Rabastan would have been quite happy to go into his bedroom and never come out. He didn't want to see Bellatrix and hear her taunting him, and he certainly didn't want to have to face his parents and their prying questions.
So he sat in his bedroom and thought.
There was really no point in denying that he had far, far preferred going to bed with the Dark Lord over going to bed with Andromeda. The Dark Lord had not made him feel weak, uncomfortable or awkward the way that Andromeda had (though he was sure that she had never meant to). The Dark Lord had made him feel better than he could remember feeling at any point in his entire life.
And what was he going to do now?
He couldn't just tell people that he had bedded the Dark Lord. What would they say? What would they think? Nothing complimentary about him, surely – he knew the sorts of insults endured by anyone who people even believed went to bed with their own sex. He wouldn't be able to stand that, and that was even before he considered his parents' reactions.
Maria would be furious at losing an opportunity to have the bloodlines carried on once and for all. Joseph would hide his anger, but Rabastan could already feel his cold, bitter disappointment. Disappointment that his son was weak and all wrong, and hardly even a man…
No, no, no!
Rabastan paced his bedroom, digging his nails into his palms until they bled. He was a real man, no matter what his parents believed – he had felt it when he was with the Dark Lord. He had felt powerful, capable, right, all right!
But he wasn't.
He wasn't right. Something had gone horribly wrong when he was being created, something that made him weak and sickly and useless and perverted…
He glared into his looking glass, and the same thin, pale face as always stared back out at him. What had the Dark Lord seen in him? Why had he ever put his hands on him? What could possibly attract a man of the strength and clout of the Dark Lord to someone like Rabastan? Even if his desires did tend towards men, surely he would be able to find a far more suitable lover…
Rabastan was still glaring into his mirror and considering it – trying for the life of him to think of what reason he would have for being attracted to a person like him if he were the Dark Lord – when there was a shaky knock at the door.
"What is it?" he demanded, more sharply than he had intended.
The door swung in slightly and a house-elf poked her long nose in. "A message from Master Rodolphus and Mistress Bellatrix, sir – they wish you to come see them at their home."
Rabastan stepped away from his glass and regarded the house-elf suspiciously. "What for? Did they say?"
"No, Master," she said quietly.
Rabastan let out a soft noise of impatience, then slammed the door, almost catching her nose and long fingers in it.
What did Rodolphus and Bellatrix have to say to them that they couldn't be bothered to come tell him themselves? If it had only been Bellatrix who sent the message, Rabastan would assume that she was preparing to threaten him with the knowledge of what he had been doing with the Dark Lord – but Rodolphus wouldn't have anything to do with that, would he?
Maybe.
Rabastan could not, however, imagine that whatever it was was in any way a good thing for him.
He didn't bother telling his parents that he was going to see Rodolphus and Bellatrix – he had no doubt that they would waylay him with all sorts of lectures that he had no wish to hear. It would be better, he thought, to just go by himself and let them worry. If they even noticed that he was gone.
Bellatrix and Rodolphus had been given a small manor, not too far from the Lestrange's estate. It wasn't much – not in comparison to the manor that Rabastan and Rodolphus grew up in – but Rabastan knew full well that it was better than what he and Andromeda would be getting.
But when Rabastan showed up on the step, knowing that whatever happened next was going to be bad, very bad for him, the manor just looked intimidating.
He knocked on the door and it swung open when he touched it, creaking quietly. The foyer was empty, but Rabastan heard movement from the parlour, and edged towards it. The door was ajar.
Rabastan peered in, then immediately wished that he hadn't.
Bellatrix and Rodolphus were sprawled on the sofa, Bellatrix with her legs apart and Rodolphus in between them. He had his lips on her bare breast and was sucking her nipple in just the same way that Rabastan had seen him doing to Maria.
Was that something women liked? was the first thought to cross Rabastan's mind, and then, was that something Rodolphus liked?
"We're being watched, Rod," Bellatrix purred. Rabastan, who felt as if he had been frozen in place, stepped back quickly as Rodolphus lifted his head and looked at him.
"I- I wasn't- I was just–"
"Oh- it's all right." Rodolphus sat up quickly, cheeks flooding with colour, and Bellatrix straightened as well. The bodice of her dress was undone and she took her time in tightening it. Rabastan averted his eyes.
"You sent for me," he muttered.
