New York, 2016
It's official: her no-good, workaholic parents cursed their only daughter from their graves. I should have buried them at sea instead of next to Grandma & Grandpa but nooooo I had to go soft after spending three weeks visiting my egg and sperm donor in a fancy hospital I paid the bills for.They never got over the fact that Great Uncle Sheev left her every dime of the Palpatine family fortune. Without so much as a nickel for his nephew and niece in-law. She didn't ask for the money! He never even mentioned it to her. But there's no way her week could have been so disastrous without some sort of hex. Then again the curse could have been cast by her best friend's ex-boyfriend. Filth excels at spreading lies and damnation. On Monday some female charlatans named Barriss Offee and Assaj Ventress had the gall to claim that Sheev Palpatine sexually abused them. If they had just accused her great uncle with no evidence then it would have been insignificant, but the harlots brought falsified photographs and fake videos that leaked into the Internet. Her emperor once warned that no truth is more shamelesly bent than mankind's. His words ring true as statements from tatooed strumpets besmirch a hero. Tarnishing his public image to the point where her cousin Korkie was kindly suggested by the mayor's office to remove his statue in the Capitol. And that's just her family issues. Rey Kenobi's caretaker Unkar Plutt called on Wednesday to tell her that the little girl couldn't attend ballet class due to chickenpox. Thing is Rey's medical records stated that she had been vaccinated against chickenpox. Following her gut feeling that something was wrong, she stalked Unkar until she found out where he lived and possiblybroke into his house. There she discovered Rey's real reason for skipping class all week long was a broken leg, graciously provided by her legal guardian. The egregious manatee caught her sneaking Rey out the window and tried to hit them, but he didn't take her martial arts training into account. Now Rey sends her brightly colored postcards from her grandfather's( who was unaware of his granddaughter's existence till now) farm in the middle of nowhere & they continue her studies through Skype. In the movies, doing this sort of thing gets you a medal and newspaper headlines, in real life it gets you suspended from teaching ballet. It's a good thing she works for fun, not necessity.

This all piles up to Friday when she thought to surprise her boyfriend Hux by preparing a nice candlelit dinner. She showed at his apartment where lo and behold, working late meant lying in bed with his secretary Miss Phasma. Honestly, it's bad enough that he cheated on her but did it have to be so cliche? She gives up the positive act and calls Winter who promises a stress free night of Netflix and ice cream. Tomorrow, because tonight her best friend is still visiting family in some godforsaken place that's not on Google maps. She could ask Lando to hang out but since it's the beginning of the weekend, he'll be too busy flirting with every 20ish year old specimen in the city while moaning about Han Solo, the ultimate wingman who abandoned the bachelor life for some princess in a backwater town. If this Han guy exists, he's smarter than most people. So now she's checking out books from the library in hopes of drowning her sorrows in Tennyson, Goethe and Marlowe.

As she's walking into the library's elevator, a tall man with shoulder length hair stops the door from closing with one hand. The other is holding a worn down copy of Sir Walter Scott's Rob Roy. He seems oddly familiar for some reason. Not neighborhood familiar, more like TV show familiar. Then it clicks.

"Excuse me Sir, are you Qui-Gon Jinn?"

"Indeed I am, who do I have the pleasure of meeting?"

"Mara, Mara Jade. You know my friend Kyle has your book; Listening to the Will of the Force. He says it changed his perspective. "

" That was the intention, I'm glad your friend responded positively to it."

"So what brings you to New York?"

"I'm hosting a seminar on how healthy attachments are vital to a happy, well adjusted lifestyle for veterans struggling with PTSD."

"Good, our boys deserve some happiness of their own after fighting to ensure ours."

All of a sudden, the elevator begins to shake. The lights turn off as the emergency power activates dim neon yellow flares. Qui-Gon tenderly rubs her back as he assures her everything will be fine. Why are all the nice, gorgeous men married? Well then, looks like they're stuck in the elevator till further notice. Which apparently means all night. No wonder the Communists protest against laziness in the American government. They end up discussing their love lives. Qui-Gon has been happily married to a blind linguist named Tahl for almost thirty years and has two children: Ahsoka and Kanan. Compared to him, Mara's a raging hurricane.

" Miss Jade, I'd like to know: what is your idea of a perfect man?"

"Nigel Terry's height, Rutger Hauer's eyes, Timothy Dalton's chin, Errol Flynn's hair, Sebastian Stan's cheekbones and Marlon Brando's abs before he fattened up."

"Miss Jade, if you constantly seek comforts of the flesh over the psyche you'll spend the rest of your life unsatisfied with what you settle for."

"Compliance's not in my nature, I'll not wed a branch when I want the tree."

"Then how about I help you find someone who is your match in every way, a soul mate if you will?"

"A Prince among men?"

"If we do this correctly, you'll steal a King's heart, Miss Jade."

"Show me the way, I'm ready Qui-Gon." Please my Emperor, be proud of me.

"Think of a time you were unforgivably shallow. Don't roll your eyes at me, just do it. Now release your prejudice into the air. From this moment on whenever you meet someone you shall only see what lies within. You're gazing into the eyes of a man, you're feeling his heart, you're glimpsing his spirit. Good, very good. That's it."