Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found
To take its place... Hey jealousy
And you can trust me not to think
And not to sleep around
If you don't expect too much from me
You might not be let down
(Song is Hey Jealousy by Gin Blossoms)
Realizing Robin hadn't come down to dinner yet, Regina rises from the table with a huff, "Regina? Where are you going? We're about to have dinner." Granny asks, causing Regina to stop and turn back to the table.
"I need to get something from my room. Do you mind?" Regina asks sharply. She then turns back and heads out of the dining hall. She quickly makes her way to Robin's bedchamber. Pulling open the door, she's struck by several things at once, and her brain struggles to make sense of it all.
First, there's a red dress lying discarded at her feet. Second, there are soft moans—both male and female—in the otherwise silent room. She keep her eyes cast down on the dress, knowing she'll never be able to un-see Robin's heart-shattering betrayal.
Just as quickly as she opens it, she pulls the door closed and stands there, her mouth hanging open, hot tears staining her cheeks. The fact that they had made love last night makes this moment ten thousand times worse. She feels like her heart has been ripped from her chest and forced through a meat grinder.
It seems as if Robin has found his Mrs. Right, someone who can give him exactly what he wants. The contents of her stomach rising, she runs for her bedchambers. As soon as she closes the door behind her, a cry slips from her lips.
Fuck.
Hot tears sting her eyes as she sinks onto the cold floor in the room, sobbing. She pulls her knees up to her chest and lowers her face into her own body. With disgust, she realizes that last night meant nothing to him. She was just an easy fuck, one last plaything for the man whore that he evidently is. How foolish she feels now to fall for his act, the one where he pretended to be a decent human being—funny, humble, and kind—but that's all it was. An act.
Pushing herself up off the floor, she dries her eyes with tissue and makes her way to her vanity. She looks into the mirror, not quite used to seeing herself looking like this. Like someone obviously devastated over someone else. She would never trust another human being again. She would keep to herself and keep herself as far away from Robin Hood as possible.
Twenty minutes later, a knock sounds at her bedchamber door. She gets up from her seat and heads to the door to open it, before she does so she composes herself. She wipes her tears away from her face, straightens her dress as she opens the door.
"Regina? What's wrong?" Mary Margaret asks the second Regina opens the door.
"What makes you think something's wrong?" Regina asks.
Mary Margaret gaze drifts to the glass bottle in Regina's hands. "Don't you think it's a little early to drink Vodka?"
Regina closes her eyes, before she makes a sad acceptance of how upset she is.
"Can I come in Regina?"
Regina opens the door wider and motions her forward. "Only if you promise to give me some hope speech."
Mary Margarets nods as she walks into the room. Regina closes the door behind her and together they head over near the two chairs by the fireplace. Regina sits down, but Mary Margaret goes over to a table and pours them both a drink. She heads back and gives Regina a goblet before she sits down, she watches as she takes a long sip of it.
"I've fucked up."
Mary Margaret looks over at Regina, surprised to hear the crack in her voice. But before she can ask, a bitter cry burst from Regina's throat and tears begin to spill down her cheeks. And then she starts to spill out her heartbreak.
"I'm such an idiot. I opened myself up again after I had buried my heart," Regina lets out.
"Regina, you're not an idiot."
"Don't start the hope speech."
"Did you fall in love with Robin?" Mary Margaret knows the chemistry and somewhat animosity between them, has witnessed the times they have zinged one another.
"It felt real to me." Regina whispers out. "I fell in love with him like a world class idiot, we made love last night. It was the most earth shattering sex of my life. His son loves to follow me around like my little shadow."
"What did he do?" Mary Margaret asks carefully.
"I heard him, screwing someone else."
"Regina are you sure?"
Regina looks at her as if she has just grown horns on her head,"Yes, I'm sure! I know what it sounds like when you're having sex with someone else."
"I didn't mean it like that. But if it was him, then his behavior is outrageous," Mary Margaret amends ,"I just didn't think he was like that. I've seen the amazing chemistry you two share."
"It doesn't matter anymore."
"Regina, you can't let one decision made by a jackass ruin your future."
"You don't get it. You never did," Regina says coldly. "You don't know what it's like to watch someone in front of you die, someone that you are in love with."
