"Commander please understand. You are asking an awful lot of us, given the losses we have just taken." Councilor Tevos voice pleading from the table where she and Liara were sitting. Shepard was of course pacing around the circular furniture. Trying (and failing) to keep her temper.
"The losses you have taken? "She asks pointedly at the Asari. "Until a few days ago Thessia had been relatively untouched. You said it yourself when you refused to help Earth that the delay would help your people better prepare for the onslaught. How did that work out for you?"
The pain in the woman's eyes almost makes Shepard feel guilty. Almost.
"I am trying to help you Councilor. You know that." She tries to show some emotion that she really did not pauses to let the woman nod. "I understand this is not something that Asari usually do. But you have seen Earth and Palaven bleeding for weeks. Do you think your Commandos can do the same? Yes you have ships like the Destiny Assentation but you need crews to man them."
"But we have no standing army like you or the Turrians. With our lifecycles even the loss of a few units is beyond bear." She protested unaware of her implications.
Shepard feels her blood boiling. She clenches her fists, feeling her nails dig four crescent cuts into the flesh of her palms. For more than the first time she thanks whatever cosmic force there was that she had not been born a biotic for fear she would have thrown this woman across the expanse of the room.
Liara's eyes go wide as she sees the Commander react. She puts a hand on the Councilors arm before Shepard's reply.
"Are you saying your lives are worth more than ours? Do you think the Primarch's wife grieves for her son any less than you do for your lost daughters? "She takes a deep breath to let her words sink in before going on.
She tried to center herself as Thane had taught her. Find the inner calm that she needed so badly right now. Who knew how many lives might be hanging on an overly cautious Asari right now. Not to mention a rage driven soldier.
"I know this war is unlike anything you have seen Councilor. It is unlike anything anyone has ever seen but we can not scatter to the winds and hope it will blow over. It will not." She goes on." Dr. T'soni has spent decades researching the Prothean extinction. We found a live Prothean. Their war lasted over a century. Your people might be able to hide for that long but what will be left of the galaxy for them if they do?"
If Shepard had been a compassionate woman she might have felt bad for the councilor. If she had been compassionate she might have taken the not so subtle plea to back off in Liara's eyes. If she had been compassionate she would not have blown the Alpha Relay and none of them might be standing here now. She was a solider and she did what she did best. She pushed ahead.
"I am not asking for you to give me command of your troops. I am trying to give your people a fighting chance. After what we saw on Thessia and as you yourself have pointed out your Commandos are not used to long term warfare, this is another alternative. I spoke with Matriarch Aethyta who thought it was a good idea. She even offered her own commandos to start."
Tevos frowned looking between the two. "Yes I am aware of your relationship with the Matriarch Dr. T'soni. " She tries to deflect.
"You were aware of her relationship to Benenzia as well. Does that mean you should not listen to her intel about the Protheans or Geth? As I recall you were even the one who told me to track Liara down because of that relationship."
"There is another alternative Commander." The Councilor starts. This was what she had been holding back on Shepard could see in the Asari's body language.
God she hated politics, no wonder Anderson had quit. This woman had sat on her hands for weeks and now with her ass against the wall was still trying to negotiate like she had a leg to stand on. Shepard turned and stood at ease clearing her face of all expression.
"Given what you are proposing I think it best that you would talk it over with Specter Alenko. Granted his confirmation was ah.. unconventional it still seems like a waste of resources to have two Specters aboard the same ship. I will confer with High Command but if I can assure him a ship for this Biotic Bootcamp idea it might go a long way to encouraging recruitment."
"What do you mean it was unconventional?" Liara blurts out. It was odd to see the Shadow Broker taken by surprise but Shepard's face might as well have been made of stone.
"Normally the process can take weeks so the Council can look at candidates and have them evaluated in field. But Udina was insistent that it had to been the Major and him alone. "
"I will have to confer with the Major. He turned down several positions within the Alliance to be involved with our mission." Was all Shepard said.
"That sounds good." The Councilor agrees thinking she had won a compromise. "Perhaps while we wait for your other biotic specialists to arrive I shall make contact with High Command."
They agree and stand to leave. Shepard and Liara head to the Commons but Shepard does not even bother to open her omnitool. They stop on the stairs overlooking the water. Liara had confided it was one of her favorite spots on the Citadel.
"You don't have to tell him you know." She does not look at the Commander but she can feel the barely contained anger coming off the woman in waves.
"I can't do that."
"You don't owe Tevos anything."
"It's not because of her."
"I see. What do you make of her comment about his Specter status."
"Not unexpected."
"Shepard stop being evasive." Liara lets the exasperation show in her voice. It was bad enough that she was horrible at reading humans but this woman made it impossible.
"Udina pushed him to take the position. Udina made the council accept him. Udina allied himself with Cerebrus." Shepard's hands were wrapped around the rail now, her knuckles white but her voice was still flat.
"And the Illusive Man knew about you and Kaidan because of Horizon." Liara finishes the rest that Shepard had left unsaid. "Would you have done it?" She asks much more soft, looking over the other woman's face for any trace of emotion.
"Kaidan and Garrus asked me the same thing."
"What did you tell them?"
"Kaidan no and Garrus yes." Her eyes lower for a second but that is all.
"And what do you tell yourself Shepard?"
"That I never want to be in that position again."
The idea of Kaidan being used as a human shield bothered Liara and she had not even been with Shepard at the time. The idea that Udina thought that Kaidan might have only slowed Shepard down terrified her. She wanted to believe that Shepard would not be able to do something like that but even now Shepard was unreadable.
Shepard could see the other woman's unease. She had seen it in many other's faces before and would again as long as this war kept going as it was. Those who liked to pretend they were above combat always looked at her like that. She was a monster and they were not. She was heartless and made the impossible decisions without pity or remorse. Let them think that, it made things easier.
She sighs and shakes her head. That line of thought would not help right now. The adreline from her meeting must have had more of an effect on her than she had realized. Shepard turns to look at Liara for the first time. The Asari looked like she had been thrown in the emotional wringer, in dire need of consolation.
"I am sorry about bringing up your parents like that Li."
"No you were right. And my mother did try to redeem herself at the very end. That is what I want to remember. I miss her Shepard, I can't help but wonder how things would be different if she were here right now." Liara motions toward the chambers upstairs. "Do you…Do you miss your own?"
"I know it's horrible to say but I can't even remember what she looks like. Given what happened to the woman they captured on Mindoir I wonder if that was deliberate." She admits.
"I am sorry I brought it up then. Perhaps when this is all over I can look into it for you."
"Maybe." Shepard replies noncommittally. After their initial rough start Shepard had come to rely on Liara and her information and after the ordeal with the Shadow Broker she had come to trust her intentions if not her instincts about people. Since the Asari had rejoined the crew she had made it a point to seek her out more on her crew checks.
The Asari smiles and wraps her arms around Shepard's left arm and leaned her head on the human's shoulder. The negations would be difficult but having a contented Shadow Broker and a rebel Matriarch made it a little easier. Shepard leans into Liara for a few moments just looking at the view the Asari enjoyed so much.
"I guess we should get back to it then. I am gonna hit the Normandy for a few. Call me if you need me okay?"
A/N First off I am not a Liara fan so if anyone has any suggestions how to make her dialogue seem more genuine please feel free to let me know :) I have no problem admitting this chapter was a bear to write, in no small part because of my inabilities and a case of writers block.