It never ceased to amaze Kaidan how peaceful Shepard looked when she was sleeping, how much younger. After mutually wearing each other out Shep had acquiesced to staying in the bed "just a few minutes more" and it had had the effect he had hoped it would.

With a light touch he ran the pad of his thumb down between her brows. The worry line that had almost permanently taken up residence there released in the few moments she allowed herself to sleep in his arms. He traced his finger down her nose and across her cheek. For a moment he could almost see the faint white scar that had once crossed her high nose that he had often traced as he was doing now. But that like many other small things had been changed since the SR-1 they had led to a stronger woman.

She had been self-conscious after Apollo he now knew. It had not dawned on him at the time but more so than the bruises or how much she was pushing herself beyond any real physical limit it was the lack of memories that had been present on her body that she was worried he would reject.

You rejected her on Horizon because of the orange ones, that and rumors. That dark voice reminded him.

The scar on the bridge of her nose had been faint, mostly obscured by the smattering of freckles so it had taken Kaidan longer to even notice that it had been lost to the memories. The one that had surprised him and ashamed Shepard the most was much more recent.

After Saren and the Battle of the Citadel Shepard had received a large "shiner" as she had called it- longer than her hand span, bright pink from below her left breast and across the two ribs she had broken when almost being impaled by the Reaper fragments. Had she stayed on bed rest like the doctors had wanted it would have healed in time. But Shepard had geth to fight and had slapped some medigel on it and pushed on.

She had been embarrassed about it during their time on Nos Astra he remembered. Kaidan had made it a point to show her that along with all the rest of her collection had helped make her who he had fallen for. It had still been fresh just beginning to heal when the Collector's hit so when he saw her without it, admittedly it had surprised him. She had taken that as a sign of rejection.

She sighed softly in her sleep and nuzzled closer. She was colder now too, not just emotionally but physically-one of the reasons she was always wearing the N7 sweatshirt. He rubs the gooseflesh across her bare back and pulls the blanket around them.

The scar was completely gone, so too thankfully was the orange cybernetic ones of Cerberus but with it went the even tan and freckles along her nose and shoulders that had once danced when she laughed. She was also leaner now, a professional soldier she had always been fit but now there were hollows in her hips and collar bone showing her over reliance on stims and tendency to forget to eat more than she really should. Yes he was definitely right where he needed to be.

He ran his hand down her back feeling the flesh prickle up at his touch.

"First you want me to sleep then you tickle me." Shepard said from the base of his shoulder.

He had forgotten that little skill she had of going from fully asleep to wide awake at a seconds notice. She had told him it was a skill she had picked up in basic but now Kaidan had a feeling it might had developed while living on the streets of Omega.

"Sorry. Just sometimes I can't stop myself. I have to touch you to make sure you are really here and not just a dream."

"Oh so is that what you call what we just did? "

"No, that is making up for lost time." He chuckles and runs a finger over her check.

"How long was I out?" She rolls over and checks the bedside display.

"Not even an hour. You really should catch a few while all is quiet."

"I'll have plenty of time when we leave. 3 days travel and nothing but data pads and reports I'll sleep like a baby. And extra incentive now that you're here."

"Sweet talker. We'll see how well you are at following your own advice."

"Terrible, I know." She admits sitting up and passing her sports bra back over her head.

Over her shoulder she tosses him his own discarded briefs before slipping her own. Regretfully Kaidan begins to get dressed (thankfully this time in fresh clothes). Following the trail of clothes he grabs Shep's sweatshirt and is about to throw it to her when the pad that was underneath the shirt catches his eye.

"Shep what's this?"

Another drawing pad that Shepard must have been working on while Kaidan was sleeping off the migraine earlier. Unlike the other images Shepard was attempting to copy from her ill acquired Prothean memories this was of a human figure. The picture was done in black and brown but Kaidan could make out enough details for something to hold his attention.

A human woman but her face was burnt or damaged of some sort. She was yelling behind glass her eyes wide with terror. Something about the eyes and the headband made Kaidan keep looking between the two. Some connection he was supposed to be making.

Lilith. The girl from Horizon.

The glass wasn't glass but one of those pods they had used to put people in. He must have spoken the name aloud because Shepard was at his side her hand on his arm. Two of his biggest failures and Shepard was having nightmares about it.

"Her name was Lilith. She was probably the only colonist that really liked me being there. Heh for all the good I did them." He explained his voice soft.

"Kaidan I had no idea. I'm so sorry. I just had a nightmare last night and I didn't think. It was so vivid but I knew it wasn't real. I should have known better. "She hated talking about her nightmares but something about this had obviously impacted her.

"You had no way of knowing." Then an idea comes to him "You dream about Horizon don't you? I was part of the dream."

He was certain as soon as he spoke the words. She nodded slowly. That was why she had left and gone to see Samara. Samara had not been with Shepard yet, the Asari was a physical reminder that they had indeed survived and even conquered the Collectors.

He wraps his arms around her and holds her close; kissing the top of her head, the smell of hay and sunshine filling his nose from her bedraggled hair. He supposed after how vivid his dream of the Geth Dreadnaught had been they both had more than a little PTSD and they would work it through together. Shepard links her hands together behind his back and leans into him with a contented sigh.

A moment later the light on her desk begins to flash green and the overhead comes to life.

"Commander if you are done copulating with your mate, I have something you may wish to discuss." Javik's voice startles them out of their own thoughts. Shepard's voice comes up from the place she had nestled into his neck.

"Heh heh. Busted."