Chapter 153 - Nueva Cocina

The visit to the temple in the morning was a peaceful one, at least. The Uchiha family, along with practically everyone else in Konoha, crowded and prayed and rang bells, but mostly socialized with neighbors and traded gossip.

Sasuke ran into Juugo and Asaoto, there, and introduced them to his family proper; Asaoto's voice was muffled under many sweaters and a thick hand-knit scarf around his mouth, but was very excited to say hello.

("I'm glad you finally returned," Juugo said to Sasuke, quietly, while Asaoto spoke to Ino.)

(Sasuke tried to look confident in return. "I just hope I'm doing the right things.")

("You'll be fine," Juugo said, with many ounces of trust.)

Yakata's family was there, as well, though only Nadeshiko really noticed and reached out. Yakata was now thirteen; his voice squeaked at times, and he kept his hair cut no longer than his chin, his bangs flipping upward beneath his cap. He worked at the flower shop daily, at that point, and was a frequent guest at Nadeshiko's house, for tea and conversation.

("Is, is that Sasuke?" he asked her, pointing to him in the crowd, and she nodded in reply. "Oh, I, I hope everything's all right with, with you all.")

("Everything's fine," Nadeshiko assured him.)

(The debt that Sasuke owed Yakata was not one he felt he could repay easily and at once. He stayed a safe distance from the boy, budgeting his apologies.)

Only Hajime and Ninako were absent; at Hinata's suggestion, they were going to spend New Year's Day with her family, who seemed to have softened in their opinion towards Kumori since Sasuke's intervention the previous year. Hanabi, at least, was willing to speak openly and non-toxically about their relationship, though still denying them marriage.

("It's tradition. I cannot unwrite generations worth of law. That is heresy," she explained to Ninako, on her birthday, when she was called home by her parents. "I can, however, interpret them however I please.")

(Hanabi still did not smile, but something in her face had changed.)

(It should be mentioned that, following Ninako's informal adoption into the Uchiha clan, Hanabi began taking suggestions from Andou for her rule, allowing him to make small changes to clan law - never formally rewriting or deleting them, but taking footnotes and exceptions and moving them from small to large print.)

(Murasaki was also a frequent guest of the Hyuuga clan, and various doctors from the central hospital. But Hanabi was absolutely not seeking help, or asking to be changed.)

(She was merely preparing things for Andou's appointment as head of the Hyuuga clan, which involved contacting his late father for advice and counsel on occasion.)

(Nothing more.)

The temple visit left most of the family in good spirits; Karai noted, with some degree of amusement, that she got the highest level of good luck possible, when they drew fortune-straws. "Guess that means things'll be good overall!" she said.

Even Inou, who tried his best to make his seventeen-year-old disdain for the world very apparent, could only manage to keep quiet. Truthfully, he was still trying to digest the fact that his father and Nadeshiko-the-unfavorite had been talking that morning, much less reading things together.

(Reading was his Thing with Nadeshiko, what they shared and bonded over. It felt almost like an intrusion, though his gut wasn't sure whether it was unwelcome or not.)

Takeru, however, had a belligerent temper with a long memory, and it festered until the afternoon; lunch had been finished and the family drifted to various corners of the house, finding ways to pass the time until Hajime and Ninako came back for dinner.

Something had happened at breakfast; a small thing, a kind thing, but one that burrowed beneath his skin and poisoned his mood.

Takeru had wanted the soy sauce passed to him, during the meal. Given the crowded table, it took too long for someone to hear him, much less give him what he wanted, so he resorted to the strategic use of chakra threads to pick up the bottle and bring it to his plate.

"Hey, rude!" Inou said. "I was gonna use that!"

"I'll give it to you when I'm done, drama queen," Takeru replied.

"When did you learn that technique?" Sasuke was asking the question, though he was focused on his bowl of miso soup.

Takeru paused with the bottle in his hand. "Are you talking to me?"

"I am," Sasuke said.

"I learned it when I was in therapy for my back and legs. Helps me get things out of my reach," Takeru said. "Why do you ask?" he continued, a slice of venom in his tone.

"I'm just glad to see you're still dedicated to learning new things, even in this…" His eyes glanced at him for a moment, before back at the bowl. "...new situation of yours. Adapting, rather than giving up."

"Of course I adapted," Takeru said. "Retiring because of an injury is for cowards."

"You're certainly not a coward, son," Sasuke replied.

The word seemed to slip out of him so easily, there.

Of course, the table fell silent. Sasuke looked up, suddenly vaguely worried. "Did I say something wrong?" he said.

"Not at all," Takeru replied, and his fingers glowed. "Inou, here's your soy sauce."

The conversation resumed, filling the space, and the silence.

But the seed had already been planted.

So in the afternoon, he found the man, reading in the living room with Nadeshiko, and slid the door open roughly. "You. Can we talk?"

Sasuke was nearly finished with the first volume of the Yukara Cycle, and his mouth was crooked with vivid discussion in between the chapters. Upon seeing Takeru, his expression drained and became neutral. "Of course, Takeru. We can talk."

