Here we go! Yet another long awaited chapter. I really need to get my shiz together. I haven't updated anything in months... who would have guessed that ACT and SAT prep would be so time consuming?
ANYWAY! YAY! FREMIONE! Who will Fred ask for advice from next!? READ ON AND FIND OUT!
Read. Rate. Review. Be jolly and Enjoy poprocks.
Merlin have mercy on him. He was going to regret this... in fact, he was regretting it already. He was taking an inordinate amount of interest in the grain on the table he currently sat at. Fred really couldn't give a damn what the stain was or how many rings there were. He just wanted to escape the scrutiny of his brother's gaze. Really though, the eyes currently staring at him were going to make him go up in flames.
"You're joking," Bill said with a smirk that reminded Fred of George just a little too much.
"Not at all."
"But Fred... you've never had girl trouble. Ever! It's what I enjoy most 'bout you! You have a certain foolish ease around them. It's amusing as hell." Bill laughed and had a far off look in his eyes.
Fred did't particularly like to think about how easy all the other girls had been. That sounded a bit bad; all the other girls. There had been a few, okay, a lot, but not as many as Charlie had had. Fred took great care when it came to picking who he spent his time on. He was a successful business man and a professional prankster; he didn't have time to be spending time on dating. He knew exactly how to calculate the least amount of time he would have to spend with a girl to get her into his bed. He wouldn't tell anyone how proud he was of that, especially Hermione. She'd knock him down a few time with some nasty hexes. He shuddered at the thought.
"Look, Bill, You're married which means you clearly have the best long term success rate out of us Weasley bunch. I'm in a bit of a bind. I could get out, mind you, if she wasn't such a damn enigma! I mean, really, I think she's going to go left and she goes right. I think she wants sweet and the damn wench goes for savory." Fred grumbled to himself. He was beginning to frustrate himself.
Bill was choking back a laugh. He had never seen Fred like this. Hermione had really wound him up. Bill had always known that the twins were too smart for their own good which often led to boredom, and with Fred and George, that led to pranks. They just couldn't sit still. Fred had never been the level headed one in the duo, but he wasn't an idiot. He had mystified Bill as a child and mesmerized him as an adult. Seeing him practically tearing his hair out of Hermione Granger was... well, worth his annual salary.
"I don't really know what to say..." Bill tried.
"Anything! I'll try anything at this point. She's driving me loony! I don't know what to do to get her to see that I'm..." He flushed and cut himself off.
"You're?" Bill smiled. His little brother was in love with the brightest witch of her age. Merlin, help him!
Bill could imagine them in a years time, engaged and living together, the house in a constant whirlwind. Hermione would be hunched over a pile of books with hair all mussed up looking like something Crookshanks had thrown up and Fred would be working on a new item for the store. Fred would get bored and move towards Hermione to bother her. She would playfully smack him and tell him to go back to work but they would end up laughing and kissing.
"I'm nothing," Fred forced a cough, "You're giving advice."
"I suppose I ought to at least try." Bill ran a hand through his long hair. "I guess, I would suggest trying to reason with her logical side. Show her that you're the bet possible option for her. You need to make her see you as a potential partner and not just a friend. Identify yourself as an Alpha male."
"How the bloody hell am I supposed to do that!?" Fred looked at him with wide blue eyes. His brother had gone mad!
"Hmmm..." Bill leaned back in his chair. "Financially? Take her out and buy her something... I don't know, Fred. You're a smart kid. Figure it out yourself. I already have a wife. I don't need to worry about how to help you get one!" Bill rolled his eyes.
Fred sputtered. "I'm not...Th-that is... I wasn't... You're barmy! I was just looking for a bit of fun!" He stood abruptly, knocking over his seat and he huffed away.
What. An. Arse. Bill thought with a chuckle.
There we go. Sorry, it is short and unedited and improper in most places but quite franky, at the moment I don't give a damn!
Thanks so much. REVIEW PLEASE!