that we are fighting to help people." Arya explained.
"Correct." Oromis regarded them placidly. "You fight to help those that Galbatorix has harmed, and wish to stop him and his Forsworn from hurting any more. But picture this: Won't waging war with the enemy Riders cause more pain than it will prevent? Most people in the Empire live normal, productive lives untouched by the madness. Your valley is one such place – aside from Enduriel and the Ra'zac's small skirmish. Could you justify the invasion of their land? You will destroy homes, kill sons and daughters."
The Riders did not speak. But Galbatorix is evil… Eragon mused in their minds. Does this make us evil too? How can we prove that what we are doing is right?
Galbatorix must be overthrown, Murtagh agreed. But can we justify open warfare and slaughter?
Arya frowned. Yes, look at what he did to the Riders. But that might not be the question…
The Riders kept quiet, all drowned in their own thoughts and the repercussions of a quest to overthrow the Black King. Oromis folded his hands in his lap. "I must have upset you."
"Somewhat," Nasuada admitted.
Oromis nodded, as if that explained everything. "Very well, then you must all continue to ponder until you come up with an answer that is not just convincing, but is something that you must all agree upon."
Roran felt Askanir listening intently. Do you have an answer for us?
I do. But you little ones must figure it out for yourself.
Do you know how infuriating that is?
Elbow-deep in pens, ink and paper, Nasuada glared at her clumsy imitation of the Liduen Kvaedhi – the written form of the ancient language – which was elegant but terribly difficult. Though she was well-educated – as well-educated as a child raised in the Varden could be, that is – learning how to write in the elven script was a whole new experience for her.
"I used to enjoy learning how to read in write," muttered Murtagh. "But this is tedious work."
Nasuada kept herself from chuckling. She glared at him instead. "Are you trying to make me laugh, my dear friend?"
"I am merely making a comment."
"Barzul!" Arya cried out from across the table. The tip of her pen snapped, splattering her face with deep gold ink. She hissed angrily in the ancient language, making the ink drip onto her paper and leaving her face clean. "I've never been pushed this hard before."
"Then this would be a good difference," Katrina told her patiently.
Arya groaned. "I grew up reading things written in the Liduen Kvaedhi but I never expected that writing it is difficult."
"Now, now, I believe most young elves learn it," Nasuada told her with a smile. "You just started late."
Arya nodded, graceful as always. "I wish my mother did not neglect my studies. Most elven children started learning many things when they reach their tenth name day, but since my father died, she just let me wander around Ellesmera all day."
Roran nodded absent-mindedly. "Arya, my father told me once that we cannot undo the past. The best thing to do is to move forward. Let us do our best so that we do not disappoint our masters."
Nasuada kept her eyes on her parchment. She did another attempt at the glyph for the sun. It would make a good name for a sword. Hearing Roran's words, she finally felt lighter. She cannot do anything to prevent Himeria's betrayal, but she will do her best to save her sister and protect her family.
There was supposed to be a dragon POV in the original draft, but I couldn't quite recreate it the way I wanted it to look so I just went ahead and bombarded you guys with MxN fluff. Sorry about that :/
Once again, I thank you guys for checking out the errors in my chapters, I will be getting to that soon. Really soon. I appreciate your sharp eyes because mine are really bad, hence the really thick eyeglasses
I miss Carvahall... I might end up writing a chapter about them soon. Like, REALLY soon. 3
Anyway, read and review as always, you guys! I love you all, you patient, awesome readers you!