"I've known loss, Regina."
The ominous tone isn't loss on either women. They both know what Mary Margaret means, the death of her father. The death that was caused by Regina.
"But you have always known what true love felt like. You've never loss that, not really."
"I may have never truly loss David, but-"
"You remember when you thought Katherine was pregnant by David? You remember that pain?"
Mary Margaret takes a sip of her own drink before she responds, "Yes, I quite remember."
"Then you know what I'm talking about."
Mary Margaret is quiet for several moments before she asks, "Well, what are you going to do now?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, what are you going to do about Robin?" Mary Margaret asks.
Just then a knock sounds on her door, Mary Margaret gets up and goes to answer it. "David?"
"What do you want?" Regina asks as she stands and wipes the tears from her cheeks.
He looks from his wife over to Regina,"Is this girl talk?"
Mary Margaret nods.
"You might as well make yourself at home as well." Regina says as she goes over and pours herself another drink, as well as making one for David.
David still looks wary, like he wants to make an escape but is silently checking with his wife to be sure it's okay.
"Actually," Mary Margaret says as she drums her fingers on the arm of the chair, "we might be able to use your opinion."
David takes a stand at the fireplace as his wife and Regina look up at him.
"Is it okay?" Mary Margaret asks.
Regina takes a large gulp of her drink, polishing it off. "As long as you keep these coming."
David chuckles. "Coming right up." He says as he takes her drink and refills it.
"I'm not drinking alone, and since you're a goody two shoes, that leaves lover boy."
Mary Margaret merely rolls her eyes. "You two are going to be fun to deal with later."
"Now what in the world is going on that the three of us are drinking?" David asks.
An hour later, in Regina's chambers is a drunken Evil Queen, Prince Charming, and a slightly buzzed Snow White.
"Fuck." David pushes his hands into his hair. "I knew something was going on. But this shit with some other woman, it just doesn't make sense. He likes you; he really does."
That revelation doesn't mean much. Robin might have liked her, but not enough apparently.
"Has he ever been known to . . ." Regina pauses, looking at David.
"Go ahead," David says, encouraging her.
"Has Robin ever been known to hook up with someone like that, randomly?"
David drinks out of his goblet, not looking up.
"Tell me," Regina demanded.
"I heard some of his men talking about some barmaids-"
"Guys, this isn't helping." Mary Margaret says.
"Right. Sorry." David rises to his feet. He returns with a bottle. "We need to turn this into a proper post-breakup pity party. Pizza or Chinese?"
"Neither, we're not in Storybrooke anymore." Mary Margaret reminds him.
"Both," Regina says, grinning. She waves her hands and several pizzas and some Chinese food appears on the table beside her.
Later as they sit there, eating plates of egg rolls, lo mein, and pepperoni pizza, David offers a solution.
"I could just go talk to Robin. Find out the truth of what the fuck happened today."
In her buzzed state, Regina considers it for a second. Then shakes her head. "No way," she says. "He'll try to talk his way out of it. So, no," she repeats. "He needs some time to sit and ponder what he did wrong. There's no redemption for him tonight. Let him suffer in silence."
David nods and then looks over at his wife who is sound asleep now on Regina's bed.
"Lightweight," Regina says as she pours herself another shot.
"Always has been." David says as he pulls his seat closer to Regina and she smiles and pours him another shot as well.
"Sooo...charming...tell me something..." Regina murmurs out. "Why didn't you ever stray from Snowy?"
"True...love," David responds as he takes another gulp of his drink. "She had me from the day she stole from me."
"And you fell for a thief," Regina said as she rolls her eyes.
"Hey! At least mine doesn't smell," David mumbles out as he takes another drink.
"Yeah...well...mine-"
"Yours?" David asks with a smirk.
Regina curls her top lip up slightly as she then says, "Well at least mine knows how to handle his liquor."
David looks over at a slightly snoring Mary Margaret on Regina's bed. "Okay, you have a point there. I have to admit to sharing a drink or two with Robin."
Regina takes a drink before asking,"When was this?"
"I went to the stable one day to have a drink, and he had some golden arrows with him," David said.
