"Shepard they have a word for you on Palavan." Garrus informed her and Kaidan over dinner the second night of their trip. True to her word Shepard had been going over mission logs almost nonstop since they left the Citadel and Kaidan had suggested the officers dinner as a quasi-break. A few drinks and good company had lightened her mood somewhat and for that Kaidan was hugely thankful.
Garrus took a long sip of the dexo wine Shepard had broken out from her supply cabinet (now fully restocked) and waited for Shepard to rise to the challenge like they both knew she would.
"Amazing, Ravishing….Flexible." She arched an eyebrow at the Turrian, apparently one of their inside jokes that Kaidan was not aware of. He swirls the liquid in his glass before taking another sip.
"Certifiable." He proclaims before chuckling and giving Kaidan a knowing look. The Major laughs, remembering the way Joker had once described watching the two interact as the "strangest bromance ever." But then again didn't he share a lot of traits with Tali as well as Shepard had once pointed out to him? A reason that the two worked so well together.
"That's it Vakarian when I am done with you both sides of your face are gonna match." She throws a pillow at him which he deftly deflects.
"Spirits your aim is off after those little bitty glasses? No wonder you couldn't hit the bottles."
"Again with this? I told you I LET you win. Seeing how ugly you are I figured I should let you have something going for you. And for your information these little glasses have more alcohol in it than probably your whole bottle. Light weight."
She grins and upends another shot to prove a point. Kaidan had given up trying to keep pace with her, apparently her upgraded liver was not exactly an exaggeration, but he also could tell she was more buzzed than she was letting on in typical Shepard fashion. The Turrian leans back and it occurs to Kaidan this was probably the first time ever he had seen Garrus out of armor.
"So care to tell the story on how you managed to talk your people into trusting a failed C-Sec officer into being temporary XO of their pride and joy?" His mandibles flared in a half-grin. Apparently Shepard wasn't the only one who was under the influence.
"Well I threw Miranda's name out there and by comparison a Turrian looked positively cuddly. I don't think you could fill out the cat suit as well though." She gives him an appraising look over her beer as she hands Kaidan another. To his surprise they had managed to empty Zaeed's bottle and Shepard had tempted him with a bottle of whiskey. The woman knew the way to his heart.
"So no other options huh? Damn."
"Oh there are other options, Tali fills out her enviro suit pretty well but I don't need to tell YOU that."
"Not so secret fantasies coming out finally. Keep drinking Commander. At least this time you I won't have to save you from drowning in your own shower." At this Shepard's eyes go wide before glancing over to Kaidan.
Was she actually blushing?
"Aw crap." The sharp eyes of the Turrian noticed their glance, but was nowhere smooth enough to back pedal.
"No no man now you HAVE to tell me." Alenko refills the glasses giving Shepard a " don't try it look" but she just shrugs feigning indifference.
"What was the term Joker used to get me up here? Shepard was "puking her guts up?" Of course it was not as traumatic as it sounds. You humans and your flair for dramatics."
"Says you. I think I lost 5 kilos that night."
"Of fluid." He tilts his glass in her direction. His first finger tapping the glass thoughtfully before continuing. "Joker called me to help with Shepard who had apparently decided the best way to make sure she was still moderately human was to drink herself into a stupor and see if her organs could handle it."
"A soldier needs to know their limits." Shepard defended feebly. Kaidan noticed she was holding her glass between her two palms. Not looking at either one of them. Her posture didn't seem to indicate she was angry, rather she was just far away remembering a less than favorable experience.
Much of what had happened on the SR-2 as far as personal Shepard had kept a closed lip on. Sure he had read the mission reports Shepard had sent to Anderson religiously and had spoken to Thane but knowing what had happened and why it had happed were two very different things.
"So Joker had come upstairs and found her passed out and he was unable to move her so he called me up. Trying to wake her up was …interesting to say the least." He clicked a sign that meant he was thinking. "Joker was kind enough to pass her off to me citing that he had the nurturing instincts of a reptile. EDI informed me that her Blood Alcohol level was not enough to cause a coma but Shepard being the domineering one she is refused to go to MedBay and get a lecture from Chakwas so soon after Horizon."
"I had seen enough of that place to last me months."
"And you were recovering from being shot by a Praetorian." He pointed out. Shepard just grunts and takes more of her whiskey.
She had been hit on Horizon? He had not noticed.
"Anyway by the time I arrived not only was Shepard awake but had become quite talkative." A sub harmonic chuckle. " And apparently Cerberus had only put the stairs between the bed and the bathroom to slow her down, she swore. So after retreating to the bathroom for a good half hour I message Joker what to do with a retching Commander. EDI unlocked the door and Joker in his wisdom recommends showering her off before she can pass out again."
"I knew you didn't override the lock. Even my damn ship was against me." She grumbled. "And then you threw me into the shower!"
"Fully clothed, which apparently was even worse because Shepard began to complain while sitting on the floor under the water mind you." He shakes his head.
" Maybe Turrians don't have a sense of smell but humans sure do."
"Oh no you reeked, but I was not about to get into projectile range. So somehow it came to this one's clever mind that she should remove her water logged clothes and block up the drain."
"And then you asked me why I didn't have a tail!" She exclaimed indignantly. "I remember THAT part! If humans are descendent from primates, why don't you have a tail? Even Wrex had one."" She mocked his voice.
"Idle curiosity." He shrugged. "I didn't expect an anatomy lesson."
"Careful what you wish for Vakarian. I could have just had Mordin sent you the vids." Her tone softens when she mentions the Salarian.
