Niou Masaharu

Am I happy?

Argh! She frustrates me…

"Masaharu."

I looked up when I heard my name and found Sanada in front of me. He had his normal frowning face, but there was a slight concern on it. I couldn't tell what it was, but I had to ask. "What is it?"

"What's wrong? You weren't concentrating at all in the last meeting.'

What's wrong? What's wrong? He asks me what's wrong. I rubbed my head gently and let out a weary sigh. What's wrong is that I think my girlfriend is in love with you. That's what's wrong.

I just muttered something under my breath and he got the point, leaving the room. It's been a month since Fay and I met again at the ski resort and we've been trying.

Though, lately, I'm pissed off.

Tuning around, I looked outside the window as I rested my back on the wall and stared below. I haven't seen her since a week because of her stupid job and I'm not even sure where we stand – relationship wise. I won't deny that she doesn't boil my blood, but is that enough?

Am I happy just like that?

I let out another weary sigh and closed my eyes. Just as I did, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out and realize that it was a text message. There were actually three that I hadn't seen.

Haru! What do I get Sanada for Valentine's? – Aya.

I skipped that one, ignoring it at the moment and went to the next.

Dinner is Saturday instead of Friday, same place and time – Hiroshi.

Damnit! There goes my Saturday plan. Saturday is the only day that Fay is free this week. Maybe I should take her with me to the dinner? No, Sanada will be there. ARGH!

I shook my head and just replied a quick 'ok' to Hiroshi and went to the next message.

I'm in a boring meeting and two minutes away from killing the agency's director – Fay

I chuckled and smirked a bit.

Want me to make you laugh? – Niou

No… No… I'll embarrass myself! Anyway, how have you been? – Fay

Tired. – Niou

Oh. Is Sanada working you hard? – Fay.

What the hell? Why is Sanada even in this conversation?

She's driving me crazy. I rubbed my temple with my free hand and decided to ignore the comment.

Free for me tonight? – Niou

Actually I am. My meeting got cancelled. Where do you want to meet? – Fay

Where do I want to meet? I just want us to relax and not fight. Why do we always fight? Why do you make me lose my temper with you? I tend to get very impatient when I'm around you.

Do you want to go someplace quiet? I'm not in the mood of a crowd tonight. – Niou

I don't mind. I'm very tired and would like to relax. What do you have in mind? – Fay

So my baby's tired. Where do you take a woman when she's feeling tired? I could always bring her back to my place, but not when a certain roommate is around. Damnit! Why am I getting paranoid over this?!

You choose. – Niou

Want to come over? I'll cook. – Fay.

I have to admit that that surprised me. We've been together for almost a month and I've never gotten a proper invite to her apartment yet – and no, Aya doesn't count. That brings me to another frustration. We're physically attracted to each other, but I always sense her withdrawal after a bit… I wonder what she's thinking. I decided to send a quick reply and not think of anything anymore.

Okay. – Niou

Fay's Apartment - Evening

It surprises me how I always tend to forget my frustrations for a while when I see her. The minute she opened the door, I was reminded of how much I missed her.

"Hey, stranger," she said with a smile.

"Hey." I leaned forward, kissing her cheek.

She invited me in after that and I couldn't help, but chuckle at her attire for she was dressed in pajamas. They were shorts with a long sleeve 'boyfriend' shirt and she had fluffy slippers on. "I'm going to get changed," she said, turning to look at me.

Her statement made me stop. "It's okay, Fay. What you're wearing is fine."

She looked taken aback, but ended up nodding. "Thanks," she said, walking to the kitchen which was part of the living room.

I leaned on the stool and watched her as she checked the pot on the stoves. "How's work?" I asked. I had promised myself that I wouldn't ask, but it ended up coming out.

"It's okay, I guess, but really tiring. Atobe seriously has no mercy in his bones, but I like the challenge." She flicked a glance at me as she pushed a stray hair away from her face.

I frowned. I knew what a workaholic ass Atobe Keigo was. What bothered me was that my woman was at the receiving end of it. I could state my disapproval, but I knew that it would only lead to an argument, so I decided to keep my mouth shout for now.

"Niou?"