"In private," Takeru said.

Nadeshiko said nothing, bowing her head, leaving the living room, closing the door behind her.

"What do you want to talk to me about?" Sasuke said, once it was clear nobody was around.

Takeru didn't even bother with a preamble. "What are you playing at, with me?"

"Excuse me?"

"What you said to me at breakfast."

Sasuke looked genuinely lost. "...what exactly did I say?"

"You called me 'son.'" There was no pride or sense of ownership in how Takeru said it.

"...well, I suppose I said it because you are my son," Sasuke said, quietly. "It's what I'm supposed to do."

"What you're supposed to-'" Takeru interrupted himself with a scoff. "Could you make it any less obvious that you're trying too hard?"

"I don't know what you mean," Sasuke said.

"Really. Really? In all my years of knowing you, you have never given any time to people that were below your station. Below the Uchiha family. And that's what I am, aren't I? A crippled bastard that isn't even related to you."

Sasuke didn't say anything.

"I know you don't approve of me. And you know what? I accepted that. Long ago," Takeru said. "So if you want to even pretend you care then you should start by not lying to me. I've had enough of people lying to me."

Sasuke waited until it was certain that Takeru wasn't going to continue. "When I call you my son, Takeru, I'm not lying to you, or anyone else."

"Oh, please. There is no way that's true. Need I remind you? You're not even my father?"

Sasuke didn't say anything.

"And, like… even if I were your son? There is no way in hell you are genuinely proud of me. I mean, look at me!" He lifted an arm away from one of his braces to gesture. "I'm a cripple. I can't even piss standing up anymore. Hardly the model of Uchiha perfection."

"You… haven't given up on your career, though," Sasuke said. "That's worth being proud of, I think."

"It's a bare fucking minimum," Takeru replied.

"No," Sasuke said, "it isn't. The easy thing to do would be to give up, which… obviously, you haven't done. And I'm proud of you for that."

"I'm sure that's admirable to normal people, but not to you," Takeru said. "I know you. Stop lying to me and just be honest."

"Son, I'm not-"

"Don't call me your son," Takeru said. "I am not your son, and you know it, and I do not want to be lied to anymore."

Sasuke kept his eyes on his knees. "...I'm sorry, Takeru, I just don't know what else to say."

"Don't say that, for starters," Takeru said.

"What do you want me to say to you, then? What do you want me to call you?" Sasuke raised his head, and looked Takeru directly in the eyes, his voice growing stronger.

In Takeru's mind, an unspoken lecture, in Sasuke's voice, in a tone that was always directed at someone else, began reeling off words: "Shall I call you Disappointment? Or Failure? Since you've clearly not done enough to improve your life since your little accident. Oh, wait, no. That wasn't an accident. It was clearly your fault. You must have done something to provoke this. What a mess you are."

But in reality, Sasuke remained quiet. His mouth was closed tight, as if his lips were sewn together.

Oh, Takeru knew what he really wanted to say. The silence was just another lie, and his anger heated his ears. "How the hell should I know? Just don't call me your son, all right? I know for a fact that you don't give a shit about me, and that you're just doing this because… I don't fucking know, just stop."

(Of course, Takeru had theories. Mainly, he believed that it was because Sasuke was sleeping with Ino, and she was behind this little peace mission, badgering him into these false displays of concern.)

(But something - call it tact, or the need to be seen as the better man - stayed his tongue.)

What might have convinced someone else of hurt filled Sasuke's face. "...what makes you think that I don't care about you?"

That was it.

"Are you serious? Are you fucking serious?" Takeru took a few heavy metal-steps forward. "Here, let me illuminate you! For the sake of simplicity I'm just going to ignore the fact that you haven't even bothered to come home for two years. I mean, this is about me, isn't it?"

Sasuke didn't say anything.

"When I was in the hospital, you didn't visit me once. And I mean, sure, I can understand that, maybe; nobody else bothered. But you didn't so much as send me a damn letter after. And you ignored my birthday."

(Of course, Takeru knew that Sasuke hadn't forgotten, for the two years after. But this was an argument he was looking to win, evidence be damned.)

"You abandoned me. I mean, you abandoned the whole family, pretty much, but with me? You made damn sure I knew it." He exhaled through his nose. "So, yeah. I think I have a pretty convincing case here."

Sasuke nodded slightly, tightening his mouth. "You have… every reason to feel that way," he said. "I just… hope you understand that, everything I did, I did for the sake of the family. So, if you feel… things would have turned out better with me there, then I'm… sorry, Takeru."

"Save it. You're not sorry," Takeru said, lowly.

Sasuke lowered his head, his shoulders hunched. "...I'm just doing the best I can, Takeru. I'm sorry I can't do more."

He was silent, after that, for a while.

"Is that it, then?" Takeru said. "Is that all you have to say to me?"

Sasuke didn't say anything.

"Because, I can't help but feel that if this is really the best you can do? Then what the hell took you so long?!" Takeru was shouting. He wanted to be heard. "I mean, how much fucking effort does it take for you to just be in the same house as your family? To send a letter?"