"I did," Bellatrix said. Rabastan glanced at her and saw, with relief, that she had done up her dress and was covered properly. "I wanted to talk about last night. We wanted to talk about last night."
"What I did last night isn't anything to do with you," Rabastan snapped. Bellatrix's lip curled.
"Oh, on the contrary, darling," she drawled, standing and stepping towards him. Rodolphus watched the two of them and Rabastan dared to send his brother a pleading glance – please don't let her threaten me.
"So, you were with the Dark Lord, were you?"
"Yes," Rabastan muttered.
"And how was he?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"You know exactly what I mean," Bellatrix whispered. She was standing uncomfortably close to Rabastan now, and she reached out and stroked his cheek lightly. He shied away from her, disliking her touch.
"No, I don't!"
"How was he," she repeated, emphasizing every word like she was talking to an idiot, "in bed?"
"Bella!" cried Rodolphus. He jumped up, grabbing her arm. "Don't ask him things like that – he didn't go to bed with the Dark Lord! Don't accuse him of–"
"He was good," Rabastan interrupted.
Rodolphus fell abruptly silent, but Bellatrix let out a triumphant laugh.
"I knew it!" she crowed. "I knew you fucked him, and I knew you liked men–"
"Shut up!" snapped Rabastan. He wasn't looking at her. He was looking at Rodolphus and watching every flicker of emotion that was running across his brother's face. Fear, disdain, anger…
"Hope it doesn't run in the family," Bellatrix purred, reaching out to lay her hand on Rodolphus's shoulder, but he pushed her away, eyes fixed on Rabastan.
"Rab," he whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Rabastan swallowed and looked down, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "I didn't think you'd…" He trailed off. Didn't think you'd care. Didn't think you'd accept it. Didn't think you'd love me. Didn't think.
Then Rodolphus's arms were around him, pulling him close against his chest, and Rodolphus felt him shuddering with suppressed tears.
"Oh, Rab," he breathed. "Rab, I- did you think I was going to hate you for- for who you…"
Rabastan nodded. His throat choked with tears and he dug his fingers into his brother's shirt, clinging to him. "It's- it's wrong–"
"I don't care," Rodolphus whispered. "I don't, do you hear me, Rab? Nothing you do is ever going to make me love you any less – do you understand me?"
Rabastan sniffed, wiping his tears on his brother's shoulder, and oh, how he wished he could believe Rodolphus. He meant well, but Rabastan knew better than to believe that Rodolphus would accept him if he knew what Rabastan thought about him…
"Oh, that's sweet," Bellatrix sneered. "But we all know it's not true. I mean, Rabastan's spoiled goods now – he'll never get married if this gets out…"
"But I'm already betrothed to Andromeda!"
"If I told my parents that you fancy men, they'd break the engagement in a second," Bellatrix told him. "They'd marry my sister to someone who can get her pregnant. And then you'd never be able to get married, and you know how ashamed your family would be…"
"But–" The injustice of it all made Rabastan sick. "But Andromeda's- she prefers–"
"Women, yes. But she can still get pregnant from men, so she's still good for marriage. But if you can't get it up with a girl–"
"Shut up!" Rodolphus interrupted loudly. Rabastan winced at the harshness of his brother's voice, and fresh tears came to his eyes. Bellatrix fell silent and fixed a wary gaze on Rodolphus.
"You're not going to tell your parents about him," Rodolphus hissed. He let go of Rabastan and took a step towards Bellatrix, drawing himself up to stand threateningly over her. "You're not going to tell anyone about him. Not now and not ever, do you understand me?"
Bellatrix pressed her lips together tightly. "How are you going to stop me?" she hissed through gritted teeth.
"If you tell anyone anything about my brother's- personal life," Rodolphus hissed, "I'll tell my parents about you and Andromeda. I'll say I want a divorce, and I'll get it and you'll never be able to remarry. I'll spread the rumours and no one will ever want you."
"You wouldn't dare," Bellatrix breathed, eyes narrowing. "You swore to keep what happened between me and Andromeda quiet!"
"And I will," he said, all false patience, drawing Rabastan close to him again. "So long as you keep this quiet. Come on, Rab," he added quietly, pulling Rabastan towards the door.
"Bastard!" Bellatrix spat after them, and Rabastan saw Rodolphus shoot one last furious, withering glare at her before he dragged Rabastan out of the parlour and closed the door behind them.