"Oh."
"I'm to assume this was some sort of payment to him?" David inquired.
"Not the one he wanted." Regina mumbles under her breath.
"What was that?" David asks.
"Nothing."
"Well at least my thief looks very good in her outlaw outfit," David said.
"I beg to differ. Have you seen the way Robin's clothes cling to him, to that butt of his?" Regina asks.
"No, I can honestly say I haven't," David answers.
"Looks even better out of them," Regina says with a huge smile on her face.
"That explains a lot," David says as he goes to refill their glasses.
"What is that suppose to mean?" Regina asks as she watches him check on his wife before making his way back to his seat beside her.
"Just that you have been in a good mood until today," David says.
"What are you trying to say?" Regina asks.
"It means, that..well...he put a smile on your face obviously," David says.
"I put a bigger one on his face," Regina says defiantly.
"He has been happy," David says.
"It obviously wasn't enough," Regina says.
"Regina, go to him and let him explain himself," David says as he takes her hand in his.
"Four times," Regina comments.
"Excuse me?"
"I put a smile on his face four times last night," Regina says.
"I didn't need to know this," David says.
"Wait, that's not right," Regina says as she closes her eyes. "Seven times, I forgot the door, the mirror and the balcony."
"I really didn't need to hear all this," David says.
"Hear all what?" a voice says from behind them. Regina and David turn to look behind them to see, the person in this conversation they have been having lately.
Robin Hood.
"I'll...get Mary Margaret," David says as he stands up, Regina holds onto his hand until he pulls away. David goes to Regina's bed and picks up his sleeping wife and carries her out of the room. Robin shuts the door behind them.
"Get out!" Regina yells at Robin.
"What? Why?" Robin asks as he walks up to her.
"I got what I wanted out of you," Regina says as she stands up.
"Excuse me? You got what out of me?" Robin asks.
"Oh please. I got a few hours of pleasure and now it's time for you to make yourself scarce," Regina says as she hiccups just then.
"Regina? Have you been drinking?" Robin asks.
"If I have it's no...no business of yours," Regina says defiantly.
"Why are you doing this, Regina? Why are you pushing me away?" Robin demands from her.
"I do what I want, when I want. And what I want now is for you to disappear," Regina moves her hands and Robin is magically moved back to his bedchambers. Because she knows he would come back she puts a protection spell around her bedchamber to keep him out.
"Regina!" Robin yells from the outside of her room a few moments later. "Open this door!"
After a few more minutes of Robin yelling for her to open the door and talk to her, she hears only silence. Regina lays down on her bed and just closes her eyes.
A few days later, Regina is summoned to Mary Margaret's chambers that she shares with David. As she knocks on the door, it opens and she walks in thinking Mary Margaret is on the back side of the door, but as she turns around she sees Robin leaning up against it.
"I've been trying to talk to you alone, for days now," he says, his voice soft.
Regina presses her lips together, trying not to say something that involves the words fuck and you. Just get through this, Regina. She keeps telling herself that she can do this. Like ripping a bandaid off.
"I've been busy," Regina answers.
"I just don't understand what happened," he says. "We had just made love and the next day you start treating me like you first did when we met."
Regina inhales deeply through her nose, trying to calm down. But after the last few days, her tolerance for bullshit is at an all time low.
"What happened was I'm an idiot. I'm a Queen, and I let my need for sex get in the way of everything. It was a mistake. It won't happen again." She keeps her tone cold, and if she could pat herself on the back for sounding so aloof, she would.
Robin's eyes are dark, stormy, and conflicted. "I was falling in love with you."
"And see, that's where I call bullshit. I heard you and that trollop in your room."
His dark brows draw together, and his perfectly kissable lips part as his expression changes to one of confusion. "What exactly did you hear?"
"There was a dress on the floor. And I heard moans."
He nods, not denying it.
"Why didn't you just admit to me from the start that you were into screwing other women?"
"I had no idea you saw that. The only thing I knew is that we made love, admitted our growing feelings, and then you were gone."
Regina looks down at my hands. "I saw, Robin. And then I left, because I just couldn't do it anymore."
"Do what?" Robin asked.