I looked up and found her watching me carefully. When I didn't say anything, she moved towards me and put her hand on my forehead. "You look worn-out."

I sighed and took her hand. "You and me both, babe," I said, kissing her wrist gently.

She cupped the side of my face and smiled. "Let's eat and then relax on the couch."

"Sounds great."

Dinner went fast. Mishima Fay was a good cook, which I liked about her. She had cooked a lot of dishes and out of courtesy I tried them all. After dinner, I helped her clean up and then we both retired to the living room. "What do you want to do?" I asked as she plopped herself next to me.

She hugged my arms and placed it on my shoulder. "I don't know," she admitted, "I'm…" [Yawn].

I chuckled and put my arm around her shoulder. "If you want to sleep, you can do so."

"No, but… [Yawn]… Damnit. I'm sorry." [Yawn]

I held my laughter in and pushed her to lie down on my lap. "Sleep," I ordered as I moved my fingers through her long hair.

Fay moved her head up, but I didn't let her. "But…"

"No, buts. I'm as tired, so I'll just sleep as well."

"But…"

"Fay!"

"Wait, damnit!" she snapped. "I want to get up to get us a blanket and a pillow."

Oh. Ok. "Alright! Alright!" I said, letting go of her head.

She stood up, but then stopped.

I felt her hesitate as she looked at me. "Umm… Don't get the wrong idea, but let's just go to my room."

I looked at her. I knew what my eyes reflected. Also, I knew what would happen, so as stupid as I am, I shook my head. "I don't trust myself on your bed, Fay," I admitted. "Let's just lounge here."

She looked at me in surprise, but didn't say anything. As she walked to the linen closet, I stood up and took off my sweater. I kept my shirt on and scratched my hair.

Fay brought the things and placed them on the sofa. Before she lay down, I got an urge to kiss her, so I placed my arm around her waist and kissed her lips lightly. "You need to relax more."

She hugged my waist and nodded. "Yes, sir."

I could feel my heart beating faster at her closeness. Her scent was something imprinted in my head and it began triggering my body as it usually does. I pushed her away in a gentle manner and sat on the couch.

I woke up as I felt something touch me. Opening my eyes, I realized that someone had placed a blanket on me. I looked to my side and found Aya standing there and watching me, or moreover watching us.

"Hey…" I said in a croaky voice. I cleared my voice and moved to sit up but found Fay hugging my waist tightly. I decided not to move, I knew how tired she has been. I looked up at Aya and grinned. "I can't move."

She chuckled and sat on the table in front of me. "Why are you two sleeping here?"

I scratched my head and yawned. "We fell asleep I guess," I mumbled. There was no way in hell I was telling Aya that I didn't trust myself on Fay's bed. I looked at Fay who was sleeping peacefully in front of me and smiled. "Who would've thought that she'd look so innocent when asleep?"

Aya pushed her tongue out, but then nodded. "True."

I stretched my body and turned my attention back at Aya, "And you my dear… where were you?"

She immediately blushed and looked at her hands. "I was with Sanada having dinner."

"I see."

Aya smiled dreamily and then looked at me. "Do you have plans for Valentine's?"

I scowled at the thought. "I don't believe in that crap."

"But I do!"

I didn't say anything. I wasn't really fond of that day. I don't even remember ever celebrating it. I'm not even expecting for Fay to have any expectations for that day unless stupid Aya puts it into her head.

"Haru!"

"Drop it, Aya," I muttered moving Fay's hands gently from around my waist so I could sit up. I scratched my hair and stood up stretching my arms over my head. "I'm going to call it a night."

"Don't leave yet, why don't you just stay together in her room tonight."

"I have to wake up early" I answered. Frankly, I needed an invitation from Fay. I don't think she'll be happy if she sees me sleeping next to her on her bed in the morning.

"Haru…"

I put my sweater on and just looked at her. I felt that Aya wanted to say more but she stopped. I knew she was really trying hard to get Fay and me together but you can't force these things. It was frustrating… it made me wonder all the time if I wanted to dig deeper into this relationship. I'm still feeling paranoid when I see Fay with Genichirou and I still wonder about them.

I decided to leave for now and walked out of the door, bidding Aya well. However, I still wondered…

Am I really happy?