"Like he did with you and Thane?"
"Ugh don't remind me. Apparently, antibiotics and closed containment areas are more erotic than hallucination inducing spit swaps. Which NEVER happened by the way." She says for more Kaidan's benefit.
"No but we at least have Fleet and Flotilla to go off of."
"Or Jokers collection."
"Typical classy Shepard. So did you just tell Hackett no one else would take the job." He had managed to get back to his original inquiry without mortifying Shepard more than was his due as her closest friend.
"He suggested others but I wouldn't have it. Kaidan backed me up thankfully." She rested her head on his shoulder affectionately. He did notice the slur at the ends of her words.
"James? Just because he is going to be an N7."
"If he can ever past the tests." The drink was loosening Shepard's tongue; she would never speak doubts about her crew sober, even with these two. Garrus of course had heard about their two guests down below and had even spoken to them to alleviate the tedium of being glared out by the Prothean.
They chatted for a while longer, not really in any rush since they were still at least a day out from their destination. Kaidan could feel the effects of the alcohol making him drowsy but having Shepard snuggled up against him while she and Garrus gave each other shit was so nice he was not about to suggest they call it a night.
Luckily Garrus was almost as good at reading Shep as he was (at times probably better not that he liked to admit that) and used the excuse that he didn't want to finish off all of the dextro wine in one night as an excuse to head back down. Shepard muttered that he never gave her enough credit but her voice was slow and heavy giving her away.
"G'night Kaidan. Night Shepard." He stands and Shepard gets to her feet and Garrus chuckles. "Going to attempt the evil stairs again Shepard? I think I know the way out." He leans down and puts his forehead affectionately on hers. "Get to bed." He gives her a little push and waves a parting gesture at Kaidan before taking his exit.
"Damn Turrian. He is so irritating, good thing he is so good with our people or else we'd have no use for him." She gripes, flopping down next to Kadian again.
"I somehow doubt that." He responds trying to stifle a yawn.
"Whas that supposedsa mean?"
"Just that you like and hate him because he reminds you of yourself. Alcohol and all."
He stands and gathers empty glasses but Shepard helps herself to the last of the bottle's remnants. His limbs feel like lead but Shepard seemed content to keep right on drinking. Returning from the bathroom he leans against the wall and looks down at Shepard who had her legs up on the couch. He knew that look.
"You're drunk." He states the obvious.
"So are you." She giggles gesturing him over with a finger.
"Shepard you drank more than double what I did. We should both get to bed. AND sleep." He adds the last part when her face lights up.
"Damn you really are no fun. " She folds her arms under her breasts and sticks her bottom lip out pouting.
"You know that's not what you said earlier." He leans over her breathing on her neck.
"Alenko I am gonna kill you. Can't blame a girl for making up for lost time." Another flying pillow. This one he gestures and it returns back the way it came in a flash of blue.
"No fair using biotics!"She snatches the pillow out of the air and holds onto it tight.
"Says the woman who just drank a full bottle of liquor. Come on Commander."
"Ohhh ordering me around now Major? Didn't take long for power to go to your head, I'm not even off the ship yet."
One of the most infuriating things about Shepard (and there were many) was her ability to use sarcasm as a weapon. That last comment had stung but as flippant as she had delivered it Kaidan doubted she had meant it to be so abrasive. There was probally some underlying meaning behind it but honestly Kaidan was too drunk and tired to start that conversation without it turning into a argument quickly
Leaning down and scooping her up like a child he apparently takes her by surprise as she feels her tighten up before realizing he is carrying her over to the bed. Empty bottle and pillows cast aside and forgotten she crawls under the sheets and waits for him expectantly.
"Sleep Jane." He crawls in rolling his eyes.
"Oh God don't call me that."
"Don't call you your name?" He pulls her against his chest trying to settle her down.
"I told my mother once I was old enough I was going to change it. Always hated being called Jane." She says and looks at him almost surprised. Another crack in the armor, so Kaidan decided to push.
"So where did this PJ come from? I heard Aria call you it."
"Long story." She yawns and nestles into him; apparently his not so subtle plan was working. He tucks her hair behind her ear and starts running his fingers through it. That never failed to make her sleepy.
"Cheater." She sighed and leaning into it.
"So after Mindoir you were living on Omega."
"Barely, there were not really any major human settlements nearby so there were less than a few hundred humans and even less kids. So a…..friend told me I needed to learn how to blend in. Purple eyes and red hair if you need to steal food or get away from thugs is not an asset. So I started taking skin pigments, hair dye and got contacts all mousy brown. I was a "Plain Jane". I guess it worked because I am still here and they aren't." Her eyebrows knit at the memory of someone who must have mattered much to her in the dark days of her past.
"And that is why you know Aria will help. Because you know how she operates. " He squeezes her tight in the darkened room.
" Yea she was right much as I hate to admit it. We really do have more in common that I would like to admit. But thank you for trusting me with this. I think it will feel good to get some closure."
"You mean revenge."
Against Cerberus, against Aria T'Loak, against a past that since coming back from the dead was not contented to stay lost.
"Yeah, that too." Her eyes flash in the darkness before sleep takes them both.
A/N Welcome to all my lovely new followers! Sorry for the delay I was sitting on this chapter hoping the muse would cooperate (he didn't) and got fed up and just pushed ahead.
I am struggling with the next few chapters before getting into Levathian DLC. If there are any missions or scenes you think need to be included please review or message me before the home stretch.