"This! I'm not going to be your stand by for you to pound your arrow into when you can't get any elsewhere!" Regina yells, her hurt coming out.
"Let me explain a few things to you," he says, his tone precise. "For some reason, David came to my room and asked me to go with Little John and Friar Tuck to check the eastern part of the forest. He asked that we take our time."
He leans forward, his hands gripping the sides of her chair. Regina looks up, and his blue eyes are filled with regret.
"Only one small problem, I forgot my quiver and came back up and walked into...Mary Margaret and David in my bed...having sex. I quietly shut the door and left them. I didn't want to have you walk in on that and assume the worst. Which is apparently what happened."
Regina's throat threatens to close. No. . . She thought Robin was in there with some unknown woman fucking like rabbits. Her eyes wouldn't let her look.
"Have you nothing to say?" Robin demands.
"So you didn't fuck someone else?"
"God, no."
Regina takes a deep breath. "So there's no one else here you want?"
"There are nice people here. But they never stood a chance, as it turns out, I've already given my heart to someone else."
Regina swallows, so badly wanting to believe he's talking about her, but she can't let herself go there just yet.
"And to top it all off, you were gone. Nowhere to be found. And you have been avoiding me for days now."
"I'm sorry about that. I thought you were in there fucking someone else. And after what we shared that night . . ." Her mouth goes dry, and she can't continue.
"I understand. I get it. It was just a really tough weekend to get through. I thought you weren't speaking to me for some reason. And I want you to know, I had no interest in anyone else whatsoever."
"It was a difficult weekend for me too." Regina admitts quietly.
"I want you to know that night meant everything to me."
She can't look up and meet his eyes. She doesn't trust herself.
"You really are an amazing woman, Regina." He smiles at her fondly with those dimples that she has grown to love. "Even when you are jealous."
"Jealous? Jealous of what?" Regina asks defiantly.
Robin has the audacity to just smirk at her."I love you too, milady."
"Love? I never admitted-" Before Regina could finish, Robin brings his lips down on top of hers, effectively silencing her protest. He parts her lips and delves his tongue into the honeyed sweetness of her mouth, and Regina forgets what she was about to say.
The next thing she knows she is on the bed, Robin is on top of her and the feel of his weight pressing comfortably against her, his erotic kisses, and the velvet roughness of his hand beneath her skirt, is like touching a flame to dry kindling. She opens her legs and he responds without hesitation to the invasion, sliding his fingers into her wet warmth and touching the pad of his thumb to her most sensitive spot, and the flame burst into a million sparks. She wraps her arms around his neck and returns his kisses full measure, demanding as much as she gives, and more, as Robin strokes the blaze, quickly bringing her passion to a fevered pitch. Then, just when she thought she couldn't bear another second without having him inside her, he withdraws.
He kisses the tip of her nose and rises from the bed. Amusement dancing in his blue eyes and a knowing smile touching his mouth as he gazes down on her flushed face. He begins straightening their clothes," We're going to be late for dinner," he remarks offhandedly.
Rising up on her elbows, Regina glowers at him from beneath her lashes. "Do you mean to tell me you got me all worked up just to walk away and leave me all...all..."
"Hot?" Robin finish for her. His blue eyes smoldering. "Feeling as if your entire body is on fire? As if you might die if the blaze isn't extinguished soon?"
Regina bits her bottom lip, "Yes."
"Good. Now you know how you have made me feel when I can't have you." Robin said as he moves from the bed and starts walking towards the door.
Regina seizes a pillow and hurls it at him. "Damn you! I'll make you pay for this!"
Robin's hearty laughter fills the room, "Later, my love," he drawls suggestively, before adding. "We wouldn't want there to be some misunderstanding between the prince and the princess now would we?"
Regina gets up from the bed, and as she starts to follow him out of the room, she turns and smiles devilishly before conjuring up an item and putting it under one of the pillows on Mary Margaret and David's bed.
"I'll have my revenge," Regina says as she starts walking out of the door and goes down to the hall with Robin.
Later on, right after dinner a yell could be heard throughout the castle, "David! Why do you have a pair of Regina's knickers in our bed?"
Regina laying at Robin's side in her bed, just smiles.