"...you're right. It doesn't take a lot of effort," Sasuke said. "I have no excuses, and I should have done a lot more for you, and your family. You have every right to be angry at me. I'm sorry I couldn't have done more sooner."

Sasuke's words were like water to Takeru's anger, or knives, dampening and chopping it into smaller pieces with the impossible sincerity and logic of his words. Takeru was angry. He wanted to be angry.

But with pathetic, spineless replies like this, how could he stay angry? It was like playing a stacked game. There was no satisfaction in it.

"...well, it's too late for you, now," Takeru decided on. "Apologizing won't do you any good. I'm done with you. I don't need or want you in my life in any way."

(Sasuke felt almost relieved to hear those words. He'd been anticipating them, feeling them, and now, finally, hearing them.)

"I understand," Sasuke said, and he lowered his head.

Takeru could have left the room with at least some degree of closure, had Sasuke just stayed quiet.

"I just hope you know that I am not disappointed in you in any way," Sasuke said, quietly, almost to himself. "And, to me, you'll always be my son."

Takeru's anger was cold, small, and sharp. "I fucking told you," he hissed. "I am not your son, and you are not allowed to call me that."

Sasuke looked up at him, there, and the whites of his eyes showed under his black irises. "If that's what you truly want, I will never call you 'son' again. But I will always think of you as my son. And you cannot deny me that."

Takeru's words were a reflexive comeback. "You have no right."

"I have every right, Takeru!" And suddenly Sasuke's weak, limpid voice gained strength, and steel, and soft outrage. "I raised you, damn it! I taught you everything you know! I gave you your name! That makes you my son! Not the blood in your veins. And that is all that matters to me!"For a moment, Takeru thought he saw Sasuke's eyes growing shiny, wet at the corners.

But a moment later, his posture had collapsed, and he seemed shameful and pathetic again.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have raised my voice." His voice and his eyes seemed tired and dry as he looked up at Takeru again. "Is there anything else you want to say to me?"

Takeru felt like his limbs were made of cotton. "...no." He cleared his throat. "That'll be all." He turned around and began out of the living room. "I'll tell Nadeshiko that she can go back to her quality time with you."

(A spindly, sarcastic little comment twirled at the back of his tongue, something about special treatment for blood relatives, or something like that.)

(But it didn't feel right to set free.)

"That won't be necessary," Sasuke said. "I'm going to take a walk, I think."

Takeru nodded in acknowledgment, and began down the hallway for his room, already thinking things over. His mind processed words and actions with safe strategy, as if he were constructing a battle plan, a means of handling this strange new enemy.

(But Sasuke wasn't an enemy.)

Sasuke sought similar safety with Ino in the kitchen, which was, thankfully, otherwise empty. "Everything okay?" she asked him.

(Of course, she'd heard the raised voices, though she didn't quite make out the words.)

"I'm fine," Sasuke said. "I just think that I'll be leaving soon."

"Oh, Sasuke, stay at least for dinner," Ino said. "I'm sure you'll be welcome at least one more night."

(Everything Takeru had said to him had just reaffirmed the narrative in his mind, that he was unwelcome, that he was not trusted, that there was nothing but anger towards his belated presence in the home.)

"I really don't want to overstay my welcome," Sasuke said.

"Then tell me, Father, if you do leave this evening, will it be for good? Or shall I expect you to come crawling back for other functions?"

(Takeru had heard things from the hallway, and he had come to conclusions.)

"Takeru!" Ino said, sounding disappointed.

(Takeru's conclusion was that his father was not an enemy.)

Sasuke didn't say anything.

"Well? Are you or aren't you planning on coming back?"

"As of right now, I'm not particularly inclined to return any time soon," Sasuke said. "I imagine I'm something of a bother to you all, and I don't want to cause any more trouble."

"Really? Hm. How disappointing," Takeru said. "I was looking forward to seeing you again soon. I mean, two years of absence? I'd say that's worth a lot of owed conversation." He smirked, and there was gold in his smile.

(Takeru was not one to put forth offers of forgiveness with tears or embraces.)

(Sasuke's heart translated for him, and eased a great deal of his fear.)

"I'll have to see how the rest of the family feels towards me being here," Sasuke said, "but I'd be glad to meet with you for any sort of conversation, Takeru. You just let me know."

"Hmph. It's the least you could do," Takeru said, and began down the hallway. "After all, isn't that what fathers are supposed to do? Listen to their sons when they want to talk?"

And Sasuke smiled back at him. "I believe that's in the job description somewhere."

"Then try to live up to it," Takeru said, and continued on to his room.

"...so, um, I take it that you let Takeru talk to you in there?" Ino said.

"Yes," Sasuke replied. "I let him do most of the talking, and I think… we reached an agreement in there somewhere."

"Well, so long as things are working out for you…" Ino said, trying to sound cheerful. "Still, I suppose we should talk to all the kids about if they're fine with you staying another night."

"Mm." Though Sasuke's face was grim, the embers of hope warmed his voice.

Things were probably going to be okay.